WND Idiot Erik Rush Calls For Death To All Muslims, Finds Subsequent Death Threats Lazy And Boring
You know what is apparently hard to understand? Conservative “sarcasm.” Hilarious, poorly timed, weak ass sarcasm, especially when it isn’t. As Boston was being terrorized and Dok Zoom was live blogging for us all on Monday, the social networks were ablaze with heartbroken exclamations of horror, shock, grief and sadness, and because this is America [...]
Your Morning Nice Time: Missouri University Has Gay Kids’ Backs
Can we please talk about something good in the world today, wonketteers? How about a good old blame the gays, but for bringing on a little happy cry for once? As always, the road to gay hell is paved with good intentions and vice versa, so it’s no surprise that this feel-good happy rainbow unicorn [...]
Mitch McConnell’s Crack Oppo Researchers Reveal: Ashley Judd Is A Democrat!
There are some secret tapes of Mitch McConnell only talking, don’t be gross — and it appears the man is worse than we ever thought, in the how is he even able to dress himself much less be a Senator? way. When Ashley Judd said she was thinking hard about a possible run for Mitch’s [...]
Great Britain Bursts Into Song Over Death Of Margaret Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher is now dead, a historical occurrence that many Britons have been celebrating in song for quite some time. Did you also know that many Britons did not care for this woman, this dear old fruit bat Margaret Thatcher? It’s quite an amazing phenomenon — apparently quite a large number of her fellow Limeys [...]
Liberty University Allows Guns For Jesus In Classrooms, Kissing Still Of The Devil
Happy Friday! Today in Who Would Jesus Shoot? news, it’s Liberty University! Bringing guns to school isn’t just for terrible tragedies anymore! Stand your grades, followers of Falwell, because this “University” says carrying concealed weapons to your Creationism 101 class is perfectly A-OKAY! Liberty University, the largest religion-affiliated U.S. school, is loosening restrictions for carrying [...]
FAA Lets Exxon Decide Whether Aircraft Can Photograph Oil Spill, You Know, For Safety
This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Blogging Chair for Oil Spills and Whatnot. Today in “just who in the hell is running this place?” Wonkette presents: Exxon. Ya know, usually our corporate overlords do a swell job with this Potemkin democracy illusion – the country’s farce in Washington with the “Senate” and [...]
Journey To The Center Of The Derp: Ted Nugent Tries To Mash All Wingnut Buttons At Once
Ted Nugent. Yes Ted Nugent and do not start yelling lovely commenters, because maybe he says this crazy shit all of the time, but this time he has joined up for an interview with a radio talking guy who is just as wingnutted and wrong as him, and they hit every single rile-up-a-redneck-talking point there [...]
The Iraq War – 20 Friedman Unit Edition
As we have all been reminded repeatedly, tragically and even sickeningly, the 10th Anniversary of the Iraq War was this week, and in his latest column, New York Times mustache-support unit and cultural symbol of vague idiocy Thomas Friedman joined the ranks of pundits using the occasion to either excuse their support for the war [...]
Obama’s Sweet Ride Breaks Down In Israel Because The Wingnuts Needed A New Metaphor
Happy Israel Day! Yes! The President is in the Holy Land for the first time ever you guys, and it is so exciting and full of love and Scientology-style billion-year-contracts of eternal and forever alliances, and oh my God, what is wrong with your sweet ride, Pres O? “We experienced mechanical trouble with one of [...]
Sarah Palin Wants You To Un-Commercialize Christmas By Buying Her Stupid Christmas Book
When the irrelevant get desperate, its time to fight straw-men, or things we put straws in, and what mythical enemy is more mythical than The War On Christmas! In a maniacal effort to appeal to the panic-stricken, anxiety-riddled, look-at-my-faith lording, self-pitying element of stupid white people upset about the blah President, Sarah Palin is now [...]
Radio Lady Wants To Abolish Homosexuality
Well, great – a lady compared a thing to slavery! And it wasn’t abortion this time! Abortion is slavery a lot with some people, you ever notice that? So, what was it now you ask? Yes, yes, it was the homosexuals, of course. They are now apparently “ripping apart people’s lives and families” and we [...]
Massachusetts Parents Whining: Letters To Parents Real Problem With Childhood Obesity
It’s a simple fact – one out of every three kids in America is overweight or obese. OBESE. Children. This is a very real problem! So of course, a couple of Massachusetts legislators want to shut down the program that allows schools to measure the kids’ body mass index and send a very respectful letter [...]
Very Sane Tea Party Man Warns Of Obama’s Army Of Blacks
Ever wonder what is really behind all this “they deserve a vote, let’s all stop killing each other, no more crazy guns everywhere all the time” nonsense push for “rational” gun policies in America? Ever thought it might all just be a ploy to give the President an excuse to begin the violent race wars [...]
Let’s All Blame The Gays For The Pope’s Retirement
Oh boy, here we go! This week may have started out all “slow-newsy-snoozey” but never fear, wonketteers! The fabulous ruby-slippered Pope’s retirement has become embroiled in a scandal described with words like “seething hotbed of intrigue and infighting.” What? Oh yes! Let the hunt for all double entendres possible commence! A potentially explosive report has [...]
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