Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

Genius Texas Hunters Shoot Each Other, Blame Invisible Mexicans, As One Does. Your Open Thread!

Somebody needs to build a wall in Texas. Around idiot paranoid gun-humpers.

Trump Shitcans Aides For Blasphemies Against The Dear Leader

Some Trump cabinet aides are losing their jobs for disloyalty before their bosses even get moved into the West Wing.

Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen Has No Idea If He Did The Thing He Says He Did, Russia Who What Now?

You thought the Sweden story was weird? Get a load of this one.

Whatever Happened In Sweden, Donald Trump Pretty Sure They Had It Coming

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?

Deleted Comments: Kellyanne Conway Is Hot

Are Trump supporters becoming less articulate? Probably just a sampling quirk this week.

Kinder, Gentler, Definitely Sane Trump Holds Press Conference To Tell Press To Fuck Right Off

Donald Trump had a press conference, and it was definitely a thing.

Overworked Donald Trump Plans Nice, Relaxing Campaign Rally In Florida This Weekend

Oh, good. A Trump rally. Been a while.

FBI Archives Releasing Files On Trumps Not Renting To Blacks. Some Timing, Huh?

Oh, look! The FBI Records Vault would like to remind you of that time the Trumps were sued for racial discrimination.

Jesus Idiot Knows Hillary Murdered Mike Flynn, Because He Knew About The Pizza Sex

Just another day in the devil-worshipping Luciferian demon-possessed salt mines.

Trump Labor Pick Andy Pudzer Outsources Nomination To Robot

Looks like Trump may not get the grifty jerk he wanted to be Secretary of Labor. Where will he ever find another grifty jerk?

House Teabaggers Want To Murder All Of Obamacare RIGHT NOW, Or Die Tryin’!

Extremism in the defense of kicking people off insurance for pre-existing conditions is probably a vice, really.

Trump Campaign Was Talking To Russian Intelligence Before The Election. Um, *SURPRISE*!!1!

Do you feel like we're all living in a bad spy novel now? One where a main character just shouts incoherently?

Senate Voting On Letting Severely Mentally Ill Folks Buy Guns, For That Well-Regulated Militia

Did anyone actually run on the 'more guns for the severely mentally ill' ticket?

How Are ‘Pro-Life’ Republicans Screwing Disabled Kids Now? A VERY MAD STORY

You may want to take steps to keep from hurling your computer or mobile device across the room before you read this one.