Evan Hurst

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Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette. He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

Wonkette’s Weekly Top Ten Just LOVES Mueller Time

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Here Is Adam Rippon SING-SKATING To Rihanna, Because Of Course He Is

Oh look at me, I'm Adam Rippon, I'm good at stuff.

ROBERT MUELLER GONNA STICK THESE INDICTMENTS UP RUSSIA’S ASS NOW

SHIT IS GETTING SO REAL, Y'ALL.

Looks Like Robert Mueller Has A New Little Buddy, And It Is Rick Gates!

Big news in the Mueller investigation!

There Is Another Gay One In The Olympics And He Says Trump And Pence Can Eat Yellow Snow Too

Meet Gus Kenworthy! He is your favorite, just like Adam Rippon is your favorite.

Stormy Daniels Got A Blue Dress Too! (OR IS IT GOLD?)

This'll knock Obama's sperm off the front pages.

Boy Howdy, Trump Is NOT Gonna Like This Reince Priebus Interview

Dispatches from the shitshow-iest shitshow ever to shit all over the White House!

Trump’s Spy Chiefs: Russia’s Going To Fuck Us In 2018. Trump: FAAAAAAAAAART.

Everything's fine, America. Juuuuuuuuuust fine.

Michael Cohen Paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 Of His Own Lunch Moneys, Because That’s What Friends Are For

Do you believe Michael Cohen's story? Vote YES or HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sean Hannity Swallows Obama’s Fake Sperm Then Spits It Back Up: A Play In Three Very Stupid Acts

Yes, now we are doing conspiracy theories about Obama's sperm.

Chris Wray Says ACTUALLY Sarah Huckabee Sanders And John Kelly Are Total Fucking Liars Who Lie

The White House can't even keep track of its own lies anymore.
This is my "what did I tell you?" face

Dianne Feinstein Gonna Need You To Hold Her Beer While She Beats Chuck Grassley’s Ass

Dianne Feinstein is real fuckin' tired of Chuck Grassley and Lindsey Graham obstructing justice for Trump in the Russia investigation.

Is Rachel Brand Just Totally Selfish, Or Is She A Fucking Coward Too?

Justice Department is HAAAAAARD, YOU GUYS.