search results

Good heavens! This electronick “” reporte suggesteth that regent-lord HRH Peggington Noonington, chief wordsmithingtonshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, is a Communiste, as though She keepeth court with textile-craffters or Chicagoe Africkans.

In case you’re one of those people who wonders to yourself, Gosh, how could cable “news” possibly get even more unbearably unbearable, heeeeeeeeeeeeere’s your answer: Jay Leno. CNN President Jeff Zucker said earlier this month that he wants CNN to have more of “an attitude and a take” and to have it compete not just […]

Have you ever wondered what Aaron Sorkin’s “media diet” is? No? Neither have we, but he’s going to tell us. And guess what? He does not like this newfangled media stuff on this interwebs thingy. No, he likes his news the old-fashioned way: propaganda dressed up as objective journalism by “the media elite,” printed on […]

Just in case anyone’s not completely tired of the saga of Tuffy Gessling, the rodeo clown who wore a Barack Obama mask (god knows we are), the always incisive folks at WND have this temporal anomaly of a headline about Obama’s appearance on Saturday Night Live in 2007: “No way! Look who’s wearing Obama mask […]

Dame Peggington Noonington — cat blogger; astute observer of the painfully obvious; and longtime sufferer of a crappy hotel room, thanks to Obama — has some more unsolicited advice for the president, which he should definitely follow if he wants to be like that great bipartisan messiah, Saint Ronald Jesus Reagan, in His name we […]

Dame Peggington Noonington has a sad, you guys, because she’s apparently the last person in America to hear this joke: I have a friend who once told me the difference between cats and dogs. When you get up in the morning and feed your dog he looks up at you and thinks: “She comes, finds […]

Greeteries, subjects. It is I, thy lord Mme. HRH Miss Peggington Noonington, queene word-smither of thine Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, and good heavens, the thingingtons that I Hath Seen in Tampa, polis of knaves and Deville Rays. Myne dispatchery hath been postington’d on the vulgarian electrico-blogge, vulgarly titled “Peggy Noonan’s Opinion Blog,” that mine […]

Huff, and puff! Thine KangarooLand Fish-Serpent, the estimable Lord Mur-Doch, hath Captur’d thine regal majesty Peggington Noonington’s banking pamphlet wordsmithery behindeth a pecuniary Magneto-Sphere. Who shallst telegramme the serf-town Locksmithe? Or perhapseth these Maginot Lines art Porous-ingtonshire… [WSJ]

Children, wenches: thou canst breathe. Chief wordsmith of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, the regal majestic and most comely Madame Queen Peggington Noonington, hath Christened and Blessed thine conservative dauphin, Scottington the Nude. This Nude Man. For only He, this sterling griffin of Man, possesseth the Royal Strength to constructeth thine Third Reich of […]

Death, it has been omnipresent this annum. Most humans have expired. This datum is known by Mme. Peggington Noonington, a prosemonger famous to children, and regal oligarch wordsmith for the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet. Peggington did not faceth the Grim Reaper this year. For someone who was born in 1820′s London, in the actual […]

It is Hell-o-ween come early, children. Gather ’round, for Dame Peggington Noonington, chief word-writer for the notable Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, hath composed a Second Weekly Article, doubleth her normal output. She worketh harder than most humans. It is her Duty and she shall performeth it, in times of national crisis, such as it […]

“Royal wordsmith Peggington Noonington, a columnist famous to children, noticed through her eye-vision powers a faint speckle of Light atop her oaken chiffonier. This perturbed her, for she had been in a trance, considering Modernity. She ordered her house slave, Mister Winston, to deliver her the object aglow at once, for Inspecktion. What was this […]

Peggington Noonington, chief female word-writer for the aristocracy’s private royal banking pamphlet, the Wall Street Journal, careth not for the Africkan dauphin appearething on so many of her Image Machine’s programmes, on Sunday. It is “boorish.” Zero of them, the Americans, wish to see this Human. [Huffington Post]

Today marketh the third consecutive Fri-Day in which Peggington Noonington, chief columnateur of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, has graced her “Declarations” with commentary on the foremost political debate of our time: Health Care. Your Wonkette hath attempted to compose paeans to Her Majesty’s previous two edicts, but was unable to finisheth on both […]

NERDS  2:37 pm August 21, 2009

by Jim Newell

IS NORM COLEMAN DEAD YET? Surprisingly, no! He is alive! And he’s doing the most liberal thing since the French Revolution this fall: being a teaching fellow at Harvard. His course will be called, “How To Litigate A Losing Case For Months, Just For The Fuck Of It.” (This is actually the topic of every […]