The USA Freedom Kids want to send Jon Stewart and Cher to Canadia.
The real mystery is who's arming them.

With six gun attacks by toddlers on Americans in the last week, the number of deaths and injuries (five deaths, one injury) caused by armed children now exceeds the number of Americans (four) killed...

By now, we all know what happened that fateful night in Benghazi. Hillary Clinton made FOUR DEAD AMERICANS while she ate bon bons and phone-lesbianed Huma Abedin, because she was home alone THE WHOLE...

So a couple days ago, GQ ran a profile of Melania Trump that portrayed her as a pretty smart woman (hinting that she's actually smarter than her husband) who's private, ambitious, and like Donald,...

Oh look, it's another TOTALLY NORMAL REACTION to how Target has issued a policy that says people can use whichever restroom matches their gender identity. We are beginning to wonder what wingnuts actually do in...

Wonkette Business

Hello citizens! It is I, Sara Benincasa, longtime Wonkette contributor and longer-time Wonkette commenter. I am here to tell you about my new book, Real Artists Have Day Jobs, which you can obtain via...

How long has it been since you examined your box? Do you like to examine it in the morning, when the sunlight hits it just right? When you examine your box, tell us, is...
Truck Fump never looked so good

Do you, like all sentient beings on the planet, have a violently strong distaste for presidential candidate Donald J. Trump (nee Drumpf)? Of course you do! Do you, like so very many others, feel the...

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Yep.

The granddaddy of liberal internet news sites, Salon, has taken time off from begging the FBI to put Hillary Clinton in email jail, and urging young folk to skip voting this year if Hillary...

Hi, Meghan McCain, what's makin' a ruckus between your dumb ears today? You're so excited about how Ted Cruz tapped Carly Fiorina to be his "running mate" in the presidential race he's really not...
Thish guy... thish guy right here! I love thish guy!

A day after Donald Trump proved his mastery of Foreign Policy, former Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight offered his own foreign policy genius to the Trump campaign. In a speech Thursday in Evansville, Indiana,...

Roy Moore, chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, is a magnificent buffoon. You 'member him. He's the justice who's been standing in the courthouse door, trying to block the big gay U.S. Supreme Court...
It's Redefine Things Thursday, Apparently

Now that Donald Trump has proven his ability to read a speech from a teleprompter, thus making him the master of all foreign policy, he figures it's time to give his socio-political movement a...

Where is harpy/constant rag/culture scold Andrea Peyser when we need her? Has she forsaken and abandoned the New York Post? Certainly, under her gimlet eye the Post could never run what at first glance...

John Boehner called Ted Cruz many mean names like "Lucifer" and "miserable son of a bitch" and "Ted Cruz." This is old news from hours ago. But now Ted Cruz has responded, and it...

Hey, here's a new and different kind of gay-hatin' law that just got signed in Tennessee! All over the country, we're getting used to laws barring transgenders from pee-pee time (for Jesus, and to protect...
What? It's a flower is all

A Michigan substitute teacher has been fired for saying the word "vagina" out loud in an art classroom while discussing the imagery of Georgia O'Keeffe's paintings of flowers, under a school policy requiring instructors...

'I think the only thing she has got going is she’s a woman,' Trump told Matt Lauer on the Today Show.
Scary Monsters then, Scary Monsters now

A top fundraiser for Sen. John McCain was arrested Tuesday in a Phoenix meth lab bust -- or at least, according to the very careful phrasing in the Arizona Republic, Emily Pitha is a...

Carly Fiorina is doing that thing again, the thing that always happens when she opens her mouth. Yes, she is lying! But what things is she saying so far, now that she is Ted...

In a novel bit of legal reasoning, an Oklahoma state appeals court has decided that under Oklahoma law, oral sex with a person who's completely unconscious isn't actually a crime. They're not unsympathetic to...
Nope, can't take the Ferrari to prison with you.

Funtimes at the US Supreme Court! In hearing an appeal to former Virginia Governor and current felon Bob McDonnell's conviction for Duke Cunningham levels of bribe-taking, the court seemed to be questioning whether federal...
Dirty mouth!

John Boehner is easy, breezy, and beautiful these days, ever since he sobbed his way out of his position as speaker of the House. We can only imagine how many adult beverages he's had...

In Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five, there's a lovely Kilgore Trout story-within-a-story called "The Gospel From Outer Space." An alien came to Earth, studied Christianity very carefully, and concluded that the true message of the Gospels...
Yeah, we just used this. But it fits.

Maine Gov. Paul LePage, not a man given to patience, reason, or indeed any known habits of civilized humans, abruptly stormed out of a dedication ceremony at the University of Maine at Farmington Tuesday...

Uh oh, James O'Keefe, doer of wingnut "exposés" that don't expose much of anything, besides what a dishonest fucking creep James O'Keefe is, has done another thing. He has gotten RIGHT to the heart...

Y'all, the child senator from Arkansas, Tom Cotton, is mad enough to tittyfuck a swallow right now! Surprise, it has to do with how Cotton still thinks he's the president of Obama's Iran foreign...

It's been almost a week since Prince left to go teach Heaven how to Gett Off, and we are still sad, but that doesn't mean we are not dancing! Which is good, because it's...