THE D.C. GOSSIP  11:01 am May 19, 2011

Washingtonienne Update!

by Jack Stuef

Considering this is Retro Day, and Wikipedia says some word vomit called a “Washingtonienne” is what Wonkette is “known for,” we should probably let you know what is going on in the life of this sex-haver! Google says she had what appears to be a teevee pilot in 2009, featuring such fun characters as “Politician,” […]

• Wonkette editor Jack Stuef decides to make this Retro Day, celebrating the rich, vile history of the crass political blog. [Wonkette] • Rail-thin recumbent biking hippie kid Dick Cheney has decided to go with his “before pic” for his memoir cover. Liz Cheney says he will try to kill and torture people with his […]

This morning, Esquire‘s politics blog put up a fake joke post about WorldNetDaily’s Joseph Farah finally coming around and realizing he was wrong about President Obama’s birth certificate, and was pulling back the release of his hilarious fact-denying organization’s new book on the matter. The joke here is that it goes against the very biology […]

Here is something “amusing”: The Obama re-election campaign is selling t-shirts in exchange for donations. In a wry joke about how awful the country is that Obama claims to love, it says “MADE in the USA” and has a copy of his birth certificate on back: Notice it says made, not born in the U.S.A. […]

Wow, that Newt Gingrich sure is good at getting media coverage! He didn’t even have to take a bath of party favors this time. “Any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood.” HE IS “ON THE RECORD”: You cannot quote things he has said for which he has guiltily apologized, because […]

Wonkette operative “Matt” sends us this screengrab from SFGate.com. Is the reason the U.S. government doesn’t want us to see the bin Laden photos is that he’s too handsome? Americans aren’t going to be grossed out by them. They’re going to join up with Al Qaeda to gawk at all the pretty, ageless gentlemen.

Presidential candidate Gary Johnson is fired up about an endorsement from country music legend Willie Nelson and the Teapot Party. Teapot: you get it? You get it. In the previous two elections, Nelson endorsed Dennis Kucinich, so you know this will vault Johnson to the presidency. (How many states will he win? That’s less clear. […]

Newt Gingrich’s week has been so bad that he can’t shake one person’s hand without that nobody immediately making news. First it was the “get out!” guy; now Newt has had a box of glitter dumped on him because he dislikes gays. Yes, glitter is a more cost-effective way to be shiny than running up […]

According to Real Clear Politics, which we were certain was just a dumping ground for releases by right-wing pollsters, but apparently has HUMAN or HUMAN-LIKE writers, Rick Perry is being considered for the Republican presidential nomination. “RCP has learned that political associates have begun to nose around quietly on Perry’s behalf.” Ooh! “Political associates!” (This […]

2.) In life, events tend to follow patterns. People who commit crimes tend to be criminals, for example. Can anyone tell me any economists who have been convicted of violent sex crimes? Can anyone tell me of any heads of nonprofit international economic entities who have ever been charged and convicted of violent sexual crimes? […]

“Callista Gingrich, was employed by the House Agriculture Committee until 2007, according to public records. She listed a ‘revolving charge account’ at Tiffany and Company in the liability section of her personal financial disclosure form for two consecutive years and indicated that it was her spouse’s debt. The liability was reported in the range of […]

A special ceremony is planned Tuesday afternoon at McDonald’s in Fond du Lac for Don Gorske. That’s because, since 1972, Gorske has eaten at least two Big Macs a day, which means the 57-year-old will be eating his 25,000th Big Mac on the 39th anniversary of eating his first. Good he got that in now. […]

This Iowan stole Newt Gingrich’s hand and wouldn’t give it back until the adulterer said he was sorry. We’re not sure if the whiny “I didn’t do anything to Paul Ryan!” or the smile stuck on Newt’s shiny-headed wife’s face during all of this is the best part.

Wonkette operative “Paul G.” sends in this rewritten AP article printed in the St. Petersburg Times. Look, the death of bin Laden actually resulted in a slight restoration of civil liberties! But we’re still going to call them “Muslin.” Speaking of which, are our friends on Facebook still concerned about “the Muslin’s”?

The police do not need a warrant to enter a home if they smell burning marijuana, knock loudly, announce themselves and hear what they think is the sound of evidence being destroyed, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday in an 8-to-1 decision. “Police! We were walking by and heard evidence being destroyed! Open the door […]