“Drug czar” Gil Kerlikowske is the saddest man in America. First he can’t wage a write-in campaign for U.S. Senate in Alaska because his name is even more difficult to spell than that of Lisa Murkowski. And now, on his watch, we’re legalizing Mary Jane! Poor guy has apparently been driven off the wagon. The […]

Wake up, West Coast dope hippies! If voters approve California’s Proposition 19, everything will be ruined for Mexico’s farmers, soldiers, and cops! Thus speaks Don Pito Calderone, the top narco-capo of the República de México who moonlights as a Napoleonic president. Here’s the shocking headline from the Guadalajara daily Informador: “Calderon: Problems for Mexico if […]

After three grim minutes of bullet-riddled bodies hanging beneath bridges and other common scenes from Mexico’s drug war, something truly terrible occurs in this video report: Beer-guzzling backwards-cap-wearing U.S. college kids tumble out of a tour bus in a town square and drunkenly proclaim their love for the Mexican Drug War. But these aren’t normal […]

Did you somehow miss this video over the weekend? Why not watch it right now, for freedom? A skateboarder dude snuck up behind the aspiring book burner and told the local teevee news, “He said something about burning a Koran. I was, like, ‘Dude, you have no Koran!’ and took his Koran and ran off.” […]

In preparation for tonight’s big crest-falling at the hands of the Baltimore Ravens, the New York Jets reportedly “made passes at” (literally!) TV Azteca sports reporter Inez Sainz, who came all the way up from Mexico City. The result is that now there really will be a War with Mexico and this is NOT EXCELLENT […]

Did you know that Mexicans won their “independence” 200 years ago, and their “democracy” 100 years ago? And they even have a “president,” Felipe Calderon, who lost the 2006 election by 1.5 million votes but still “won” it very narrowly. ¡Viva México Mágico! Anyway, Messicans are not very happy about their upcoming bicentennial celebrations — […]

Everything is going hunky-dory down here, South of the Border, as we stock up on ISLAMO-TEQUILA for the 200th anniversary of Mexico’s “independence” from foreign rule. But Hillary Clinton is bored being Secretary of State when every PUMA knows SHE SHOULD BE PRESIDENT! And while Obama is stuck in midterm madness, Clinton noticed there’s a […]