Arielle Fleisher
Arielle Fleisher is the Wonkabout. She roams D.C. seeking tasty foods, cheap drinks, whole-pig BBQs, think tank events, street fairs and other local horrors.
Tattooed Pig Urges Wonkabout To Leave DC (Goodbye Forever!)
Well hello! After two years of eating and drinking her way around this city so you could know which small plates, pork, hamburger or pizza establishment is worthy of your hard-earned disposable income, it is time for your Wonkabout to leave the playground that is D.C. She is off to learn things in grad school, [...]
Pre-Swamp Sweat Fest Fun: The Many Ways To Enjoy DC Spring
Happy third day of Passover to all our Jewish friends and a hoppy almost Easter to “everyone else!” Jews eating matza and the celebration of when Jesus returned to say “howdy” to all his followers before going away again are two exciting occasions that mark fertility, horny rabbits, and most importantly, spring. Before we enter [...]
D.C. Itinerary For 800,000 Furloughed Federal Employees
Washington is usually such a lively place, with its rats and whores and millionaires and non-essential government employees. How will D.C. change when the Federal Government actually shuts down forever Friday at Midnight? Maybe you like the socialist safety and security of your paycheck and don’t care for this unpaid, forced spring break? Or maybe [...]
Freedom From Fancy Culinary Tricks: Just Succulent Morsels of Meat
Apparently, in our little small-plates metropolis it is possible to have a simple, non-pork-based meal in a nice, modestly decorated restaurant. For a while there we had resigned ourselves a life where we would get all our nutrients from bacon-covered doughnuts and to drinking beer only from mason jars in dimly lit restaurants. This is [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Japanese Tree Flowers
There are many great things that come with the start of spring, like homeless people returning to Dupont Circle, tourists on Segways, free cone day, and Jesus. Of all the obligatory D.C. spring activities, though, there’s nothing more loved than staring at the cherry blossoms, even if those pretty pink blossoms look exactly the same [...]
Near Total Destruction of Japan Will Not Mark the End of Cherry Blossoms
These little pink flower-y things that were a gift from good old Japan will soon be a bloomin’ all over the Tidal Basin. Yes, we are about to enter the dark and scary tourist-infested time that is Cherry Blossom Season—which, haha, this year perfectly coincides with the next Tea Party Protest. Soon there will be [...]
And So Continues the Ironic Consumption of Pig
With all the economic unpleasantness and the wars and the fact that our quinoa habit is slowly starving South Americans, here’s something to take comfort in: a new spot for the disposing of income, Standard. It’s a food truck without wheels where you’re charged sales tax on your bill — this is also known as [...]
St. Patrick’s Day: Are You Drunk Yet?
Local Gas Station Now Serves Gourmet Eats, Because Why Not?
Washingtonians are notoriously wary of dining in an actual building. The city’s cubicle drones prefer to wait in the godawful humidity for lobster rolls or to wander around a parking lot while consuming slow-roasted happy pork. But consuming gourmet, extremely satisfying food under a roof has finally become an Okay Thing To Do Again — [...]
Eastern Market: Yuppieville Forever
Eastern Market is one of the last remaining areas in D.C. that hasn’t really attempted to find its New York stripes. It’s managed to stay classically and quintessentially yuppie! The kind of place where people engage in Civil Discourse and where there are real live actual children. Lots of them! Considering what a bad week [...]
Stabilize Your Blood Sugar and Dodge Balls To End Diabetes
In this great age of anus burgers and bacon-covered doughnuts, most of us will be killed by diabetes — and that means it would probably be smart to start donating to diabetes organizations right now. And next week, there’s a way to help fight diabetes in two ways: Grab life by the balls and participate [...]
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