David Koch Won’t Make Sweet Abusive Love To NYC Public Television Any More
Gosh, we’re pretty sure no one saw this coming! As federal money has become a smaller portion of its overall funding, public broadcasting has become increasingly reliant on private donors. A lot of those donors are “viewers like you,” giving a few bucks to get a totebag and a sense of having done the right [...]
Tenn Rep. Stephen Fincher Pocketed $9 Million in Ag Subsidies, Says Jesus Hates Food Stamps
So in our story yesterday on the Congressional debate over just how deeply Jesus wants food stamps to be cut, we missed a tiny detail that is probably worth mentioning. One of the special flowers seeking to slash the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, aka food stamps, was Tennessee Bible-humper Stephen Fincher, who argued against feeding [...]
Atheists Accept Georgia Governor’s Kind Offer To Place Literature ‘From All Groups’ In State Campgrounds
It seems that someone in the Georgia Department of Natural Resources, which runs the state’s parks, decided that if Bibles are good enough for motel rooms, then sure, why not distribute them in the cabins in state parks, too? But then Ed Buckner, the former head of American Atheists, went camping and found a Bible [...]
Sundays With The Christianists: A Biology Textbook That Explains Science Is Mostly Atheists Making Things Up
You know what’s compelling about creationists? They are awfully good at making incredulity seem like science: “Evolution is like believing that a tornado in a junkyard could build a 747″ and so on. Which means that we’re in for one last look at our tenth-grade science textbook, Biology for Christian Schools, by William S. “Stop [...]
Bryan Fischer: Teh Gheys Can’t Be Scouts Because Scout Oath Says No Weaklings
Sorry, Homosexual America, but Bryan Fischer is thinking about You People again. By golly, it’s almost as if Bryan Fischer can’t think of many things other than gay people. This time, the mouthpiece for the American Patriarchy Association is having kittens over the possibility that the Boy Scouts of America may vote to allow sodomites [...]
New Trendy Thing: Local Pols Smoking Crack Like It’s 1999
It took a while, sure, but the Marion Berry copycats are suddenly coming out in droves! (They are just really really slow copycats because of their drug-induced torpor.) That is, if two counts as “droves,” and we figure fuck it, because that’s easily enough examples for a New York Times trend piece. So here’s the [...]
Reddit Being So Mean To Oppressed White Nationalists
Hey, Reddit, we know you like being all free-speechy over there, and that you took forever to close down forums like r/creepshots and then winked and nodded when it re-emerged as “candid fashion police” (haha, close-up pictures of boobs and asses, only with the pretense of mocking the fashion sense of the unsuspecting, non-consenting women [...]
Tennessee State Sen. Wreaks Horrific Revenge On Traffic Cam That Nabbed Him Speeding
You may recall how, back in April, Tennessee state Sen. Jon Lundberg bestowed upon himself a resolution declaring Tennessee state Sen. Jon Lundberg the kindest bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being in the history of EVER. This week, Sen. Lundberg, recognizing that he’ll never match his confrere Stacy Campfield in the sheer asshattery needed to [...]
Pacific Northwest Wonkettonians: Get Your (Unofficial) Drinky Thing On In Seattle, June 1!
Hey there, Pacific Northwest and maybe even British Columbian Wonkeetteers, and whatever sea lions ain’t busy eating all the salmon at the Bonneville Dam, mark your colanders for Saturday June 1, when we will gather at The Blarney Stone in beautiful downtown Seattle at 7 in the PM. We will sing union songs and pee [...]
Latest Factory Farm Byproduct: Exploding Foamy Pigdoots
Today, Mother Jones brings us news of yet another exciting environmental development: the enormous lagoons of manure that are the inevitable result of large scale hog farms are home to some wondrous chemical reactions, resulting in a dangerous, highly combustible mess (LUNCH WARNING!): starting in about 2009, in the pits that capture manure under factory-scale [...]
Butthurt Christians Oppressed By Sports Thing That Never Happened
You know what’s outrageous? The way that Christians are constantly being oppressed in this country! Like for instance how a high school track team in Texas had its win taken away and was disqualified from going to the state championship, all because the winning runner in the 4X100 meter relay, Christian athlete Derrick Hayes, pointed [...]
Gap & Wal-Mart To Bangladesh Garment Workers: Go Die In A Fire, LOL
Since “competition” and “efficiency” and “unit cost” are key to success in international trade and to maintaining the prosperous lifestyle we all enjoy in today’s modern America of today, it’s not too big a surprise that U.S. retailers might balk at anything that would make their costs go up. That’s just the Free Market, right? [...]
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