Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

Tim Allen, Richard Spencer, And Nazis In The News! (No, Not Steve Bannon. This Time.)

Some people need to study up a bit. It's your OPEN THREAD

Even President Trump’s Schedule Is A Filthy Lie

Because their lips are moving.

Devin Nunes Accidentally Told Truth About Trump White House Investigation. That’s Not Like Him At All!

A meaningful slip? Or just a slip of the tongue? Let's assume the worst!

Donald Trump’s Management Tips: It’s All The Hunger Games And Shit

Nothing to worry about here, comrade. Move along.

Deleted Comments: The Canadian SCOTUS Will Surely Hear Of This Outrage!

Yeah, we're just digging this hole deeper.
He is so S-M-R-T and dreamy

Paul Ryan Pledged ‘Kappa Delta Let Poor People Die’ In College

It's good to have a dream. Unless it's an evil dream. Then that's just evil.

So Sean Hannity Maybe Pointed A Gun At Juan Williams. Like You Haven’t!

It's all fake, except for the part where you should NEVER point a gun at anyone.

Trump Budget Dude Fails To See How ‘Starving’ Is A Bad Thing

These millionaires aren't going to tax cut THEMSELVES you know!

Satanic Temple Now Attacking Another Sacred American Institution: Spanking!

'Not hitting kids' is clearly a satanic idea. It's your OPEN THREAD!

Stupidest Man On Internet: Obama Made Hawaii Judge Kill The Muslim Ban. Impeach?

If Jim Hoft had worked the 9/11 investigation, he'd have gotten Charles Lindbergh convicted.

Dutch Voters Kick Racist Geert Wilders Right In The Netherlands

Back to being a minor bobblehead in European politics.

Dumb Idiot Paul Ryan Can’t Even Pass His Own Stupid Obamacare Repeal

It's easy: Just repeal the ACA while keeping the ACA in place.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Is 84 Today, Remains Badass: Your Open Thread!

Exercise your right to party.

This Woman Is An Asshole

It's a lot easier to cure cancer with a natural diet if you don't have cancer in the first place.