Author Archives: Greg Wasserstorm

 

Conference of Lies. Lies!

Everyone in America will die if Democrats are elected president. But, you know. That’s always been true. [Washington Note] Bill Clinton doesn’t want to be the story, but he’s probably going to do it anyway. [The Hill Blog] Read more on Conference of Lies. Lies!…
 

Contract Work Gets Harder Every Year

Mitt “Mittens” Romney’s grip on reality turned out to be a lot stronger than we gave him credit for. And usually our character judgment is so sharp. [Washington Post] Legal torture, illegal torture, who can really keep track of these things? All we know is America must be kept safe. [New York Times] Read more on Contract Work Gets Harder Every Year…
 

Mittens Will Always Keep Us Warm

Barry Hussein will have a good week this week — his horoscope says so. [Wizbang Politics] Hey, remember the Iraq war? Remember those benchmarks? Well, you’re pretty much the only one. [AMERICAblog] Read more on Mittens Will Always Keep Us Warm…
 

When Everyone Wins, America Loses

It’s not democracy unless everybody gets to give an acceptance speech. [New York Times, New York Times, Washington Post, Washington Post, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times] Networks try restraint, and fail (again). [New York Times] Read more on When Everyone Wins, America Loses…
 

Super Snooze Day

If JFK was such a great president, why didn’t he do like a million more wonderful things before he got his brains blasted across the backseat of a convertible in Dallas, huh? [Interesting Times] Read more on Super Snooze Day…
 

She Could Go All The Way

Remember the surplus? Us neither! [Naked Politics] Oh yeah, we vaugely remember living through some kind of political crisis for the past eight fucking years. Way to miss the boat, dude. [The Hill] Read more on She Could Go All The Way…
 

Ken Burns Should Be So Proud

American forces go all willy-nilly into whatever Arab nation they want because, you know, why would Iran or Syria mind a little cross-border excursion? [New York Times] Every American sacrifices and does their part at home to help the war effort abroad. Ha ha ha, just kidding, we’re going to let China pay for this one. [New York Times] Read more on Ken Burns Should Be So Proud…
 

A Good Offense

It’s news when Barry and Hillary fight, but it’s bigger news when they don’t. [LA Times, Washington Post, The Hill] The US couldn’t defend itself if someone (like Russia) were to attack the homeland. WHAT WOULD REAGAN SAY ABOUT THAT? [USA Today] Read more on A Good Offense…
 

Barry Moneybags

Barry Obama tricked the Clintons into attacking him because he knew what it would do for him in South Carolina. Right? [AMERICAblog] Is Mittens going to throw in the towel after his riveting performance in the Air Force One debate last night? Is he, is he? [Balloon Juice] Read more on Barry Moneybags…
 

Obamalot

Asia is a new country that will soon make Mitt Romney its first-ever president. [Wizbang Politics] Obama going negative is like the leaves changing, or the cherry blossoms blooming in springtime. [AMERICAblog] Read more on Obamalot…
 

Count Your Blessings

Attorney General Mukasey finally got around to answering that waterboarding question. [New York Times] Florida yields a two-person field? We only count one. [New York Times] We may not have health care, but pretty soon we’ll all have the best picture quality money can buy. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on Count Your Blessings…
 

Shamnetsy, But For Real This Time

Barry buys ad time in New York. How dare he! [Advertising Age] ALSO HE IS KENNEDY. He just is. [Ben Smith] Bush and Pelosi’s plan is a stimulus for a whole bunch of ballsack. [Balloon Juice] Read more on Shamnetsy, But For Real This Time…
 

Still Talking

Now that you mention it, we are kind of happy we won’t have to listen to Bush give another one of these speeches. [New York Times] Oh, sorry, did you say something? We were busy fantasizing about a young, black president. [New York Times] Read more on Still Talking…
 

Telling You For The Last Time

America to Bush: go home, please. [Carpetbagger Report] It took Mittens a long time to get around to saying it, but today he pointed out that WALNUTS! is a closet Democrat. [AMERICAblog] Read more on Telling You For The Last Time…
 

The State of the Union is Boring

A massive, humiliating defeat for Hillary means no more wild-eyed yelling and screaming from Bill. [New York Times] Obama’s Kennedy endorsement may start a Hatfield-McCoy style family feud that lasts for generations. [New York Times, Washington Post] Read more on The State of the Union is Boring…
 

Every Good Thing Must Come to an End

We’re agreeing with Peggy Noonan more and more these days. [Firedoglake] Among people who aren’t going to win South Carolina, John Edwards isn’t behind as much as before. [Wizbang Politics] Oh, hey, they hate black people in the South. [Polarization] Read more on Every Good Thing Must Come to an End…
 

We Got Your Stimulus Package Right Here

True to its bipartisan roots, the economic stimulus package is good for pretty much nobody. [New York Times, Washington Post] Also, none of the GOP candidates should be allowed to handle the money. And probably not the Democrats either. [The Hill] Read more on We Got Your Stimulus Package Right Here…
 

Being Black, Measuring Drapes and Other Disqualifiers

Apparently there’s at least one crazy thing Billary’s not saying about poor Barry Obama. [Opinionator] But maybe Billary’s tag team smackdown may turn someone somewhere in Barry’s favor. [Election Central] Someone is going to catch Bin Laden but Bush doesn’t know who. [Think Progress] Read more on Being Black, Measuring Drapes and Other Disqualifiers…
 

Holding Their Horses

* This country will not insure sick children no matter the economic situation or political context. It’s simply a matter of principle. [New York Times] * Cheney’s feeling like he doesn’t quiet have enough spying power. [Washington Post] * Bush will discuss four things in his State of the Union speech, and just four. [The Hill] * Congressional Republicans are trying their hardest not to repulse the entire American electorate in an election year. [Roll Call] * Black people might not vote for Barry Obama because they know white people won’t. [Politico] * A jackass gains as a moron exits. [Washington Times] * All the fancy rich elite Illuminati at Davos are pretty much embarrassed for the United States. [IHT] * Which makes sense, considering that poor white Americans can’t even wear their Republican costumes in public these days. [NYT] * Tourists shouldn’t videotape the various Washington landmarks because that’s terrorism. [Washington Post] * Crazy as it seems, tonight’s GOP debate will put Florida in the presidential spotlight. [Sun Sentinel] * If Indiana can stop old people from voting, maybe the Supreme Court can stop all old people from voting. {AP/MSNBC] * Rudy Giuliani’s Florida Strategy really worked: He’s in third place. [Miami Herald] * But all the GOP candidates literally want to beat the shit out of Mitt Romney, because everybody just hates him. [NYT] Read more on Holding Their Horses…
 

Barry’s New Attack Dog is a Pug

U.S. will start handling disasters differently, maybe even by handling them. [New York Times] Bernanke saves Asian economies! [Washington Post] Obama suggests that our economic policy could be structured differently because clearly he has a case of the crazy. [Washington Post] Read more on Barry’s New Attack Dog is a Pug…
 

But the Real News is Heath Ledger

Barry Obama’s blackness will end all war. [The Page] But Newsweek says the war is over. [Think Progress] Is Barry’s massive lead as meaningless as last time? [Political Wire] The Fed is going to dump cheap money on us until we drown in it. [AMERICAblog] Read more on But the Real News is Heath Ledger…
 

Watch Out Boy, She’ll Chew You Up

After 35 years, fetus lovers haven’t learned that standing outside Planned Parenthood with their shrimp-in-cocktail -sauce pictures doesn’t actually stop anybody from taking care of business. [CNN] No more debates. Instead: cage match. [New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times] Read more on Watch Out Boy, She’ll Chew You Up…