Three Nice Things About Today, Then Back To Meanness (YOUR OPEN THREAD!)

Don't worry, we're only saying nice SHALLOW things.

Purge Of White House Website Complete: Gays And Climate Change No Longer Exist

Well, what else did you expect?

DeploraBall Guests Told Not To Heil Hitler, And No Dirty Dancing Either

Also Jim Hoft, Stupidest Man On The Internet, will now be an official White House Correspondent.
Get ready to be sick of winning

Our Long National Nightmare Beginneth Today! Liveblogging Donald Trump’s Inauguration, Help Us Jesus

Come hang out with Wonkette today, it's safe here.

Trump’s LOW ENERGY Inauguration. Wonkagenda for Friday, January 20, 2016

Trump's can't fill his cabinet, EVERYONE is protesting, Colbert says #ThanksObama! Your morning news brief!

Do Not Ridicule That Lady Who Regrets Voting For Trump

We need all the help we can get to stop Trump, y'all. Let's not be total dicks!
Early draft obtained by Wonkette

Texas State Rep. Just Wants To Poll Muslims On How Terroristy They Are. Is That Wrong?

No wonder Texas loons weren't going insane about this last year. It's a biennial event.

Rick Perry Sorry For Being Idiot, Will Definitely Not Try Harder Next Time

Remember that time Rick Perry enjoyed playing on the couch with Al Franken? Rick Perry remembers.

Trump Spending Cuts Gonna Do Austerity To Us, And It Is Going To Be AWESOME!

Well at least we'll all have the Kingdom of Heaven.

CBS Anchor Conducts The Thorough ‘Pizzagate’ Investigation No One Asked For

Remember how we'd laugh and laugh at the Weekly World News as we waited in line at the supermarket? That is our real news now.

Who Is Trolling Trump Today? TCM, Elia Kazan, And Zombie Andy Griffith

It's a great movie, but not nearly cynical enough.
Ain't no party like a Pyongyang party, 'cuase a Pyongyang party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY

Military Parades? We Did Nazi That Coming!

Maybe some bread and circuses, too.
He looks a little like George Tenet.

What Ridiculous Lie That Makes No Sense Is Trump Making Up For No Reason Today?

At least Stalin put some effort into his staged photos. SAD! WEAK! PATHETIC!

Donald Trump Loves Reading Books. Here’s A Book. He Loves Reading It.

Books: What have they ever done for us?

Did You Get This Nice Letter From President Obama Too?

HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING
Never Forget

Rick Santorum To Bring Word Of God And/Or Rick Santorum To Heathen CNN

All out of frothy jokes.
OMG the socialists are coming! Need Moar GOLD!

Let’s Watch Steve Mnuchin Evict Somebody Live At His Senate Confirmation Hearing!

Park your butt down, we got us a livestream!

Get Well Soon, Poppy and Bar Bush

Look this good when 92 you are, you will not.

It’s The Final Countdown! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 19, 2017

Trump's nominees get kicked around, Bernie Sanders is a fashion icon, and DC throws Mike Pence a big, gay dance party!

NO, MICHELLE OBAMA, DON’T LEAVE US, PLEASE COME BACK!

This is your OPEN THREAD, where you will cry at a Michelle Obama video.

New York Times May Have Cleared Trump Of Russian Collusion A *Tad* Prematurely

This never would have happened under Jill Abramson.

Obama Trolls Holy Hell Out Of Trump, By Explaining How Freedom Of Press Works

President Obama used his last news conference ever to send Donald Trump a little message about how America works.