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Erik Jay

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Erik Jay is currently unemployed, but has a history of managing various motels and quitting customer service jobs on day 1. He still feels accomplished graduating from a continuation high school in 1989.

Mob Offers Free Club Sammich To White Supremacists

Tinley Park IL – Tinley Park is a small community that has a way of making anyone who visits feel right at home. It’s a place that allows people to know one another, shake hands with an old friend...

Priest Battles Homosexuality One 16-Year-Old At A Time

In a time when gay satan has plagued the churches with rampant homosexual battles, a breath of fresh air has been given to those on the side of good. The righteous have found their cleaner and he knows what...

George Zimmerman’s View To A Pill

When Trayvon Martin was killed, it looked really bad for George Zimmerman until it was discovered that he was fighting the savage effects of a marijuana-fueled person of color. Little did Zimmerman know that the young man he was...

Bristol Palin Absolutely Not Sexing Anyone, Says Bristol Palin

Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about 'putting a ring on it' vs 'trial marriage' (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol...

Egypt Bringing New Meaning To Term ‘Cold Fish’ (UPDATED!)

The mysterious land of Egypt has always been known for three things: Pyramids, the Sphinx and sex with dead people. Now husbands who have been married for years with the same wife may be able to enjoy a continuing...

Louisiana Foster Kids Saved From Horror of Loving Homes

BATON ROUGE, LA - A local House Committee in Baton Rouge saved the last little pocket of American innocence on Tuesday. A proposal that would have allowed gay couples and straight unmarried couples and other ungodless folk (Wiccans?) to...

Tampa Strip Clubs To Be Disappointed When Hordes of Straight GOPers Fail To Come

Tampa, Fla – Churches, bathroom stalls and NAMBLA can take a well-deserved five. The GOP circus is coming to Tampa and the city's finer purveyor of tittay are hauling them out and boosting them up in preparation! There is...

We Won’t have Chuck Colson To Kick Around Anymore

Watergate warrior Chuck Colson died. He was 80 years old. Colson was most famous for going above and beyond the law for disgraced President Richard "Dick" Nixon, thus becoming one of America’s first humiliated and imprisoned American heroes. (He...

Jeb ‘The Smart One’ Bush Gladdens Democrat Hearts With Vague ‘Maybe’ To Veep Question

West Palm Beach, Fla – Y’all ready to see if George H.W. Bush’s testes can ruin the world (again)? Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush says he might prove it by considering a shot at the veep spot, if asked...

Racist Gallery Available For People Who Can’t Afford To Visit Alabama

Big Rapids, MI –- Jim Crow is back, baby! Ferris State University has recently opened the Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia and it is chock-full of beautifully restored treasures of hatred. The museum has the nation's largest public...

Bishop In Search Of Hitler and Stalin Says Obama Good Enough Match

Peoria, IL - Bishop Daniel Jenky was conducting his Sunday message to a small group of Catholic followers in his modest countryside church, nestled in Peoria, Illinois. Bishop Jenky really knows how to deliver a powerful message. And just...

Romney Firm Too Busy Firing People For Not Being Mormon To Create Those Jobs He Keeps Talking About

What kind of underwear do you have on? Are they magical? No? Outta here! Bain Capital, a job creating powerhouse established by America’s number one job creator Mitt Romney, is being sued by a group of people that claim...

Florida Stops Dancing Thugs From Destroying Town

Weston, Florida – Floridians can breathe a sigh of relief and unlock their doors at night. There is no more need for police officers, and every senior citizen is now safe without the threat of being eaten by rap...

Mitt Romney Accidentally Gives Details On Something, Somewhere, To Someone

PALM BEACH, Fla. – Willard Romney took a moment out of his daily dog and pony show to deliver some real ideas a la Romney. This wasn’t a typical Romnification of bullshit jib jab. These were actual ideas coming...

Sorry We Missed Your Birthday, Ann Romney!

Ann 'Quintomom' Romney, an unemployed housewife with five children, has recently gained recognition due to her stressed domestic situation. With a husband on the road almost seven days a week, she doesn’t have a chance to have any ‘Ann...

Friendly Republicans Offer To Help Obama Out By Looking Into This Whole Hooker Thing For Him

A heated exchange between a prostitute and a Secret Service agent has led to an embarrassing situation for President Obama to deal with. It turns out eleven U.S. Secret Service agents and five military service members are under investigation...