* Chuck Hagel can’t say sorry for the things that he’s done, but at least for a little while, he had some fun. [Wizbang Politics]

* Fred Thompson hasn’t started stealing Mitt Romney’s staffers, yet. [On Call]

* Boris Yeltsin used to get crunked and ham up bilateral conferences on the state of war torn regions. [The Swamp]

* Flag painted pistolas are so hot right now. [Radosh]

* The honorable lies of Alberto Gonzales. [TPM Muckraker]

* Hippy dipshits in the corn cars make your booze cost more. [Passport]

* Mortal minds cannot fully grasp all that is Robert Byrd. [Radar]

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This little bit of batshit crazy is a week old, but it was lost in the Virginia Tech maelstrom. I share it with you now.

History will be made today when Copperas Cove resident Bill Thomas and his wife, Georgia, present President George W. Bush with a Purple Heart at the Oval Office. MORE »

A few weeks back Barack Obama was making his way around a post-rally scrum when he got a question from a 9/11 conspiracy theorist truth advocate. He handled it adroitly. This brings us to the subject of John Kerry.
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It’s not that we don’t appreciate all of you nice people who keep sending us the Laurie David/Sheryl Crow-Karl Rove story, hours after we posted it. We do! It just seems like David and Crow might not have been the kind-hearted ingenues they suggested they were in their Huffington post. Byron York of National Review got his own report of the confrontation.

Immediately after Dowd’s introduction, the witness says, David began lecturing Rove about global warming. This administration has done nothing on the issue, she told Rove. We face a crisis. The time to act is now. This administration has done nothing… MORE »

Two things you can say about North Dakota - it’s cold and it’s a haven from the coming robot apocalypse.

North Dakota made it illegal to force people to insert microchips into their bodies. MORE »

Congresswoman Juanita Millender-McDonald died yesterday, less than a week after her cancer was made public. Speaker Pelosi gave her a press release sendoff:

As the first African American woman to chair a committee in Congress, Juanita Millender-McDonald was a trailblazer, always advocating for the full participation of all Americans in the success and prosperity of our country.

But Millender-McDonald wasn’t the first African American woman to chair a committee. That was Yvonne Brathwaite Burke.
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Let this video of Code Pink members protesting Sen. John McCain be the final statement on BrianWilsongate.

And let this comment in the YouTube thread be the final, final statement. Finally.
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In the spirit of Rich Little’s ripped-from-the-headlines-of-a-Smithsonian-exhbit routine, here’s how the Washington Post reported the last Little-hosted White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It was 1984, the year “Jump” came out and a hot blond woman smashed the telescreen beaming Hillary Clinton’s message to her army of morlocks.

Little’s impersonations included a mock press conference with Reagan plus some walk-on parts by Jimmy Stewart, Jimmy Carter, Henry Kissinger, Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon. MORE »

David All notices that Rudy Giuliani’s MySpace page, uniquely among the 2008 candidates, is friends only. Rudy needs to check his e-mail, make sure you’re not his son Andrew, and then approve you in order for you to check out the limitless sweetness of JoinRudy2008.

And another thing. The last time “Rudy” signed in to myspace was on April 9. Think about all of the friend requests that are just sitting there, lonely in the cue. MORE »

* Things Joe Biden blames on Republicans: “Iraq, Venezuela, Katrina, what’s gone down at Virginia Tech, Darfur, Imus.” [Hotair]

* Vermont Senate takes full advantage of 4/20 holiday, votes to call on actual Senate to impeach you know who. [MoJo]

* Morgan Freeman and Barry Hussein are both reach-around guys. [Men's Vogue]

* A pair of administration flunkies get married for protection from prosecution and boring pasty sex. [The Hill]

* When even boy wonder Adam Putnam thinks you should resign - you should punch him in the face, and then resign. [Think Progress]

* Ted Stevens is mad pissed that his pork-laden mind didn’t think of a Russia-Alaska subway first. [Spiegel]

* Rich Little is actually still alive, it’s just his career that died. [CC Insider]

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* Lyrid meteor shower tonight. [DCist]
* Become an unstoppable force in internet dating when all of Arlington gets wi-fi. [What's Up Arlington]
* FBI exercise. [Gallery Place Living]
* “A few of my boys had feelers they could use to find the best reeds to soak, and soak we did. Many times we’d gather at M’s house, pull out the tongs, soak a bunch of reeds, and play Goldeneye on Nintendo 64.” [Yeah, so i'm...]
* Music is Bulletproof II at the Argonaut. [frozen Tropics]