Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.
We can hardly wait for the scene where she learns shit from Shinola.

Melania Trump lifted from Michelle Obama's 2008 convention speech. Now let's imagine Michelle Obama had cribbed from Laura Bush.
Didn't we settle this already? Silly us -- we thought that was the case with the Civil War, too!

The Republican Platform Committee has adopted a position on eliminating federal ownership of public lands that could have been written by deadbeat rancher Cliven Bundy. Who knows, maybe it was!

Donald Trump and Mike Pence sat down for an interview on "60 Minutes," and Trump even let Pence talk, a little bit.

Gavin Long, the suspect in the killings of three Louisiana cops, believed the law didn't apply to him, because 'freedom.'
What's Pony Hillary drinking? A Bloody Mare-y, of course.

Our Deleted Comments column attempts to fathom the idea that Donald Trump is a pacifist.

Alabama's Richard Shelby has been in the U.S. Senate since the Reagan administration. That seems about long enough, don't you think?
OK, so maybe there's a little problem there

The Trump-Pence campaign has pulled the plug on its hilariously inept logo. Bye, stupid logo! Bye!
It's actually really irritating, no matter how it's packaged

There's something rather odd about the Trump/Pence 2016 logo. Can you spot it?
My Sharia more

An Oklahoma legislator wants to spend taxpayer money to determine how big a threat radical Islamic terrorists pose to the Sooner State. 'Not Much.' There, now he can refund the state treasury.
Funny, most people forget Nixon was talking about his taxes when he said that.

Donald Trump and two of his kids have been named as "material witnesses" in a huge tax-avoidance lawsuit. Who'd have thunk it?
Add your own Darth Vader "Noooooo" SFX

Donald Trump has named Mike Pence as his running mate. Pour out a 40 and a bag of Doritos for all the Newt and Chris Christie jokes that might have been.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton both chatted with international terrorism expert Bill O'Reilly after Thursday's terrorist attack in France. One of them actually knows something about fighting terrorism.
Your polling data, M'sieur Trump

Would you believe the Trump campaign might not follow campaign finance laws exactly to the letter? Yes, we are astonished at these allegations, too.
If you immediately knew it was a Checker Marathon airport limo you may be a nerd

Let's run down the list of speakers at the 2016 Republican National Convention, before they can run US down.
Looks like he has some experience denying relationships

Armstrong Williams, Ben Carson's business manager and longtime advisor, has been accused of sexual harassment by a former employee. Of course we have the icky alleged details!
He's a regular Donald X

Donald Trump is well equipped to empathize with black Americans, because he too has experienced discrimination from establishment Republicans.

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