Author Archives: Greg Wasserstorm

 

Not Quite a Wardrobe Malfunction, But Still Bad

Barry and Hills are tied in Texas, which means this primary could feasibly end sometime before we’re all dead of old age or election fatigue. [Real Clear Politics] Every time some region goes and decides it wants to be independent from some other country after a war and 10 years of international administration, people can’t just relax and let it happen. What’s the big deal, guys? [Washington Note] Read more on Not Quite a Wardrobe Malfunction, But Still Bad…
 

An Endorsement Is Not a Vote

Hills isn’t that far ahead of Barry in the Lone Star State, a place that apparently isn’t as racist as we thought. [Real Clear Politics] Blowing up satellites is way more fun than fixing them. [Washington Note] Read more on An Endorsement Is Not a Vote…
 

Immunity for the Persecuted/Prosecuted

WALNUTS! and Mittens Unite! is a year-long, nationwide comedy tour, call your local ticketing agent to book. [The Swamp] Immunity week continues. Up next: Iraq contractors. [Think Progress] Hey everybody, look at the New York Times and their silly, dying medium! What’s wrong reporters, don’t have a high-power blogging job? Us neither. [Daily Intelligencer] Read more on Immunity for the Persecuted/Prosecuted…
 

President of America, King of Heaven

Turns out the campaign manager Clinton fired kind of needed to be fired a long time ago. [Real Clear Politics] The new Nuremburg trials are going to be way way better than the old ones. [Washington Note] Read more on President of America, King of Heaven…
 

If The Clintons Lose, There Will Be Nothing

John McCain and Barack Obama have massive leads in our triple-Siamese primary. When you attach DC to Maryland and Virginia, our dumb little city almost matters! Almost. [Real Clear Politics] The thing to remember about Democrats is that none of them can win unless they are named Clinton. Then all they do is win. So don’t vote for Obama. Then the Clintons won’t win. [James Wolcott] Read more on If The Clintons Lose, There Will Be Nothing…
 

DC Almost Matters This Year

They’ve just been pulling soo many troops out of Iraq that it’s time to take a break for a while. [New York Times] After all those profiles and writes ups, Clinton’s foxy campaign manager gets the axe because, obviously, she’s the problem. [New York Times] Read more on DC Almost Matters This Year…
 

Conference of Lies. Lies!

Everyone in America will die if Democrats are elected president. But, you know. That’s always been true. [Washington Note] Bill Clinton doesn’t want to be the story, but he’s probably going to do it anyway. [The Hill Blog] Read more on Conference of Lies. Lies!…
 

Contract Work Gets Harder Every Year

Mitt “Mittens” Romney’s grip on reality turned out to be a lot stronger than we gave him credit for. And usually our character judgment is so sharp. [Washington Post] Legal torture, illegal torture, who can really keep track of these things? All we know is America must be kept safe. [New York Times] Read more on Contract Work Gets Harder Every Year…
 

Mittens Will Always Keep Us Warm

Barry Hussein will have a good week this week — his horoscope says so. [Wizbang Politics] Hey, remember the Iraq war? Remember those benchmarks? Well, you’re pretty much the only one. [AMERICAblog] Read more on Mittens Will Always Keep Us Warm…
 

When Everyone Wins, America Loses

It’s not democracy unless everybody gets to give an acceptance speech. [New York Times, New York Times, Washington Post, Washington Post, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times] Networks try restraint, and fail (again). [New York Times] Read more on When Everyone Wins, America Loses…
 

Super Snooze Day

If JFK was such a great president, why didn’t he do like a million more wonderful things before he got his brains blasted across the backseat of a convertible in Dallas, huh? [Interesting Times] Read more on Super Snooze Day…
 

She Could Go All The Way

Remember the surplus? Us neither! [Naked Politics] Oh yeah, we vaugely remember living through some kind of political crisis for the past eight fucking years. Way to miss the boat, dude. [The Hill] Read more on She Could Go All The Way…
 

Ken Burns Should Be So Proud

American forces go all willy-nilly into whatever Arab nation they want because, you know, why would Iran or Syria mind a little cross-border excursion? [New York Times] Every American sacrifices and does their part at home to help the war effort abroad. Ha ha ha, just kidding, we’re going to let China pay for this one. [New York Times] Read more on Ken Burns Should Be So Proud…
 

A Good Offense

It’s news when Barry and Hillary fight, but it’s bigger news when they don’t. [LA Times, Washington Post, The Hill] The US couldn’t defend itself if someone (like Russia) were to attack the homeland. WHAT WOULD REAGAN SAY ABOUT THAT? [USA Today] Read more on A Good Offense…
 

Barry Moneybags

Barry Obama tricked the Clintons into attacking him because he knew what it would do for him in South Carolina. Right? [AMERICAblog] Is Mittens going to throw in the towel after his riveting performance in the Air Force One debate last night? Is he, is he? [Balloon Juice] Read more on Barry Moneybags…
 

Obamalot

Asia is a new country that will soon make Mitt Romney its first-ever president. [Wizbang Politics] Obama going negative is like the leaves changing, or the cherry blossoms blooming in springtime. [AMERICAblog] Read more on Obamalot…