Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.
Welcome to the dark side, Mr. Bannon. Enjoy your cookies.

Steve Bannon Tells Trump To Keep ‘Shit List’ Of GOP Enemies. Worked Awesome For Nixon!

Of course, *Nixon* released his tax returns...

Rep. Explains We Have To Pass Obamacare Repeal To See What’s In It. Deja Vu All Over Again!

It's just like 2009 all over again, except in Bizarro-World. Goodbye!

GOP Senator Really Sorry He Made Fun Of Your Boob Cancer

We haven't heard any women clamoring to be spared the expense of covering prostate cancer. Wonder why that is?

Is Trump Grifting The Secret Service? Gonna Just Assume ‘Yes’

Saving so much money by making other people pick up the tab.

Dems Stop Being Pussies For Five Minutes, Promise To Dickslap This Neil Gorsuch Douche

Can't very well NOT oppose this corporate tool.

Paul Ryan, Donald Trump Promise If You Like Your Cancer, You Can Keep It

Letting insurance companies *not cover* your cancer isn't 'fun' for you? Well boo hoo.

Idaho Rep. Calls Cops On Terrifying Old People Comin’ By To Say Hi

Some of those old ladies can really move.
Everyone uses this pic eventually

We’re Not Sending Our Best People: Spring Break Jerkwads Chant ‘Build The Wall!’ In Mexico

Oh American college students, never change. We mean always. Always change.
OK, maybe not a room at the State Department...

Sec Of State Tillerson Ditches NATO To Go Smoke Behind Gym With China And Putin

Trump too busy partying with China and Russia to hang out with NATO? Didn't see that coming.

South Carolina Lawmakers Prepping Very Own Christian Survivalist Paradise. Bless Their Hearts.

The worst thing about surviving the End Times will be other survivalists.

Trump’s Budget Guy Knows Only Way To Get Universal Health Care Is To Jail Everyone

Out of the mouths of evil shitweasels...

Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings Begin For Man Who Shouldn’t Be There At All

In an alternate universe, Merrick Garland politely refuses to say how he'll vote on a challenge to President Clinton's expansion of Obamacare.