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Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

Vogon Poetry To Dominate Trump Inauguration. You Have Been Warned

What's the difference between a cub scout meeting and the Trump Inaugural? The cub scouts have adult supervision.

Cheesed-Off English Gal Explains To Donald Trump Who ‘Ivanka’ Is

What do you do when Donald Trump thinks you're his hot daughter?
He has special colors for each of the Two Corinthians

Trump To Be Sworn In Using Very Own Childhood Bible, Crayons

The Bible is such a yooge, classy book. Read it? Why would he read it? He lives it, and if you say otherwise, you're a loser.
Bravely taking to his feet / He beat a very brave retreat

Obamacare Supporters Scare Colorado Republican Away, Hold Gross ‘Cough-In’ At Trump Restaurant

Kicking 20 million Americans off health insurance? Sickening.
South Carolina, September 2015. Lest We Forget.

Trump Inaugural Committee Has Perfectly Reasonable Explanation For Purchase Of 5,300 RealDolls

He can count the size of the crowd on his huge hands.
The plan is this guy. He'll be everyone's doctor.

Wise, Kind And Handsome Donald Trump Promises ‘Health Insurance For Everybody’

You won't believe how completely Trump has figured this out. All the pieces are coming together. No, you can't peek.

Deleted Comments: Didn’t You Know Trump Won, So All Politics Is Now Over?

Some of you people just don't understand how democracy works: there's an election, someone wins, THE END.
Totally real files. Our top men have looked at them. Top. Men.

Trump Peeing On ‘Ethics’ Office Like Calvin Pees On Chevys And/Or Fords

Donald Trump has solved his conflict of interest problem. How? By saying there's no problem!

Is It Bad For Philippines’s President To Kill 6,000 People? Trump’s SecState Just Doesn’t Know!

Human rights? We don't recall Trump saying we had to think about those anymore.

Idaho Wingnut Rep Punished For Being Too Awesome, Also Maybe Psycho

Idaho rightwingers are a special kind of crazy.

Ben Carson Is Idiot All Over His Own Confirmation Hearings

Nobody lives in public housing anymore -- it's too crowded.

House Republicans Will Never Stop Taking Down Cop Painting That Hurts Their Feelings

Grab your Culture Guns, folks. We've got a war over a painting going on in Congress.