“He said, ‘If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.’ Oh yeah?” This was my mother yelling at the president, which I hadn’t heard her do since Bush II. This was a woman who can hardly believe how much the Republican Party has changed since she registered to vote for Richard Nixon. Who voted […]

We speculate a lot around here about what, exactly, makes some people feel that they should be allowed to carry a loaded gun whenever and wherever they please. “Small penis” is a popular one. “Living in a fantasy world” is another. We’ll add “incredibly self-centered” and “insecure for reasons other than a small penis.” But according to […]

  Those letters you get in the mail that beg you to give money to feed blind children to the whales in disempoverished communities are called “direct mail.” Political organizations also use direct mail to raise money and recruit members because it’s weirdly effective, especially with people aged 65 and over. One such organization, the gun fetishist group National Association […]

In the strictest search result for “socialism” sense of the word, Pope Francis is not a socialist because he has not (to our knowledge) ever argued for “[a] society in which major industries are owned and controlled by the government”. But the definition of “socialism” is changing. Socialism is now understood by a lot of people […]

Though it’s always nice to be right, we really wish we had been wrong about Edward Snowden. We wish that he truly had been the super-genius martyr for freedom depicted by his most fervent supporters — and, if we’re being honest, by Snowden himself, with his talk of “sacrificing himself” and “risking his life” and […]

The bloodstone hearth glowed crimson and umber athwart the embers of the fire. Lady Hillarye Clynton regarded the beasts carved upon it: the savage bear, the diffident squirrel, the cowardly otter. Above them all, the rampant croissant, sigil of House Clynton, shone with buttery benevolence. But it was the rabbit that arrested her attention. The […]

Spongy-faced Russian Emperor Vladimir Putin did some kind of Face The Motherland forum on his own personal television network, and he had a Very Special Guest: American/Russian hero/traitor Edward Snowden! Snowden began by stating that America’s intelligence-gathering methods are indiscriminate, ineffective, and abusive, then asked Putin if Russia did the same things. According to Slate’s […]

It’s Tax Day, which means political entities everywhere are scrambling to graft their agendas onto something with the word “tax” in it, so people who are frantically asking their internets “what for i owe so much taxis?” will give them their email addresses. Us here, we got this nice thing in our email, says “TAXPAYERS DELIVER […]

This is video of part of a confrontation between federal agents from the Bureau of Land Management and insurgents who reject the federal government’s claim of sovereignty over federal lands in Nevada. in·sur·gent noun \-jənt\: a person who fights against an established government or authority We covered the Bundy Ranch insurgents yesterday, focusing mostly on the rhetorical […]

Is it just us, or has it been a long time since we had a really revolting sex scandal? What was the last one, Bob Filner? That was a “good” one. We are trying to remember before that but Big Dave Petraeus, Mark “Soul Mate” Sanford, and Mr. Wide Stance Bromance Larry Craig are all […]

Did you ever have a dog that sucked? Maybe it was always crashing into stuff like an idiot, and dripping poop all over the house because it ate some awful thing, and nobody could ever train it because it was especially dumb, even in dog terms? Here’s the weird thing about these dogs: even if […]

Nice auto plant you got here, Volkswagen. Shame if anyone were to unionize it. Incredible though it may seem, that’s the gist of this report from the front lines of the War Against Workers. In short, it looks like Tennessee offered Volkswagen a $300 million incentive to expand its factory in Chattanooga — but the money […]

Pharrell Williams makes songs that shake booties, including the booty of excellent Congressman John Lewis. That’s great, but it doesn’t speak to Pharrell’s own political beliefs. Only Pharrell himself can do that, and blessed are we because he has recently spoken of them in some detail in GQ. He begins innocently enough: We’re about to […]

This post brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Blogging Chair For Oil Spill Clusterfucks. It’s been a quarter-century since the oil tanker Exxon Valdez spilled 11 million gallons of oil in the formerly known as pristine Prince William Sound, and here we are today still burning the earth’s toxic runny shits and farts for […]

The DC Abortion Fund has found a very clever way to trick anti-choice right-wing social engineers into using their outraged Twittering to help DCAF raise some serious cash, for buying abortions! If you give the DC Abortion Fund $10 a month, you’ll get a tiny coat hanger, ideal for wearing as a pendant or neatly storing […]