Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition). He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

Those whimsical playful race-baiters of the 'alt-right' have made their own version of the already terrible 'We Didn't Start the Fire.' It has no beat and you can't dance to it.
Real picture. Only the words are shooped.

When slime-dripping Nixon pal Roger Stone says you've gone too far, you may have gone too far.
They like representation! They really like representation!

The NLRB says grad students are workers with rights and stuff. This could set back plans for a new rock-climbing wall in the student rec center.
Maybe Trump can explain why he had it coming.

Just another fatal shooting of a motorist, except this time it was a deaf guy. Move along.
Quick, say something about a rigged system again.

Donald Trump jacked up the rent his campaign pays him as soon as the donations started rolling in. Who says he's not a business genius?

Corey Lewandowski explained why Donald Trump's appeals to African-Americans always happen in front of white audiences: Black areas are too dangerous.
I know what you're thinking. Did he win six electoral votes or only five?

Donald Trump has a plan to stop crime, and it all depends on One Tough Cop. Wish Trump had gotten his name.
Tell you what

Eric Trump seems to think Syrian refugees have something to do with flat wages. Then again, he thinks his dad is a great man.
'Some' sure say a lot of stupid shit, don't they?

A Republican nominee for Congress accuses her Democratic opponent, incumbent Tulsi Gabbard, of being a devil worshipper because Gabbard is Hindu. She also hates Japanese-Americans. She seems nice.
There's no war on women. Maybe some casualties, but no war.

After massive cuts to women's clinics aimed at putting Planned Parenthood out of business, Texas now has the highest maternal death rate in the developed world. Yay! Still better than Sudan!
It starts with a single toke. Before you know it, you're unfreezing Iranian assets following international negotiations

Sen. Mark Kirk says Barack Obama is the 'drug dealer in chief' for releasing frozen Iranian assets. He doesn't do metaphors very good.
Financial model remarkably similar to Trump's

Michele Bachmann is advising Donald Trump on foreign policy. How's that for a kick in the pants?
I have heard the derpmaids singing, each to each

Hey, Dinesh D'Souza saw our review of his dumb movie! He didn't like it much.
Head shots: They let you know who's running, but don't make for very funny jokes. Darn.

Who'd have guessed that North Carolina may be a key state in Democrats' hopes of retaking the Senate? We're just as surprised as you!

Donald Trump went to Baton Rouge to look at the floodwaters, help unload a truck, and sign some baseball caps. Everything's better!
Oh, one more. How about 'I'd like that in used, nonsequential $100 bills'?

Paul Manafort had resigned from Donald Trump's presidential campaign; we bet everyone's all broken up about that.

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