Newly unearthed documents show the ACLU was founded by COMMUNISTS in 1919. This fact is truly shocking because why would anyone want to overthrow capitalism during the golden age of child labor? [The Daily Caller] Muslims are slated to show up in the next Narnia movie, where, thanks to the PC police, they will capture […]

Let’s play terrorist bingo! Muslims really do have the most hilarious names — it’s almost like they come from a foreign culture or something. [The Jawa Report] Anyone who cannot tell you the EXACT AMOUNT Obama pays in interest on the national debts racked up by all the drag/welfare queens is unfit to spar with […]

Barack Obama welcomed the cast of Glee to worship with him and Michelle at his dog-cult shrine and White House. Dick Cheney managed to bribe his way out of being shipped to Nigeria like a lowly Wikileaker. Wikileaks founder and Helen Mirren stunt-double Julian Assange was finally released on bail, so he can now get […]

Oh look, mysterious Wonkette intern Benjamin Frisch did a “political cartoon” for you!

Ayn Rand’s rotting corpse is feeling SO GOOD right now, since Americans are once again free to forego health insurance and force all the other poors to pay for it! [Forbes] Instead of this “insurance,” Americans should be forced to buy guns, presumably to blow their brains out when they’re afflicted with a horrifying disease. […]

We learned that compromise in the Senate means giving into every Republican demand, ever, and that disagreeing just makes you a partisan hack. Just to prove the president’s point, several of those partisan hacks in the lesser legislature had a big old tantrum to oppose the president and his billion-dollar Hanukkah gift to Joe Lieberman. […]

The brave parents of New Hampshire are protecting their kids from literacy by pulling their brood out of classes that require some Socialist fag-literature called Nickel and Dimed. [Fox News] Did you know that tax increases can never, ever, increase government revenue? It’s a startling but true fact, and anyone that believes otherwise is just […]

Michele Bachmann and Steve King stood up for the antebellum south, who have been totally ignored since that runaway Kenyan slave became president. Perfect virgin Bristol Palin memorized some new vocabulary words to defend her honor against the ruler of Dictionopolis, Keith Olbermann. The elite state of science reporting was threatened by ignorant bloggers who […]

Some sneaky Jew-Jew-Yamaka snuck a Star of David onto the roof of the Iran Air headquarters and Allah is PISSED. [Winston's Cat] Angelina Jolie is a BITCH because she hates America (but mostly because she is a woman). [Debbie Schlussel] Breitbart’s Greg Gutfield went to East Germany to learn about one of the most socially […]

The most powerful branch of the U.S. government, the UN, is going to take away all your guns and force all Americans to dip their fries in disgusting mayonnaise like a common Belgian. [WorldNetDaily] At least America still has the best brown-people-killing boom-boom sticks in the world. USA! USA! [FoxNews] Enough of this gay-ass “diplomacy,” […]

America’s hipsters will soon have a new ironic, chemically aged piss-beer to drink, but only if the bravest beer baron in America successfully sues the federal government for his first amendment right to plaster the American flag all over his fermented garbage. [NewsOK] Uh oh, some Jihadists issued a fatwa against McDonald’s. Where will K-Lo […]

A brave iReporter in the land of Rapelay uploaded this shocking TSA grope video from one of their teevee comedy shows, which is basically SNL but funnier because it’s in moon-language and Tim Meadows is nowhere in sight. It’s a great distraction from preparing your fresh vending machine crabs for your Thanksgiving Cherry Blossom Hello-Kitty […]

The most misunderstood American patriot and author of No Country For Old Men, Joseph McCarthy, is finally getting the historical revisionism he deserves. [Washington Times] Our fascist government has to — get this — PAY for jailing illegal immigrants. Why not just throw them into a tire fire? [Fox News] Because Muslims shamelessly worship that […]

The fake-pearl wearing former-FLOTUS, Barbara Bush, likes to can her fetuses. Screeching moonbat Keith Olbermann got suspended from his show because he  refused to apologize for being a screeching moonbat. The American wet-noodle party has yet to decide how often they will tongue-bathe John Boehner’s anus. Just like Narnia is an allegory for the baby […]

Michelle Antoinette’s fashion atrocities continue to destroy lives overseas, but worry not, the fashion police are hot on her Allah-chic heels. [Michelle Obama's Mirror] Give the gift of jar-fetus to all the loved ones this Christmas with a Planned Parenthood buy-one get-one-free abortion coupon. [Now Public] Obviously you can’t water the Tree of Liberty with […]