Arielle Fleisher
Arielle Fleisher is the Wonkabout. She roams D.C. seeking tasty foods, cheap drinks, whole-pig BBQs, think tank events, street fairs and other local horrors.
The State of the Union address is tonight! Hooray! It’s been a whole year since Obama screamed TAXCUTSTAXCUTSTAXCUTS and swore that we could all live in bipartisan glory. But this spectacle remains a favorite of Washingtonians who love any excuse to drink, talk politics and sound smarter than their friends. The platters have been ordered [...]
Here’s a tale you can tell your grandkids when they ask you what it was like to live in D.C. during the Chinese occupation: You can tell them that a restaurant made famous thanks to the eating habits of a fat man on the teevee — Hot N Juicy Crawfish — decided to open up [...]
Oh hey there, kids. Your Wonkabout disappeared for about a month or so to go to Thailand, but she’s now back at Wonkette Headquarters. What important developments happened in D.C. during her absence? H Street’s white people transporter was discontinued, the Washington Post proudly proclaimed that the “New York-ification” of the District is just beginning [...]
Because everyone spent 2010 impoverished and hungry, watching luscious BP oil spill into the Gulf and belittling America by enjoying a sport loved by Latinos, New Year’s festivities this year may be a little less exciting. But as 2010 could very well be the last year America can even afford to have its own New Year’s celebration, there’s no [...]
Thanks to all the limbless gay soldiers, 2011 could very well be the last full year our great earth exists. It’s a shame, really, considering how much we’ve invested in soldiers (even the gay ones) over the years. It’s also the year when D.C. will become One and we’ll have to say goodbye to dedicated bike [...]
For most Americans, Christmas is that special time when you gather your remaining pennies, find your way to the local 7-Eleven to finish your Christmas shopping and pray that, when you return home, the Baby Jesus left a job/house/car under your tree. But if you live in Washington, D.C. — a city that was just [...]
Thursday, December 16: Generation Obama-D.C. seems to have missed the part where Obama turned Republican and told his minions that he no longer loves them: At what could be the least merry holiday party EVER, they will be gathering to celebrate Progress (pass out resumes) at Hawk ‘n Dove on Thursday night from 6-9PM. $5. [...]
With Pissed-Off Obama desiring to completely alienate his base, it’s only a matter of time before we’re forced to start compromising everything we believe in. Soon Washingtonians will be eating turkey bacon and healthy foodstuffs, and maybe even feeling the recession. You may now enter your basement and not leave it for (at least) another [...]
The New York Times did some superb journalism and wrote yet another article about how D.C. is all growed up! What did they focus on this time? That gay people live in D.C.? That a group of 20-somethings effectively run the government from their condos in Logan Circle? That white people live where black people [...]
Wednesday, December 8: Obama loved the D.C. restaurant scene and would devour our rich-people hamburgers and gourmet junk food whenever he could. But just because the new Obama doesn’t want to have anything more to do with the silly intellectuals who came to D.C. for him and created a city in his image doesn’t mean [...]
Oh goody! Even if most of the country is currently sitting on the edge of their seats, wondering if they’ll be able to afford Ramen or chickpeas for Christmas Dinner, at least self-gifting is on the rise in famed not-America Washington, D.C. Hooray! There really has never been a better time to be rich/want a [...]
Back in the day, the brave people who ate hot dogs in D.C. were only the tourists who purchased them from stands near the Mall, after a tiring day of erratically circling monuments and bumping into people. But these days are FINALLY over. While the rest of America is permanently starving/unemployed and chugs along on [...]
Wednesday, December 1: Because last week an ancient ex-Nazi declared that condoms are kinda sorta okay, this could very well be the BEST World AIDS Day ever. Congratulate AIDS on another successful year of causing much death by attending a cocktail benefit for the Whitman-Walker Clinic at the wine bar Urbana. Admission is $10 and [...]
