Evan Hurst

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Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette. He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Full Of Wonkette Toddler Singing Movie Songs, Like She Does

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT THIS SECOND!

Farewell, Steve Bannon, You Malevolent Shit Monster! May You Stub Your Big Toe On Your Way Out!

Stinky jizz-encrusted Nazi trashfire Steve Bannon doesn't have to go home, but he can't stay in the White House.

President Dipshit Sends Barcelona Thoughts, Prayers, Racist Email Forwards About Pigs’ Blood

Hey you guys, Trump's pig blood story is complete bullshit. Can you believe it?

Meet Trump Idiot ‘Brad.’ Brad Just Got Humilated On MSNBC Mansplaining ‘Economy.’

But he's a real estate guy who puts up shopping centers! Doesn't that make him S-M-R-T?

Chuck C. Johnson, Julian Assange, And Dana Rohrabacher Walk Into A Bar, Because WHAT EVEN THE FUCK?

Everything about this story makes our head hurt.
True fact: Personal grooming regimen strictly dictated by Andrew Breitbart himself

It’s All Fun And Games Until Steve Bannon Drunk-Dials You With His Butt

Hey, did everybody hear Steve Bannon thinks white supremacists are losers? WHOA IF TRUE!

Sit Down, Shut Up, And Listen To Heather Heyer’s Mama Right Now

'They tried to kill my child to shut her up. Well, guess what, you just magnified her.'

Fox News Lady Wins O’Reilly’s Peabody For Excellence In Smirking Between Two Crying Black People

Is this the worst thing Fox News has aired all week? SO HARD TO SAY!

Fox News’s Jesse Watters: America’s Not Racist, But I SURE AM!

The entire history of Fox News, somehow distilled into 24 AMAZING SECONDS.

Oh Go Fuck Yourself With A Tiki Torch, Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson knows who the real racists are, and it's the Left, who are racist against racists.

Donald Trump Literally Just Defended Charlottesville Nazis Because Fuck It We’re Done Here

OH WOW HOLY SHIT DONALD TRUMP WHITE SUPREMACIST MOTHERFUCKIN' SAY WHAT?
blood meridian 2015

Uh Oh, Trump’s Gone And Pissed Off The Walmart Now!

Look at all these CEOs telling Donald Trump to fuck off after his pitiful response to Charlottesville!

Trump Nazi Sebastian Gorka’s Asshole Wife Murdered Funding For Ex-Nazi Therapy Group, Isn’t That Funny?

And people wonder why things like Charlottesville are happening.

Trump-Russia Investigation EXPOSED AS HOAX, Because Let This One Wingnut Explain You Why

This is just really good investigative thinkin' right here.

Oh God, Another ‘HOLY CRAP, WHAT A SHITTY TRUMP POLL’ Post? You Bet Your Ass!

He literally must be so tired of winning.

Shame Hillary Clinton Didn’t Try To Warn Us About Trump’s Basket Of Deplorable Nazi Fuck Trash

We apologize in advance to any who are triggered by the mention of Hillary Clinton's name.