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PEGGY'S WORLD  4:20 pm August 31, 2012

Peggy Noonan Saw a (New) Mexican (Governor)

by Jim Newell

Greeteries, subjects. It is I, thy lord Mme. HRH Miss Peggington Noonington, queene word-smither of thine Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, and good heavens, the thingingtons that I Hath Seen in Tampa, polis of knaves and Deville Rays. Myne dispatchery hath been postington’d on the vulgarian electrico-blogge, vulgarly titled “Peggy Noonan’s Opinion Blog,” that mine [...]

WORSE THAN SEEING A MEXICAN  7:24 pm April 22, 2012

Jester’s Reporte: HRH ‘Patty’ Noonington Is A Communist

by Jim Newell

Good heavens! This electronick “ABCNews.com” reporte suggesteth that regent-lord HRH Peggington Noonington, chief wordsmithingtonshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, is a Communiste, as though She keepeth court with textile-craffters or Chicagoe Africkans.

PEGGY'S WORLD  9:37 pm March 11, 2010

Peggy Noonan Hath Been Captured By Electronicks

by Jim Newell

Huff, and puff! Thine KangarooLand Fish-Serpent, the estimable Lord Mur-Doch, hath Captur’d thine regal majesty Peggington Noonington’s banking pamphlet wordsmithery behindeth a pecuniary Magneto-Sphere. Who shallst telegramme the serf-town Locksmithe? Or perhapseth these Maginot Lines art Porous-ingtonshire… [WSJ]

WHEN SOCIOPATHS GATHER AT THE SAME TABLE  5:13 pm January 19, 2010

Peggy Noonan Seeth The Divine In Scott Brown!

by Jim Newell

Children, wenches: thou canst breathe. Chief wordsmith of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, the regal majestic and most comely Madame Queen Peggington Noonington, hath Christened and Blessed thine conservative dauphin, Scottington the Nude. This Nude Man. For only He, this sterling griffin of Man, possesseth the Royal Strength to constructeth thine Third Reich of [...]

PEGGY'S WORLD  4:53 pm November 20, 2009

Peggy Noonan Takes Delightful Cab Ride Down Fifth Avenue!

by Jim Newell

Death, it has been omnipresent this annum. Most humans have expired. This datum is known by Mme. Peggington Noonington, a prosemonger famous to children, and regal oligarch wordsmith for the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet. Peggington did not faceth the Grim Reaper this year. For someone who was born in 1820′s London, in the actual [...]

PEGGY'S WORLD  3:48 pm October 12, 2009

Peggy Noonan Despises This Devil’s Medal, And Its Recipient

by Jim Newell

It is Hell-o-ween come early, children. Gather ’round, for Dame Peggington Noonington, chief word-writer for the notable Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, hath composed a Second Weekly Article, doubleth her normal output. She worketh harder than most humans. It is her Duty and she shall performeth it, in times of national crisis, such as it [...]

PEGGY'S WORLD  5:04 pm September 25, 2009

Deleted: ‘Peggy Noonan Will Educate The Young Princes, Now’

by Jim Newell

“Royal wordsmith Peggington Noonington, a columnist famous to children, noticed through her eye-vision powers a faint speckle of Light atop her oaken chiffonier. This perturbed her, for she had been in a trance, considering Modernity. She ordered her house slave, Mister Winston, to deliver her the object aglow at once, for Inspecktion. What was this [...]

PEGGY'S WORLD  1:13 pm September 21, 2009

Peggy Noonan Is Displeased With Africkan’s ‘Boorish’ Siege Of Television Boxes

by Jim Newell

Peggington Noonington, chief female word-writer for the aristocracy’s private royal banking pamphlet, the Wall Street Journal, careth not for the Africkan dauphin appearething on so many of her Image Machine’s programmes, on Sunday. It is “boorish.” Zero of them, the Americans, wish to see this Human. [Huffington Post]

PEGGY'S WORLD  4:55 pm August 21, 2009

Peggy Noonan Abhors This Tasteless Measure To Bring Health To Humans!

by Jim Newell

Today marketh the third consecutive Fri-Day in which Peggington Noonington, chief columnateur of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, has graced her “Declarations” with commentary on the foremost political debate of our time: Health Care. Your Wonkette hath attempted to compose paeans to Her Majesty’s previous two edicts, but was unable to finisheth on both [...]

NERDS  2:37 pm August 21, 2009

by Jim Newell

IS NORM COLEMAN DEAD YET? Surprisingly, no! He is alive! And he’s doing the most liberal thing since the French Revolution this fall: being a teaching fellow at Harvard. His course will be called, “How To Litigate A Losing Case For Months, Just For The Fuck Of It.” (This is actually the topic of every [...]

PEGGY'S WORLD  4:41 pm July 10, 2009

Peggy Noonan Chastiseth Thine Wolf-Childe Sarah Palin!

by Jim Newell

Thursdayington, July Nintheth. Sky Princess Peggington Noonington, famous to children for her sparkling, weekly collection-of-paragraphs in the Wall Street Journal business pamphlet, looks at the Street, 100 miles beneath her Park Avenue Penthouse. She seeth seven Motorcars velocitating through an Intersection of Roads, but no Mexicans. (One time, Peggy Noonan saw a Mexican.) Seven, an [...]

NOT SO GOOD WITHOUT YR TELLY PROMPTER HAW HAW  7:06 pm June 23, 2009

Obama Omits Various Words During Press Conference

by Jim Newell

EVEN MORE: “Jackrabbit,” “dildo,” “Uzbekistan,” “Martin Luther King Jr.,” “farrier,” “Jennifer Fitzgerald,” “coconut,” “hobbit,” “goat,” “Ezekiel,” “laser blasters,” “Bob Seger,” “bulldyke,” “potato,” “constable,” “midwife,” “Oberon,” “Noonington,” “Dutch oven,” “Raptor Invasion,” “Becton,” “guillotine,” “sprinkles,” “towelhead,” “Ocarina of Time,” “pectoral,” “vocoder,” “retarded,” “mannequin,” “Patrick Appel,” “collated,” “Munich,” “Choire,” “turpentine,” “knickerbocker,” “double penetration,” “Robocop,” “sprite,” and… well, that’s [...]

PEGGY'S WORLD  5:08 pm June 5, 2009

by Jim Newell

PEGGY NOONAN TRUMPETS BAWDY CONCUPISCENCE TOWARD FELLOW LADYINGTON NANCY PELOSI: Word-writing human Peggington Noonington loveth Ronald Reagan much in today’s edition of her holy word-compilation, “Declarations.” But doth she loveth the visage of Nancington Pelosi the more? “At public events Mrs. Pelosi always tries to look engaged, a pleasant half-smile on her face. This is [...]

PEGGY'S WORLD  6:15 pm May 22, 2009

Let Us Honor The Troops With Peggy Noonan, A Columnist Famous To Children

by Jim Newell

While you hamburger sacks may conceive of Memorial Day as little more than a free 24-hour session of experimental masturbation R&D, it is actually a “memorial” to those Americans, throughout our History, who have laid down their lives in the service of the King. Your Wonkette would like to thank and honor The Troops past [...]

WHERE ARE MY BATTY PILLS  1:46 pm April 20, 2009

Peggy Noonan Wishes To Disremember Those Uncouth Torture Episodes

by Jim Newell

Oh fignewtons, someone telephone the slaves at Grey Gardens, it seems a tenant has meandered through the gate during her noontime perambulations and landed on the television set! Here is Ms. Peggy Noonington on the George Stephanopoulos program alongside George Will. George Will! He must have forwarded Peggy e-mails about this torture memo business, and [...]

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