• February 11, 2012

By the Comics CurmudgeonHoly crap! Your Comics Curmudgeon got an email from Jack Stuef about “Retro Day” at Wonkette or some crap like that, and was all like, “Yeah, I could get in on that, good times,” and then Stuef went and did it on Thursday, apparently unaware that Cartoon Violence was always, always written [...]

By the Comics CurmudgeonHello, everybody! Your Comics Curmudgeon has been lying low for a bit, because of the election madness, fearful that Speaker of the House John Boehner will be sending out his goon squads to round up the inadequately orange and put them into tanning booth camps. But then it turns out that he’s [...]

By the Comics CurmudgeonHooray, Tuesday will be the election, for real! Then we won’t ever have to worry about politics ever again, at least until mid-January, when Speaker Boehner orders us all to be rounded up and put in camps for “security purposes.” But until then, here is a fun cutting-edge political observation for you: [...]

Hello Wonkette readers! Your Comics Curmudgeon has had a good time also being your sometime morning editor, this year! But just as a “Realdoll” is not a substitute for human companionship, even the most personally fulfilling blogging gig is not a substitute for subsidized dental care.

Our former colonial masters, the British, used to be renowned for their terrifying navy, which would obliterate rival fleets and bombard barbarian cities from the sea in order to pave the way for colonial conquest. Unfortunately, the Brits are stone cold broke now, having spent all their Pounds Sterling on booze, and so their navy [...]

For the last two years the Republicans have been a wee bit obstructionist in the legislative department! Fortunately they are a minority in both houses of Congress, so the only result of this obstructionism has been the blockage of most of the Democratic agenda and the permanent poisoning of the political culture in Washington. What [...]

So we don’t know if you heard but it sounds like the midterm elections might not go so well, for the Democrats! Naturally this is of some concern to Barack Obama, who barely was able to pass any good laws despite controlling an overwhelming congressional majority, so who knows how he’s going to deal with [...]

Because all Republican rhetoric is about how the ELITE represses the PEOPLE and we should always side with the PEOPLE against the ELITE and their SINISTER GOVERNMENT, you might think that America’s actual economic elite would be opposed to Republican policies. You would be wrong, though! For instance, over the course of this cycle rich [...]

Have you heard about “rare earth metals”? Ha ha, of course not, you’re a moronic American slob, not some kind of “scientist.” Rare earth metals are metals that are somewhat rare and from the earth, and are crucial for making the components used in both the dumb electronics gizmos that you play with to substitute [...]

The phrase “will to power” gets thrown around a lot (by nerds, making nerd talk with each other), but it is probably indicative of something when a person seeking political office seems to have a big hard-on for arresting and imprisoning people. Like, remember when Alaska Senate candidate Joe Miller had his security goons arrest [...]

Three-day weekends are awesome, amiright? But sometimes you get back to the office on Tuesday and there’s a voicemail from 7:30 a.m. on Saturday, and you’re like, “Jesus, who does that? Why couldn’t they just send an email? Or wait until they knew I’d be back in?” But then you listen to the voicemail and [...]

NATO is escorting some high-level Taliban leaders that they were previously trying to kill to Kabul so that they will make nice with Hamid Karzai and the Afghan government and we can all go home, hooray! “High-level” does not include Mullah Omar, who is apparently a “prisoner” of the Pakistani ISI spy agency. Oh, and [...]

By the Comics CurmudgeonThe Wonkette empire was of course built on ass-fucking, but the prudes of American journalism have a problem with depicting anal sex in mainstream political cartoons. This despite the fact that it’s an act perfectly suited for modern-day politics’ crude discourse. (“Boy, that federal government sure is fucking us in the ass, [...]

Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone about, say, racial relations, and halfway through it the dude is all like, “Really, anything terrible I say about the blacks is totally not racist because MY SISTER DATES A BLACK GUY AND I’M TOTALLY FINE WITH IT”? This is an annoying but sometimes effective rhetorical [...]

The Senate three-way in Florida: Still happening, we guess! Rubio and orange-fleshed moderate Charlie Crist and whatshisname, the other guy, are duking it out for the right to a job that will allow them to get the hell out of Florida eight months out of the year. Charlie has a particularly tough task because he [...]