Doktor Zoom

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).
Quintonio LeGrier, 19, and Bettie Jones, 55

In a move that's certain to help improve relations between police and the populations they keep in line safe, a Chicago cop is suing the estate of Quintonio LaGrier, the 19-year-old he shot to...
Can't you see how she's dividing America right here?

Sunday's Pepsi Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show at Levi's Stadium in Facebook, California, was tinged with controversy. In an astonishing move, the NFL chose Coldplay to headline as an obvious diversity hire. Some more...
Never should have installed that Romney2012 emulator

You may have missed it in all the excitement over that thrilling sportsball contest where the team with the one bunch of guys beat the team with the other bunch of guys, and there...
Totally not fair. Princess Sunbutt is white, and many of her best pals are pastel.

Happy "Big Game Sunday" -- as all the ads which haven't paid the necessary licensing fee must call it -- O ye Wonkers! Are you rooting for the one team of giant men who...

As everyone knows, there are two objectives for any political candidate appearing on Saturday Night Live: Get your face on SNL, and do it without embarrassing yourself too badly. And don't even try to...

Hey, just to prove that Democrats aren't the only party to hold debates on a weekend evening when nobody except political junkies and shut-ins -- hahaha, like there is a difference! -- will be...
Will this fossil find be retconned into the Spider-Man mythos?

Hope you kids are ready for some full-on nerding today, because it is Saturday and we have news that brings together two of the best topics possible: Science and sexxytimes. Oh, sure, the sexxytimes...
Champers all right for you, Pats? Lovely, Sweetie.

So let's say you're the governor of a state where a city of 100,000 souls has been in the news because you poisoned the water, and where roughly 9,000 children have been exposed to...
Good god we can't even

You might have thought last October's story about the 11-year-old Tennessee boy who murdered an 8-year-old neighbor because she wouldn't show him a puppy was one of the bleakest things Yr Wonkette wrote about...
Sure it's poison. But think of the savings!

Just in case you were feeling extra peppy and cheerful today, we're here to wipe that smile right off your face. Because the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, just managed to get a little...
I promise I'll be gentle

After performing well below even his own pitifully low expectations in the Iowa caucuses and spending roughly $2,884 for every one of the pitifully few votes he won there, Jeb! Bush continued on to...
Where is your Godzilla now?

Former Congresspastor Michele Bachmann has been playing the ol' "The Bible Is A Roadmap For History" game again, and she has some pretty fascinating predictions about what's going to happen in the Middle East...

In all the excitement of the Iowa Caucuses, you might have missed one little squirmish leading up to the big night: a microfeud between rightwing idiot Sarah Palin and idiot rightwinger Steve King over...
It was Sleepy Old Man Carson all along!

Ben Carson knows why he only finished fourth in the Iowa Caucuses, with a piddling 9 percent of the vote: It had nothing with his campaign style (best described as somewhere between "somnolent" and...
It's like a beautiful rusty rainbow!

Bad news, citizens of Flint: You know how charities and the state of Michigan have been delivering water filters that are supposed to filter out the lead that's been leaching into your tap water...
Take Me To Your Butter Cow

It's your Iowa Caucus open thread, Wonkers! After all the prolonged teasing, flirting with billionaires, straining to get a surge in the polls, and lots and lots of sucking, it's time for the voters...

Wonkette Primary! Vote!


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