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Jesse Taylor

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Fox Nation: Did Obama Voter Fraud All Of Philadelphia?

In fifty-nine Philadelphia voting divisions, Mitt Romney received zero votes. Fifty-nine. Zero. Italics. Fox Nation posts this Philadelphia Inquirer article, leaving their commentariat to worry that maybe Obama totally vote-frauded the city, and Romney would have won if not for Obama's grand...

Did The Washington Post Bury Their Big Journalism Rapist Hug To Help Barack Obama?

The Washington Post did a very well-reported, if disturbing, piece on East Coast Rapist Aaron Thomas, detailing his trail of horrific crimes and his new admission that he committed them. However, this is Wonkette, so you know someone said something...

NRO Weeps For America’s New Oppressed Minority: Poll Truthers

After a month or so of really kind of absurd arguments that every poll in existence was skewed because of liberalism and Nate Silver being a big gay homosexual, we have now come full circle: Jim Geraghty at the National...

Washington Free Beacon Super Squicked Out By Stinky Girls

This morning, Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki was on MSNBC (obviously, what with all the socialisms). Remarking how busy the campaign was, she said that she'd just gotten off the campaign and been able to shower for the first time...

Sarah Palin Will No Longer Be Racist As Soon As She Understands What Racism Is

Hey, so after Arctic griftbull Sarah Palin was balls-out racist yesterday, saying Blackrack Obama was committing a "shuck and jive" against white people, she took to Facebook to pen a response to her awful critics. Well, not "pen," someone else...

Washington Post’s Premier Romney-Licker Jennifer Rubin: Why Does Mitt Romney Keep Apologizing For America?

Cartoon Romney sidekick Jennifer Rubin has determined, thanks to a Romney ad she saw, that Barack Obama did so apologize for America over and over and over again to the point that nobody is even sure if he was...

October 24, 2012: The Day Trump Changed Everything (LIVEBLOG)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, puppies and kittens: we are a mere twenty minutes away from Donald Trump changing everything by revealing something incredibly stupid and probably racist about Barack Obama. He will be doing this via Facebook and...

Trump ‘Bombshell’ II: Michelle Hates Barry, Wanted A Divorce

We revealed earlier that Donald Trump will probably tell us all that Barack Obama was the Kenyan Ricky Ross tomorrow, but there is a second, equally credible bombshell that Donald Trump will also probably embarrassingly reveal to absolutely no...

Joe The Plumber II: The Bidening

You will remember 2008, yes? When "Joe the Plumber" seized the nation's imagination and served as the nation's templar for our hopes that there was a secret groundswell of angry anti-Obama voters who would make the race close and...

Fox News Convenes Post-Debate Panel Of Snippy Idiots; Foofaraw Ensues

Fox News once again hired ruddy shitmonster Frank Luntz to convene a panel of undecided voters who watch Fox News (read: Romney voters who want to be on Fox News). There is video (as the kids are saying, "after...

Intrepid Conservative Blogger Magnificently Exposes Massive Hofstra-Based Conspiracy

Follow along, libtards, as some guy on the internet blows your whole world up. Last week's town hall debate was notable for many things - Romney trying to bumrush Obama like eighteen times, Obama not falling asleep five minutes in,...

Not-Muslim Mitt Romney Receives Valuable Bigotry And Endorsement From Texas Church

Teeny-tiny little "non-denominational" (FUCKIN' CHRISTIAN, BOY) Church in the Valley of Leakey, Texas, has a new sign up welcoming everyone but Barack Obama. The sign reads, "Vote for the Mormon, not the Muslim! The capitalist, not the communist!" That marquee standing outside...

America, Meet Your Newest Presidential Assassin: Candy Crowley

There has been, perhaps, no transgression in American debate history worse than when, in the middle of Tuesday's townhall debate, Candy Crowley swung from the rafters and literally probably shot Mitt Romney in the back of the head by...

Mitt Romney To Fellow Plutocrats: Tell Peasant Employees They Will Get Fired If They Vote For Obama

Recently, numerous big Republican employers who've done incredibly well over the past four years have started to threaten their employees with layoffs if Barack Obama is reelected, because they'd logically give up billions of dollars to spite a black...

Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya

Last night, human dishonesty machine Mitt Romney lied about Barack Obama not calling the attack on the Benghazi consulate an "act of terror" for fourteen days. Candy Crowley (or CanCrow, as the kids call her) corrected Mitt, because he...

Fox News Watergates Debate Transcript; Erases Four Worst Minutes Of Mitt Romney’s Life

There's a conspiracy afoot, kid detectives! After the debate, the networks posted "transcripts" of the debate. "What's a transcript?" your dumb friend might ask. Well, a transcript is when someone writes down everything people said and then you cite from...