Evan Hurst

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Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette. He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

This Tale Of A Snail Finding Another Snail To Fuck Then Promptly Dying Will Warm Your Black Heart

We are not writing one more political post today and you can't make us.

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Donald Trump, Besides Absolutely Everything?

Somebody missed their shift at the adult daycare AGAIN.

Trump Thinks It’s SO FUNNY How Mike Pence Wants To Hang All The Gays, Like LOL!

To be fair, maybe Mike Pence said he likes his gays HUNG.

Donald Trump Jr. Has Some Opinions About Sexual Predators Who Aren’t His Dad!

Thanks for your important contributions to this conversation, Junior.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is COMING TO KISS YOUR FACE!

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Hi, Maggie Haberman! New NYT Social Media Guidelines! Did You Read Them, Maggie Haberman? DID YOU?

A little fan-mail, from yr Wonkette to Maggie Haberman.

Maxine Waters Went To Work Yesterday. Ben Carson Was There. UGH.

Wherein Maxine Waters tricks a sleeping Ben Carson into disagreeing with Donald Trump.

Trump Knows When He Had Lunch With Rex Tillerson, And It Was Potato

Hello America, your president MAY HAVE lost his fucking mind.

Queen Elizabeth Will See Donald Trump IN HELL

Sounds like President Dumbass might not get that state visit with the Queen!

Pity Mike Pence’s Wife Didn’t Stop Harvey Weinstein From Being A Rapey Piece Of Shit

A love letter to all the men out there blaming anybody but HARVEY WEINSTEIN for HARVEY WEINSTEIN'S SEX CRIMES.

Do Republicans Hate The Trump Pee Hooker Dossier Because It’s TOO TRUE?

DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP!

Dumb Old President Loser-Dick Hates Everything, Wishes It Was DEAD!

Sad old goat is probably locked in his room, blaring Elliott Smith to drown out all the TEARS. Now it is your OPEN THREAD!

Trump Slut Devin Nunes Rubbing Dick All Over Russia Probe Again

Liddle' Devin is shitting all over the House's Trump-Russia investigation again.

Trump-Russia Dumbass Carter Page Saying The Quiet Parts Loud Again, Bless His Stupid Heart

He just KNOWS the Deep State is going to force him to commit perjury before the Senate Intel Committee!

So THIS Is Why Rex Tillerson Called Trump A ‘Fucking Moron’

It all makes sense now! Just kidding, it always made sense.