Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

James O’Keefe DID TOO Find A Evil Liberal Genius, Shut Up DOKTOR ZOOM!

Saddest. Conspiracy theory. Ever.

Texas Prisoners Donated To Hurricane Harvey Relief With Strength Of 50 Trumps

It's kind of a sad Nice Time.

Donald Trump Promises To Make Truckers Rich With Tax Cuts (If They Are Already Millionaires)

If they take enough Alex Jones Brand Trucker Speed, they will probably believe him!

James O’Keefe Goes Undercover at New York Times, Finds This Asshole

Why is James O'Keefe attacking this self-important confabulator? He should be recruiting him!

Donald Trump: We Must Destroy Obamacare To Save Henry Kissinger

Arguing that we can't make a war criminal pay more for insurance isn't really very persuasive.

Roy Moore’s Christian Crimer Son Caught Christian Criming WITH A DEFENSELESS ANIMAL

That boy ain't right. Neither is his daddy.

Las Vegas Police Might As Well Let Alex Jones Conduct Mass Shooting Investigation

No but seriously Las Vegas coppers, what the hell?
It's not even the rust that'll get you, though

Michigan’s Top Medical Official Charged With Poison-Watering People To Death, IS STILL TOP MEDICAL OFFICIAL

Dr. Eden Wells was pretty unhelpful when she threatened to take away Flint's public health money if they kept investigating the outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease she knew about!

Betsy DeVos Loves The Poorly Educating!

'Virtual charters,' you say? And 'DeVos has investments in them,' you say? Well at least she pays for her own planes.
Do we really need an 'environment' anyway?

Trump EPA Will Make You Eat Coal, And You Will Like It

Look, no one's actually USING the atmosphere, are they?
My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Take Away Our Liberty

Deleted Comments: A Visit From The Gunsplanation Man!

Oh dear. Someone used a Gun Lover Worship Word wrong!
Free kitten with every five mass shootings

Oregon Judges Gonna Take All Your Freedom/Penises/Guns Away, MWAHAHAHAHAHA! NICE TIME!

Oregon judges will have the ability to take guns away from people deemed a threat to themselves or others. How is that even fair? It's your OPEN THREAD!
Catch you with my death bag. Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song

Which Of These Las Vegas Shooting Conspiracy Theories Is Most Stupidest? Potato

The Truth is Out There. It certainly isn't in any of these conspiracy theories.

BUT BREITBART’S, MILO’S, AND STEVE BANNON’S EMAILS

Please sue us Breitbart.