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Jack Stuef

1644 POSTS 64 COMMENTS
Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

Hey, Remember When Jack Stuef Almost Broke Your Wonkette? Good Times. By Jack Stuef

This website still exists. It’s a political weblog, known for “rounding up” the day’s Internet news pages and offering unique “online-only” points-of-view on the Beltway’s goings-on. Someone should have taken a photo of it and placed it within...

With Bin Laden Dead, My Work Here Is Done

All Wonkette editors leave you eventually. Today, it is my turn. So this is my last post ever. What a ride, etc.! I've enjoyed making fun of politics for this dumb little blog. But now it is time to...

Alvin Greene Delivers Ultimate Daoist Lesson On Letting Go

This afternoon your editor, who first interviewed South Carolina's only ever black U.S. Senate candidate last summer, called up Alvin Greene and asked for the Daoist monk's perspective on saying goodbye when it's difficult to let go. Greene's response? He...

Undeclared Republican Presidential Candidate Power Rankings, Week 2

On Monday, if he's still around after the rapture (UNLIKELY!), Tim Pawlenty will officially announce his campaign for president. Okay! But there's still nobody in the race anybody, even wingnuts, would want to vote for. Once again, America turns...

Lindsey Graham’s Butchest Moments

For years, Lindsey Graham has been dogged (a little bit of pun intended there) by allegations that he is gay. He denies this, and professes to just be a strange bachelor whose house is strewn with trash. Last December,...

World’s Most Unfortunate Young Woman Joins Palin Family

In Alaska, tragedy has struck: Sarah Palin's son Track (who is a person, not a Hot Wheels play set), married a young woman, officially making her a Palin and a part of the Arctic's largest grifting operation. Around the...

Willie Nelson On Gary Johnson Endorsement: ‘My Bad’

It would appear Willie Nelson read our joke about Dennis Kucinich running for president and took it very seriously: “I know I said that,” Nelson replied. “But I think I will wait and see where he stands on other things....

Tim Pawlenty Has No Idea Why He’s Running For President

Mitt Romney's perennial challenger for Nation's Most Boring Governor, Tim Pawlenty, has decided to decide their epic rivalry once and for all in the 2012 presidential contest. But if you're going to run for president, one of the things...

Mitt Romney Angry Obama Pushed His Best Friend Israel On the Ground

Uh oh! Yesterday, when Mitt Romney wasn't around to protect the defenseless Zionist nation, world bully Barack Obama beat it to a bloody pulp, saying in a speech that an Israel-Palestine peace deal should start with restoring the borders...

Ask a Lobbyist: Baby Origins

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn't. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.This week: sweaty encounters between boastful...

I’ve Got Friends In Jihad Places

Here's some hott Harriet Miers news from the nation's top Harriet Miers blog: She's now working as a lobbyist for Pakistan! Cool! Dealing with terrorist-coddlers like Pakistani officials is pretty much just as bad as working with Antonin Scalia,...

Metro Section: Great Assassinations

"Justin’s Café opened last year, just a few blocks from Nationals Park. They opened up shop at 1025 First Street SE with a fine line of beer, wine, and meals oh so divine. Pardon, my rhyme but I feel...

Wonk’d: Neocon Expo

This week, Paul Wolfowitz, Scooter Libby, Dick Gephardt, Alberto Gonzalez, Zell Miller, Strom Thurmond, and Tim Russert were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after...

Gossip Roundup: Osama-Free Tuna

• Inside the Beltway: Lady with boobs is more or less taking part in boob competition. • Reliable Source: Rahm Emanuel is getting his house back from those dirt-faced squatters who tried to stop him from checking into the...

Wonkette Answers: Our Plans

Haha, what the hell was this feature? Did people really care about who the person who wrote this blog was? We don't have any questions like this in our inbox, so let's just answer the first thing we see...

Washingtonienne Update!

Considering this is Retro Day, and Wikipedia says some word vomit called a "Washingtonienne" is what Wonkette is "known for," we should probably let you know what is going on in the life of this sex-haver! Google says she...