By the Comics Curmudgeon Hello children! Let me tell you a story of a magical time, February of 2006, when a young man, if by young you mean “31-year-old,” wrote to his favorite blog, Wonkette, asking to be an unpaid intern, at 31. Unpaid internships were not a Political Issue then, so why not, right? […]

Ha ha, guys, remember the summer of 2009, which was before the 2012 elections that made liberals so cocky and even before the 2010 elections that made conservatives so cocky? It was after the 2008 elections, which made liberals so cocky! Among other things that happened in ’08, the New York State Senate, which had […]

Does Dr. Professor Congressman Ron Paul count as one of our “pantheon of fallen heroes”? No, because he has chosen to leave Congress voluntarily, which means that he is Undefeated, forever. The fact that he is using his God/Constitution-granted Liberty to walk away from Congress has probably gotten him thinking, though, thinking about how Liberty […]

Let’s “open the kimono” here for a minute: Your Wonkette does not want this great nation of ours to be run by perverts and crazies; but, in another sense, your Wonkette needs this to be the case, because pervert/crazy politicians bring in the pageviews and associated ad moneys. That’s why the endless vote-recounting wackiness in […]

Good morning, Wonkette darlings! It is Monday, and you have to ask yourself: are you getting a little bored with the Petraeus scandal? We mean, sure, it’s fun thinking about the crazy grifting identical twins and hot (?) shirtless FBI guys, but the actual core of the scandal — married dude and married lady with […]

We’ll say this for Mitt Romney: He sure sets a low bar for the behavior of supposedly moderate Massachusetts Republicans! For instance, after Mitt spent a conference call with his big donors whining about how Barack Obama won the election by championing policies that will benefit Americans, Scott Brown’s post-loss press conference, where he (no […]

One of the “fun” things about presidential elections is that every four years there’s a new dumb thing about the process for political junkies to yell at each other about despite the disinterest or genuine disgust of normals, and this year it’s polling! Did Nate Silver’s devil-math suck all the fun out of democracy, forever? […]

True Americans everywhere are finally wising up to the fact that they will live another four years under the rule of the Nobamanation, and that basically all hope for freedom is now lost. We remember long ago in this nation when a skinny liberal weirdo from Illinois got elected, and threatened to redistribute Real Americans’ […]

You can find just about anywhere on the Internet right now important stories about how Team Obama used a bunch of high-tech gee-whiz computer business to analyze huge amounts of data on voters and contributors and get them out to the polls, both in 2008 and 2012. Well, the Republican establishment wasn’t about to take […]

Oh boy, we have now reached our favorite part of the election cycle: the end! It’s great because (a) the stressful part is over and (b) all the low-level staffers for both campaigns start telling secrets to the reporters that they most want to sleep with. And so it was that the lucky folks at […]

Good morning, America! Does this map look familiar to you? Of course it does, it’s the map appearing on every newspaper website in the country, indicating which party won all the various states in the Electoral College in last night’s election. Except this particular map actually comes from Nate Silver’s math and numbers emporium, and […]

Well, here’s one tiny bit of good news for Mitt Romney: one of your Comics Curmudgeon’s Facebook friends who’s a designer for an events company says Mitt’s set is much nicer than Barack’s. So glad we get to look at it, while he talks about how he lost! Let’s watch him sputter out his last […]

PEOPLE! We just heard from your Editrix, who is at her party at Busby’s East! This is at 5364 Wilshire Blvd., in Los Angeles, as if you don’t know. (323) 525-2615 is the phone number. Anyway she is “making new friends” which based on past antics might have wacky consequences. So go join her, for […]

Hello journalistic scum! I guess you thought you’d be able to just show up and “cover” the election-night party of one of the major-party candidates for president, seeing as it’s a “newsworthy” “event.” Well, too bad, suckers! Mitt Romney is a firm believer in the immutable laws of supply and demand, and he won’t “supply” […]

Hey, don’t forget: we’re not just electing a president today! We’re also electing a bunch of senators, many of whom have strong opinions about ladies who get raped, and some losers in the House too, ugh, who has time for those people, and, if we’re in Maryland, Maine, Washington State, or Minnesota, we also get […]