Evan Hurst

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Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette. He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

Trump’s. Nuts. Roasting. On. An Open. Fire. A Christmas Music Post!

Fiona Apple made a Christmas song for Donald Trump!

Trump Tower: A Luxurious Address With Secret Service Protection And A Target On Its Back!

What, you don't want to live there? There's totally a Starbucks in the lobby.

Loser N.C. Gov Pat McCrory Might Get To Sniff Your Junk In Trump Administration

Failing upward, is what this is called.

Kellyanne Conway Will Run Twitter Lynch Mob, For Donald Trump, America, And So Much $$$!

Conway will fulfill her dreams, by directing an online Twitter trolling horde, for Donald Trump!
This is actually an adult doggie now. Good dog, Champ!

Joe Biden Says He’s Running In 2020, And LOL OK STOP TEASING!

It could happen! But let's also start talking about the new generation of badass Democrat leaders, too.

Hey Democrats, Here’s How To Grow A Pair And Save The Supreme Court

Longshot? TOTALLY. BUT IT COULD HAPPEN!

Donald Trump And Al Gore Will Heroically Save World From Global Warming Sky Fires! Hooray!

WHO WANTS TO BE A HERO PRESIDENT? DONALD TRUMP WANTS TO BE A HERO PRESIDENT?

Ann Coulter And Sarah Palin Feeling BETRAYED! By Sexxxy Boyfriend Donald Trump

Did Donald Trump use idiots like Coulter and Palin just to attain power, and really doesn't actually care about them? MAYBE POSSIBLY!

How Bad Is Donald Trump Pissing In China’s Corn Flakes Over Taiwan? THIS MANY BAD.

It's a YOOGE FREAKING DEAL, and not in a good way.

Your Weekly Top Ten Has Had It Up To Here With Kellyanne Conway

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!
The Sarah Palin Farknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

Sarah Palin Just Yelled ‘Hoohah!’ And Now Our Week Is Complete

Sarah Palin thinks a common euphemism for vagina is also the Marines' battle cry.

America Heals Wounds By Agreeing That CNN’s Jeff Zucker Totally Sucks

Did CNN's coverage of the 2016 election suck, or did it REALLY suck?

Donald Trump’s Mandate Just Got Bigger, Longer, Even More Uncut

Trump's margin in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania is now fewer than 80,000 VOTES, FOR REAL, OH MY GOD.

YOU HAVE HURT KELLYANNE CONWAY’S FEELINGS!

It's UNFAIR AND MEAN to point out that she ran a racist campaign, even though it's totally true.

Ask Wonkette: Can Melon Trump Indeed Sue For Rose Words About Her Son?

Wonkette helpfully answers readers' questions, helpfully.
Celing Putin is watching you masturbate

Senate Democrats Tell Obama To SPILL IT DUDE On Russian Interference In Election

Democrats on the Senate Intelligence Committee would like Obama to de-classify everything we know, and DO IT NOW.