Evan Hurst

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Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette. He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

Marco Rubio Condemning Chechnya’s Torture Of Gay Men Is Actually Really Fucking Impressive

Marco Rubio did a good thing, everyone!

Uh Oh, *Even Jason Chaffetz* Acting Like Michael Flynn’s In Deep Trump Russia Shit Now!

Is Michael Flynn about to be thrown under the bus? MAYBE.

Guess State Department Doesn’t Even Want Us All To Join Mar-a-Lago Anymore :(

No emoluments. No emoluments. YOU'RE the emoluments.

Donald Trump Learns About Delicious Space Pee

Donald Trump had a very good day today.

The 83 Most Embarrassing Moments In Donald Trump’s AP Interview

This is the leader of the world's sole superpower, everyone. TAKE A BOW.

Now *Senate* Intelligence Committee Dicking Around On Trump-Russia. Awesome.

We thought they were the grown-ups. We really thought so.

Your Weekly Top Ten Rates Trump’s First 100 Days As PUNY AND WEAK AND SAD!

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Badass Sally Yates Ready To Fuck Trump Up In Front Of House Intel Committee!

Hooray, our hero returns! Also, it's your OPEN THREAD!

Alex Jones Gets PIIIIIIISSED When You Call His New Wife A Massage Hooker

More dispatches from the Alex Jones custody trial!
Oh, just go fuck yourself.

Who Do You Root For In Julian Assange V. Jeff Sessions? None Of Them Katie!

Jeff Sessions wants to arrest Julian Assange. That's good, we think! But on the other hand ...

Jason Chaffetz Sure He’s As Clean As A Whistle, Because Of All These Enemas (He Said That)

How could Jason Chaffetz POSSIBLY have a secret scandal, when there are so many people cleaning out his butt every day?

Jason Chaffetz Might Quit Congress Early To Go To Fox News Or Jail

More wild speculation into Chaffetz's abrupt departure!

Sarah Palin’s Posse Grabs White House By Pussy, And It Is Classy As Fuque!

Donald Trump only invites the classiest people over for dinner.

Everybody Hates Trump, Even Though He Made BIG BOMBS GO BOOM. Loser!

But Donald Trump thought doing bombs would make him presidential. :(