Alex Ruthrauff

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Alex is an occasional contributor to Wonkette. That bird looking thing under here is how you follow him on Twitter.

Imagine, If You Dare, A World Where Trump Was A Disciplined Campaigner

Looks like Alex would like us to yell at him again.

You’ve Never Had A Day As Good As Hillary Clinton’s Friday

If you were too busy losing your entire mind over "grab them by the pussy" yesterday, you might have missed that Wikileaks published what they allege to be partial transcripts of Hillary's paid speeches to Goldman Sachs and other Wall Street firms. I'll...
Also, they're not so crazy about his followers

Trump Tells Roomful Of Nevadans They Say ‘Nevada’ Wrong, Because Why Not At This Point?

Donald Trump isn't your "typical politician" in much the same way that an empty beer can smooshed between two mummified rats isn't your "typical sandwich." This beer-can-between-rats quality was again on display at a campaign stop in Reno, Nevada, Wednesday night, when...

Hillary Thugs Rig Radio Idiot Michael Savage’s Mic, For Some Reason Forget To MURDERRRR

The following numbered list is a complete accounting of every American who has been silenced, censored, sabotaged or otherwise punished for expressing doubts about Hillary Clinton's health, according to Michael Savage: Michael Savage Yes, it is finally happening. After months of gleeful, max-volume...

Counter-Counterpoint: Okay Fine, Hillary Did Great, Please Don’t Hurt Me

This is a follow-up to my less-than-favorably received post yesterday, where I argued that Hillary Clinton didn’t win the debate the night before, so much as Donald Trump lost it. This post is part mea culpa, part still, don’t...
So there.

Counterpoint: Trump Lost, But Only Because He Hung Himself From His Own Dick

I was going to pass on writing about the debate because, as yr great Editrix pointed out in her #Slatepitch this morning, I was in the minority who thought Hillary lost, and if Trix agreed with me at first, that was...

This One Chart Explains How Donald Trump Is Vile Beyond Description

Donald Trump's much anticipated (so they say) speech on illegal immigration used the word "kill" six times. "Murder" came up three times. There was one "rape," three "violent," a whopping 24 "criminal," five "horrible," just one "terrible" (!), five...

Let’s Imagine: Jill Stein Treats Trump’s Physician Dr. Harold Bornstein

Dr. Jill Stein ascended the rope ladder to her secret medical tree house, where she practiced secret medicine. Hand over hand, clog over sensible clog, she climbed. Finally, after moving in some more ways that would be boring to describe, she was...

Let’s Imagine: Michele Bachmann Advises Donald Trump On Foreign Policy

The helicopter soared over the Minnesota woods like a huge machine designed for that purpose. Inside were Donald J. Trump and his pilot, Golden Pilot, a gold plated human pilot who was very expensive. “Golden Pilot,” said Trump. “Yes, Mr. Trump?”...

Donald Trump Is Losing Because, At Heart, He’s The Class Clown

Earlier this week I had the unpleasant realization that I have something in common with Donald Trump. I was at work, and I cracked a joke that I shouldn't have. I do this a lot, and every time, I tell...
Now free of conflicts of interest, other than every other aspect of his finances

Democrats Target Donald Trump’s Greatest Weakness: Donald Trump

The Democratic Convention probed for weaknesses in the Republican nominee, and found a target-rich environment.
Sounds like he needs to SPLAIN some things to his campaign.

If It’s Bernie Or Bust, And It Won’t Be Bernie, What Does That Leave?

The BOO-erners were much more scarce on Night Two of the convention, just as we predicted!

Are You Saying Boo, Or Boo-nie Sanders?

There were a lot of boo-birds at the first night of the DNC. Or were there that many, really?
Wonkette assumes no liability for nightmares resulting from this Photoshop

Tim Kaine Pretty Good On Abortion For Middle Aged Catholic Dude

Before we start pooping on him, let's first stipulate that both I and Yr Editrix are very happy with the Kaine pick. His first speech as Hillary's running mate was shockingly good. Not only was he good, but the...

Reminder: America Not As Insane, Doomed As We May Seem

This is important to say, and even more important to feel and believe, right now. It also happens to be true. It's easy to observe the GOP Convention, with its parade of speakers basking in rapturous cheers when they call for...
What 'hate groups'? Do you have a list?

GOP Convention’s Live YouTube Chat Made Me Feel Like I Was Dying

If it's been too long since you've felt that old familiar icy lance of fear in your gut, you should head over to the official Republican National Convention's live stream of the proceedings in Cleveland on YouTube sponsored by...