Jeff Wattrick

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Jeff Wattrick is someone whose unsolicited submissions accidentally get published on Wonkette. He also writes for Deadline Detroit, which is this thing on the internet about the Motor City.

If we want to be bleeding heart about it, pedophiles like former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky are monsters in the truest sense of the word. As Wikipedia explains, "the word 'monster' derives...

Let’s imagine Tom Friedman is in an Indianapolis taxi driving to Lucas Oil Stadium for the NFL Scouting Combine. Tom Friedman asks the cab driver what he thinks about the NFL Scouting Combine because...

GOP pollster Frank Luntz is the kind of hired gun political hack who can, with a straight face, say stuff like: "To be 'Orwellian' is to speak with absolute clarity, to be succinct, to...

When Michael Sam is drafted — it should be a matter of when not if, because if Sam liked lady bits, there would no question he would get drafted — Sam would be the first...

As everyone knows the only real racists anymore are the blacks because they racistly always have to remind real Americans (the job creators who keep sunscreen manufacturers profitable) that life in this country wasn’t,...

Probably today everyone at Hillsdale College, located near Michigan's not-terribly-Irish "Irish Hills," is longing for that simpler time when their president was only a creepy weirdo who (allegedly) sexed his daughter-in-law until she committed...

Michigan's next gubernatorial election is only 15 months away and the match-up is pretty much set. Nerd-Governor Rick Snyder is expected to face likely Democratic challenger Mark Schauer. Naturally the only responsible thing to...

Frank Beckmann, the long-time radio voice of the University of Michigan and severely Caucasian right-wing radio host/newspaper columnist, took time out from his normal activities (holding hands with football coaches and singing Josh Groban...

Apparently the sack of crap CEO of awful mall store Abercrombie and Fitch, Mike Jeffries, said he doesn't like it when you fuglies shop at his stores. He said this to Salon back in 2006...

Imagine for a second a place where there are vibrant, diverse cities near majestic mountains and oceans and lakes, where the climate is temperate but never Arizona hot, where there is universal health care...

Gawd, you people are awful. According to famous women-binding failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney the problem with you selfish dolts is that you simply won't get married when you're really young. "Some people could marry,...

So it turns out there is this super rad Islamic cleric in Washington, DC, who marries gay couples because, like decent people of all faiths, Imam Daayiee Abdullah just ignores the crazy medieval stuff and focuses...

This 2008-2011 model Ford Focus SES spotted in downtown Detroit probably doesn't belong to the real John Galt, the one with a verified Twitter account or whatever. The real John Galt's car would have...

So remember that dumb thing about Rick Santorum speaking/not speaking to some high school students about “leadership?” Well, he did speak Wednesday at Grosse Pointe South High School and got paid $18,000 for it....

Buena Vista Township sounds like some swampy patch of Florida where Jack Lemmon or Al Pacino might try to sell you real estate, but it’s not. It’s worse. Buena Vista Township is this miserable...

Let's say you are Michigan nerd-governor Rick Snyder's chief information officer David Behen and let's say you had a fun idea for a school voucher policy. How would you go about making your special plan...

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