Blair Burke

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Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

Watch this video! It is our First Lady Michelle Obama and what appears to be the mom who was way too involved at your middle school/Jimmy Fallon, doing a silly dance! It is the...

Your FLOTUS correspondent can smell an ABC Family original movie a mile away, and this one smells like some combination of Ruby Bridges, that documentary about the choir for elderly people, and scallions....

There is a rumor going 'round that the gorgeous visage of our beloved First Lady Michelle Obama will be gracing grocery store check-out aisles everywhere come next month. No, they have not started...

Libruls really hit the holiday jackpot this week! First, we had Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Inauguration Day at the same time, which appropriately coincided with the made-up Fox News holiday, "Sadness Day"...

You are of course familiar with Candy magazine, America's first and most beloved "transversal style" periodical. (Not to be confused with Candy magazine, the magazine dedicated to Filipino youth.) Previous Candy covers have featured...

Good day to you, FLOTUS fans! How have you been lately? Have you been obeying your morning arm-workout regimen or have you been binge eating in your bathroom? Michelle is always watching, you know!...

As we continue to mourn our Fallen Heroes, let us not forget Mayor Janice Daniels of Troy, Michigan! This beloved character danced onto the pages of our Wonkette storybook earlier this year, when she...

Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, "Cory...

Before going into too much detail, the answer is Michelle Obama. Always. Unless of course the question is, "Who ate the rest of my french fries?" (The answer to that question used to be...

Last night, First Lady Michelle Obama gave her DNC speech, and in a pink Tracy Reese dress (stylish and symbolic, of course), our FLOTUS verbally kickboxed Mitt Romney in the junk. There were those...

Here is the great news for those of us who have longed for some FLOTUS in our lives these past few days: Michelle Obama is involved in another scandal again, and surprise surprise, it...

One would think that the words following "Michelle Obama threatened by..." would be something along the lines of "Slurpee Machine Technicians" or "Vengeful Hoveround Gang." Actually, though, the threats made against the First...

Why hello, FLOTUS fans. Have you been wondering what your First Lady Michelle Antoinette Obama has been up to the past few weeks? Anything particularly scandalous aside from hanging out on Pinterest looking at...

As promised, our First Lady Michelle Obama has published her first book. It is a book about gardening, and if "The Help" is any indication, it is sure to be a bestseller, because isn't...

So we all know by now that our First Lady Michelle Obama hates Oprah and taunted her with pie, or whatever, who cares. Our FLOTUS really has no time for ridiculous accusations, because...

Hey there, you might want to put down your Fritos for a second, because this is gross: In 2005, "being obese or overweight caused an estimated 216,000 deaths from heart disease, diabetes and...

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