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Jesse Taylor

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Georgia Says Screw It, Allows Guns In Airports, School Zones, Other Awesome Places To Have Guns

Today, Georgians with a hyperinflated sense of ego-driven invincibility rejoiced as Governor Nathan Deal signed into law a bill that allows them to protect innocent victims virtually anywhere they wish, like when they're drinking or when someone gives them the...

Racist, Sexist People Think Michelle Obama Is Fat Because Of Racism, Sexism

For those of you who watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, you will know what we mean when we say that conservatives are trying to Sweet Dee Michelle Obama. For those of you who don't, Sweet Dee is the...

National Review: Only A Monster Would Say The Nazis Didn’t Make Sense

There's a funny joke that liberals tell each other (okay, I lie, liberals are never funny because they are too busy being offended by non-lesbians) about how if Obama came out against Nazis, conservatives would find a way to...

Same-Sex Marriage Opponents Have A Grand New Incoherent Argument: Marriage Is For Dumbs

Lawyers defending Prop 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act have come up with a really good argument for why the gays shouldn't be able to get married: they think too much before they have babies. Marriage should be limited...

David Mamet: David Mamet Needs Guns Because Of Affirmative Action And Such

You likely remember David Mamet for writing a bunch of pretty good stuff that never quite got over the top to greatness, like Wag the Dog and State and Main. If not that, then you should know him for...

Matt Drudge Has Melancholy Breakup With America, Tweets Sad Poetry

Matt Drudge, long known as the man behind the homepage of the Internet for people who still think it's 1998, has recently taken to posting on Twitter. Because he is basically just a crazy, hyperemotional shill, it turns out that...

Michael Savage: Don’t Let The Flu Mandarins Put Autism In You

Your Wonkette writer had the flu last week. Let us put it this way: if you're in desperate need of using every blanket in your home, then sweating through your clothes for two straight days, then go lick doorknobs...

Ghost Andrew Breitbart Helped Convince John Boehner That Nobody Was Going To Overthrow Him

As it turns out, the plot to overthrow John Boehner and replace him with someone who didn't actually know they were up for Speaker of the House was larger than previously thought. The short version is that there were a...

Daily Caller Writer Was Just Asking Responsible Questions About Hillary Clinton Faking It

Jim Treacher, who periodically writes incredibly stupid shit at the Daily Caller Media Foundation Trademark, is now demanding the real birth certificate for Hillary Clinton's concussion or something, and DEMANDS RESPECT FOR HIS CRUSADE. A few weeks ago, when Hillary’s...

A Helpful Taxonomy Of Who Should Be Carrying Guns Around Children

In these heady days after a man committed a horrific mass murder of innocent children, it's easy to think, "We would all be safer if everyone carried around big-ass rifles to protect against crime."  And it's easy to think...

In Bout Of Not-Affirmative Action, GOP To Promote Party’s Lone Remaining Black Representative

Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC), who is the Other Black House Republican Besides Allen West, is your newest Senator from South Carolina, after Jim Demint left to grift money at the Heritage Foundation!  YAY!!! Many people think that Tim Scott is somehow...

Conservatives Crush Dumb Liberals With Popular Political Hashtag, Not So Much With Ideas, Candidates, Campaigns, Message

Twitchy, which is the website your mom would put together if she were a crazy conservative asshole obsessed with microscopically relevant Twitter bullshit, has CONFIRMED TODAY RIGHT NOW that #tcot was the most popular political hashtag in 2012, and so...

Fox News Host Reveals Dastardly Obama Plan To Replace Christian God With Bo The Dog

The Obama White Black Muslim House is sending out a "holiday" card (not a CHRISTMAS card, despite the fact that CHRIST IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON except for Hanukkah but that doesn't count because unlike Christmas it's just...

Jan Brewer Is Your New Mark Sanford Of Unexplained Weird (Sex?) Trips

Lady Governess Janice Brewer of Arizona has left her state on "official business." Well, let's be fair: Grand Dame Brewer has left her state for completely unexplained reasons, during which she failed to certify election results, and will be...

Donald Trump Makes Five Million Dollar Bet With Irony, Loses

In an exclusive interview with NewsMax, because they are the only people who will talk to him without spitting in his hair-blanket, Donald Trump reveals that the GOP should not be as "mean spirited" going forward. “Republicans didn’t have anything...

Hurricane Hypeman Joe Biden Warms Up The East Coast For Your Homeboy Barack Obama

Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter. Said Joey the Biden to Sandy victims to make them feel better and convince them they have a black friend: “So as the...