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It’s time for another installment of Burn Yer Queeran, where we talk about “Islamophobia, American-style” in bullet-point format. Is everyone psyched to learn about the latest trends in bigotry? Awesome! Let’s proceed, then.
Because federal employees are supposed to be absolutely neutral in their political beliefs, they have long been denied the basic rights most Americans have come to take for granted in the most important political arenas of our time: Facebook and Twitter. For too long, honest Americans have watched their relatives post “Salt in the Wound” [...]
Rick Santorum has been in Iowa a lot lately, so obviously he is running for president, but he doesn’t really want to. The people of the United States are FORCING him to, because they just need a President Rick Santorum so badly. “I sort of feel in some respects I’m being pulled along in this,” [...]
How the fuck did your Wonkette miss the fact that yesterday was the 90th anniversary of the day bitches got the right to fondle hanging chads? Sadly, half of your daily Wonkette Ladyteam is a Known Bad Feminist, and the other half is an ethereal artist who dwells in a secret elven workshop in Chicago, [...]
Religion/national security/energy/feminism expert @SarahPalinUSA might be losing her magical touch when it comes to stumping for the nation’s Republican candidates, speculates the new peer-reviewed political science journal The Hill. Both Washington Senate candidate Clint Didier and Wyoming wannabe governor Rita Meyer just lost their primaries despite having Palin’s endorsement, joining a losers’ circle that includes [...]
March of 2009 was so very long ago that when you click this link you will be surprised that everyone in the story isn’t wearing chain mail and calling each other “thee” and “thou,” but back then South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was a guy with a future in politics, and if there’s one thing [...]
Traffic stops will continue unabated in the not-so-great state of Tennessee, as Basil Marceaux incomprehensibly goes down in defeat in his race for the GOP gubernatorial nomination! The only consolation is that secessionist Zach Wamp and Lt. Gov. Ron “Islam is a cult” Ramsey lost as well. The winner was Knoxville Mayor Bill Haslam, who [...]
THERE HAVE BEEN GREAT MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN RHETORIC. Yet there has been only one occasion of pure, unadulterated genius. That’s what happened last night: a debate staged between the Internet’s favorite Tennessee gubernatorial candidate, Basil Marceaux, and two other crazies.
Don’t get us wrong, this video is an absolute delight. But it’s obvious that at least one professional has joined Basil’s campaign staff. It’s disconcerting. The music is perfect. But it’s too perfect. And so are the cuts. And so is the text that comes up on the screen. Look at what Basil’s YouTube account [...]
Since we introduced you to your 2010 election boyfriend, Basil Marceaux, the man and his opposition to traffic-stop slavery have achieved virulence here on the Internets. Basil’s infamous local news broadcast introduction to voters has shown up and been laughed about on teevee shows as well. But the problem is that, despite his seeming avoidance [...]
Jesus Christ, is everyone running for governor of Tennessee? In addition to Basil Marceaux, “Crazy Man James,” and secessionist Congressman Zach Wamp, current Lieutenant Governor of Tennessee Ron Ramsey is fighting for the Republican nomination. But Ramsey isn’t an actual lunatic and doesn’t want Tennessee to break away and form its own pointless independent nation, [...]
Congressman Zach Wamp is locked in a three-way battle for the Republican nomination for Tennessee governor (though it will ultimately go to a fourth candidate, Basil Marceaux), and so to give himself an edge he has resorted to the best talking point ever (after traffic-stop slavery emancipation), hinting that he maybe would like to secede [...]
Tips have been streaming in today to find “America’s Next Top Basil Marceaux,” and it appears the most worthy contestant just happens to be running against Basil Marceaux himself. “Crazy Man” James Reesor, as he calls himself, is an independent candidate for governor of Tennessee. And he actually has pretty good grammar and is sort [...]
When our friend Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., dropped out of his race for Senate earlier this week, we didn’t know if we could ever love again. But you know what? The universe works in mysterious ways. It started with a simple e-mail subject line in our tips inbox: “It’s okay to laugh at the mentally [...]
The tabloids would have you believe that Al Gore wanted some masseuse person to touch his genitals one time years ago, but a respectable magazine, People, does not believe this, as they heard from one of Tipper Gore’s friends that she doesn’t believe it happened. “And they also say Al had an affair with a [...]
