Doktor Zoom

5256 POSTS 0 COMMENTS
Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.
Jane, you igneous slut

Deleted Comments: We Have No Idea What These People Are Talking About, But Boy Are They Angry

These kids today with their crazy slang!

Sovereign Citizens Sue Trump For 350 BILLION DOLLARS, Wonkette Roots Against Both

More Soveriegn Citizen goofiness. And your OPEN THREAD

House Electrocutes TrumpCare The 13th, Stabs It In Face, Drowns It. FOR NOW.

Rs will keep at this as long as they hold the House, even if it looks like The Final Chapter.

Nice ‘Alt-Right’ Couple Went To Milo Protest To Attack ‘Snowflakes,’ Shot One

Nothing like a night of the ol' ultraviolence for today's modern 'alt-right' couples.

Dear North Korea: Please Remember Our President Says Lots Of Crazy Bullshit

A sincere call for international understanding.

OH NO ROB QUIST SAW NAKED PEOPLE

Let's all get drunk and go nayyyyy-kid, and dance by the light of the moon!

FCC Can’t Wait To Do For Internet What Trumpcare Will Do For Healthcare

One easy thing about this next fight over Net Neutrality: whatever Trump's position is, you can rest assured it's dead wrong.

E.T. Phones VOICE Hotline

We could outsource the call center to Yoyodyne Industries.

Senate’s Big White House North Korea Briefing Lamer Than Field Trip To Box Factory

At least the senators could make jokes about how in German, a bus ride is a 'Busfarht.'

America’s Stopped Making Sense, The President’s Something Wild, And We Miss Jonathan Demme

Much more to him than just fava beans and a nice chianti, ff-f-f-f-f-fff. It's your Open Thread!

Betsy DeVos Teaches Thousands Of Poor And Black Kids Who’s Boss! (Trigger Warning For SOME BULLSHIT)

If one were cynical, one might think it's a blatant attempt to deny education assistance to poor kids.
Expendable. Can't even ride a 4-wheeler on that thing!

Trump: Put Your Head Between Your Knees And Kiss Those ‘National Monuments’ Goodbye!

Beautiful vistas, like doctor visits, are for people who can afford them.

Son Of The Obamacare Repeal That Would Not Die Part 3: The Stupiding

You know what really Conquered The World? SINGLE PAYER.

Genius Republican Thinks Waiters Aren’t Worth Wasting Medicine On

If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.

Alex Jones Sued By Greek Yogurt

Now if we can convince Alex Jones the barbecue sauce is out to get him...