Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

Baltimore Takes Down Confederate Monuments In Single Night, Like A Boss

Baltimore took out the trash last night. Nicely done, Baltimore!

New CBO Report: Nobody Knew Killing Healthcare Was So Complicated!

Here's an impressive thing: Obamacare is actually hard to kill without actually repealing it.

Bye-Bye, Teen Preggo Prevention Programs! Hello, Bumper Crop Of Future Trump Brides!

President Pussygrabber to teens: Do as I say, not as I do. Also, you free Friday, honey?

Oklahoma Patriot Arrested Trying To Bomb A Bank, To Save America From American Government

Another Patriot fails to bring about the new American Revolution.
No Disaster Preparedness Funds for you!

MIND BLOWN: Alex Jones Reveals Soup Nazi Only Character On ‘Seinfeld’ Who Was Not Nazi

Alex Jones will never convert for the jokes.

Lets Do History! 90 Years Ago, Donald Trump’s Dad Was Arrested At A KKK Riot.

Oh look. History done rhymed again.

Dinesh D’Souza Saves America From Liberal Nazis! By Rearranging Books In A Costco

No Nazi! No Nazi! YOU'RE the Nazi!
We knew we'd heard that slogan before!

President Of America Donald Trump Gives Worse Statement On Nazis Than Mike Huckabee Does

Donald Trump just can't seem to say who might have been responsible for the murder in Charlottesville. Maybe radical Islam.

Nice Time! Refugee Rescue Group Comes To Aid Of Sea-Nazis After Their Hitlerboat Breaks Down

Jus' doin' good works for the Lord who loves all the little babies, including these jackass 'identitarian' ones. Also: your OPEN THREAD!
Some rights void where prohibited

Trump DOJ Will Save Us From People Voting Infrequently By Not Letting Them Vote At All

Donald Trump needs to restrict voting to make sure Hillary Clinton never gets any more votes in 2016.

CNN Fires Nazi Joke Jeffrey Lord Over Nazi Joke

He keeps using that word. We do not think it means what he thinks it means.

Mike Huckabee Just Figures Kim Jong Un Hates Black Ladies Same Way He Does

When it comes to comedy, Mike Huckabee is definitely a former governor of Arkansas.

Half Of Republicans Just Fine With It If Trump Cancels 2020 Election (Because Mexicans)

Guys, it's not that Rs are prone to fascism. It's that they're OK with a little fascism to protect America from scary Democrats stealing elections. Big difference!