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DAILY BRIEFING

Executive Pipe Dreams

Monday, February 25th, 2008
  • America has begun to worry that some lunatic might try and assassinate its beloved President Barack Hussein Obama. [New York Times]
  • Hillary Clinton can finally take a breather from her losing streak because nobody’s voting this week. [New York Times]
  • Clinton and Obama have a lot of the same views, and also a lot of the same changes of views. [Washington Post]
  • John McCain is the (presumed) GOP nominee for like 10 seconds, and WALNUTS! gets his first FEC complaint. [The Hill]
  • ¡Viva Raúl! [Washington Post]
  • 2008 is going to be Nader’s year, we just feel it. [Los Angeles Times]
  • The little governors who dream of something more. [New York Times]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Thanks for the Explanation

Friday, February 22nd, 2008
  • You wouldn’t be a presidential candidate if you didn’t have lots of corporate lobbyist friends. [Firedoglake]
  • WALNUTS! thinks highly of the FEC. [Talking Points Memo]
  • Barack Obama likes to set records and then break them. [Political Wire]
  • HERE’S FOR HAVING INTEGRITY, MOR-AN! [Right Wing News]
  • Barry cares about the opinions of all reactionary, self-involved jackasses and thus will probably take you up on your bet. [Redstate]
  • Yes, Michelle, please explain to us what Barbara Jordan stood for, because as a progressive voice for civil rights, you would know better than anyone else. [Michelle Malkin]
  • Listen Canada, let’s not do anything rash with a man whose only crime is making American teenagers happy. [Reason]
  • Rick and George are best of friends. [Fresh Intelligence]
  • Tom Coburn wishes he personally could have used chemical weapons on the Kurds in the 1980s. [Balloon Juice]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Free Info Sesh!

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
  • Looks who’s inevitable now! [Real Clear Politics]
  • Seems like a handful of select executives directing all of your policy is bad practice after all. [Washington Note]
  • Suggesting that men are sexist is sexist, and therefore anyone who talks about it is sexist, and this is why Hillary Clinton should be our next president so shut the fuck up. [James Wolcott]
  • “Candidates split on Cuba” is a confusing headline, because nobody wants to do anything but the same thing we’ve been doing for 50 years. [Naked Politics]
  • Oh, we thought Nevada was all over and done with. NOPE! [Politico]
  • Hillary wants you to know the “facts” about superdelegates! how thoughtful! [Hot Air]
  • McCain has all the time in the world to plan his anti-Barry campaign. [Political Wire]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

A Cold Day in Wisconsin

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
  • Barry’s got the lead in Wisconsin, which means he might get to hold on to that state’s delegates until Hills steals them from him at the convention. [OpenLeft]
  • WALNUTS! says this current evil is the most evil of all evil. [Firdoglake]
  • Florida proclaims evolution is but a theory. [Think Progress]
  • What’s so wrong with borrowing? Didn’t you people ever learn to share? [Swamp Politics]
  • Barry and Hills want to crush your dreams of becoming an astronaut. [The RBC]
  • WALNUTS! often says silly things that make no sense, and today he is saying them about an imaginary pledge Barry made to take public financing. Perhaps he’s worried about having to run his campaign without any money. We would be. [Carpetbagger Report]

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DAILY BRIEFING

Castro Packs Up His Cigars And Goes Home

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
  • America won’t have Fidel Castro to kick around anymore. After nearly 49 years in power, the Cuban leader has stepped down. [Miami Herald]
  • Castro’s farewell letter to his beloved Cuba isn’t as long as one of his speeches, anyway. Read it in English here and in Spanish here. [Diario Granma]
  • Pervez Musharraf’s party got spanked at the elections, paving the way for two moderate opposition parties to remake Pakistan into the peaceful, secular “Switzerland of South Asia” we always knew it could be. [New York Times]
  • Someone finally told the President about Darfur and now he talks about it all the time like he invented it or something. [New York Times]
  • Clinon’s black supporters wonder how to deal with Obama - other than vote for him, of course. [Washington Post]
  • Listen, you get all the way over to China and pretty much everything looks the same, including all their dumb factories. [Washington Post]
  • For Republicans in need of re-election, campaigning with a man who will never be president will be far more helpful than campaigning with one who is. [Politico]
  • Populist rhetoric never works on the campaign trail. Except after 7 years of this shit, in which case it works pretty well. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Oh, hey. There’s a primary in Wisconsin. [Washington Times]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Not Quite a Wardrobe Malfunction, But Still Bad

Monday, February 18th, 2008
  • Barry and Hills are tied in Texas, which means this primary could feasibly end sometime before we’re all dead of old age or election fatigue. [Real Clear Politics]
  • Every time some region goes and decides it wants to be independent from some other country after a war and 10 years of international administration, people can’t just relax and let it happen. What’s the big deal, guys? [Washington Note]
  • Hillary Clinton: democracy’s candidate. [Naked Politics]
  • And it’s starting to occur to the Hillary people that maybe Bill hasn’t really helped out that much. [Wizbang Politics]
  • Those goddamn homo penguins are ruining the chances for a gay marriage ban. [AMERICAblog]
  • “Slippage” is always a problem for the ladies, now spreading into the area of superdelegates. [Ben Smith]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

An Endorsement Is Not a Vote

Friday, February 15th, 2008
  • Hills isn’t that far ahead of Barry in the Lone Star State, a place that apparently isn’t as racist as we thought. [Real Clear Politics]
  • Blowing up satellites is way more fun than fixing them. [Washington Note]
  • James Wolcott can’t seem to say a single thing we agree with. [Wolcott's Blog]
  • Clinton Country isn’t quite what it used to be. [Gothamist]
  • Hey, tornado victims! Now that you’ve moved into your brand new FEMA trailers we have more good news — they’re toxic! [AMERICAblog]
  • Some Democratic Leader Dan Gelber says that Democrats should solve their nomination problems in one mail-in super primary. And how would the superdelegates weild their influence then, smart guy? [Naked Politics]
  • And hey, you know all your superdelegate counting? It’s totally screwed. [Ben Smith]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Immunity for the Persecuted/Prosecuted

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
  • WALNUTS! and Mittens Unite! is a year-long, nationwide comedy tour, call your local ticketing agent to book. [The Swamp]
  • Immunity week continues. Up next: Iraq contractors. [Think Progress]
  • Hey everybody, look at the New York Times and their silly, dying medium! What’s wrong reporters, don’t have a high-power blogging job? Us neither. [Daily Intelligencer]
  • Dear Abby is a filthy, Satan-worshiping whore, study finds. [Newsbusters]
  • Hillary will debate her way to the White House, even if she’s only debating herself. [Real Clear Politics]
  • There’s a Tennessee state senator who knows rape when he sees it, and this just is not rape. [Politico]
  • Hillary takes a page from the Nixon playbook, because what an effective strategy that was. [Hot Air]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

President of America, King of Heaven

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
  • Turns out the campaign manager Clinton fired kind of needed to be fired a long time ago. [Real Clear Politics]
  • The new Nuremburg trials are going to be way way better than the old ones. [Washington Note]
  • Everybody knows what an Obama blowout is good thing for HIllary. Or something. [Wizbang Politics]
  • The FISA bill is so ridiculous even Diane Feinstein is voting against it. What’s the exscuse for the rest of you? [AMERICAblog]
  • Well, at lest Mississippi and Virgina are next to each other. [Politico]
  • One Paultard won’t let the rules of the road come between him and his presidential candidate. [Reason]
  • Obama is winning races held today AND in the future. [Political Wire]
  • The left dominates the internet because we all have so much free time. [The Carpetbagger Report]
  • Huckles is unstoppable even though it’s not at all clear who’s voting for him. [Daily Dish]

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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

If The Clintons Lose, There Will Be Nothing

Monday, February 11th, 2008
  • John McCain and Barack Obama have massive leads in our triple-Siamese primary. When you attach DC to Maryland and Virginia, our dumb little city almost matters! Almost. [Real Clear Politics]
  • The thing to remember about Democrats is that none of them can win unless they are named Clinton. Then all they do is win. So don’t vote for Obama. Then the Clintons won’t win. [James Wolcott]
  • There might not be enough Bushes to endear WALNUTS! to the GOP base, but they’re giving it all they’ve got. [Naked Politics]
  • For Huck, a distant, distant second place is just like winning. [Wizbang Politics]
  • Paul Krugman wishes Barry Obama would go away so Hillary wouldn’t have to say such mean things to beat him. You’re destroying the party, Barry. [Carpetbagger Report]
  • They might be able to grow a jawbone from your gut, but Andy already has way more jawbone than the world needs. [Baldilocks]
  • How do you win the vote of a 21-year-old superdelegate? Send your daughter to his place with a six pack of Bud and a phone call from Dad to wish him well. [The Plank]

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DAILY BRIEFING

DC Almost Matters This Year

Monday, February 11th, 2008
  • They’ve just been pulling soo many troops out of Iraq that it’s time to take a break for a while. [New York Times]
  • After all those profiles and writes ups, Clinton’s foxy campaign manager gets the axe because, obviously, she’s the problem. [New York Times]
  • McCain needs to get his pander on, something Bush knows quite a bit about. [Washington Post]
  • All 17 people showed up to the Maine caucus, breaking records. [The Hill]
  • Hillary needs to win in places she’s not likely going to win. [Politico]
  • Michelle Obama is the boss. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Mike Huckabee thinks that all the votes should be properly counted and recounted before they go declaring victories for John McCain. [Los Angles Times]

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