What, us racist?

Bleeding-hearts have been blaming Great Britain's disastrous Brexit referendum on too-obvious factors like racist, xenophobic political parties that backed the Leave side (as if racism is even a real thing any more). Donald Trump has...
Oh, it's this asshole again

Horrible bile monster and Maine Gov. Paul LePage hates poor people, but keeps getting federal funds intended to help them. What to do, what to do...?

Can you believe the mean media made fun of Donald Trump for being on a golf course?

Antonin Scalia did not get to write a dissent, because the devil won't let you do that in hell.

Get out your vegan artisanal freerange lube of choice, because now WE MASTURBATE!

Wonkette Business

Do you know the story of Judith and Holofernes? Judith was a rad Jewish woman, and Holofernes was a ... Roman? general who wanted to rape her. She was like "cool, Holofernes, I will...

How long has it been since you examined your box? Do you like to examine it in the morning, when the sunlight hits it just right? When you examine your box, tell us, is...
Truck Fump never looked so good

Do you, like all sentient beings on the planet, have a violently strong distaste for presidential candidate Donald J. Trump (nee Drumpf)? Of course you do! Do you, like so very many others, feel the...

Wonkette Bazaar



Could we borrow a little of that Ebola panic?

The GOP can't be bothered to save the Zika babies, because they're too busy saving the babies from Planned Parenthood! Wait, what?
Those eyes were made to run for the legislature

A Texas woman shot and killed her daughters and was then shot by police after a family argument. This was a completely anomalous incident, as the vast majority of gun owners never break the law.

Ivanka Trump lies like that thing on her father's head.

Last year, we wondered at you just how stupid you were legally permitted to be in Texas; now, thanks to the nine (all-Republican!) unelected (?) judges in robe on the Texas Supreme Court, we...
Beast Jebus is BEST Jebus!

Wonkette made fun of Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump's pretended outreach to evangelicals. Clearly, we hate Christians and want to impose Sharia. Duh.

Greetings, you scandalous scallywags! It's time once more for your weekly recap of pseudoscientific psychopaths, the Snake Oil Bulletin!
Which of these men would YOU rather hug?

How do you solve a problem like Jim Lankford?

While the United Kingdom was busy losing its goddamn mind Friday, Donald Trump took the time to remind everyone that the the fall of the British Empire was only the beginning of the...
we all did a business

It's your week in corporate malfeasance. Get out your pitchforks!

You come vote for the Wonkette Baby in the Cute Baby Contest right now!

What is our president Barack O'Sexytime up to on this lovely Friday, as the world reels from the UK's vote to leave the European Union? Oh, just gay stuff, because that's what he always...
We'll defend to the death your right to be a smug, entitled little jerk baby

The University of California-Irvine apparently forgot that government entities can't ban loathsome opinions. Are they trying to confirm rightwing stereotypes?
The Sarah Palin Farknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

Sarah is so happy the UK stopped the One World Government in its tracks.
You do realize we're going to keep the military bases...

The Brexit vote has Texas secessionists all excited, because every now and then they need to be mentioned in the media. And then laughed at.

Is the FBI missing something? Is everybody else missing something?

Scott Adams explains why V-neck sweaters and detergent commercials will motivate humiliated men to hit the voting booth for Donald Trump. Obviously.
He is an actual, biological tortoise. And NRA stooge.

Mitch McConnell, faced with the risk of allowing a vote on a widely supported gun bill that the NRA didn't like, pulled a pretty neat switcheroo. Give the old coot credit for being crafty.

Don't you want to read a NICE story on Friday morning? Yes you do, CLICK CLICK CLICK!

Just the latest example of 'Crazy Ass White Dude Terrorism.'