Search Results for “noonington”

Jester’s Reporte: HRH ‘Patty’ Noonington Is A Communist

  worse than seeing a mexican
Good heavens! This electronick “ABCNews.com” reporte suggesteth that regent-lord HRH Peggington Noonington, chief wordsmithingtonshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, is a Communiste, as though She keepeth court with textile-craffters or Chicagoe Africkans. Her Highness Queen Noonington also doth not beareth the street-commoner name “Patty.” Wereth that her name, She wouldst have killedington’d Hersel...

Obama Gay-Charms All Conservatives, Including Mme. Noonan!

  sexy parties
More details have emerged from Barack Obama’s haughty War Dinner at George Will’s chateau last night in the rich Maryland suburbs (isn’t that area reserved for the rich Democrats, while the rich Republicans have McLean, Virginia all to themselves? Something to consider! Or not!) The early pool report mentioned that Bill Kristol and David Brooks were there, representing the New York Times tokenista/National Greatness contingent...

  fridays with peggy
PEGGY NOONAN WRITES HUMDRUM COLUMN THIS SEVEN-DAY!: Can you even believe it? She just has a bunch of modestly valid points jumping all over the place, but nothing about seeing a Mexican or viewing a “rabbity forest creature darting among the hedgerows” on her television machine. Has our Miss Noonington been reading Wonkette’s weekly scholarly criticism of “Declarations” and decided to tone down the neo-Victorianism...

Peggy Noonan Takes Delightful Cab Ride Down Fifth Avenue!

  peggy's world
Death, it has been omnipresent this annum. Most humans have expired. This datum is known by Mme. Peggington Noonington, a prosemonger famous to children, and regal oligarch wordsmith for the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet. Peggington did not faceth the Grim Reaper this year. For someone who was born in 1820′s London, in the actual Buckingham Palace, this is rare. It is rare for a human to survive into her ninth score. We know this,...

Peggy Noonan Is Writing About Furries Now Y’all

  couldn't she just go to bronycon instead?
Dame Peggington Noonington has a sad, you guys, because she’s apparently the last person in America to hear this joke: I have a friend who once told me the difference between cats and dogs. When you get up in the morning and feed your dog he looks up at you and thinks: “She comes, finds my food and pours it for me — she must be a god.” A cat thinks: “She comes, finds my food and pours it out for me — I must b...

  peggy's world
PEGGY NOONAN TRUMPETS BAWDY CONCUPISCENCE TOWARD FELLOW LADYINGTON NANCY PELOSI: Word-writing human Peggington Noonington loveth Ronald Reagan much in today’s edition of her holy word-compilation, “Declarations.” But doth she loveth the visage of Nancington Pelosi the more? “At public events Mrs. Pelosi always tries to look engaged, a pleasant half-smile on her face. This is a courtesy women in their middle years unconsc...

Peggy Noonan Chastiseth Thine Wolf-Childe Sarah Palin!

  peggy's world
Thursdayington, July Nintheth. Sky Princess Peggington Noonington, famous to children for her sparkling, weekly collection-of-paragraphs in the Wall Street Journal business pamphlet, looks at the Street, 100 miles beneath her Park Avenue Penthouse. She seeth seven Motorcars velocitating through an Intersection of Roads, but no Mexicans. (One time, Peggy Noonan saw a Mexican.) Seven, an odd number: it meaneth, “Tonightington, I disliketh S...

Peggy Noonan Despises This Devil’s Medal, And Its Recipient

  peggy's world
It is Hell-o-ween come early, children. Gather ’round, for Dame Peggington Noonington, chief word-writer for the notable Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, hath composed a Second Weekly Article, doubleth her normal output. She worketh harder than most humans. It is her Duty and she shall performeth it, in times of national crisis, such as it was Friday. That was when disastrous monster Barack Obama accepted his Nobel Peace Prize, from...

 
SOMEONE HELP PEGGY NOONAN, POST HASTE: Everyone we have a very severe problem facing our country: Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan is “finding it hard to feel truly upset about what [Jeremiah] Wright has said.” Medic? MEDIC? Not even 1,000 words of Noonington’s mellifluous prose could get her to feel upset about Jeremiah Wright. WHY CAN’T PEGGY NOONAN MAKE HERSELF GET UPSET ABOUT THIS? [WSJ]...

Peggy Noonan Hath Been Captured By Electronicks

  peggy's world
Huff, and puff! Thine KangarooLand Fish-Serpent, the estimable Lord Mur-Doch, hath Captur’d thine regal majesty Peggington Noonington’s banking pamphlet wordsmithery behindeth a pecuniary Magneto-Sphere. Who shallst telegramme the serf-town Locksmithe? Or perhapseth these Maginot Lines art Porous-ingtonshire… [WSJ]...

Peggy Noonan Dismayed By Manner In Which Political Consiglieri Comport Themselves!

  fridays with peggy
America’s arbitrarily reginal czarina of letterputtingtogether, Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan, is in a tit-bit of a snit! She refuses to deign either American candidate for Leader as possessing the requisite traits to divert the West’s neo-mercantilist econometric interplay system from almost certain gloom and/or “doom”! Tut tut, what rogues, what Beelzebubs of fiery pagan disposition, are suppressing the ha...

Peggy Noonan Flew On An Aer-Plane With Africkans!

  peggy's world
A fortnight or deux hath passed since our last installment of “Fridays with Peggy,” for one must endure days of insomnia and procure a boat-ship‘s worth of les stimulati — what they in the Scientific Trade know as Amphet-a-Mines — to pen an adequate Noonington critique, and it hath taken many a seven-day to locate a sufficiently inventoried Medick. Let us not waste Reagan’s dear time today, then, to reach the...

Peggy Noonan Disenchanted With Current State Of Political Affairs!

  what a fun week!
America’s Princess of Light, Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan, has adopted a somber tone for today’s edition of “Declarations.” While sipping on a petite tumbler of butterscotch liqueur and eating pasty crumpets, Noonan writes about how the financial crisis has shown how terribly inept either candidate would be at fixing America’s problems, because neither of them is Zeus or Jesus — basically, how c...

Your Wonkette’s Top 10 Political Teevee Clips Of 2008!

  year in rear view
Thanks for your suggestions, America! We mostly agreed with your favorites, although a few “dark horses” made the final list because why not. Also, these are only teevee clips, not random D.I.Y. YouTubes of, what, Lego Sarah Palin in steampunk goggles fighting Darth Vader (Ron Paul) the fire-breathing dog with a sack of dildos & unicorn blood. (Someone please make that.) And so above — as a bonus! — we’ve pos...

Peggy Noonan Is Out Of Pills!

  peggy's world
Thursday, early evening. She turns the key to her Dungeon of Medicines, an isolated pod floating atop the highest vistas of Park Avenue. It is constructed of the finest Metals and can only be reached by rickshaw. Even after all these years, the scent of myrrh lingers. A glass of scotch is poured and she takes to the shelves. Tonight will be a night of barbiturates. Full bottles of Amytal, Nembutal, Seconal, et. al, are downed within seconds. Sh...

Let Us Honor The Troops With Peggy Noonan, A Columnist Famous To Children

  peggy's world
While you hamburger sacks may conceive of Memorial Day as little more than a free 24-hour session of experimental masturbation R&D, it is actually a “memorial” to those Americans, throughout our History, who have laid down their lives in the service of the King. Your Wonkette would like to thank and honor The Troops past and present, in Mexico and Afghanistan, in Vietnam and VIETNAM. Because as notable American word-writer Pe...

Peggy Noonan Wishes To Disremember Those Uncouth Torture Episodes

  where are my batty pills
Oh fignewtons, someone telephone the slaves at Grey Gardens, it seems a tenant has meandered through the gate during her noontime perambulations and landed on the television set! Here is Ms. Peggy Noonington on the George Stephanopoulos program alongside George Will. George Will! He must have forwarded Peggy e-mails about this torture memo business, and again, THAT IS NOT NICE, you know how she gets. She wants to forget she ever read the wretc...

Obama Must Make Sweet Love To That Racist Rodeo Clown, Peggy Noonan Mumbles Into Her Morning Pick-Me-Up

  How is Peggy Noonan making us stabby today?
Dame Peggington Noonington — cat blogger; astute observer of the painfully obvious; and longtime sufferer of a crappy hotel room, thanks to Obama — has some more unsolicited advice for the president, which he should definitely follow if he wants to be like that great bipartisan messiah, Saint Ronald Jesus Reagan, in His name we pray. Here are today’s words-she-wishes-she-could-put-in-Reagan’s-mouth-like-the-good-old-days...

Peggy Noonan Disparages ‘Menacing If Increasingly Antique’ Black Rapsmiths!

  peggy's world
There’s really only one sentence in Lady Peggy Noonington de Rothschild’s Wall Street Journal column today worth reading, but it is, as les Française would say, un crescendo magnifique. (PSST: WE DON’T KNOW THE FROG WORD FOR “CRESCENDO.”) Allez: “The phrase I often worriedly think of when I see, on television, gross violence, cruelty, a vulgarity of character, erectile dysfunction ads, news reports that refle...

Peggy Noonan Abhors This Tasteless Measure To Bring Health To Humans!

  peggy's world
Today marketh the third consecutive Fri-Day in which Peggington Noonington, chief columnateur of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, has graced her “Declarations” with commentary on the foremost political debate of our time: Health Care. Your Wonkette hath attempted to compose paeans to Her Majesty’s previous two edicts, but was unable to finisheth on both occasions due to Hyper-Tension. Dissecting Madame’s attitud...

Peggy Noonan Squeezes In Seven Or Eight Words On Daily Show

  a shining city on the pill
America’s writerly regal Queen Of Inkwells & Wordsmithery, Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan, was last night’s guest on comedy’s Daily Show. She was in top form early on and we laughed at literally every word she said. And yet, what happened here? The way she so delicately orates to the mortals about our current epoch… that bizarre combination of Victorian couth and Renaissance humanism with an aftertaste...