Texas Rep. Michael Burgess: Ban Abortion, Because Fetuses Can’t Stop Masturbating
Golly, it’s been, what, a whole bunch of hours since someone on the right said something incredibly stupid about abortion, so we guess this is right on schedule: Texas Congressman Michael Burgess (R-Like We Had To Say “R”) has a whole new reason to ban abortion at 20 weeks, and maybe earlier: masturbating fetuses. Specifically, [...]
Tonight! The Wonk Your Brains Out Orgy & World Tour Is Stormin’ Norman, Oklahoma!
Attention Wonklahomans! The 2013 Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest-Southwest Orgy and World Tour is on its exciting “Homeward Bound: The Quickening” leg (also known as the “Hey, does this Prius smell funny to you?” leg), and is swinging back through the Sooner State tonight! As part of an exclusive two-day side tour of cities whose [...]
Edward Snowden Has A Little Chat With The World
Hero/Traitor/Leakey Man Edward Snowden had a heart-to-heart talk with the internet on Monday, via Glenn Greenwald and The Guardian. We considered liveblooging it, but decided that liveblogging someone else’s liveblog would be just a little more meta than would be healthy. Still, for a bit over 90 minutes, Snowden answered some 18 out of several bejillion [...]
Tonight: Lawrence, Kansas Is Ground Zero For The Wonk Your Brains Out Orgy & World Tour!
Hey, Wonkansanites! The 2013 Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest-Southwest Orgy and World Tour is thundering into your fine state like… like… like two road-ragey ladies in a Prius, we think! And tonight is the night that they will “drop the bomb” on Lawrence, Kansas, a joke that we are 100% certain you guys have not [...]
New Pope Blesses Bikers & Anti-Abortion Activists In Well-Thought-Out Combo Mass
Sometimes we think New Pope is just trolling us. Like this weekend, when Pope Frankie folded a blessing of Harley Davidson enthusiasts – it’s the company’s 110th anniversary — into a Vatican mass commemorating the Church’s 1995 “Evangelium Vitae” encyclical that laid out official doctrine on abortion, euthanasia, and end of life decisions. As TalkingPointsMemo [...]
Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Wonder Why God Let Pagans Get Here First
Greetings, Wonkademics! So glad you could roll up for our magical history tour! This week, we continue our look at two textbooks for homeschoolers and Christian schools, the 8th-grade text from A Beka Book, America: Land I Love, and Bob Jones University Press’s backpack-burster for 11th/12th graders, United States History for Christian Schools. This time [...]
Wonk Your Brains Out Orgy & Tour Tries Midwestern Nice! Madison Tonight, Minneapolis Saturday!
OK, it’s your turn, Wonkconsin and Wonkesota! The Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest-Southwest Orgy and World Tour is in your neck of the woods! Tonight, Friday June 14, 6 p.m.: Madison, Wisconsin. (Can someone invite Scott Walker? Or the Tank Riot guys?) Harmony, 2201 Atwood Ave., Madison, WI 53704 (608) 249-4333
Old Handsome Joe Biden Controversially Casts Doubt On True Outcome Of 2000 Election
That wacky Joe Biden has said another crazy thing! At a Washington DC fundraiser for Massachusetts Senate candidate Ed Markey on Wednesday, Vice President Joe Biden acknowledged former Veep Al Gore, also among the speakers, saying, according to a pool report, “This man was elected president of the United States of America…No, no, no. He [...]
Fox News Expert Explains Trayvon Martin Died Of ‘Street Attitude’ Plus Some Bullet Wounds
Here is former NYPD detective Harry Houck bringing his hard-boiled perspective to Fox News on Tuesday, serving up a generous helping of No-Nonsense Tough Talk in a panel discussion about the second day of jury selection in George Zimmerman’s trial. Harry Houck is NOT IMPRESSED by the likelihood that the prosecutor lady will talk about how [...]
Sales of ’1984′ Way Up, Booz Allen Stock Down, 4th Amendment Downgraded To Junk Status
Following last week’s revelations reminders of the government’s extensive collection and monitoring of Americans’ electronic data, sales of George Orwell’s 1984 are up sharply, according to a piece in the Washington Examiner. Once this factoid hit the interwebs, the story went Full Ouroboros — when the story broke Monday at noon EDT, 1984 was ranked [...]
Wonk Your Brains Out In St. Louis Tonight!
Attention all Wonkessourians! Yr Wonkette wants to “show you” how to party! The 2013 Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest Southwest Orgy And World Tour wends its way into St. Louis tonight with the force of a million exploding suns! That is some heavy-duty wending, we would have to say! Get yourselves to the Schlafly Tap [...]
Sundays With The Christianists: American History And How God Made It Happen
Greetings, secular scum! Time for another expedition into the alternate reality of textbooks published by the Christian Right. This week, we start a series on American History as she is taught to homeschoolers and Christian private schools. “Wait,” we hear you saying, “Didn’t you already DO American history?” Ow, Con-TRARE, we did not! We did [...]
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