Bill Clinton threw a huge book party for the first novel by Chelsea’s ex-boyfriend Ian Klaus! And Chelsea brought her new boyfriend! Awkward! Though, seriously, they’re all still friends. So adult! Anyway if you’re a struggling novelist you better try to get with John McCain’s blogger daughter ASAP. Update: Not a novel! Whoops! All truth is relative etc etc [WP]

According to what will surely be an utterly insane Fox News documentary (Dick Cheney: No Retreat is the serious, no-foolin’ name), Vice President Gargamel disagreed with Bush’s decision to remove his buddy Donald Rumsfeld as Defense Secretary. Because Don was doing such a great job with the war, and oh, also because Don is the only reason Dick has reached his current position of ridiculous power. “I wouldn’t be where I am today if it hadn’t been for what Don Rumsfeld was willing to do,” Cheney told Fox, just in case we’d all forgotten how much we hate Don Rumsfeld. But, uh, we’re kinda confused. Because didn’t Rummy voluntarily resign? MORE »

After the GOP debate the other night, Post political correspondent Dan Balz admitted that he has no clue who the Prime Minister of Canada is. Come on, Dan! That’s an easy one! It’s Stephen Stills. No, wait, the other one — Neil Young. Right? [ETP]

* Heard on the Hill: No Slaughter in sight… Sen. Olympia Snowe says she’s in Vegas for business and she’s sticking to it… Sen. Chris Dodd might not be the best person to sit next to if the Sox lose. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Stephen Colbert doesn’t know many red districts. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Fly Lounge is getting its own reality show… No congressional censure for Limbaugh… Jimmy Carter wouldn’t change a thing. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Billy Crystal to be honored at the Kennedy Center tonight… The Palm is back in action. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid suddenly bff? [WP]
* Page Six: Wonkette is far less creepy than Ruthann Aron. [NYP]

Oh, that John Edwards sex scandal thing? It might have been planted and tended with care by the Huffington Post, sort of. Someone gave Sam Stein (former Newsweek intern-turned-HuffPo Political Journalist extraordinaire!) the story of some TOTALLY MYSTERIOUS VIDEOS that disappeared from John Edwards’ website. First it was a mere mysterious mystery — why would the Edwards’ campaign scrub all traces of these harmless, complimentary “meet the candidate” videos? Then it was a totally mysterious mystery involving a nutty, directionless hippie chick whom Edwards met in a bar.

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“It wasn’t government’s job to spend millions to save buggy whip factories and haberdashers when cars replaced carriages and men stopped wearing hats. And it isn’t government’s job to spend billions preserving products and services that we can’t sell anymore.”
– John McCain in Michigan MORE »

The poor super-rich. While America’s richest 1% still rule the country, controlling more wealth than the entire bottom 90%, it’s become much harder for them to prove how wealthy they are through ostentatious consumption. Because everyone in America owns two homes and a yacht now, haven’t you heard? George Will has, and his column — filed directly from the Bizarro Planet — urges you, the little guy, to take pity on the plutocracy. MORE »

The Turks are so angry that a House committee declared their 1915 massacre of 1.5 million Armenians a genocide, they’re going kill all the Kurds. [NYT]

* If we were in Iraq, we’d probably be pushing to go to Afghanistan too. [NYT]
* Better late than never probably. [NYT]
* Democrats will let the Bush spy on us so long as he says please. [WP]
* We would choose a no-day work week if it was up to us, but it’s not, and do you here us bitching? [Politico]
* It’s possible that Karl Rove may have done something illegal, but let’s give the guy the benefit of the doubt. [The Hill]
* Mitt and Rudy play make believe. [LAT]

The RNC is trying to capitalize on that whole “pink sports apparel for ladies who pretend to like sports” thing by selling their own brand of offensively “feminized” Republican merchandise. They call it “Pink Elephants,” which manages to suggest both homosexuality and DTs-induced hallucination. Great job guys!

RNC Store

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: dirty money for clean water.

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