Obama is sexy and powerful, please don’t shoot him. Fred Thompspon’s mug? Hot mess. Hillary… she’s been busted for years now (get some rest, lose the Trump comb over). Tionna Tee Smalls splains it all. MORE »

Poet warrior princess Maya Angelou is here, there and everywhere… like God. But most importantly, according to this latest ad, she’s behind Hillary Clinton. When she speaks are you motivated to vote, or just fall asleep on the couch? Can I get a hand count?

Last week, our hot-eyed video jock Liz Glover discovered how Americans for Truth About Homosexuality obsessed over Jesus dildos and Muhammad butt plugs. Her second installment includes asking transgender person Grace Harley how she learned to be straight. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: ABC New’s Brian Ross not allowed to get a “Taste of the Holidays…Dennis Cardoza takes flossing seriously…John Madden’s got fans in high places. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Fear not, there’s still hope for Gilbert Arenas marriage…Nancy Pelosi welcomes grandchild #7. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Valentino does one last show in D.C….Power Democrats of the Glover Park Group spend some time in sunny Puerto Rico…Bill Bennett is looking for a fight with Arianna Huffington. [Examiner]
* The Sleuth: Nancy Pelosi is after those misbehaving pages. [WP]
* Page Six:Will Smith joins list of celebs throwing their support behind Barack Obama. [NYP]
* Washington Whispers: Laura Bush is going to miss her White House Christmases…Jack Abramoff getting accustomed to the prison life-style…Democratic National Committee saw Huckabee coming…Social studies teachers choose Hillary Clinton and Fred Thompson. [USN&WR]

With a little push from the Freedom of Information Act, which we all know is pretty much useless once the man strikes all the good stuff, the State Department has released its $1.2 billion Blackwater contract. Out of 323-page document, 169 pages were blank with enough redactions to have it read like a dyslexic’s version of The Anarchist’s Cookbook. One random list simply reads: battery carrier tool, quick booster kit, heavy-duty work bench, distilled water and WD-40. Now, heads will start roll. Blackwater Contracts, Short on Detail [WaPo] MORE »

Former White House aide Lewis “Scooter” Libby has dropped his his appeal in the CIA leak case, his attorney said Monday. “We remain firmly convinced of Mr. Libby’s innocence,” attorney Theodore Wells said. “However, the realities were, that after five years of government service by Mr. Libby and several years of defending against this case, the burden on Mr. Libby and his young family of continuing to pursue his complete vindication are too great to ask them to bear.” Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has said the leak investigation is now closed. Libby Drops Appeal Of Spy Leak Conviction [AP]

Tweedy liberals are gonna be groaning over the appointment of conservative Sam Tanenhaus to editor of The New York Times’ Week In Review. In an internal memo, posted in full after the jump, you can see how The Grey Lady in no way takes it’s too seriously. Frank Rich suicide watch at Sardi’s!

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John Stossel and his mustache interview Ron Paul. Paul wants the government out of our personal habits so we can do all the coke, smack and pot we want. Hooray! Oh, he says the gays should do whatever they hell they want. Just don’t, you know, tread on me.

* If the Democrats in Congress knew about the CIA’s destruction of torture tapes and did nothing about it, why do conservatives hate the Democrats so much? [Michelle Malkin] MORE »

Sketchy State Dept. Inspector General Howard “Cookie” Krongard has resigned over the Blackwater fallout. In a statement, Krongard cited his recent battles with congressional Democrats. “I have nothing further to say at this time,” he said. MORE »

Jesus dildos! Baby Jesus butt plugs! Porn Again Christians! Is this a Richard Blakeley video? Ah, no. It’s the work of our virginal-yet-bendy Liz Glover who snuck into the National Press Club and infiltrated a presentation by Americans for Truth About Homosexuality. “Could you imagine if they had a Muhammad butt plug?” Why not? Knock yourself out!