Evan Hurst

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Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette. He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.
Yes, this really exists

Which Of These Roy Moore Pastors Should Babysit Your Little Girl?

SPOILER: You really don't want any of these men babysitting your little girl.

Happy Thanksgiving, Donald Trump! Ready For Robert Mueller To Stuff Your Turkey?

It's probably best to let him believe the Mueller investigation is almost over.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is NOT A HORSE OR A GOOSE OR A CUPCAKE, OK?

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

SKYPENIS!

SKYPENIS!

Kayla Moore All ‘Who Cares If Roy Molested Kids? LET’S TALK ABOUT FAGS!’

Also BREAKING NEWS: Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey is proudly voting for the kid-toucher!

They Wanted ALL YOUR RUSSIAN EMAILS, Jared Kushner, You Slimy Fuck

Oh, you meant THOSE Russian emails?

Oh Shut Up About Al Franken, President Pussburglar

Weird, the sexual predator in the White House still doesn't have anything to say about accused kid toucher Roy Moore.

The Intercept Knows Breaking Up With Julian Assange Is For The Best, But It Still Hurts :(

Pretty sure Glenn Greenwald is still seeing Assange on the side, though.

Carter Page Clearly Just Going For Insanity Defense Now

Let's have a CAPTION CONTEST.

Looks Like Roy Moore Wanted To Molest An Adult For Once (Sure, Jan, ‘Allegedly’)

Hello, Roy Moore's 6th and 7th accusers. Tell us your stories!

Meet Roy Moore Lawyer ‘Trenton.’ Trenton Just Chewed His Own Dick Off On MSNBC. Oh, Trenton!

What in the ACTUAL fuck did we just watch?

Roy Moore Being Persecuted For Loving Jesus, Not Because He Wanted To Fuck Kids

God did say His people would be hated for loving him too much.
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Explains Roy Moore Only Wanted To Fuck Kids Because He Was A Democrat

This has to be rock bottom. It has to be, right?