Yesterday our Glorious Leader Barack Obama (peace be upon him) took to the White House press room for a briefing with the inchoate brain stems that masquerade as the national media. We didn’t watch this because we have some pride and self-respect (also, we were drunk), but we understand that B. Barry Bamz first talked […]

Ah, the weekend. Time for yr Wonkette to get away from the computer and relax. Maybe drink some beers with friends or go hiking in the California sun or spark up a nice fat bowl of medicinal marijuana – we suffer from a chronic health condition our doctor has diagnosed as paralyzing existential anxiety with […]

Fellas, do you ever feel as if there are just too many women in your life who will not stop with the yapping about stuff like that hussy Taylor Swift and liberals and “The Big Bang Theory” and liberals and how much ladies love shooting their guns and how terrible liberals are? Do these conversations […]

Imagine you are Josh Romney. A couple of years ago your daddy ran for a big job, and that job was President of the United States. In the course of running for this job, quite a few people said mean things about Josh’s daddy, because that’s how political campaigns work. One of those people was […]

Another day, another shitwit with a gun going off his nut and very publicly shooting a bunch of holes in a bunch of innocent unarmed people somewhere in America. Okay, this actually happens every day, but Sunday’s shooting in Kansas City is getting the media attention so let’s talk about it for a minute. The […]

(Updated! See end of post) We all had a good laugh the other day over the trials and travails of the Kissing Congressman, Rep. Vance McAllister (R-Tonsil Hockey), and his sorry-not-sorry apology to his constituents, his wife, his kids, God, social decency, Saints fans, the endangered Louisiana wetlands and who knows who else over his […]

Late last week some actual good news about violent crime came out of the great city of Chicago: the homicide rate for the first three months of the year fell to the lowest level of any first quarter since 1958. There were six fewer homicides than in the first quarter of 2013, and 55 fewer […]

Even one last blast of wintry weather could not keep down the indomitable New York spirit as the city’s denizens looked forward to spring, so much so that they were practically dancing in the streets in anticipation. Or perhaps they were dancing because many of them finally had access to affordable and comprehensive health insurance. […]

Some weeks a mere column cannot contain all the voices that echo through the vast Grand Guignol inside her skull. So Sister Peggy Noonan of the Sisters of Delirium Tremens must take to the pages of the blog that Mr. Murdoch has so graciously provided her at the Wall Street Journal’s website to entertain us […]

Are you ready for some baseball? Opening Day is upon us, which means the Gray Lady, the Paper of Record, will spend the next six months recording every up and down (mostly down) in the annual tatbir undertaken by Yankees and Mets fans. On Opening Day, though, hope springs eternal, even in the Bronx and […]

Comedian Patton Oswalt did battle on Twitter today against Salon and everyone who has ever looked at it over its coverage of the Stephen Colbert incident, where Stephen Colbert said a joke about the Redskins, and then the show tweeted the punch line which was basically like “Mi So Horny” or something. Then lots of […]

Sweet eight-armed Ganesh, who is this horrible screeching banshee who looks as if she’s about to unhinge her jaw and swallow Chris Hayes whole like a python snacking on an Acehnese tribesman?* Glad you asked! That is one Jennifer Stefano of Americans for Prosperity, an apparently minor-league wingnut whose existence up to now we have […]

Doge knows we could all use some Nice Time right now, and could there be anything better than watching Michelle Obama coo over some pandas at a reserve in China? No, there could not. So here is Her Highness and Most Exalted Queen of All Americans, along with her mother and daughters, on a tour […]

Sweet merciful Yahweh, why is losing loser and oligarchic sex toy Mitt Romney still allowed in front of a working television camera? Is it not horrible enough that we endured that smug mien and faux patrician bearing for all of 2012? We have only just recently recovered from the opium habit we developed over a […]

Greetings, great Wonkespora, and welcome to another edition of That’s Our Katie!, our semi-regular feature where we take a look at the lies and sloppy journalism spewed by wingnut dingbat Katie Pavlich in her never-ending quest to make us actually long for the reasonable and fact-based writing of Phyllis Schlafly. This is an awful series […]