Countdown To Imspeechment

A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech

Real wrath of God type stuff
We hear that the president’s giving a speech tonight — not that the broadcast teevee networks will bother carrying it — and while the full details of the executive action aren’t out yet, Republicans know it’s pretty bad. Here are just a few of the Psychic ...
  blah blah blah

‘Democrat’ Jim Webb Would Like To Be The Next Ronald Reagan Of You

Nope
Oh, hey there, Jim Webb, what’ve you been up to since you stopped being a “Democratic” senator from Virginia? Been writing some books? Been private sectoring, for America and freedom? Been reconsidering whether ladies can serve in the military after all? Ah, looks like ...
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Here’s How A White Supremacist Set The GOP’s Immigration Policy (Video)

Amused Maddow is best Maddow
Wednesday’s Rachel Maddow Show begins with another of those rambly goofy stories that make you wonder whether a News Point is on the way, and then gets to the point and you say “Aha!” We won’t even summarize the first five minutes, because you deserve the fun of watching ...
  Here have some news n stuff

America Is Freezing Cold, So Al Gore’s An Idiot. Again.

Whatever, he should just move to Hawaii
Hooray! It’s that time of year when it’s freezing cold, and everyone who Is Not A Scientist but is pretty damned sure real scientists must be wrong about global warming makes “jokes” about global warming because, duh, it is cold so how could the planet be warm? Like Rep. ...
  Blue Crossed Fingers

Here Is A Funny Obamacare Ad, For Funny Joke Times Hooray

You'll be OK. Probably
With Obamacare open enrollment moving right along — and so successful that even John Boehner is keeping his Obamacare — the Illinois ACA exchange, Get Covered Illinois, is running a nifty new ad to inform you that there actually are some no-cost alternatives to having health ...
  please shut the piehole already

People Continue Enabling Mitt Romney’s Belief That He Is Still Relevant For Some Reason

Ha ha! Hair gel!
Usually when a candidate for president gets crushed in the election like a vat of grapes in an I Love Lucy episode, he has the decency to disappear from public view, maybe take up a cause like building houses for the poor (Jimmy Carter) or global warming (Al Gore) or returning to the Senate to ...
  what is lawful?

President Obama To Double-Dog Dare Republicans To Impeach Him. On Live TV!

Bring. It.
Republicans have made it very clear they do not want to have to impeach President Obama — unless he forces them to do it by, for example, insisting on doing his job for the next two years. They are particularly concerned that the president will issue an executive order on immigration ...
  Bavarian Nazis...I Hate Bavarian Nazis

German Town Punks Neo-Nazis, Raises Funds To Fight Neo-Nazis

Sure, darling, tomorrow is all yours.
We have to admit we love a good caper where the bad guys get burned — that moment at the end of The Sting (spoiler warning for a 1973 movie everyone should’ve seen by the age of 14 anyway) where Robert Shaw realizes that his great big bet is all gone, for instance. We’d like ...
  Pot And Kettle Reach Bipartisan Agreement

Jimmy Swaggart’s Pastor Son Sad That Gays Are Beheading Jesus

OMG, too late!
Remember Jimmy Swaggart, the fire and brimstone televangelist who sort of semi-disappeared in disgrace in the early ’90s after news broke of his visits to prostitutes? He gave a big teary “I have sinned” speech, the prostitute told the squicky details of how they never ...
  We must destroy science to save science

GOP So Mad Someone’s Doing Science On Crazy Internet Trolls

Rep. David Schweikert (R-Defender of
A group of meddling congressional Democrats is planning to stick up for science in the House chamber this afternoon — but don’t worry, their post-enlightenment nonsense won’t be tolerated. The action comes in response to the Secret Science Reform Act of 2014, sponsored by ...
  Dupe Dupe Dupe Dupe Of Oil Oil Oil

Dems Reject Mary Landrieu Job Preservation Act, Beautiful Tar Sands Pipeline

Now how can we show our love for the tar sands?
This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Clean Gas and Clean Coal and Clean Oil Spills and Clean Tar Sands and Word Salad. In a vote that either killed the economy forever or rescued the environment forever, the U.S. Senate last night fell one vote short of passing a bill ...
  Get baked on shrooms for dinner

Haven’t Put Horseradish And Mushrooms On Your Baked Potato? What Are You, An Idiot?

Consider the stuffed baked potato. Can you see it? Reconsider the vulgarities of hot potato buffets and imagine your potato fully realized, with the addition of creamy horseradish sauce and wine-drenched mushrooms. Now have a wealth of sides. Sautéed mushrooms improve everything. I weep for the ...
  A Noble Spirit Embiggens The Smallest Man

Indiana Governor To Poors: Eat This!

He seems nice.
Indiana Gov. Mike Pence has some thoughts about the poor, and those thoughts are quite inspiring! You see, what with more people entering the workforce, Indiana’s Family and Social Services Administration decided not to renew a waiver from work requirements for people on food stamps, ...
  A Noble Spirit Embiggens The Smallest Man

CNN’s Don Lemon: If Bill Cosby Rapes You, Just Bite His Dick

Rape prevention tips
NOTE: Just so you know, we’re going to talk about dick-biting. This is not by choice; it was forced upon us by CNN’s Don Lemon. So if you have a problem with dick-biting, you should lay back and think about the weather, because it turns out that dick-biting is also an excellent way ...
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: DuPont Plant Knows Nothing About Its Own Toxic Leak Except That It’s Safe (Video)

And yes, the guy who said 'just drive around' to find out what chemicals are stored in your town is now Governor of Texas
Rachel Maddow starts off this segment with a bit of history: Texas just love industry, and sees no reason why a lot of unnecessary government regulations should get in the way of profits. Oh sure, sometimes a fertilizer plant blows up and kills 15 people, but they chose to live near/work at a ...
  Here have some news n stuff

John Boehner to Medicare: Drop Dead!

Finally a reason to smile
For a guy who keeps insisting he will impeach the hell out of Obamacare, Weeper of the House John Boehner sure does seem to like it. A LOT. Now that he is 65 years orange, he’s eligible for Social Security and Medicare, as his good friend across the aisle and excellent Twitter troll Nancy ...
  This Is The Viral Video You're Looking For

Jedi Activists Fight Street Mind-Tricks With Inspiring Video

Never get out of the sandcrawler. Goddamn right!
Oh, sure, it’s been a little while since the “10 Hours of a Woman Walking in NYC” video was Quite The Big Deal, but it’s never too late for a really good parody. And here is an admirable one: “10 Hours of Princess Leia Walking in NYC,” featuring characters ...
  dept. of having many leather-bound books

Serious Pundit Ron Fournier Tries To Defend Himself, Re-Steps On His Own Dick

Important thoughts from a man who looks like a thumb.
Poop spigot Ron Fournier took quite a hiding on the Internet yesterday over his regular outbreak of “both sides-ism,” and rightly so. Today he is back to try to explain himself with a whiny and defensive column that still manages to be flat-out wrong. If yesterday’s piece was the dumpster fire ...
  Science Is For Dorks

Mitch McConnell Is Not A Scientist, Except When He Is

SCIENCE, BETCH
Mitch McConnell is not a scientist — just ask him! The next Senate Majority Leader does not care much for science, with all its high-falutin’ book-larnin’ and its incomprehensible metric system and what have you. However, when it comes to the Keystone XL pipeline, McConnell ...
  The Master's A Tool

Massachusetts Parents Freaked Out By Textbook That Says Not All Slaves Were Tortured

Remember how the Teaheads in Chandler Gilbert (Dok’s geographic aphasia strikes again), Arizona, are on the cusp of murdering some biology textbooks because the books say that abortion is a thing that exists? Well, it’s time for a big ol’ “Both Sides Do It!” ...
  You’ll take this harassment and you’ll like it

Compassionate Sidewalk ‘Counselors’ Just Want Women To Stop Being Whores Is All

She's just trying to help, ya whore
Everyone knows about those lone-wolf anti-choicers who maybe go a little bit too far with their cause when they, say, bomb an abortion clinic or shoot a doctor dead in his own church. But those are the exceptions. Most anti-choice activists are harmless and sweet, and they really do just care ...
  Wingnut Wish List

Mississippi Group Gonna Make Christianity The State Religion Without Violating Constitution, Just You See

Sure Why Not?
In a great victory for freedumb, the “Magnolia State Heritage Campign” is pushing a ballot initiative that would finally give the state’s Christian heritage the recognition that it deserves, writing into law that Mississippi is a “principally Christian and ...