Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).
What? It's a flower is all

A Michigan substitute teacher has been fired for saying the word "vagina" out loud in an art classroom while discussing the imagery of Georgia O'Keeffe's paintings of flowers, under a school policy requiring instructors...
Scary Monsters then, Scary Monsters now

A top fundraiser for Sen. John McCain was arrested Tuesday in a Phoenix meth lab bust -- or at least, according to the very careful phrasing in the Arizona Republic, Emily Pitha is a...

In a novel bit of legal reasoning, an Oklahoma state appeals court has decided that under Oklahoma law, oral sex with a person who's completely unconscious isn't actually a crime. They're not unsympathetic to...

In Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five, there's a lovely Kilgore Trout story-within-a-story called "The Gospel From Outer Space." An alien came to Earth, studied Christianity very carefully, and concluded that the true message of the Gospels...
Yeah, we just used this. But it fits.

Maine Gov. Paul LePage, not a man given to patience, reason, or indeed any known habits of civilized humans, abruptly stormed out of a dedication ceremony at the University of Maine at Farmington Tuesday...
Gaul is supposed to be a big deal, but it's nothing. Very disappointing. Terrible hotels.

Now that Donald Trump has declared himself the Republican Nominee, High Pooh-Bah, and All-Father of the World (Dilute! Dilute!), it's time for him to start Acting Presidential, so he gave a Very Serious Foreign...
did someone need the hydrangeas watered?

We decided to watch part of Tuesday's election coverage on Fox News last night, and in the middle of all the ads for prescription pills that will give you boners and make your bowels...
I'm out of order? This whole COUNTRY is out of order!

Oh goody, it looks like the defense team for malodorous wildlife refuge terrorist Ammon Bundy is taking its cues from the squirrelly legal theories of the defendant, which should make the coming trial no...
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was...

Donald Trump won all the primaries Tuesday, and while he still hasn't clinched the Republican nomination, he's tired of waiting, so he proclaimed himself the winner already and got on with the important business...
Not very realistic -- no ISIS infiltrator with them?

One of the great joys of campaign season is that magic moment when the really stupid campaign ads start dropping. And here's a real beauty, a veritable Plan Nine From Outer Space of political...

A Pennsylvania appeals court thinks Bill Cosby's a really funny guy, and laughed out of court his argument that he couldn't be prosecuted in a sexual assault case. Cosby had claimed he was immune...
12. Years. Old.

The city of Cleveland has settled a wrongful death lawsuit in the police shooting of 12-year-old Tamir Rice for $6 million, so everything is OK now we guess. Tamir was shot dead by officer...
Revisionism: You're Doing it Wrong

So the Austin Independent School Board decided, after getting feedback from parents and the community at large, to change the name of "Robert E. Lee Elementary School," because as you may have noticed, not...
God has a cruel sense of humor

The internet is a wonderful thing. It brings us amusing My Little Pony memes, cat videos, and GIFs of people falling off stuff, pow, right on their bottoms. And porn, of course. So it...
Strange, we keep finding reasons to use this

Mississippi came perilously close to entering the 20th Century last week (The 21st? Not even close!) as a conference committee considered a bill that would add domestic violence to the acceptable grounds for divorce...

As everyone knows, the Bunditarian Patriot Militia Jamborees of 2014 and 2016 were all about an important principle, namely, the "return" of federal land to "We The People," because the feds are all about...

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