Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).
Take Me To Your Butter Cow

It's your Iowa Caucus open thread, Wonkers! After all the prolonged teasing, flirting with billionaires, straining to get a surge in the polls, and lots and lots of sucking, it's time for the voters...
Notice also the squeaky-toy sound effect at this exact moment

Unbelievable: the entire Jeb Bush campaign in a nutshell, via @SpideyScouting. pic.twitter.com/Zg7uJIL9oK — John Whitehouse (@existentialfish) January 29, 2016 From John Whitehouse of Media Matters comes this brief video snippet that says everything anyone could hope...
That thing will never fly. Center of gravity is all out of whack.

After all the campaigning and stump speeches and far fewer corndog-eating photos than we would have hoped for, the Big Day is finally here: Happy Birthday, Pauly Shore! Also, it's the Iowa Caucus, a...
He had problems with her persona

In an enormously surprising turn of events, a woman fired by Donald Trump's Iowa campaign organization has filed a gender discrimination complaint against the Trump campaign, accusing it of paying men more than women for...
In Twilight We Trust. All others pay Bits

Quite a strange selection of strangeness from the old Deleted Comments queue this week, from a "skeptic" who thinks maybe LaVoy Finicum was gunned down for no reason at all, to a guy who...
Portrait of the artist as a seditious old fart

Robert "LaVoy" Finicum, the Oregon nature reserve occupier known as "Tarp Man" who was shot to death last week after trying to escape arrest and reaching for a gun, died as he lived: A...
You don't want to make NdGT angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry

The weekend is here, and it's time once again to enjoy all the nerding you can handle. Like Neil deGrasse Tyson putting an uppity flat-earther rapper fella in his place, which is solidly on...
See? Running scared, all right.

Better call the House Select Committee on Benghazi back into session, because with just days to go before the Iowa caucuses, there's finally some huge shocking news about Hillary Clinton and all the Top...
Smug and Smugger

Dear Christ help us, Tucker Carlson has written a think-piece for Politico in which he sermonizes to "Washington Republicans" -- you know, the bad, Establishment kind, not the honest decent folk who read the...

While one group of dangerous thugs bickered Thursday night over who would kill terrorists the hardest, the FBI held a press conference in Burns, Oregon, aimed at disproving rumors that LaVoy Finicum, the Arizona...
Something something liberty, something something Constitution

Residents of Flint, Michigan, can relax and stop worrying about the lead in their water, because for some reason a local militia group showed up at Flint City Hall Sunday with a trailer full...

Chris Christie took a moment from his busy campaign schedule to pretend he gave a damn about the ginormous snowstorm that hit the East Coast over the weekend. He left New Hampshire for a...
Nature is so beautiful. Can't wait to cut it all down!

In a touching story that proves patriotism is a family value, Oregon Public Broadcasting confirmed Friday there are at least two young children staying at the Bundy Militia Insurge-O-Ree in eastern Oregon, where militants...
Sure it's poison. But think of the savings!

So here's a huge surprise, at least if you've never seen how an outrageously cynical political scandal unfolds. Way back in 2012, the emergency managers Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder appointed to reorganize the finances...
Princess Sunbutt Will Rise Again!

Oh, what a lovely crop of stupid we have harvested for you this week, ye Wonkers. There's some new stuff, as well as a few geniuses who suddenly showed up to re-fight a post...
I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots, or only five?

Donald Trump is pretty darned happy about his polling, and his incredibly yooge support from everyone. He is easily the most-beloved figure in American politics since Ronald Delano Lincoln, and he knows for a...

Wonkette Primary! Vote!


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