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Wingnuts Worried Their Anusburgers Sacrificed To Wrong ‘Demon-God’
Watch out, American Jesus fans! According to a couple of wingnuts somewhere, the poop-snausage pizza you're eating from the Papa John's might've been sacrificed...
Michelle Obama Halts War On Obesity And Anusburgers
Drudge sirens and frantic arm flapping: a Washington Post reporter saw "War on Childhood Obesity" Gen. Michelle Obama over at the new Shake Shack...
Oprah, WalMart & USDA Want ‘Healthier’ Processed Anusburgers
The U.S. Department of Agriculture promotes the sale of as much U.S. agricultural products as possible, which means soaked in poison and processed out...
Let Us Now Praise Famous K-Lo Recipes: Carcass Stuffed With 10 Hamburgers
Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people...
K-Lo Posts Her Dream Recipe: Carcass Stuffed With 10 Hamburgers
Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people...
Goodbye Anusburger, Hello Fecesburger!
Unsatisfied with a diet of subsidized-corn subsidized-oil subsidized industrial cattle farm e.coli anusburgers? Japan's wacky scientists have a treat for you!
It's being called the...
575-Pound Arizona Anusburger Mascot Guy Dead At 29
It seems we're working on an "Arizona Trilogy" today, as part of "Trilogy Week" here at Wonkette. (Yesterday was "Americans Unleash Vile Hate On...
Did Obama Murder This Oklahoma Congressional Candidate Last Night? Probably
So far, nobody's calling it a conspiracy, but it's the only reasonable conclusion: just days before the election, a nice old man running...
Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches.
Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a wire brush to our open browser tabs and bring you...
Is Our National Legislative Sh*tmuffin Of The Year Ted Cruz? We Will Give You Two Guesses And The Answer Is Yes
Yes, yes, we know: you thought it was going to be Louie Gohmert. There is no disputing it -- the man really is the...
McDonalds’ Holiday Advice For Workers: Maybe You Could Sell Your Second Kidney?
America's purveyors of Anus Burgers aren't really all that big on the idea of paying a fair wage to their employees, but it's nice...
Republican Party’s Favorability Hits All-Time Low, Proving That We Must Repeal Obamacare
You see that picture up there, with the jaggedy lines? It's a "graph," and it shows that 28% of Americans have a favorable view...
Striking Fast Food Workers Hope To Be Treated As Well As Lab Animals Someday
OK, so here's a video that you really DO want to see -- and we PROMISE there's no Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh or...
Has-Been Creepazoid ‘Joe The Plumber’ To Run Unsuccessfully For Congress
OH FINALLY: here is this thing we briefly forgot about but will now post "for comedy" announcing that Samuel "Joe the Grifter Tax-Delinquent Fake...
World’s Governments Can’t Decide How Radioactive Everything Is
More happy cherry blossom news from Japan! Extremely radioactive water has been discovered outside one of the Fukushima reactors, which means there's a good...
Stabilize Your Blood Sugar and Dodge Balls To End Diabetes
In this great age of anus burgers and bacon-covered doughnuts, most of us will be killed by diabetes -- and that means it would...
