Evan Hurst

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Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette. He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

Life is so hard when you are a jailed member of the Bundy criminal syndicate family! Our top post this week, because this is your weekly top ten thingamahoozit post (on a holiday weekend!),...
blood meridian 2015

Walmart doesn't have the stones to say where boys without stones or girls with them should drop their kids off at the pool.

Texas Republican Congresshick Louie Gohmert has some thoughts to share about gays, outer space, Matt Damon, and traditional het’rosexual romance!

Gather round, ye Wonkers, for we have another TKO smackdown to share with you!
Typical.

Maybe Kenyan Muslim Marxist Gay Obama wants to live 1,096 feet from a mosque so he can hop, skip and jump to prayers WITH HIS PEOPLE!

Just one more thing on which insane rage monkey Michelle Malkin and poised, calm, lovely and boob-positive Wonkette part ways.

Oh look, a whole posse of bigot states are joining together to say 'EW TRANS PEOPLE'!

You come listen to all these songs RIGHT NOW, because Vice President Beyoncé said so.
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Did Hillary do something wrong? Yeah. Did everybody else do something wrong too? Yeah. IS EVERYBODY SORRY FOR WHAT THEY DID?
The crazy candidate lady Mary Lou is on the left, next to Ted Cruz's insane father.

Crazy lady Mary Lou Bruner loses her Texas state school board runoff. Now the kids will never learn THE REAL TRUTH.
I can has nuclear launch codes now?

Salon murdered our brains with one million words about disembeddedness and Trump steaks. We are dead now. We are a ghost.

If there's one thing we can all agree on at Wonkette, it's that the only thing worse than a lady is a cusser. Make that a cussing lady and we run for the hills! So...

White jerk bitches to school principal about baby receiving diploma for murdered teen mom. Principal is having NONE OF IT Y'ALL.

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