• May 26, 2012

Did you know that when you are a PR writer and you send our press releases you are supposed to write the headlines for those press releases as if they were the headlines of a legitimate news source? The sick fantasy of every PR flack is of course that some bleary-eyed editor will see your [...]

Let us tell you an instructive moral fable: Once upon a time there was a President, America’s Greatest, who was so Great that even though a crazy person shot him, and he bled profusely, he did not die, but went to stay president for years and years and years and fix all of our problems. [...]

Way back when your Comics Curmudgeon went to D.C. to make sure George W. Bush wasn’t going to pull off a coup at the last second, he would have never believed that he’d ever say anything nice about the dude, but here we are three years later and here’s something nice: George W. Bush has, [...]

Sometimes when you’re watching reruns of not-so-old TV shows, you wonder about what ever happened to the bit players. I mean, sure, Joey from Friends will never have to work a day in his life again (which is good, because he probably won’t), but what if you’re one of the ladies who played his interchangeable [...]

The last few years has been pretty much a nonstop ride of positive safety PR for the nuclear power industry, right? I mean, this is an technology that absorbed an enormous earthquake and tsunami and barely even killed anyone/left whole towns uninhabitable/terrified the world. Nuclear power couldn’t even bring harm to erstwhile Wonkette scribe Jack [...]

Hey, fun exercise: imagine nine people getting together to talk about tiny little gadgets that were invented specifically to cause agonizing pain, and figure out the parameters of who is allowed to use them on you, and in what context? Sounds awesome, right? Now, what if one of these nine people were, say, Antonin Scalia, [...]

You know what the difference is between America’s elite, the 1 percenters and the fast-rising politicians, and slobs like you? Planning. Like, you, for instance, have no plans for the day, and are trying to relieve the ennui by reading a blog about dick jokes and politics, and maybe later you’ll try masturbating or something, [...]

Real Americans everywhere are recoiling in disgust at Mitt Romney’s latest campaign move: He’s inviting the wealthiest plutocrats to dine with him on Star Island, a literally insular retreat of the rich and powerful near Miami. The fat cats will have to pony up $50,000 apiece just to bask in Mitt’s presence, with the campaign [...]

How many times will this tragedy repeat itself? A young person with great potential and maybe a few minor misdeeds in his past tries to go somewhere that he as an American has every right to go. But immediately the small-time powers in that land view him with mistrust, all because he chooses to wear [...]

Oh, man, when you get a 16-paragraph email from someone at 11 pm you know that only good things are in it, right? Generally these things are some variation of “I DON’T NEED YOU, WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME, YOU NEVER LOVED ME.” But Rick Santorum is made of tougher stuff than that, in that [...]

Sure, every single human shelled out good money this past weekend to watch their nerd fantasies come true and all of their favorite funnybook superheroes (at least all the ones owned by one specific media conglomerate, and not counting Spider-Man because he has his own movie coming out later this summer, we guess) come together [...]

Noted American humorist Dave Barry once remarked that the main jobs of a lieutenant governor are to wear a tie and call up the governor once a day to make sure he or she isn’t dead. And that was pretty funny … in the ’80s, when your Comics Curmudgeon was in junior high and loved [...]

You guys, Chief Executive magazine, the #1 magazine for Chief Executives by Chief Executives that isn’t Forbes, has studied each and every one of the states of this great union of ours to determine which one is best, for Chief Executives? Can you guess which one, based on our beloved cactus-dong photo to the right [...]

One of the nice young men who does the Planet Money podcast on the NPR somehow lured Edward Conard, who you might remember as the guy who created a shell corporation that existed only to donate $1 million to Mitt Romney’s SuperPAC, out to a plebeian coffee shop to talk about rich people. As a [...]

Are you sad because the exciting contest over which angry white fellow would take on Barack Obama in November is now over, and extra sad because the winner was the dude who was super awkward and boring, and not even super awkward and boring in kind of a fun way? Do you hold out high [...]