Let’s say you are Michigan nerd-governor Rick Snyder’s chief information officer David Behen and let’s say you had a fun idea for a school voucher policy. How would you go about making your special plan a reality? Would you go through normal channels to make policy in the transparent process that we’ve become accustomed to in these […]

As everyone who watches Fox News unironically knows, Dearborn, Michigan, is filled with Islamist sleeper cells just waiting to be activated by an Al Jazeera anchor instructing them to play a nice game of Halal solitaire. With the go code delivered, these Muslim terrorists will rise up and strike at America’s Arsenal of Democracy, reducing the […]

Oh my God, you guys, those awful gays just refuse to stop bullying poor Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema just because he likes to repeat defamatory lies about gays, many of whom live in the magical far away place known as the “Flight Attendant Realm” where they have wild orgies, plot half the murders in […]

So remember Thad McCotter? The nobody Congressman who ran for president of the Iowa Straw Poll and lost, and then failed to gather enough real petition signatures to run for reelection, and then quit Congress in a blaze of glory and banal Dylan lyrics as his former staffers were about to be indicted for petition […]

Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema got away with saying Obama and pretty much every terrorist is a Muslim and cutting funding to orphans and skipping budget votes to shoot sheep so it’s no wonder that he’s genuinely surprised other Republicans are now very upset because he turned his trademark awfulness toward the gays. So Agema has […]

Dave Agema, the Republican National Committeeman from Michigan and former state representative, is a Wonkette favorite. Wonketeers love him for his charming efforts to cut funding to a program that buys clothes for orphans, his willingness to miss key budget votes to shoot Siberian sheep, his fondness for tear-gassing American citizens, his deep-abiding belief that […]

Remember last year when angry old sportswriter Harry “Buzz” Bissinger endorsed Mitt Romney because Mittens was totally lying about everything? It was probably non-sports fans’ first introduction to the douchepile that is Buzz Bissinger, so here is a quick primer. Back when the internet consisted of three Star Trek fans on a dial-up message board, […]

So remember last year when Michigan’s Nerd-Governor Rick Snyder passed Right-To-Work like a ninja without so much as a committee hearing or an acknowledgment that Right to Work was something he wanted to do? Yeah, that was fun. And remember how all those union thugs — teachers, nurses, autoworkers, society’s dregs mostly — protested this stunning public […]

When Sen. Carl Levin announced he wasn’t running for re-election in 2014, he didn’t just retire with class, befitting his distinguished record of public service, but he also gave this nation a great gift: Nearly two years of speculation about Michigan’s 2014 Senate race. It came not a moment too soon because America was quickly […]

New American hero Mike Frey isn’t just an ordinary “concerned Minnesotan.” He is also a husband and father, so you can understand why he is so concerned about this gay marriage thing. He’s agin it and he wants to make sure Minnesota lawmakers are also agin this “gay marriage.” See, married people have sex. Like […]

This is really sad, you guys. Just because a federal jury decided that you can’t run a city like it was your personal organized crime family, former Detroit Mayor/convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick, a man Russell Simmons once called the “Hip Hop Mayor,” may never again enjoys the epicurean delights of Washington DC landmark “Benz Chili […]

Today is International Women’s Day, which means two things. First, we have to listen to people say stupid things like: “I’m not a sexist, but why isn’t there an International Men’s Day?” The correct answer to that question is International Men’s Day is in November and the more correct answer is (read in your best […]

Six-term U.S. Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) announced today he’ll retire when his term ends in 2014. The professorial/grandfatherly senator was known for rumpled suits, huge combover, glasses tenuously perched on the edge of his nose, and dragging the banking industry’s worst dreck before a committee hearing to tear them new assholes. While other senators (LIZ […]

The city of Detroit, which has been basically issuing bonds to pay for daily expenses since 2005, is in such bad fiscal shape that even people who bought exurban McMansions in 2005 with reverse-money-down ARMs think the city is in a financial mess. That’s why America’s favorite pro-”right-to-work” nerd-governor, Rick Snyder, is going to appoint an emergency […]

“These are the times that try men’s souls,” Thomas Paine once wrote, even though some scold of a junior high language arts teacher probably told him he should have written “times like these try men’s souls” because active voice. Today, as in Paine’s time, men’s souls are tried. We’re not worried about securing our independence […]