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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

When The Other Puppy Drops

Thursday, March 6th, 2008
  • How will the world take Obama seriously if he has to wear water wings when he goes swimming, and drinks his juice from a sippy cup? [The Swamp]
  • Killing puppies is good for America. [Balloon Juice]
  • It’s time for Big Willy to make a comeback, but only so long as he doesn’t say crazy things. [Ben Smith]
  • If everyone who needs it gets medicated, then who will be left to write all the hilarious blogs? [AMERICAblog]
  • Let’s get a good, firm hold on the obvious. [Headline Junky]
  • Harry Reid thinks a fillibuster is like a stabbing. So maybe that’s why the Democrats wouldn’t show any spine in the minority. But what’s their excuse in the majority? [Hot Air]
  • McCain and Bush have been really, really different on tax policy. Only, not. [Media Matters]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Not-Change You Can Believe In

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
  • Did Rush Limbaugh swing Texas for Clinton? Does the pope piss in the woods? [Ben Smith, Reason]
  • Bush’s endorsement “does matter,” just like punk’s not dead. [Naked Politics]
  • Gee, thanks for your helpful words, Mr. President. [Think Progress]
  • Hillary wants a dual ticket, because that way she can be on it. [Daily Intelligencer]
  • Abuses of the PATRIOT Act? In America? [Balloon Juice]
  • McSame as Bush is the McSame as every other political ad. [Horserace]
  • Keith Olbermann calls out Chris Matthews live on teevee! [Media Matters]
  • The Ron Paul Revolution can’t be stopped by things like election results. [Political Radar]

DAILY BRIEFING

The Pain Will Continue

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
  • The story of Hillary Clinton’s comeback takes a backseat to the real news of the night: John McCain finally edged out Mike Huckabee for the GOP nomination. [New York Times, Washington Post]
  • But Mike still feels like a winner. [New York Times]
  • Reporters have many skillful ways of saying the same thing: the horrors of last night pale in comparison to the horrible weeks ahead for Democrats. [Washington Post, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal]
  • Two of our favorite failed presidential candidates get to keep their day jobs. [The Hill]
  • Clinton’s new “all negative, all the time” strategy demonstrates her profound commitment to political change. [Politico, Los Angeles times]
  • Because their last immigration proposal was too extreme to pass, the GOP wants to try a more moderate, forgiving approach this time. Ha ha, just kidding. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Yesterday’s election results have had a far-reaching impact. [Washington Times]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Warming Up

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
  • Barry Obama has someone going to the Rezko trail, taking notes. Not that he’s got anything to worry about it or anything. [Real Clear Politics]
  • The newly elected Rep from the Florida 103rd district hasn’t been on the floor since he was having butt sex with a Congressman there 15 years ago. Just kidding, but he was a page. [Naked Politics]
  • Hillary continues her totally subtle and not-at-all heavy handed reminders to voters that Barry is a black man. [AMERICAblog]
  • Hills keeps talking about this “long battle” she’s “just getting warmed up” for, but doesn’t she know that Texas and Ohio are today? [New York Times]
  • Since Republicans think John McCain is too liberal they’re going to vote for Barry! [Openers]
  • Supressing voter turnout is the new attack ad. [Ben Smith]
  • Aw, look, this is really cute. This blogger thinks there’s some kind of chance in hell that the John McCain will be president. [Political Insider]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

The Neocons Were Right About At Least Two Things

Monday, March 3rd, 2008
  • Well look who hates double talk all of a sudden? Everybody. [The Stump]
  • Nobody loved the gays more than Jesus… until Barry Obama, that is. [CNS News]
  • Maybe all those things Richard Perle said about “the world” were right. [Newsweek]
  • The Barry Backlash is beginning. [JustOneMinute]
  • Bill Kristol apparently gives pretty good campaign advice. [The Fix]
  • Or maybe it’s already taken its toll. [Real Clear Politics]
  • Obama reminds Rush Limbaugh fans of a cartoon monkey. [Political Radar]
  • Mike Huckabee has no plan. [Political Radar]
  • Andrew Sullivan thinks about letting some other people talk for a change. [Daily Dish]

DAILY BRIEFING

Obama: Bush League

Monday, March 3rd, 2008
  • Experience and Judgment go head to head on Tuesday in Ohio and Texas, and also two tiny Northeastern states. [New York Times, New York Times, Politico]
  • Ohio, a state practiced in killing the nation’s electoral buzz, stands poised to do it again in the upcoming primary. [Washington Times]
  • The question is, will Hillary Clinton aid and abet Ohio by winning again and refusing to drop out of the presidential race? [International Herald Tribune]
  • American University conducted a massive nationwide survey of 128 college students and determined that most of them will vote for Barack Obama. [Washington Post]
  • Israel was in and out of Gaza over the weekend. Now there’s a country that knows how to handle an occupation. [Haaretz]
  • You mean people aren’t falling all over themselves to give money to crazy old John McCain? [Politico]
  • It’s generally considered bad form to run an obituary early. [Los Angeles Times]
  • A poorly timed trial may be a drag for Barry Obama. [Los Angeles Times]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Natural Born Citizens

Friday, February 29th, 2008
  • What kind of president would Obama be if he never used the threat of terrorism to scare up votes? [Election Central]
  • John McCain is really, really old. [The Corner]
  • Obamaniacs can be really, really sensitive. [No More Mister Nice Blog]
  • Hillary tries to set the Tuesday bar for Barry, sounds totally crazy in the process. [Marc Ambinder]
  • The Senate does a quick fix to let their pal WALNUTS! be president. [The Trail]
  • President George W. Bush (you may have forgotten about him) doesn’t think U.S. presidents should have their picture taken with tyrants. [ThinkProgress]
  • What conservatism can do for America’s middle class. [Right Wing News]

DAILY BRIEFING

Happy Leap Day!

Friday, February 29th, 2008
  • With the Tennessee “Hussein” thing, Barry Obama gets a taste of the GOP’s class act. [New York Times]
  • Bush criticizes Democratic presidential candidates, but he doesn’t use their names possibly because he doesn’t know them. [New York Times]
  • Bill Clinton hasn’t freaked out on the campaign trail for like a record number of days now. [Washington Post]
  • Democrats, being the crusading reformers that they are, are taking money out of presidential politics. [Washington Post]
  • The best thing about the invention of the internets is that we can keep these stupid political ads around forever. [Politico]
  • Iraqis decide that “Chemical Ali” will be hanged, but do not set a timetable because that will embolden the enemy. (It will be within 30 days.) [Los Angeles Times]
  • Apparently, America is fine with having a president who is 10,000 years old. [Washington Times]
  • Just because the Pentagon asked so nicely, Turkey takes some troops out of Iraq. But just some. [Financial Times]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

The Sequel Is Like The Original, Only Better

Thursday, February 28th, 2008
  • Hillary Clinton knows how to break records also. [Ben Smith]
  • Oh, but hey, she’s still going to quit on Friday. [Wizbang Politics]
  • It’s been far too long since we’ve seen new pictures of naked Iraqi men being beaten and tortured by American soldiers. Thanks for addressing our needs, America! [Wired]
  • WALNUTS! knows some lobbyists. [Firedoglake]
  • Like a true presidential candidate, Barry doesn’t mean the things he says. [Real Clear Politics]
  • Florida finds a use for its voting machines. [Naked Politics]
  • John McCain hates the gays, you know. [AMERICAblog]
  • Meanwhile, Obama buys the gayest ads ever. [Advocate]

DAILY BRIEFING

Covered, Kissed, Dead

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
  • Former Attorney General John Ashcroft will pay a visit to his old pals on the House Judiciary Committee and lie about how his firm won a no-bid contract. It will be a beautiful and heartfelt reunion. [New York Times]
  • A lapse in the wiretapping law leaves phone companies wondering who will cover their asses now. [New York Times]
  • From flushing toilets to too-short ropes, the mortgage crisis and prospective bailout has spawned a number of bad metaphors. And the Bush Administration is confident that helping anyone will ultimately hurt everyone, so best to help no one so that everyone wins. [Washington Post]
  • Style columnist Tom Shales, clearly stung by recent suggestions that the press has been too soft on Barack Obama, retaliates by openly lavishing praise on Obama’s latest debate performance. [Washington Post]
  • Robert Byrd, who has served in the Senate since the end of the American Civil War, has been admitted to Walter Reed hospital for “observation”. They want to make sure he’s still alive. [The Hill]
  • Barry Obama’s coattails will be longer than Hillary’s because girls don’t wear coats, obviously. [Politico]
  • John Boehner gives his fellow Republicans a stern talking-to about fundraising, and acknowledges their “asses” are “dead.” [Politico]
  • John McCain is … winning? [Los Angeles Times]
  • Well, well well. Look what party suddenly thinks Mexicans are so important again. [Washington Times]

DAILY BRIEFING

Spoiler No More

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
  • Between its gerrymandered districts, byzantine voting rules, massive size, and tremendous diversity of wierdos, maybe Texas should secede and quit confusing the rest of us. [New York Times]
  • In the end, the surge amounts to a net gain of a whopping 8,000 troops. [New York Times]
  • John McCain may wish to be president of the Untited States, but he’s already King of the Land of Obvious Observations. [New York Times]
  • Barack Obama is complex you see. Have you heard that he gives speeches, and that they are good? But is it possible he is just a hollow husk of a man inside? Experts disagree. [Washington Post]
  • Dana Milbank sticks a fork in Hillary. [Washington Post]
  • The GOP is blocking a bid to rid baseball of human growth hormone and we are so grateful that they are doing “the people’s work” of arguing about sports. [The Hill]
  • With the government spending 60% of its money on guns and 20% on medicine, not a whole lot is left over to buy beer and pay the rent. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Oh, hey. Rick Renzi says he’s innocent. [Roll Call]
  • Alas, conservatives! If only putting something into print made it true, then Ralph Nader really could deliver the Republicans the presidency in 2008. [Washington Times]