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Those were the days.

About five years ago, Roseanne Barr blocked me on Twitter.

She was accusing Lindy West of advocating “censorship of comedy” over her criticism of certain kinds of rape jokes, and I tweeted this at her in response.

You know who also probably would not have been too fond of misogynistic rape jokes? This lady right here, yelling at a truck driver with naked lady mudflaps and a bumper sticker reading “Save The Whales: Harpoon A Fat Chick.”

You know, Roseanne Conner.

Since then, in addition to taking up arms against feminists who dare to question the hilarity of misogynistic rape jokes, she also said some seriously messed up things about trans people, and has actively opposed allowing them to go to the bathroom.

To say I was disappointed by this is an understatement. I don’t want to say I “grew up idolizing” Roseanne (both the character and the person). I definitely did, but it was more than that. I was deeply, deeply grateful to her for carving out a place in the world for brash, outspoken, feminist women, for funny women, for women who didn’t look like supermodels. She was important to me and what she represented was important to me — hell, the things she represented then are things that, to this day, are deeply important to me. I fiercely defended her to my fourth-grade class after she grabbed her crotch and spat after singing the national anthem. My blood would boil every time some man disparaged her or called her loud or obnoxious. I was glad she was loud, I was glad that she was obnoxious. The more loud, obnoxious women out there, the better!

It was hard to lose that. I honestly had to “rewire” my brain to think of her in a different way. Every time I look at a picture of her, I still automatically feel the same “comfort” I used to feel, only now it’s followed by the feeling of a knife twisting in my stomach when I remember what she is like now.

Roseanne ruined herself for me a long time ago, but now she’s about to ruin Roseanne Conner as well. She announced this weekend that, like her, Roseanne Conner would be a Trump supporter in the newly rebooted series. This, quite frankly, takes more of a leap to believe than Dan being retconned and alive again. While it may make sense for Roseanne, the person, it makes literally no sense for Roseanne the character.

Via Vulture:

“I’ve always tried to have [the show] be a true reflection of the society we live in. Half the people voted for Trump and half didn’t. It’s just realistic,” Barr told reporters at ABC’s Television Critics Association press tour panel in Pasadena, California. “I’ve always attempted to portray a realistic portrait of the American working-class people and, in fact, it was working-class people who elected Trump, so I felt that was very real and something that needed to be discussed,” she continued, “especially about polarization within the family and people actually hating other people for the way they voted, which I feel is not American.”

That is all well and good — although the idea that the working class elected Trump is a myth and his supporters were largely more well off than Clinton’s — and it’s something that would absolutely make sense for this show to address. It’s something I would, in fact, eagerly watch if I were not currently morally opposed to supporting anything she does.

However.

Are we really supposed to buy that this woman is all about tax cuts for the rich now? That she wants national Right To Work that will basically render unions powerless to fight for higher wages? That she is excitedly awaiting the day when only rich people will have health care? That she thinks some misogynistic asshole billionaire actually gives a crap about her? That she’s suddenly down with trickle-down economics?

In the episode Thanksgiving 1994, Roseanne — who is pro-choice and currently considering an abortion — goes to an abortion clinic and leads the anti-choice protesters to her mother-in-law’s house. Are we to seriously believe that she no longer cares about that right? That she’s totally down with Donald Trump picking Supreme Court candidates who are going to get rid of it?

While defending her character’s support of Trump, Roseanne said:

“One bright thing I read today is this is the lowest black unemployment for many, many years, so I think that’s great. I do support jobs for people. I think that’s a great way to fight racism is that everybody has a job.”

While it’s not terribly surprising, now, that Roseanne the person would fall for that line of bullshit, if Roseanne the character were to remain true to herself, she’d probably note that the unemployment rate for African Americans has been falling steadily for several years and that this current rate very likely has zero to do with Donald Trump. In fact, it probably has a lot more to do with the very people Roseanne Barr is now at odds with, who have been fighting for equality in the workplace.

This evolution makes no sense for the character. It makes sense only for propaganda.

There is something sinister in taking a feminist character who stood up for working people, who not only opposed racism and homophobia but thoughtfully addressed her own biases and worked to overcome them, and who — perhaps most importantly — did not fall for bullshit, and putting her on the freaking Trump train.

Roseanne Conner’s perceived moral authority when it comes to standing up for “the little guy” is what is at issue here, not simply the existence of a character who supports Donald Trump.

This is the sitcom version of the Sprint commercials featuring the guy who used to be the Verizon guy. His former association with Verizon is the only thing that gives power and veracity to his newfound love for Sprint. “Well if he changed his mind, there must be something to it!,” we automatically think. It’s like making a sequel to “Serpico” in which Serpico decides that police corruption is actually awesome. We do it on our side as well when we suddenly fall madly in love with Republicans who speak out against Trump. It’s an extremely powerful form of propaganda, made even more powerful in this instance because of how well people feel they know the character of Roseanne Conner — her intent and what motivates her — and how deeply they once identified with her.

Journalists in this day and age love going to “Trump Country” and doing puff pieces on “all the dumb hicks what live there and voted for Donald Trump” as if they are the only people who voted him in. As if an upscale conservative suburb isn’t just as much “Trump Country” as Bumpkin’s Holler, West Virginia, if not more. Yet the very reason Roseanne was so important as a show was that it threw a wrench into that narrative. Roseanne wasn’t revolutionary because it depicted a “white working class family” — other sitcoms had done that before. It was revolutionary because it did not portray those people as stupid, like The Beverly Hillbillies, or ignorant, like Archie Bunker. Roseanne Conner was smart, she wasn’t a bigot, and she would never have been taken in by a slimy, gropey billionaire con-artist like Donald Trump.

I’ve heard some people saying that they’re at least looking forward to seeing Darlene and Aunt Jackie get some good digs in on Roseanne and her support of Trump. But I don’t want Roseanne Conner to be stupid. I don’t want Roseanne Conner to be one of the swindled, and I don’t want her to be used as a tool of propaganda. It makes me sad.

I guess I just respect her more than Roseanne does.

And now it is your OPEN THREAD.

[Vulture]

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  • ArgieBargie

    Christ, she’s dumb, Barr none.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      She does set the barr high….

      • ArgieBargie

        She’s should be disBarred from doing comedy.

  • msanthropesmr

    Forget it Robyn, it’s Hollywoodland.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Makes me rethink the whole Tom Arnold thing…*

    *I’m not. He sucks but not as much musically as Roseanne singing the US Amercian anthem in the 90s.

  • Indiepalin

    “I wouldn’t say I GREW up on Roseanne, but I threw up on Roseanne on a daily basis” – Sara Gilbert

  • Marion in Savannah

    Shit — she’s still alive? Who knew, and more importantly, who cares?

  • TJ Barke

    *Sigh* I wholeheartedly concur.

  • memzilla Ω

    Barrf.

  • msanthropesmr
    • Marion in Savannah

      OOOOH… Comfy!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I’d far prefer to watch a livestream of Beany just sleeping peacefully in his cushy little doggy bed than any Trumpsucking reboot of Roseanne.

  • cmd resistor

    Cheer up, there’s a new Bad Lip Reading of Trump singing the national anthem:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo_mpwmashg

    • Blanche de Shambles

      That’s not a bad lip reading, that’s just live feed.

  • Crystalclear12

    Another childhood idol is eaten by the flaming dumpster.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Can we just stop with reboots already also too? If I want to watch reruns I’ll put on Me TV or Nick-at-Nite/TV Land. Otherwise come up with something new already. Quit running everything through the Xerox machine only to have it come out 100x shittier on the other end. Enough already. Hire some diverse people with creative and original stories to tell.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        But that costs money, its cheaper to ruin existing ideas then it is to come up with new ones.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Hey I know, let’s have Urkel be a creationist who believes Neil DeGrasse Tyson is using vaccines to turn frogs autistic and gay. That’s a great idea! (said no one, ever — except maybe some idiot network exec…)

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            After that they can turn perfect strangers into a show about how they take advantage of Balky and threaten to turn him over to ICE if he complains.

          • coozledad

            I’d like to see Uncle Martin from My Favorite Martian calling in the airstrikes.

      • efoveks

        THIS!

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    This is good news for Tim Allen…

    • Reddishrabbit

      Has he gotten a pardon for all the coke he was trafficking?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Not yet… although who knows, there might be one down the line if Trump ever decides he wants a “Coke” deliveryman.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Naw…his “Ima right wing straight shooter” show spun in last year and he blamed liberals for the fact that he sucked (my interpretation) and was cancelled after six (!) years. Also, Home Improvement was in prior to HGTV (or was not widely watched) so the concept wouldn’t translate, IMO. Thankfully.

  • JaveyDay

    I didn’t know we’d be taking a Barr exam today.

    • Hobbes’ like, smart Evil Twin

      I’ll have to counsel you against making any more puns.

      • JaveyDay

        Defendant rejects counsel. I’ll take attorney at this myself.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Now Rosanne will tell David to stop being such a snowflake and tell Darlene how she should date an alpha male instead?

    http://roseanne.wikia.com/wiki/Punch_and_Jimmy

  • msanthropesmr
    • Marion in Savannah

      IK,R? I’ve got black cats and a black desk chair. Life can get VERY interesting if I don’t do a proper “seat check” before sitting down.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Been there. I loved my little black kitty, but she could be a real asshole sometimes.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Learned that the hard way. Nearly smooshed my cat who was hiding on my seat, but somehow I was the asshole.

    • efoveks

      (squeee!!! :D)

    • JaveyDay

      Them’s some murderin’ claws.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        If you’re a squirrel.

        In which case you totally deserve it.

        • coozledad

          I have a new respect for large raptors.

        • JaveyDay

          What you got against squirrels?

    • Ninja cat has spared you for another day. Bring him food to show your gratitude, human.

      • msanthropesmr

        It’s a her. And she’s pokey.

        • wait! what?

          Foolish human. That’s just part of his disguise.

    • willi0000000
  • If I wanted to listen to old, white, obnoxious people screeching their love for Trump, I’d have invited certain relatives to Thanksgiving, thank you very much.

    • And then the night would have ended with the Shadow downing more vodka and yelling “HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS” while flinging mashed potatoes with rosemary turkey gravy at said relatives because I put on a classy table, damn it.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      or just subscribe to the NYT…

  • efoveks

    I remember the series finale to Rosanne, how the curtain was pulled back. It was sad, reflective… I remember thinking that, as a writer, she “fixed” some of the chaos of real life to make a happier, better world that made more sense. I admit, I was drinking at the time– I even remember it was a great bottle of red. Cathartic would be the word that I would have used to describe the experience. She should have left it at that, but no.

    Since the announcement was made, I have been thinking this was a mistake. And now I know that I am right: this is a definite train wreck, in the same way that the Will & Grace reboot is a train wreck.

    *sigh* I need more wine.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      It even addressed the biggest complaint people had about the season, which was Dan cheating on her, by implying that she wrote it that way because she was still angry that he had died. It was her way of coping with it because she couldn’t cope with the truth.

  • schmannity

    Since she plays a white trash slob, why would her character not be a Trumplodite?

    • efoveks

      Working class and white trash are 2 different things. Did you really watch the show? Roseanne Connor wanted her oldest daughter to go to college, not elope with her boyfriend. She also struggled with that same child (Becky) wanting to go on the Pill, and finally took Becky to the doc to get the Rx– not a thing a Trumpster would do. When her sister was being beaten by her boyfriend, Roseanne Connor was there for her sister. She encouraged Darlene’s writing career and she encouraged her son not to put up with the abuse his girlfriend reigned upon him as well. Do you remember Nancy, Sandra Bernhardt’s character? She was gay. So was Leon, Martin Mull’s character. Anyway, the original Roseanne Connor was tacky, but not white trash.

      • schmannity

        I grew up in a working class family. Both of my parents held down two jobs, one in town and the second shift on the farm. They never lost their dignity. At the minimum, the Roseanne show was about white crass and reflected the time of a coarsening of American culture. On top of that, her voice is truly annoying.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      The 90s were a different time. A person in Rosanne Conner’s situation would definitely be (definitely is) a Trumper today.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Ok, Internets, get to work. We need a “Donald stable” version.

    https://getyarn.io/yarn…/cb6e3271-b814-4eaf-b047-1330363efc28

  • Hanaka

    God damn, right there with you Robyn. I had not been following her so I had no idea Roseanne Barr had lost her ability to identify with what made Roseanne Conner such an important figure in my poverty adjacent upbringing. Conner NEVER would’ve fallen for Trump’s bs. Now, I will never know what the reboot does because I’m so damn disgusted i could never bring myself to watch her take that character to such a level. My gut aches at this. That character stoked the fire of the woman I am.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    So it’s even more stupid of an idea than I originally thought (just the concept of retconning the entire final season away signaled doom in my head). Let’s take everything that made the character compelling, drain it all out, and instead turn her into a mouthpiece for the actress’s personal politics. Because that is a sure-fire recipe for success…

  • Marion in Savannah

    OT, but Your Tax Dollars At ?Work? Have you EVER seen So. MUCH. Winning?

    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/10/business/economy/irs-debt-collection.html

    • efoveks

      My husband received a tax bill from our state 2 years ago for back taxes, claiming he owed $35k for 1997 & 1998. After a year going back & forth (and recreating a LOT of paperwork), it was finally decided that he owed… $11. For “processing”. Another friend of ours had a similar experience, who was self- employed during the period in question, also almost 20 years prior to receiving a notice of supposed back taxes owed. That said, in our experience, the tax man loses far more often than recovers, and more often than not, it costs more than the recovery. :)

  • DesertedPictures

    Here is something both funny and incredibly embaressing: Pete Hoekstra, (former Michigan Congressman) just after being accepted as ambassador by the Dutch King, was grilled by reporters over some lies he told in 2015. (He claimed politicians amd cars where burned by Muslims in the Netherlands).

    He refused to answer any question. The reporters didn’t accept that: “This is the Netherlands: you have to answer questions.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj9SNJpq2W0

    • Marion in Savannah

      [snerk] Can we get those Dutch reporters over here for a while?

      • DesertedPictures

        I like the fact that people from different media didn’t take the opportunity to ask another (unrelated) question.

      • coozledad

        They’d be fired. Reporters here are paid to kiss up.

        • Bobathonic

          The Dutch reporters would lose their access in no time.

        • james crubb

          My sister is a journalist and she kisses arse like a pro, she could give lessons to pros. As she makes plenty of ameros Mummy and Daddy think she the bomb and is beyond criticism, infallible basically, way more important than her low down, poor, artist/scientist, truthful, brother.
          The revolution starts at home, so do the lies.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Pass the Dutchies on the left hand side…
        (My apologies to our Dutch colleagues)

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Moar liek Pete Huckster, amirite?!?

      • hudson

        hoax straw.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Is this the “fake news” interview or is he embarrassing himself even more?

      • DesertedPictures

        No this is new: he was confronted about that interview and earlier statements after he presented his credentials to the king. (that’s a formality to make him an officially accepted ambassador).

      • SDGeoff3

        No, he’s in over his head, he knows it, and he’s enjoying flop sweat right now because he knows he’s doomed.

    • hudson

      go dutch!! way more balls.

    • ltmcdies

      Way to make America proud, there Mr Ambassador…. no one will ever say about this guy

    • OneYieldRegular

      Undoubtedly, he thought this would be a cushy sinecure.

  • TJ Barke

    That clip of her with the state rep is such a perfect representation of what she was.

  • Crystalclear12

    On a philosophical note:
    If there is a large crash in the house but no human to hear it does the cat still act casual?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Yes. Salvage the pride and all that.

    • hudson

      hmm. interesting. this type of thing happens to me all the time. only we have no cats, and the missus defaults to assuming i’m at fault. imma try this defense. let’s see if it works.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Blame poltergeists. Every house should keep a tame one around to take the blame for shit.

        • wait! what?

          Poltergeist’s real translation = outside cat.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Awww… Not really. One of my kitties prefers to spend most of her time outside, but when she comes in (as I insisted she do when we were living in Antarctica for a while) she’s the sweetest, cuddliest little thing you could ever want to snuggle with.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          We used to say “musta been the poltergeist” all the time in my childhood. My mum’s the one that started it, actually.
          Of course the house I grew up in was (allegedly) haunted. I’d like to think of myself as the kind of person who doesn’t believe in such nonsense, but I also know what I (thought I) saw and felt. Spooky shit, man.

          • Yellerduck

            I know what you mean. I’m pretty much a science-wins guy, but I swear the house I grew up in was haunted. One story: I was in the house alone, in bed and woke up to a hissing noise. I tracked it to the living room where there was a high-end (for the time) Pioneer reel-to-reel tape deck. The hissing was coming from the idler wheel on the deck that was spinning so fast the bearings were sizzling. It burned my finger when I stopped it. Idler wheels are not powered, they just ride along as the tape rolls past. There was no tape mounted on the deck and no one else around anywhere, and even if there was, I could not then nor now explain how they would have gotten that wheel to go that fast. There were other things, some even more dramatic, that you could look at more skeptically, but I still have never come up with anything to explain that one.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Right?
            Then my mom asked some of the old-timers around the neighborhood, which had been farmland many years ago,and it turned out our house had been built on the site where a farmhand had died in a barn fire or something. She had stopped going to church at that point, but after reading that creepy shit she went out and got crucifixes to put in all the bedrooms.

          • Yellerduck

            In my case the story was the younger sister of my new friends (I was 11 or so when we moved in) had died in what was to become my room after being bedridden for while. Most often what I heard was what sounded like conversations from another room, where you can hear the rhythm but not make out the words; what you would hear a lot of if you were stuck in a room down the hall. Other things were playful, like tricks a kid would play on another kid; doors opening and closing while I was watching a scary movie by myself for instance. It got nasty after I moved out and got engaged. Went back for a night and ended up being held down in bed complete with angry breathing and raps on the nightstand hard enough to make the lamp rattle. She was pissed.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yikes!!
            I was gonna say that sounds a lot like sleep paralysis, but I’ve never had a sleep paralysis episode where physical objects around me moved or made noise, so there goes that theory.
            My aunt was living with us while she was going to college, and my dad was working freight on the railroad and would be gone for weeks at a time. One morning my aunt confronted my mom because she had woken up to a man sitting on the end of her bed breathing heavily. She assumed it was my dad so she told him to get the fuck out of her room and rolled over and went back to sleep. When my mom told her that my dad was on the other side of the country and had been for days, they checked to make sure all the windows and doors had been locked. It happened another time and the guy had a dog with him. After that I suspect they did some kind of diy exorcism (Catholics, amirite?).

          • Yellerduck

            I thought about the sleep paralysis thing. Like I said, the only thing I’ve never been able to come up with another cause for was the tape deck. The only argument I have about sleep paralysis is that it had never happened before that and has not ever happened since. It would have to be a complete, aberrant, one-off episode. I’ve never been prone to bad dreams.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yeah, everyone I know who gets it has experienced it multiple times over the course of their lives. And as I mentioned, the hallucinations are very vivid but no physical manifestations other than, well, paralysis.
            My current building is over a hundred years old. I used to think I would see a little girl peeking around corners at me, but she hasn’t been around since a family moved in downstairs with a daughter about the same age she looked to be. Hmm.

      • SDGeoff3

        It might be the same chupacabra that keeps finishing my cocktails when I’m not looking.

    • wait! what?

      Probably just one tail flip instead of three.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I take it your holiday tree is down and the cat is playing innocent?

      • Crystalclear12

        And she was COVERED in tinsel.

  • coozledad

    She’s in her age of fear. Most whites will enter that age ready to give their savings to the biggest motherfucking crook they can find. I’ve seen it play out with too many people I used to respect. It’s painful, but the only thing you can do is accept the death of their souls and move on. Keep reading. Keep learning, and above all keep in contact with the people old white people insist on pissing down on. TV, and the gossip culture surrounding TV, seem to be an integral part of this. Even the goddamn news desks are incorrigibly shallow and fucking stupid.

    Once you stumble on an elder folk’s blog and all they can talk about is what’s on the tube and what their bowel movements look like, or how many damn toes they have left, you know your’e looking at a pool of Republican voters. Maybe not this cycle, but soon enough.

    • Marion in Savannah

      What is “the age of fear?” Does it have anything to do with chronological age, or is it more a function of whether or not you’re a huge asshole?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Right? I fear I’m in it, but unawares!

        • coozledad

          I’m in it. I had that cruel racist upbringing. Does it come back when you lose your faculties, or as soon as someone pours the right flavor of poison in your ear? I don’t know. I’ve just seen too many people creeping in that direction to ignore it.

      • coozledad

        I think of it mostly as the striver class figuring out it’s going to die.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Really? I’m 72 next week, and I realized for certain sure that I was going to die the day they killed Bobby Kennedy. But then I’ve been a screaming Democrat for all my life, so maybe we just figure out the “we’re all gonna die” shit sooner than Republicans, who seem to think that having bags and bags of money will keep you alive.

          • coozledad

            Or maybe would-be Republicans are so greedy for comfort they can’t even begin to face the bewilderment of grief, or loss. So at the first weakness, they’re in the bag for the comfort industry: preachers, television merchandise hawkers, or Fox News- a hybridization of both that preacher who moves on the elderly like a bitch for what is left when they’re dead, and the home shopping network talking up some useless junk; in this case, the racist politicians who depend on them.

            Maybe Republicans have honed the comfort industry to a degree of kink cliche that would be the envy of skilled prostitute. One who might know when to pull out the nun’s outfit, or the PVC lingerie, but equally adept at both.

            But they got my father. They found something small and fearful in him, and they defeated the rest of his being with it.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Not all old people go through that, this old lady blog is adorable.

      https://margaretandhelen.com

  • DesertedPictures

    I loved watching Roseanne: and I knew nothing about the actrice. This is frankly shocking. I always thought of her as this very liberal women, that didn’t take shit from anyone.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Doing some re-writes of my novel about steppe peoples.

    Consequently, I’m listening to that classic Tuvan album, “60 Horses in my Herd.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY-6x6ygwK8

    • Bobathonic

      Tuvan throat singing is a weirdness.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, people.

    NYS has a problem called the IDC. What that is: a handful of State Senators who were elected as Democrats and caucus with Republicans to throw control of the Senate across the aisle. They get paid for it. It’s bad, and Governor Cuomo (who’s a bit of a DINO) lets them do it because he prefers Republicans in charge so he won’t have to disoblige his donors.

    The head of the IDC has a problem now.

    https://twitter.com/IndivisWstchr/status/951215029382197249

    • Reddishrabbit

      Living in NYS now I do miss the Democratic Super Majority band Governor Brown of California sometimes.

      • jowgajen

        I’m sure our Dem Super Majority would be kind of screwy if we didn’t have Papa Moonbeam to keep us in check. We’ll have to find out next year for certain, sadly.

        • bobbert

          Yah, I’m a little nervous about next year without DGAF Jerry riding herd.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • valgalky23

      Oh dear, hate it when I don’t get it….but what does that mean on her fingers?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        It’ something like “grass on your pig” or “rat on your pig”. It was the french equivalent of #metoo, basically.

      • SDGeoff3

        Loosely, “keep it in your pants”. More literally, “report the pig”.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    OT: Suck it, Jeffy Cornbread. Your ass is grass…

    Vermont Senate passes bill to legalize marijuana use

    Covfeferate Secessions’ worst-laid plans are going to go up in smoke.

  • Raan

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Fullscreen-capture-10262012-115302-PM.jpg

    I see she hasn’t been to the weird parts of the internet I have.

  • Daniel

    “people actually hating other people for the way they voted”

    This is a self-serving lie the right loves to put about, and it needs to stop.

    “The way they voted” is not an act separable from what the person they voted for promised to do if they voted for him. Again, the party of personal responsibility loves the compartmentalisation that allows Trump voters and Trump’s administration to be isolated from each other to evade blame of the former for the latter.

    “The way they voted” was not as unimportant or trivial as who they wanted to win a series of The Apprentice– however much the person they voted for when they voted the way they voted wants them to see democracy as a reality show.

    “The way they voted” was for a sexual predator, for a racist, for a xenophobe, for a nepotistic would be autocrat who made no secret of who he was up to and including the time they voted the way they voted.

    Stop demanding these people’s behaviour should have no negative consequences. Stop behaving like the disregard for the importance of democracy your condemnation of condemnation of “the way they voted” shows is not itself a fundamental reason people could be so flippant about “the way they voted”.
    You allow people to continue believing “the way they voted” doesn’t and shouldn’t matter. You’re treating their willingness to impose that corrupt, bigoted balloon animal of a failed President on everyone as of no more moment than their favourite colour.

    Fuck that.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Who you voted for is a reflection of who you are. It’s not like picking what hamburger joint to eat at or what color shirt to wear today.

      The idea that I should still respect someone on the basis of “just because I voted for an asshole doesn’t make me an asshole” is not happening.

      You voted for an asshole.
      You’re an asshole.

      NEXT CASE!

      • Ninja0980

        Yup, if you vote for a man who says racist, sexist things, chances are you just might have some of those beliefs yourself.

  • Khavrinen

    OT: Yet another experience today of something “normal” people do that I keep failing to wrap my “abby-something” brain around.

    Let’s say you’re a big, important person, driving your expensive, powerful car, in a big hurry to get to some urgent, important destination ( like Starbucks, for example ), at a time when traffic’s pretty light, and you end up behind some asshole who has the unmitigated gall to only be going 45mph on a road with a clearly posted 35mph speed limit.

    Now, decades of experience has taught me that zoom up dangerously close to his back bumper, and only back away far enough to give yourself room to do it again, repeatedly is clearly your only option, and just move over to the ( completely empty ) next lane(s) and go around is literally unthinkable, but for some reason I have yet to come up with a theory that explains why that is the case.

    Any suggestions?

    • Raan

      He’s (I’m assuming it’s a dude) an asshole who thinks you won’t slow down out of spite.

      • SDGeoff3

        Around here, it’s mostly not-dudes.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’m considering getting one of those “I drive the speed limit. If you don’t like it, call a cop” bumper stickers.

      When someone does that shit to me, I slow down. The more they do it, the slower I go.

      • Roadstergal

        It’s great fun to do. What’s even better is if the traffic is light enough that you can slow down, trap them between a car behind you and a car next to you, and then zip away.

        • SDGeoff3

          Good clean fun, in my book.

      • SDGeoff3

        Yes! My mom used to say, well, bub, if you don’t like the speed I’m driving, you’re really gonna hate what I do next.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Because at that point it’s about intimidation. It’s about making the other person think the only thing stopping the asshole from running them off the road is the cost of fixing the front end of the asshole’s car.

    • jowgajen

      He’s being too lazy to pass you, is all. Slow down about 5 miles per hour and they will actually decide to pass you. If they are super aggressive, I recommend pulling over or turning off and getting away from them. Let them kill or maim someone else.

    • JaveyDay

      I like giving these types a nice big Thumbs Up! They are so used to getting middle fingers that they don’t know how to react.

    • coozledad

      That’s why I drive a beater. It’ll be even better when the rear bumper falls off and I can “replace” it with a pressure treated 6×6.

  • Shibusa

    I always, always found Roseanne Barr completely irritating.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The show is a better vehicle than she deserved, but there were scads of talented people working on it…IIRC when she finally got total control of it…it tanked.

      • Shibusa

        Agree about the talented people–100%.

    • Gayer Than Thou
  • Latverian Diplomat

    Roeanne Connor would have been on to the fact that Tom Arnold was an abusive, useless cokehead a lot sooner than Roseanne Barr was…

  • Lance Thrustwell

    What I wonder is, when are women going to be perceived as strong enough in real life that their media protagonists don’t have to be smart, strong heroines? Will there ever be a female Archie Bunker?

    • Daniel

      Have you seen Ab Fab?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Good point! But that show played games with plausibility, to put it mildly. I’m thinking it’s time for a realistic drama with that kind of female protagonist.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Mama’s Family wasn’t enough for you?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        That’s an interesting case. A little bit of a broad, cartoony satire though, yeah?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I think I get where you’re coming from, but I just don’t feel the glut of smart, strong heroines. Rather the opposite, with some exceptions.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Oh, agreed – there’s no glut!

    • I would point out that for a certain subset of people Archie Bunker was their “smart, strong heroine.”

      Of course, Norman Lear and company was smart enough to have Archie’s viewpoints routinely challenged and not just uncritically accepted (and Robyn makes the point that she wouldn’t be against that format being used.) Given Roseanne and her colossal ego, I doubt this will take that route and be anything other than agitprop.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I’ve heard some people saying that they’re at least looking forward to seeing Darlene and Aunt Jackie get some good digs in on Roseanne and her support of Trump.

    This right here is a hard pass for me. Five bucks says at most it will be tired token jokes about Twitler and Roseanne (the character and the person) will get the last laugh. And the whole thing will be played for both-sides-should-learn-to-listen life lessons (i.e., liberals should learn to let Twitler supporters go uncriticized).

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      Sarah Gilbert is either producing or co-producing it.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I’d like to say this gives me hope, but I’m not sure it does.

    • coozledad

      Exactly. It’s not just normalizing Trump, it’s normalizing the goddamn party that’s been busting its ass for decades to have him. Fuck them. I’m so tired of quisling-ass “liberals” sucking that Republican ass. It’s sickening.

      They’d never excuse that level of enormity or immorality in a minority group. But if you’re white, it’s all good.

      • Stable Genius Demme

        Amen.

  • Hobbes’ like, smart Evil Twin

    Not that familiar with the show but good god I sure as hell hope John Goodman is nowhere near this dumpster fire.

  • gesundheit

    Apparently she AND Dan voted for Trump. And just… no, those people would’ve thought he was a freakin’ buffoon. It’s so upsetting. I was half happy the show was coming back because at least the new season would erase the final season of the original but this is so upsetting. It’s hard for me to believe the rest of that cast would sign up for it if it were TOO pro-Trump, though.

    • OutOfOrbit

      it’s all about the money honey

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I won’t be back, I’m already getting insanely rich off a different dumb show”
      — Johnny Galecki

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Big Bang theory is ending soon so they need another show to make money from.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Different networks (Big Bang is CBS, Roseanne is ABC).

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          I meant the actors that are on both shows.

          • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

            Ah. Carry on, then.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Maybe they will do Young Leonard, Young Penny, Young Raj etc.

        Besides, it’s not like Chuck Lorre will end a cash cow without a fight

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          How about Young Amy, where Young Penny is getting sexually harassed at school, and Amy writes an op-ed for the school paper talking about how smart she is for wearing bulky sweaters and not “asking for it” by attracting the boys’ attention.

          Oh, wait, that was real life.

    • jowgajen

      I’m probably going to avoid the show. What little TV I watch is for escapist purposes, I don’t need the authentic idiot white Trump voter experience when we’re already living this shit.

      I mean Madame Secretary gets it. They have the grace to at least be some alternate universe that touches upon similar problems as ours rather than be a direct copy of current events.

      • Stable Genius Demme

        Yep.
        I adore Laurie Metcalf and John Goodman, but no.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      How is John Goodman down with this?

  • Jenny

    Heh. I am not surprised her character or her is a Trump supporter??

    Her entire show was how she was white people who was poor and not living the murican dream of easy living and prosperity. Even though she had a lot more than a kid like me, she wasn’t happy with the rat race. Pretty sure the “economically anxious” whites voted Trump.

  • Raan
    • coozledad

      I’ll bet that cockatiel loves that. Little fuckers are perverse.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I know why the canned bird sings.

      • mailman27

        I know why the canned clam just kinda lies there.

  • jesuswasablack

    Is this post about Rosanne or the “author” I can’t tell?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Author’s reaction to Roseanne.

  • ltmcdies

    With a heavy heart, because I too enjoyed Roseanne a lot …. I will be boycotting this show
    Which mean, since I don’t don’t have cable I will buy specific shows i really enjoy.
    So for Rosanne Barr I specifically won’t spend a ducking dime on her’s

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I knew immediately without watching the clip that this was the ep where she and Jackie “discover” Bikini Kill.
    Funny that Adam Horovitz has renounced the misogynistic shit that he and the Beasties pulled in their youth and has now been married to Kathleen Hanna for some 10 years, while Roseanne Barr took a…very different path. Well, more sad than funny.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Fuck yeah, Bikini Kill!

      That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood

      Well I got news for you- SHE IS!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO-8kk2T9b8

      • alpacapunchbowl

        YESSSS!!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Also-

      Suckers they be sayin’ they can take out Adam Horovitz.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Also coming soon:
    Bruce Wayne, Crime Lord
    Herbie the Hate Bug
    Seinfeld, now with Hugging and Learning

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      And moar great titles from the Trump TV Reboot Network!

      Ellen Prays Away the Gay

      Everybody Loves Raymond — and Even Robert, Also Too, Because the Women are Stupid, Nagging Bitches

      Perfect Strangers 2: Balki Gets Deported Because Chain Immigration is Bigly Ridickolous

      Due South, The Sequel: In Which the Mountie Gets His Ass Whooped By a MAGA Stable Genius Who Isn’t a Trudeau-Loving Canadian SJW Cuck

      …and of course,

      Walker, Texas Ranger

      • Msgr_MΩment

        NOOOOOOOOO! Donut ruin Due South like that!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Well, hopefully that reboot will be saved from getting made because of the bigly tariffs on Canada.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Mucho upfists.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Herbie returns to his Nazi roots….

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Ein Volk, Ein Wagen!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          …Ein Scirocco!

        • OneYieldRegular

          I would pay big $$$ to see Mel Brooks make this film.

  • Reddishrabbit

    I really missed a lot if shows growing up. My parents normally had the channel on PBS so I ended up falling in love with British and Australian comedies. Fortunately I never hear about them here so they can remain pure.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That’s when PBS used to be good. Now it’s Koch krap that airs the same half a dozen reruns of 20-year-old Boomer music specials over and over and over and over again. Fox Noise even called Mister Rogers evil when he died.

      • efoveks

        In their defense, they are using alternative facts.

    • Blanche de Shambles
  • Bobathonic

    Roseanne the person? Roseanne the character? Roseanne the sovcit?

    /heads off to look for a fringe free flag

  • Peter4011

    I saw Roseanne in Las Vegas; my boss dragged me to her show during CES. This was before she had a TV show; it was the most misogynistic set I’ve ever sat through. Her jokes reeked of self-hatred; when she became a star I was – huh, mainstream America.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    The trouble with “transgressive” art is that it only benefits anybody but the artist when it challenges the power structure. When it serves the power structure the artist becomes nothing more than another bully.

    Now that people are more aware of the power structure, artists who are naive about this stuff think that “grossing people out” is somehow the same as being “edgy”. Unsurprisingly, these are generally the people who already have successful careers.

    • Crystalclear12

      As people climb up the ladder of success and wealth some start trading their empathy to get just one rung higher on that ladder.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Auden re Hitler

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    I actually hate other people for the way they voted because they elected someone with values fundamentally at odds with a healthy democracy.
    I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean I’m un-American. Actually, it means the opposite.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      They also voted for someone who doesnt see liberals as humans and want to actively harm anyone we care about.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      The were Torries in 1776, Confederates in 1861 and dipshits throughout the ages.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Also,

    “Half the people voted for Trump?”

    Bitch, do you read? Or watch anything other than your dumbass show?

    • Blackest Noobs

      i know cuz half of America didn’t even bothered to vote, so to make such wide swipes as “half the people voted for Trump” is factually wrong. we barely can get 30% of those who can vote to vote.

      • Red Richmond

        Even if you only count people who actually voted, the popular vote totals disagree with that bullshit claim. Remind me again, who got more actual votes?

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        I guess when you’re a “celebrity” you don’t have to pay attention to such inconveniences as “facts”. Just like Donnie!

      • h4rr4r

        The half that did not vote, those that simply chose not to, agreed to let the rest choose their government. They effectively voted for Trump.

  • Michael Smith

    Apparently in Harper Lee’s second novel, Atticus has become taken in by the racism of the town and is no longer the hero Scout remembers as a child. But the story is, I’ve heard, about Scout having to get over that and stay true to the ideas her father taught her even if he doesn’t seem to believe them anymore.

    That’s painful enough, but it would be way different if Harper Lee became a huge racist in her later years, and had newly racist Atticus be the sympathetic protagonist, using all of the goodwill she built up for him as a character in the first book for her own nefarious propaganda.

    • Jamoche

      Actually that was the first draft of TKaM, so Harper Lee was going the opposite direction of Roseanne.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Half the people voted for Trump and half didn’t.

    Looking forward to seeing which 24% of her family will be nonwhite.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Roseanne grabs her own pussy during the National Anthem. Yeah, I see the affinity.

    • OutOfOrbit

      if she donut grab it nobody will

  • Stable Genius Demme

    Well, fuck her, then.
    (What a shame.)

  • WIDTAP

    The monkeys at Mar-a-Lago could give you a deadly form of herpes.

    https://gizmodo.com/avoid-monkeys-in-florida-because-they-could-give-you-ki-1821963329

    Oh, and the feral rhesus macaques can as well.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you know who they caught it from

      • WIDTAP

        A Viet Nam War hero and Purple Heart recipient?

        • hudson

          the one with bone spurs.

    • hudson

      the monkeys at mar-a-logo themselves are themselves secondary recipients from patient zero?

    • h4rr4r

      His personal Vietnam.

  • Squeegee

    50% of Americans reach retirement age without any retirement savings at all (NADA).
    The median retirement savings is a meager $30,000 not enough to last a year.
    So most Americans are reliant on social security and medicare/Medicaid in retirement which are EXACTLY the programs that Trump and the Republicans are focused on destroying through the Republican tax bill.
    So the characters portrayed by Roseanne on her show have the most to lose from the legislation pushed through by Trump and the Republicans.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Or going back to work in thankless, crappy jobs. There are tons of women in their 70s who work at the grocery stores near my mum’s house. My mum is about to turn 70 and retired awhile back, and very fortunate in that she’s actually pretty comfortable thanks to my father’s MANY years working for the railroad. And she knows and appreciates how lucky she is. Practically every time we’re driving home from the store she points out that anyone in their 60s and 70s who’s working in a job that keeps them on their feet for 30-some hours a week (don’t want to have to give them insurance, ya know) is unlikely to be doing it because they want to. They HAVE to.

      • coozledad

        Lowe’s employs a lot of women. They keep them at 30 hour weeks so they can’t get benefits. That’s not full employment, it’s fucking criminal.

      • Squeegee

        You see this in Vegas too if you are in Vegas on business or vacation there are a LOT of people in their seventies and eighties still working at all the casinos and hotels and business conferences.
        I think the city promotes hiring people in that age range so they can make a living which is good.

      • Squeegee

        Also people who work into their seventies and beyond stay healthier and their minds stay sharper it isn’t such a bad thing if they can find work
        My parents both worked into their nineties!!!

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Sure, that’s absolutely valid, but it also depends on the kind of work. I worked at the grocery store and various retail/restaurants/bars back in the day. It’s rough on the body and very easy to get hurt- badly. Places that are paying minimum and stiffing people on insurance don’t make accommodations for older folks.

          • Squeegee

            Unfortunately we are moving in the direction of automation and artificial intelligence which will make it even harder for them to get jobs.

  • susan_g

    Not surprised about Barr turning into a cheeto-licker but how does John Goodman take this gig?

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Right? It’s not like he doesn’t have lots of other options.

    • h4rr4r

      $$$

    • Bobathonic

      Maybe they’re being blackmailed.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Reset the “Days Without Being an International Embarrassment” counter back to zero, folks.
    https://twitter.com/Amy_Siskind/status/951213775662796805?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E3

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Any reason not to hard wire the counter to zero?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        just unplug it- it’ll always be right

    • Blackest Noobs

      cuz he needs Norway’s vote for his re-election in 2020?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You’re saying Norway has been annexed as a territory of Russia?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • BreakingDeadMen

      I have never moved it.

    • Jamoche

      So looking forward to some foreign head of state going “nope” to a meeting request. I mean really, why bother?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Naw, there’s a big fat iron ZERO up there on that sign now. Welded in place. I got tired of the wind blowing it down.

  • Squeegee

    The only good thing to come out of her tv show is Laurie Metcalf who is an American treasure and the only decent actress on that show.

    AND I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE LADY BIRD!!!!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Uhh. John Goodman?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Hey! It’s the return of Happy Nice Time People!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Wow, it turned into something called the agony booth…

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Got a scandal brewing in North Las Vegas. Democratic Mayor hires political crony to $126,000 per year position as assistant city manager. Political crony is an utter incompetent and uses position to advance political agenda rather than carry out city business. City Manager (appointed position) tries to fire political crony as outlined by the city charter. Mayor intervenes, reverses decision, and tells City Manager “resign or be terminated”, in violation of city charter and Open Meeting Law.
    Mayor has already been the subject of two ethics investigations (one for hiring political crony, and a separate one when child porn was found on his city-issued iPad), and is considering running for Congress on the Democratic side.

    • hudson

      hi mayor. please contact potus for protips.

    • altleftjohn

      The stuff in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas about what a down market shit show North Vegas is was funny. Used to have a client there who ran a truckstop/half-assed casino.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      How long until Trump does that?

      • WIDTAP

        Trump would be sure to include a cashier.

      • bbayliss

        How could you tell?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Err, I can’t imagine WH press briefings being worse with a cardboard cutout than with SHS.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well, that’s one good use for the (in)famous Trudeau cutout, so at least he wouldn’t have to suffer being in the same room as Trump anymore. Put him up at the G7 in Montreal later this year, along with all the other leaders. Trump never lets the other person get a word in edgewise anyway. He wouldn’t know the difference.

  • JaveyDay
  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

    Never liked her. Never “got” her. Not at all surprised that she is an asshole. To hell with Roseanne – whether Connor, Barr, Arnold or what have you.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    Or how about that sequel to A Clockwork Orange where Alex Delarge opens up a battered women’s shelter?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Roseanne is my favorite sitcom, with exception of the last season, which was dumb. But take a look at the last few seasons of the show. Roseanne almost totally ditched the idea of a working class, pro-labor mindset when she opened the diner. Yes, there were still social issues addressed, but the stuff about working class economics was pretty much gone. The last season was absolutely horrible with the whole lottery thing. It essential became The Beverly Hillbillies that last season. When I heard about the show coming back I was like, nope. Fuck that

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Didnt she take full control of the show the last few seasons when it became shitty?

    • hudson

      my fav eng tv shows, in no particular order, frasier, doc martin, seinfeld, scrubs.

      • hudson

        plus those old ladies from florida, golden girls. they were a riot.

      • aktlib101

        When I came to the States for the first time, in the Midwest in the 90s, they had “Cheers” reruns. I liked it. Seinfeld and Frasier also.

        • hudson

          i’ve not seen cheers, i should. but seinfeld and frasier are awesome.

      • bupkus231

        Frasier’s got some good lines – but the whole pompous ass thing is so overplayed. My aunt’s been watching reruns on one of the nostalgia channels, and it doesn’t take me long to tune ’em entirely out.

        • hudson

          the whole point is the pomposity and it’s absurdity, no? the whole point is to laff at it, not with it?

          • bupkus231

            I know that – and I do. But show after show after show? It’s overdone.

          • hudson

            oh c’mon you can’t be finding fault with that.

        • hudson

          and all the self deprecation. i mean give it a chance. it’s really funny.

  • janecita

    I didn’t watch the original, and I’m not watching this one either. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      My dad has always referred to her as a “loudmouth”. I never did like her, but I watched most of the series for some reason that I can’t remember now. I loved John Goodman? Some of the plot lines were compelling? I enjoyed Darlene’s snark? No idea which of those things overrode my general dislike of Roseanne herself. And he voice, and I say this as someone who also watched The Nanny.

      • h4rr4r

        Alpha House is pretty great.

    • bupkus231

      Pop quiz – Whose voice is worse? Roseanne Barr’s or Fran Drescher’s ( “The Nanny” )

      Dead heat.

      • H0mer0

        I love Fran doing Lois’s voice on Family Guy.

        • SDGeoff3

          She has the accent down pat, and sounds a lot like our old RI neighbors from back thay-uh.

      • Bobathonic

        Not even close. Fran by a gazillion.

    • kaydenpat

      While I never watched her old sitcom, I used to enjoy watching her on talk shows because she seemed to always have something interesting to say. She seemed like a cool person. Sorry that she’s taken such a bizarre rightwing turn.

  • bbayliss
  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
  • mailman27

    1/10. Would not watch.

    • yyyaz

      0/10. Will not watch.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    From what I’ve read, the first episode will be about Jackie and Roseanne not having talked in year because Jackie was a Hillary supporter and somehow Jackie became confused in the voting booth and voted for Jill Stein. Because ha. Ha.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cc393ea4285ac09ca65d039573fe8727c3774e9b31bc8802c0405dff45cf5c7a.jpg

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      Better to accidentally vote for Deez Nutz than to intentionally vote for Trump.

    • OutOfOrbit

      never watched but was bonin for the daughter

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m way more disappointed in Sarah Gilbert, John Goodman and Laurie Metcalf. I’ve lost so much respect for Roseanne at this point that I’ve decided she’s doing all this to spite Tom Arnold.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Haha! It’s probably true.

    • kaydenpat

      Hard pass!

  • bluicebank

    Happy rescue vid from Calif. mudslide(s) situation. Get the baby! Then get the dogs! Would have been a full squee if they then pulled kittens out of a tree, but hey, rescue team compensated by what looks like having a conversation with the tyke:

    “Timmy, what’s up?”
    “I’m good. Doggies scared, tho.”
    “On it.”

    https://www.accuweather.com/en/videos/incredible-video-shows-coast-guard-pull-newborn-and-dogs-from-house-destroyed-by-mudslide/j1ewz3zde6i08ooqwmbkgmpczkk34daf

  • Beowoof14

    I was ambivalent about the original. Watched occasionally, but it wasn’t appointment TV. Now that she is a huge Trump supporter, I wouldn’t watch if she was sending me checks.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Soros Libelz!

    • kaydenpat

      Me too. I am not interested in Trump supporters or portrayals of them on t.v. Enough already with folks who are okay with a bigoted idiot in the White House.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Unless they are portrayed as Elmer Fudd types that get mocked.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    In fairness, it’s no worse than the Cosby reboot where Dr. Huxtable prescribes Rohypnol to his female patients.

    • Jennifer R

      The parallels to Cosby are kinda funny actually. People were (ultimately rightly) pointing out both were kinda regressive pricks when their own personal pet mini topics were not at hand for decades.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Meh, fucking meh! And here, I thought Roseanne Barr wasn’t even alive anymore.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7f4288a613ebe5fdcd93a94a63a2484ee803a54636bdcf69cea2c798a1635c38.jpg

    • hudson

      so you are too sexy for this shit, to rightly paraphrase what fred said?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I wouldn’t have put it in so many words. But now that you mention it, I can’t think of anything more appropriate to say.

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s lovely.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    They’re rebooting Hogan’s Heroes where the titular character figures Nazis are pretty swell after all.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Hogaaaaannnnnnnn!!!

    • Nockular cavity

      “Some of them are good people.”

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Did they have permits?

      • Stable Genius Jack

        Of course they did! Duh!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Starring Sarah Huckabee Sanders as Sgt. Schultz. “I know nothing…”

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        SAD!!! Spicy couldn’t even get on the show.

        • Vienna Woods

          Got sent to the Eastern Front.

        • Stable Genius Jack

          Spicey was in the pilot, but they got some troll woman from central casting to replace him.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          He’s on the Trumpanzee reboot of Psych, as Press Secretary Shawn Spencer. All those world leaders’ names he gets wrong? “Meh, I’ve heard it both ways.” Hi, my name is (what?) my name is (who?) my name is (chick-a chick-a) Joe Trudeau…

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Steven Miller as Hochstetter, Gorka as Burkhalter

      • OneYieldRegular
    • therblig

      it’s about a jewish owned sandwich shop in pre-war berlin. how can it miss?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      They are still spies, but they feed German disinfo to the Allies. It’s the series that bridges the original and The Man in the High Castle.

    • bbayliss

      Heil Honey I’m Home: The Nazi-Themed Sitcom Canceled After One …
      mentalfloss.com/…/heil-honey-im-home-nazi-themed-sitcom-canceled-after-one-episo…
      File under Things That Actually Happened: On September 30, 1990, British Satellite Broadcasting aired a single episode of Heil Honey I’m Home, a Nazi-themed sitcom featuring fictionalized versions of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun. The couple inexplicably live in a Berlin apartment building, across the hall from the Jewish …
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf9jJx0NSjw

  • Stable Genius Jack

    If it helps, you can always go back and watch “Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t) where you’ll find this: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/416d46f1a8daceeb2d3a4c3aad59a711d2a4858b1cf1a34fe4ee530fe9dcd77a.jpg

    Good times.

  • bbayliss

    Charlie Pierce:
    “On Tuesday, the president* held a TV show in which all the actors pretended to be negotiating a way to solve the country’s immigration problems. It was very well-received, even by people who think the president* has gone, in many ways, in the words of the late George V. Higgins, as soft as church music.”
    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a15054114/trump-stephen-miller/

    • yyyaz

      Evil Miller has the last word in immigration policy. How comforting.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Which means he won’t, because no one tells Donnie what to do!

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/951228446851641345

  • yyyaz

    My mother was a physically and emotionally abusive woman who could pass for either Roseanne’s twin sister. No thank you.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      She actually looks and cackles exactly like my Trump-supporting aunt — who abandoned her family because she thought of us as low-class trash.

      • h4rr4r

        You can’t buy class.

        • Lord Jim

          And you can’t fix stupid.

  • kaydenpat

    I never watched her old sitcom and won’t be watching this one but must say that it’s sad to see that Roseanne supports Trump. I thought she was better and more sensible than that but I guess not. Oh well.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    They’re also doing a reboot of Star Trek where Kirk is. . well. . . He’s pretty much the same only with more Shatnery ignorance.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    French people : failing to dispel every stereotype since 481.
    https://twitter.com/TheLocalFrance/status/951135102435606529

    • Cheese eating surrender monkeys!

      • h4rr4r

        Says the syrup drinking hockey player.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          …and Quebec, for once, says “can’t we all just get along?”

          • h4rr4r

            I take it you have not yet had the chance to visit Quebec.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Well, we’re in bizarro world now, so I figure anything is possible…

          • h4rr4r

            Touché

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            Quebec is the only province in Canada where someone was mean to me. But Montreal is spectacular.

        • DrBigHead

          Back bacon libelz!!!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Poutine a little effort, please.

          • h4rr4r

            As soon as a Canadian team does towards the cup.

        • Blanche de Shambles
    • therblig

      Goudafellas

      • DrBigHead

        The Taking of Parma 123

        • h4rr4r

          Oaxaca 11

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        All to cheddar now….

    • JaveyDay

      The thieves were caught when the cellar couldn’t find a buyer.

    • SDGeoff3

      Will they have to follow the mold?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Poutain!

    • JaveyDay

      “I’m not a Muenster!”

      • JaveyDay

        “I’m not guilty! Provolone it!”

        • JaveyDay

          “I Camembert the thought of a prison sentence.”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            To brie, or not to brie: that is the question.

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          Ricotta get his life together.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Madam, I’m edam.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Mmm, I like Saint-Nectaire.
      (I am not la voleuse!)

    • JaveyDay

      I know who did it! It was Al Mascarpone!

      • JaveyDay

        James Colby has been hired to star in the television adaptation.

        • Lord Jim

          Critics will surely fetta him for a brilliant performance.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      If it had only been three kinds of cheese, would it be a fromage a trois?

      (I’ll show myself out…)

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I heard that the cheese in the Chauvet caves was past its prime…

      • h4rr4r

        Are you saying it was an Innes job?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Ooh!….

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      Cheese is the #1 thing stolen on this planet. 100% of fact.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Not Honda Accords?

    • Crank Tango

      Un camembriolage ?

    • JaveyDay

      The detectives have given up. This one’s going to the Cold Quesadilla files.

    • Jonny On Maui

      WITP is going to want to have a word with all of you…

  • therblig

    might watch the first episode so i can tell the advertisers i’m boycotting them

    • yyyaz

      DVR it and just pause at the commercials.

  • Very Stable Bozi

    I linked your article to her Twitter page. Maybe she will see it and re-think her changes ro Mrs. Connor.
    P.S. Second Becky was best Becky. ;-)

  • nuzpeg

    I disagree about the likelihood the character would support Trump. Roseanne Connor is exactly like the people from my blue-collar hometown (a dying mill town) with whom I’ve argued bitterly about Trump and in some cases ended friendships over their blind support for him. That attitude is real.

    • DrBigHead

      Trump’s appeal to at least some disenfranchised groups is undeniable. The bastard wouldn’t be president if there wasn’t

    • People around Roseanne Conner would be Trumpers. . .Arnie, Crystal maybe. But the character of Roseanne isn’t a good fit at all with the Trump ideology. She and especially Jackie would be way better fits with Hillary. Even Jill Stein would have been more believable.

  • Ellie

    Remember when Roseanne and the rest of the women got screwed over by the foreman in the Wellman Plastics factory? They all ended up punching out and quitting. Sounds like this Roseanne would have told them to suck it up and be grateful the “makers” would allow them to work at all.

    I liked Roseanne when she first came on the scene as stand up, and liked the first few seasons of her show. By the time she made that horrific version of She Devil, I had long fallen out of love. I’m not the least bit interested in this new incarnation.

    • therblig

      i’m guessing george clooney won’t be returning

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Last year and every year, the Cheboygan County Dems have a big lunch at theWalter and May Reuther UAW Family Education Center at Black Lake. This is a big recreational and educational retreat the United Auto Workers put together back iin the early 70s’. But last year, they were ambivalent, wouldn’t outright support Mrs. Clinton,

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Shut the fuck up…Rosie?
    https://youtu.be/AS8X2Qp_6aA

  • Yellerduck

    I see ICE is raiding 7-11’s across the country. Somebody didn’t make their ‘campaign contributions’ to the godfather!

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Or he got a bad Slurpee. One of the two.

    • altleftjohn

      Oh goody. Now all us old white fucks can have minimum wage jobs after Ryan destroys social security and Medicare.

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      Today 7-11, tomorrow Trump’s country clubs!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They’re bankrolling it through some slushee fund.

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        They got a big gulp of reality today.

  • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

    I just wish people were making more shows and movies that have not been done before. There must be millions of good ideas out there.

    • msanthropesmr

      One’s a veteran cop, nearing retirement. The other’s a rookie, still wet behind the ears. Together, they fight crime. Can I sell this?

      • SDGeoff3

        Might be a tad too edgy for the times.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        Does one of the cops have a drinking problem?

        • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

          Oooh! Can I audition for that role?

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            Can you really work the “intense personal demons brought on by a life of daily seeing the worst behavior humanity has to offer” angle?

          • h4rr4r

            Maybe he should Shield us from that.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            A True Detective would…

          • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            You need to watch True Detective season one. If you can bring me the black hole of darkness and depression that is Rust Cohle, you are hired! (All jokes aside, watch it)

          • SDGeoff3

            OOO Oooh pick me, pick me!!

          • SDGeoff3

            You know I love it when you speak before the lashings begin.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            DOWN BOY! DOWN!

          • SDGeoff3

            squeeee…..

      • bluicebank

        Only if done as film noir set in 1940s Los Angeles.

        • SDGeoff3

          Ok, you have my attention…

          • bluicebank

            Opening narration: “The rookie had legs that wouldn’t quit.”

          • SDGeoff3

            HIs form-fitting striped uniform pants could barely hide their muscular definition.

          • bluicebank

            “I knew right away I would have to show him the ropes. Literally.”

          • SDGeoff3

            We should talk,…

        • SpideySenser

          Sounds very “L.A. Confidential” ist.

          • bluicebank

            Except this time the vice squad has been infiltrated by the gays. Hilarity ensues.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        As a premise for the Roseanne reboot?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Dan Ackroyd as the vet, Tom Hanks as the rookie?

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Dragnet, right?

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      An ignorant, racist, misogynist reality TV star runs for president. Hilarity ensues!

      • SDGeoff3

        Sadly, Hilarity won by many votes.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          And then the murders began.

          • SDGeoff3

            How was the rally today?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Epic

    • DrBigHead

      Yes. I completely reject the premise that all the stories have been told.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Oh, there are lots of good ideas out there. But Hollywood is very terribly afraid of new ideas because they are risk-averse. Why do something inventive and fun when you can roll out the 3,475th clone of the basic rom-com?
      The networks that have taken chances and tried going “outside the box” usually are the ones who are floundering and will try anything to be relevant again.

      • Lord Jim

        Mostly they’re risk averse because they believe more in big budgets than big ideas. They think a film will only draw if they spend 157 godzillian dollars on sets, optical effects, and star-power. Then it becomes kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        The thing that chaps my ass about Hollywood movies is they’re either about comic book characters, or big loud explosions n’ car chase movies. Or stuff for children. And that’s it.

    • Daniel Hooper

      A mother is tired of her seemingly slacker son and his virtual reality fantasy game he’s constantly playing until she finds herself surrounded with monsters from said game that have escaped into the real world. When she learns that all that gameplay was actually training and her son’s a spellslinging badass who’s part of a group tasked with sealing away said monsters, she joins the game herself to learn more about these incidents, while her son has to help guide somebody who hasn’t touched a console in ages navigate through a fully realized virtual world.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        It’s been done. Future Man on Hulu.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        But how was the customer service?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      What about a show about a shoe salesman who is a loser who never eats with a shitty family and shitty neighbors?

      • SpideySenser

        It’s been done, Al.

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          How about a show about American POW’s in WWll having fun, and pranking the hilarious, light-hearted Nazis constantly? A not so dystopian look into our possible future.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            I read a good idea in a book on cult movies. If you want to make a TV sitcom about WWII, don’t make Hogan’s Heroes. Base it on To Be Or Not To Be.

    • bluicebank

      Has the Seven Samurai been done in space, yet?

    • therblig

      a kid gets a letter inviting him to a school for magic, where he has adventures, makes friends, and is pursued by dark forces.

      then, it turns out that it’s actually a mental institution and everyone there, except the oddly named Dr. Riddle, is an inmate.

      Potter Island

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        Truly original! His first name should be Barry.

  • Jgb979

    “I get to decide who’s a woman and who isn’t”

    Three tweets later

    “Everyone needs to stop being so divisive.”

    Roseanne Conner of 1994 would tell Roseanne Barr of 2017 to go fuck herself. It’s a shame someone who was at least a teensy bit responsible for my burgeoning liberal views has fallen into the predictable “boomer who got money so no longer thinks she has to pay for a functional society” trap but it’s entirely predictable.

    I’m hoping Sarah Gilbert if no one else has told Roseanne that she’d prefer not to be a trump supporter.

  • RickyG

    “…featuring the guy who used to be the Verizon guy. His former association with Verizon is the only thing that gives power and veracity to his newfound love for Sprint. “ —
    I loathe that guy. He is a shill that shamelessly mines his previous shill. He is a META-SHILL!
    Get off my lawn Teevee!

    • h4rr4r

      Have you had a stroke or is this some advertising thing?

      Netflix and Amazon have freed me from that vile stuff.

      • RickyG

        I watch Teevee the way you are supposed to, Sonnyjim!
        On the rabbit ears and in linear time!!!11!!

        • h4rr4r

          Keep yelling at those clouds.

          I can’t go back.

          • RickyG

            Ain’t nobody aksin!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Can I fix you a plate?

          • RickyG

            Whatcha got?!

  • James

    I liked th old Rosanne show: a middle-of-the-road American woman who spoke truth to power. This version? I’m glad I don’t own a television set, because living here in so-called “Trump Country,” if I had a propaganda hour piped in as comedy I would destroy my television set.

  • Lord Jim

    Racism – still only caused by talking about racism.

    Schools are supposed to protect their students. WTF is fucking wrong with this world?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      We were just talking about this a couple days ago. A couple people who used to live there said Pleasant Grove was a shitty super-conservative place when they were there, so they weren’t shocked.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    The show will not be popular. We live in different times.

    • Bobathonic

      I can no longer tell what will or won’t be popular.

  • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

    Damn. I never watched the show – my Luddite-ity began way back – but I always thought of her as being on our side, so to speak. Whatever the hell that may mean. Would NOT have pictured her as a Trumpetista. At. All.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    Politico reports that Donnie’s throwing this soiree to commemorate the ten thousand and sixteen years that have passed since his inauguration. Jeanine Pirro is the keynote speaker and the gala will feature the musical stylings of Sinatra cover artist Robert Davi.

    The Mar-a-Legoland event is, sadly, sold out. All three tickets are spoken for.

    https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/10/trump-palm-beach-dinner-contest-333858

    • Covfefe

      I believe the number you are searching for is 1066, which, in some circles, is considered the beginning of time.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Robert Davi is so much more than just a Sinatra cover artist. He’s the voice of the Demon Sheep ad.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rKWlOxhSIKk

    • SayItWithWookies

      How is it that people who call Hillary Clinton shrill will pay money to listen to Jeanine Pirro speak? It’s like turning down a beer and mixing a cocktail of Drano and turpentine instead.

      • LA Julian

        Drano and turps goes well with your entree of tire rims and anthrax!

    • Stable Genius Demme

      I hope Nancy Sinatra weighs in on this.

  • Cock Blockula

    Not a fan of the original show or Roseanne herself (I think she’s kind of stupid mostly).

    However… if the character starts out as a Trump supporter, but then through a series of good story telling/exposition/narrative comes to realize that she has voted against her best interests, and if the storyline hammers this home over and over and over again, until one day, masses of goober Trump voters are able to understand that is what they have done to themselves… well, I can get behind that.

    My expectations are low, so I don’t think that will ever happen.

    • Ryan Denniston

      You assume a lot from the goober masses.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      This was my thought. But then, I quickly realized that somehow the GOP will keep that from happening. Maybe they’ll divert some of those Obamacare advertising $$$ to support the show while insisting they embed writers on the staff.

  • Grokenstein

    The more loud, obnoxious women out there, the better!

    If they have intelligence and purpose, yes. Sarah Palin is loud and obnoxious. A wet fart can be loud and obnoxious. But even a wet fart has more intelligence and purpose than Roseanne Barr.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      And from the sounds of this reboot, funnier also too.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      He was one of my favorite TV Dads. Along with Bill Cosby, unfortunately.

      • Lord Jim

        Cosby – another example of the principle that “artistically gifted” is perfectly compatible with “shit human being”. :(

      • wait! what?

        Red Forman or GTFO.

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          Redd Foxx or TTYL!

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      Whatever they’re paying you John – it isn’t enough.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
  • Villago Delenda Est

    So she’s betraying everything that gave her success. She’s got hers, now, so fuck you, everyone else.

    • Bobathonic

      E pluribus I got mine, bitchez!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Where have we seen that behavior before?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Its the republican way.

        • DrBigHead

          The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

          John Kenneth Galbraith

          • (((Sedagive)))

            One of the most pithy and accurate political observations of all time.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            One of my favorite quotes.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Too many places. Anne Rice wandered down that path briefly. I heard years later she trotted back.

    • Blackest Noobs

      and that’s just way it is….one time in a food lion…maybe it was a food lion…bruce hornsby was in there…drunk…stinking drunk…might have even been the one across from the williamsburg bowl…it was in that food lion…bruce hornsby….fucking drunk as fuck….berating a poor 17-19yr old girl cashier cuz she didn’t know who he was.

      and that’s just the way it is.

      • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

        She should get a job…

      • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

        And BTW, Bruce Hornsby has always been awful music.

    • Ninja0980

      Yup.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    One rather unsettling thing about getting older is that you get to watch talented folks who made a youthful name for themselves as apparently liberal-minded Davids reveal themselves to be mean-spirited, selfish Goliaths with age.

    This is not true in IRL: the good liberals of my youth remain steadfast. But for the famous, they often (but not always) seem to go off the rails.

    I am unsure of the mechanism, but celebrity does terrible things to the ego, comfort can alienate you from the struggle, creativity requires a sensitivity that tends to curdle as the limelight fades, and notoriety and power tend to corrupt.

    Virtue remains, as ever, its own reward.

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      I was 10 in 1969, and I knew lots of hippies, as I knew quite a few of my older half-brother’s friends. The ones I am still in contact with are conservatives. Which is why I say hippies/60’s idealists are sell-outs. The whole lot of ya sold us out. You are at the levers of power now and look what you’ve done to us.

      • (((Sedagive)))

        I’m too young to remember actual hippies, but I grew up with liberal/lefty/Jewish/”coastal” types. They were pro-gay, pro-choice and “multicultural” before folks knew it was a thing. These values have not changed very much over time.

        The only (new-age) hippies I’ve known have been fairly neurotic, and their actions have been more about “working out their own issues” than any coherent political ideology.

        Then again, I was a punk.

    • LA Julian

      Yes, they get theirs made, and having got it, well, THEY’RE all right, Jack, but you, YOU can just fuck right off now….

  • aktlib101
    • (((Sedagive)))

      THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS!

      Also, too: THIS!

    • jowgajen

      Eh, what does this Krugman guy know. It’s not like he’s a Nobel-prize winning economist.

    • NotReallyHere

      I’ve read Krugman’s thread, and I can’t figure out what WNH stands for.

      White Not Happy?

      Ok, that was stupid.

      • jowgajen

        White no homo?*

        • jowgajen

          I clicked through to the academic article linked. (Because Krugman brings the receipts, mofo.) And it’s White Non-Hispanic.

          • NotReallyHere

            Thanks! Now I feel stupid for not thinking of that.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • SayItWithWookies

    I’d think getting on board the Trump Train at this point is like being pro-Mussolini in the spring of 1943 — it’ll be playing to a dwindling and increasingly out-of-touch audience. But if Roseanne really does do this reboot, it’ll be a good objective test of whether conservative humor actually exists. I’ve certainly yet to see any.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’m not sure she’s doing any of the writing herself. Morgan Murphy, who I generally like and who is pretty libtard-y, is on staff. But I believe Natasha Leggero, who I cannot fucking stand is as well.

    • (((Sedagive)))

      Punching down is seldom (if ever) funny.

    • Blackest Noobs

      yeah it’s not like conservative humour cannot exist, maybe, but none of us have ever experienced it…well anything resembling something actually funny.

      • altleftjohn

        Oh come on. What could be funnier than laughing at the misfortune of the powerless, the excluded and the disadvantaged?

        • Blackest Noobs

          i am not saying there are not jokes to have…because in comedy nothing should be off limits.

          does it mean you laugh at it? sure or no….because it can be subjective. VERY so.

          like my wife hates the fuck outha Wet Hot American Summer and its many now incarnations on the Netflix…she even hates Stella even worse.

          or michael vs michael have issues….she was like i am literally mad how unfunny this show is as im howling in laughter.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      When it fails, she’ll just blame liberals just like that that idiot from Home Improvement.

  • data_ninja

    From the “You got a LOT of FUCKING NERVE” dept

    Hearings begin on Officer Timothy Loehmann’s future with Cleveland Police Department

    Cleveland Police Officer that killed Tamir Rice (and was fired for lying on his application) wants his job back.

    Fucking only in Trumps America, I fucking swear.

    https://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/yes-you-there-fuck-off-and-when-you-get-there-fuck-off-some-more-c5db9.png

    • wait! what?

      Donald will support him if he runs for a Senate seat.

      • data_ninja

        He’ll have a position in ICE or the Trump goon squad I suspect. That or he could he a ranch hand on the Bundy farm.

    • data_ninja

      From the article:

      “Those allegations are false,” CPPA President Jeff Follmer said
      Wednesday. “He didn’t falsify anything. He filled out the applications
      to the best of his knowledge and this all comes back to the use of force
      which has nothing to do with this arbitration whatsoever.”

      You fucking fucker.

    • jowgajen

      He shot and killed 12 yo kid with a toy gun within seconds of arriving on the scene. Regardless of criminality it’s the sort of mistake that anyone should recognize as being career ending.

      Fucking bank tellers get fired and blacklisted for being short in their drawer by any money at all (any money, like 2 cents is enough) three times in their entire employment. Because fucking up the money at a bank is the sort of mistake that anyone should recognize as career ending.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Getting a police officer fired is extraordinarily difficult, because arbitrators seem almost pathologically compelled to give them way more benefit of the doubt than any other class of employees.
        I worked an arbitration where an officer did a bad search, which was like his third major fuckup. Even had on-point Supreme Court cases saying the search was not reasonable under either the “stop-and-frisk”, “plain view” or “officer safety” exceptions. Arbitrator put him back to work anyway, saying we hadn’t shown he acted in “bad faith”. We had to pay him to go away, and even then he demanded we provide him with proof that he “retired in good standing” so he would be able to carry concealed without a permit.

        • ariel_gee_398
          • Lord Jim

            Isn’t it odd how reactionaries conservatives are always complaining about labor unions, but police unions that whine and bitch about oversight get a pass?

          • jowgajen

            Because the subtext is *always* about social control.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Weird. I gotta say, were I a police officer, I’d be a little cheesed off at how much time unions spend protecting bad actors and how little time they spend trying to improve things for the rank and file.

  • Jenny

    CPS called us in to wrap up our case.

    Condition to close the case: We place a lock on the daughter’s door (ok no problem), counseling, (done) a bell or an alarm on her door (uhhh sure I guess?), and a camera in the home to record the happenings in the house, especially the hallway to the kids’ room(ok wtf is this bullshit, is this even legal?) or they remove my daughter.

    Even though the forensic interview turned up nothing, and the detective was like this is silly and not worth the time, and my daughter’s “outburst” used the word humping.

    We had already clarified that “humping” is them fighting and rough housing. His penis was near her body and that is humping.

    My son has adamantly denied that he has touched her in a sexual way, and my daughter has said over and over that it isn’t sexual humping, that isn’t what she meant. But still, my son is being treated like a criminal and us as negligent parents.

    I told the boyfriend I wanted to get an attorney from the get go, but he has faith in people being reasonable and fair. Clearly, he’s lived a charmed life.

    I am so angry. Angry at my kid for using the “wrong” language, but it isn’t her fault. She’s got processing problems. She really doesn’t get how to communicate in the way society expects her too.

    Angry at CPS for painting me into a corner.

    At the boyfriend’s ex wife for filing this fucking report in the first place because she’s unhappy.

    At myself for not getting that attorney and for not, I dunno, not explaining things better to my daughter about sexual contact and helping her express herself better.

    I hope my kids never have to deal with this kind of shit when they have kids.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Amen. NEXT TIME get the attorney!

    • Dg Hacket

      I truly believe that some( not all) cps workers abuse the power they have over their subjects. Absolute power and all that. They want to be regarded as “saviors of children” when in fact they are ripping families apart. There are families who admittedly need some help, but abducting a child from the only parent (sometimes the only family member) they have ever known based on hearsay and conjecture is barbaric.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Party of Law & Order ____ uhhh, not so much:

    [POLITICS 01/10/2018 01:00 pm ET
    Updated 3 hours ago

    Republicans Have 4 Convicted Criminals Running For Congress In 2018
    Three of them are bragging about it.]

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/joe-arpaio-2018-election_us_5a563b5ae4b03417e8743168

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      He has been criticizing the courts since he started running for president.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Mexican Judge Libelz!1!1!1

    • Jon Sussex

      Because there are so many higher courts.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    The fuck was that interview with the lawyer, Ari Melber?

    • OutOfOrbit

      I. Likes her

    • cowboyally

      Yeah that didn’t go as planned.

    • puredog

      Melber? He’s toast.

      • jowgajen

        Dude, that’s a crumby pun.

        • Doug Langley

          I thought it was just peachy.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump said the US had sold Norway F-52 fighter jets during a joint press conference with Prime Minister Erna Solberg today.

    No such aircraft exists.

    https://twitter.com/APHClarkson/status/951189511987482624

    Bet the marines are gonna want a STOVL version.

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

      Incom T-65 or GTFO.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Is every meeting with a world leader going to be so that he can brag about a deal (that wont actually happen) to sell military gear?

    • Master Contrail Program

      Hell, you should see who the flight intructors will be for this wondrous plane. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/14d341c68225a66476f2ecaec3d6ec9e3c1d3d9c29b4fe4b8e7f26d79cf22055.jpg

    • wait! what?
    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      It’s just got really good stealth capability.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Just because it doesn’t exist, and isn’t even on anybody’s drawing board (that we know about /tinfoil hat) does NOT mean that Trump can’t say we sold them to anyone. Ferfucksake, it’s Trump, who had a meeting with the PM of Normay earlier today.

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn
    • Me not sure
    • NorthernSaber

      Happy fact: Prime Minister Solberg’ s name translates to “Sun Mountain” in English.
      It makes me happy that folks have names that translate to “Sun Mountain.”

      • SDGeoff3

        Scandinavia makes me happy.

        • NorthernSaber

          Me too- that’s why I got a Master’s in “Scandinavian Area Studies” years ago from my beloved University of Minnesota. One of the best things I ever did!

          • SDGeoff3

            Nice! Swedish was spoken casually among my mom’s side of the family when I was a geoffpup. And I bought a cookbook from the American Daughters of Sweden (1955) recently and found the recipes for all the comfort food I can recall.

          • NorthernSaber

            At the “U” we had to declare a primary Scandinavian language and then display reading capability in all the others. Mine was Swedish!

    • Doug Langley

      But they can’t hit the broad side of a barn.

      • Bill D. Burger

        But they are the shit in Call of Duty! ;)

        • OrdinaryJoe

          ^ Yes. Did you stop for a minute and think, fucking DotardUS must play CoD when he is not tweeting?

    • SayItWithWookies

      F-52, F-53 — whatever it takes.

    • Vel Venturi

      He aviation safetied them into existence!

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn
      • aktlib101

        Where is the Stars and Bars flag on that jet?

    • therblig

      i’d expect trumpy’s tie fighters to be much longer, less useful, and held together with scotch tape.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      P51 Mustangs, perhaps, 60 or 70 years ago.

    • akryan
  • cosmiccowgirl

    This makes me sad! I never really watched Rosanne–I can’t remember if that’s because our reception of ABC was sketchy (we still used an antenna) or if it was banned in our household because my parents didn’t like it (definitely the case with SNL). But nonetheless I relate to having strong love for a TV character and can imagine how bad it would feel to have that character ruined–like if a character from my all-time favorite movie Thelma & Louise had an insane hatred against the first-ever woman presidential nominee and said she was equal with Trump . . . Oh wait.

  • aktlib101

    From the Cold War and the free Western society that defeated an ugly enemy to the unchecked market capitalism that brought us populism and Brexit and Trump:
    “Face facts. The west that won the cold war no longer exists”. “Capitalism conquered the eastern bloc. That’s why liberal politics alone won’t defeat today’s populism”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jan/10/west-cold-war-capitalism-eastern-bloc-populism

    “Much of the comfort of being the west during the cold war was its material advantage over a captive east. Just as my Estonian friend was fired with envy, we were stoked to feel special by the proximity of our luckless neighbours. And while the moral case against communist regimes was their stifling of freedom, it was economic collapse that did for them. The two were connected, of course. Suppressing dissent was a waste of state resources. Banning free enterprise drove it underground, breeding corruption and undermining the rule of law.”

    “Meanwhile, on both sides of the divide, the case for political liberalism cruised in the slipstream of market capitalism. Western intellectuals and eastern dissidents pleaded for democracy on principle for years before brute economics settled the matter. Worryingly, liberalism doesn’t have as good a record of winning by argument alone as its advocates like to imagine. Fascism, its deadliest enemy, wasn’t debated into submission or outrun in an economic race: it was beaten by military force in a fight to the death, started by the fascists.”

    “Now, as illiberal forces arise in democracy’s heartlands, liberals find themselves frighteningly short of rhetorical tools to defend their cause. ” There is no eastern bloc peering enviously over our fences, testifying to the superiority of our methods. The fences are down, and those we once pitied are treated as interlopers, snaffling scarce resources. And while Britain, the US and western Europe are still among the richest places on Earth, millions who live there do not take it as a blessing. They feel insecure, disenfranchised, cheated.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Uh, no. Capitalism did not “conquer the Eastern bloc”. It fell apart due to its own internal contradictions; its failure to embrace market mechanisms for distribution of goods and services. Command economies are too high energy maintenance to work beyond a relatively short period.

      • h4rr4r

        This is also why big companies stagnate and fail so often.

      • NorthernSaber

        Agree fully. And then the Rise of the Kleptocrats in post-USSR Russia became the worst ad for capitalism in history, begetting the rise of Putin and the autocrats- one of whom now sits in the White House…

      • aktlib101

        Yes and no. It is true, the planned economies of E Europe were poorly functioning and could not compete in the real world. But people were unhappy. They wanted the freedom that the West had. And the Westerners were happy to provide asylum to all those (legal or illegal) defectors from the Eastern bloc. Today, however, like the author said, the old order is gone. After the fall of communism, the unchecked capitalism of the West, in a hunt for more profits, began moving factories and jobs to E Asia, leaving the Western workers with fewer options. Politicians, usually controlled by the rich, voted to strip the working class of protections and deflected the blame for the economic downturns onto terrorists, wars and ultimately the “colored” foreigners/immigrants/refugees. And the white disenfranchised class believed them, because these people are happy to accept their decrepit lives, as long as the politicians tell them they are better than the black and brown hordes ready to invade them from far away countries
        Meanwhile, in the former Eastern Bloc countries, many (true, older generations) people look with nostalgia at their younger selves during Communism, where everyone had a job, health insurance, free education, free child-care. Examples: Poland and Hungary. They keep telling younger people stories about the good old days that magically became much better when compared to the cold reality of their mundane lives. And they all want nothing to do with refugees, muslim or non-muslim. All the ills of Communism are long forgotten. And populist politicians, just like in the US, are encouraging this thinking and get voted in office, since younger people DO NOT VOTE. Sigh !

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Rosanne Barr is just one long slow-motion heartbreak. I never watched Roseanne when I was a kid (which meant that when Johnny Galecki came to my friend’s party by accident and hit on me that I didn’t recognize him, lol), but that show was *so important* to so many of my friends who were growing up as little queers in the Midwest. And fuck yeah, She-Devil is amazing!!!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I hated that show. Lunch bucket Americans stuck in Lunch Bucket, America, leading lunch bucket lives with their lunch bucket children who had no hope except to become lunch bucket adults living in Lunch Bucket, America with their lunch bucket children who had no hope except to become lunch bucket adults…..

    • Doug Langley

      Needz moar lunch buckets.

      • starfanglednut

        Mmmmm…. Lunch….

    • SomeBigRedDog

      What you got against lunch buckets?

    • BosGrl

      I like lunch bucket Americans and would have watched a show about lunch bucket Americans, even with no hope, just living their lives. None of my friends’ parents (and most were lunch bucket) were as nasty as Rosanne. I would not have enjoyed playing with her kids at their house and I would have tried hard to avoid her notice.

      • Ellie

        My kids would have played with her kids and probably not noticed most of the nastiness. She stood up for her kids when they needed it, and it was always obvious she loved them….in the beginning, when it was still a decent show.

    • Ellie

      I am a lunch bucket American and so was my father, who had his faults, but was a good man whom I loved very much. We need factory workers, and motorcycle repair people, and cheap places to eat just as much as we need university professors to teach for the future.

    • OTB

      LOL. In the real world there’d be a lot more alcoholism, disability payments and incest too.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      The Middle does this demo so much better. And the characters are likeable.

    • oldmechanician

      I have been in both professional and working class. I got a Masters degree in art in 1967. I taught a little bit, worked as an equipment tech for 10 years in 2 universities, then did what ever I could to feed my children over the years. After 30 years I finally got the best job I ever had. I impersonated a machinist for the last 10 years until retiring. Now I’m making art again.
      All my life people have said to me something to the effect of “oh you’re so mechanical, I’m just hopeless when it comes to mechanical things”. To a certain extent it is a humble sentiment, but It was never lost on me that it is also a class statement. My best lunches were always the ones I brought.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        What I hated was the absence of any sense of mobility for the characters, that they they should accept their lot in life and not expect any possible changes, at least not up maybe only down. The kids were not going to college, the family was only going to barely hang together out of necessity but in the end the next generations would not be any better off, and maybe worse off, than their parents. I come from a family of farmers and coal miners but my father and uncle went to college and we grew up in homes owned by our parents (thanks GI Bill) and every single one of my cousins went to college. We are now every variety of professional you can name. I hated the show because it seemed to presume the only path for lunch bucket Americans was lateral.

  • Me not sure

    1. Deutsche bank gets fined $630,000,000 by the US gov’t. for laundering Russian dirty
    money.
    2. The US (kinda) elects a man as President who owes ar least $130,000,000 to
    Deutsche bank.
    3. Said President waives the fine for Deutsche bank.
    4. “Sail on o grift of state,”

    Move along, nothing to see here.

    • altleftjohn

      No collusion! No collusion! You’re the collusion!

    • yyyaz

      There ought to be a law …

    • jowgajen

      So, that’s not what happened. (Left Wing propaganda bugs me just as much as Right Wing.)

      What happened was, as part of the penalty for wire fraud related to Libor manipulation, the bank and its subsidiaries were barred from managing retirement funds. The waiver allows the bank to do so. This waiver was originally granted by the Obama administration, and an extension is basically a maintenance of the status quo. The original waiver was given as a bargaining chip for the banks’ cooperation in other regulatory areas. Deutsche bank was given a shorter waiver than the waivers given to several other banks by the Trump administration.

      Now we can argue whether the waivers are in the public interest. Or whether Trump is likely to favor Deutsche Bank, or banks in general, in other ways. But to say that this particular waiver is some sort of payoff is a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge stretch.

      • Me not sure

        So the bank pays nothing?

        • jowgajen

          Actually, they paid a lot.

          In April 2015, Germany’s Deutsche Bank agreed to the largest single settlement in the Libor case, paying $2.5 billion to U.S. and European regulators and entering a guilty plea for its London-based branch. It brings the total amount of fines paid by Deutsche Bank to $3.5 billion, more than twice that of any other institution.

          https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/understanding-libor-scandal

          • Me not sure

            The Libor case goes back to 2012. What I was referring to was a 2017 story from Reuters involving Russian money laundering. Are they related in some way that isn’t clear in the story.
            https://www.reuters.com/article/us-deutsc

          • jowgajen

            The waiver signed last week wasn’t for any sort of fine. But the media has been conflating these ideas for clicks all week.

          • yyyaz

            Exactamundo. Too long to fit in a sound bite.

          • Me not sure

            I see, so the money DB agreed to in the Russian matter is still in play?

          • yyyaz

            Those fines DB paid were for LIBOR manipulation. DB also settled with the DOJ to pay another $7.2 billion in fines for misleading investors in mortgage-backed securities. The waivers, as you stated above, were to allow DB and several other big banks which were convicted of manipulating interest rates as part of a deferred prosecution. As if this weren’t enough, the waivers allow the banks to keep managing retirement accounts.

          • jowgajen

            I’m definitely not defending Deutsche Bank.

          • yyyaz

            LOL. Neither am I, especially when you start adding up all the different kinds of financial fuckery they have been convicted for.

  • Hither and Yawn

    My cynical side says this is less about Roseanne the original character and more about Roseanne the May sweeps week reunion character. Her show played well in states that went for Trump, and the network is looking to capitalize on that.

    • ltmcdies

      I’ll boycott ABC too…I can do that…

  • SomeBigRedDog

    I grew up watching that show. If anyone is a Trump supporter it’s Rosanne’s bitchy mom.

  • Michael R

    .. with Susan Sarandon as the wacky neighbor .

    • therblig

      who dies from polio in the first episode because she never got vaccinated? i hope there’s a laugh track.

    • aktlib101

      They’re neighbors? That explains their Clinton Derangement syndrome.

    • Doug Langley

      “ABNER!!!!”

  • Vicious Babushka

    Roseanne is freaking weird, like bipolar weird. She went from being a fucking bugnuts anti-Semite to wanting to be the Queen of Israel but I will never, ever forget that she made this photo op: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af3fd5885fa4d0ee3ba990dadab22f019806a1ab22f3603444a8328c4bb538fa.jpg

  • NotReallyHere

    What I find sort of ironic is that no conservative that I knew when the original Roseanne was on liked her at all. They all thought she was a shrill bitch, and if she came on TV they would turn the channel. Are they going to like Roseanne now? I doubt it. Who is going to watch this show?

    • SDGeoff3

      The same people who put Putin in the White House.

      • NotReallyHere

        Maybe, and maybe enough time has passed that they forgot they hated Roseanne.

        • SDGeoff3

          Their memories have been proven to be rather short.

    • Vel Venturi

      I guess poor, oppressed Tim Allen can guest star.

  • yyyaz

    Following attacks like Pearl Harbor and 9/11, U.S. presidents have rallied the country and the world to address the challenges facing the nation. Yet the current President of the United States has barely acknowledged the threat posed by Mr. Putin’s repeated attacks on democratic governments and institutions, let alone exercised the kind of leadership history has shown is necessary to effectively counter this kind of aggression. Never before in American history has so clear a threat to national security been so clearly ignored by a U.S. president.

    (emphasis added)

    From: “PUTIN’S ASYMMETRIC ASSAULT ON DEMOCRACY IN RUSSIA AND EUROPE: IMPLICATIONS FOR U.S. NATIONAL SECURITY” (All caps in original)

    A Minority Staff Report Prepared for the Use of the Committee on Foreign Relations, U.S. Senate
    Released this morning. I cadged a pdf copy from a NYT link, but the Times is paywalled, so copy-paste the title and you might be able to find it elsewhere.

    • aktlib101

      And never before in American history has a U.S. President been so clear a threat to national security. While colluding with one of the two major parties and with a foreign power, traditional enemy.
      Dangerous times

      • yyyaz

        I’m hoping Rachel gives this release a shout-out tonight so that it can gain some traction.

    • Lord Jim
      • yyyaz

        Thank you!

        • Lord Jim

          I HAD to download that one.

  • Vel Venturi

    Yeah, the whole thing is disheartening. I was sorry to see all of it. I also enjoyed the show because it featured an outspoken woman who look more like me than 99% of the other women on TV. It’s been pretty crappy seeing all these people, whom I’ve liked, whose work I have enjoyed, turn out to be rampant assholes.

    • Cock Blockula

      I never liked her delivery. Too contrived. I thought her acting and comedic level was very middle school.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Maybe the lotto win season turned out not to be part of a book she was writing and now she’s really against the estate tax? Perhaps Fred Thompson’s one episode cameo as manager of the widget factory really stuck with her?

    • The Wanderer

      The Dessicated Corpse of Fred Thompson was on the old show?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    When your celebrity comes from being loud and obnoxious, it’s pretty hard to stop; you just keep upping the ante to remain relevant. Ask Ann Coulter.

    • Blackest Noobs

      Coulter is a celebrity?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        In Mordor.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The Roseanne character was more than jyst loud and obnoxious, she was funny, and very original back in the day, and she most definitely was NOT a Trump supporter. I’m guessing she thinks portraying a Trump imbecile will bring in a lot of viewers.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m an admitted popular culture idiot, by choice. Never watched her show, she was never even a blip on my consciousness. She seems the same to me now as then…really annoying.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I resisted watching her show for a long time because I thought she was annoying. When I finally watched it i thought it was a surprisingly good show. Same thing with Everybody Loves Raymond.

  • miss_grundy

    I wasn’t planning on seeing this show since I didn’t keep up with the original. At least the Trumpsters will now have an echo chamber on broadcast tv.

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
  • The Wanderer

    Well! Yet another show I won’t watch, ever.

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      Yeah. I think that makes 3,271,489 for me.

  • BosGrl

    I defended the crotch grabbing, too, but Rosanne is a bully. Her TV character was a bully and it’s plain that her true nature is a bully. That’s different than loud. When a person makes me cringe, I avoid that person.

  • OTB

    What a shame. People tend to harden and become more reactionary and frightened as they age. Her national anthem was the best.

    • bluicebank

      I went the other way. More liberal as I age.

      Now think this would be a great rallying song, being old. Many versions, but I like Savoy Brown’s rendition:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igsPOiFY42c

      • puredog

        Christ, you ARE old. You might be even as old as I.

        • bluicebank

          No I’m not. You are the Old. I coulda posta Woodie Guthrie, young whipper snapper. But I dint. Outta respect.

  • buzz

    I am disappointed. The original Roseanne was a show I watched because they were “me”. But “me” is not a Trump voter. Like Darlene I went to college and was brainwashed by the liberal faculty who taught me about history, art, and logic. I won’t be watching the zombie reincarnation of Roseanne.

    • buzz

      Damn it. Forgot the oxford comma.

      • OutOfOrbit

        I donut know what comma are never seen one

        • Blackest Noobs

          semicolon that shit; it’s the derp of grammar.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    I can’t wait for the episode featuring CHIP kids who suffer from preventable illnesses – their families have to take on additional debt to pay the bills. They get all kinds of wacky, part time jobs!

    Rosanne just keeps yelling “suck it up, buttercup. MAGA!” and hilarity ensues.

  • JustPretendImNotHere

    Mueller has the dossier and his team have talked to Steele correct? Presumably, he has given investigators a complete account of his dealings with the FBI. The NYC office needs to be held accountable for any agent who passed along information to the Times and to Rudy G.

    There needs to be firings and criminal charges if warranted. Any agent who did this violated his/her oath and aided and abetted the enemy.

    • puredog

      I don’t think that Mueller’s team has spoken directly to Steele, but I may be wrong about that.

  • The Wanderer
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    It’s hard for me to come up with someone I give less of a fuck about than Roseanne Barr.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Justin Timberlake?

      • h4rr4r

        Incorrect, SNL bits alone were worth it.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Maybe Billy Joel. Or Jimmy Buffet.

      • Stable Genius Demme

        SO talented, though.

    • vivian

      Alan “Thunderpants” McSturble?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That fuckin’ guy….

  • Doug Langley

    Interesting day. Unemployment still hasn’t come through, so not enough to pay rent end of month. Phone up more places hoping to find rent assistance. Called up place, waited on hold for almost half an hour, then as soon as rep gets on, we’re disconnected. I call up again. More hold. Finally reach someone who very nicely and politely tell me they only offer homeless shelter. Great, I have to get evicted before they do anything. She did recommend another number and said she’d connect. Back on hold for another half hour until I hang up in disgust and dial the thing myself. Surprise – it’s the same fucking office!!!

    Classes start next week. Hope all the teaching doesn’t cut into my time trying to live.

    • Blackest Noobs

      good luck, Doug

    • buzz

      Take care. I am sorry this is happening to you.

  • spangled

    I am a Youth™ so I am only aware of Roseanne as a twitter asshole, is the old show really worth seeing or are all of y’all just nostalgic?

    • Bobathonic

      Yes

    • Rick Hill

      It had it’s moments. Part of a show like that is that it wasn’t bad and it did have it’s highlights, partly because you knew the characters over a span of years.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      The first few seasons where pretty good and dealt with problems most people would deal with, the last few seasons just got weirder and weirder and made less sense.

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        As I recall, the show got worse the richer Roseanne got.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Yeah and once she got more control of the show.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah, she wasn’t content to play a working class employee anymore and the show got less and less relatable.

      • Jennifer R

        Her strangely successful restaurant and the weird last season.

    • Jennifer R

      I mean at the time it had its moments to push forward straight acting gay acceptance, but Married… With Children is probably the better aged “dysfunctional family” sitcom.

    • vivian

      Never worked for me. I’ve never really been a fan of the whole idea that gender equality should translate into women behaving like men at their worst. We all have the right to be an asshole. That doesn’t make it a good idea.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Def nostalgic.

    • buzz

      Yes and no. I liked the original series. They dealt with issues of abuse (Jackie as a cop with an abusive boyfriend) and sexuality (Darlene gets her period-it’s actually very good at explaining the getting your period doesn’t mean you have to give up the so called masculine (sports) that you love). But if she is now going to portray as Rosanne Connors as someone that voted for Trump, well, no, as others have posted, Rosanne Connors would have laughed her ass off at the Donald’s ravings.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      After the first few seasons she stopped thinking of herself as a blue collar woman representing the people America was ignoring and started thinking of herself as the big star poet laureate of the little people. It didn’t work well.

  • JaveyDay
    • Swampgas_Man

      Jeebus, I need new glasses– I thought that toe was his dick for a second.

      • OutOfOrbit

        *puking*

  • starfanglednut

    Do any wonkers have experience with humane mouse traps? I saw a mouse in my place, and if I call management, maintenance will probably come up here with some grisly traps/poison, which would be

    A) cruel
    B) dangerous to my birds, and
    C) an ENORMOUS trigger re childhood trauma

    Please no jokes about killing them in some gruesome way? I’m ridiculously triggered right now.

    Thanks, loves.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Try something like this

      https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XGG8LZ5/ref=asc_df_B06XGG8LZ55331934

      or this

      https://www.webstaurantstore.com/jt-eaton-420cl-repeater-multiple-catch-mouse-trap-with-clear-lid-galvanized-steel/605JT420CLGY.html

      The second one is like they used on Billy the Exterminator. (It was a pretty good show and actually taught a little about dealing with insects and animals).

    • jowgajen

      Do you know where the mouse is coming from? Because the solution can be as simple as blocking the hole it is using as ingress to your apartment.

      Mice travel along baseboards, they *never* cross open areas, which may help you determine where the mouse is coming from if you find chewed surfaces or droppings.

      Mouse holes can be as small as or smaller than a dime. Basically anything their head can fit through is fine, as the rest of them is squishy. Plug any potential holes with fine steel wool.

      • h4rr4r

        This!

        You can’t catch them all, but you can block their way in.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        They also leave pheremone tracks to find their way back. Clean any area they were in/route they took with bleach water to confuse them next time and to stop others from following.

      • starfanglednut

        The one I saw came out from under the fridge, so today I pull it out of its corner and took a look. No holes whatsoever, but a few droppings. Not too many. I did find a necklace I thought I’d lost forever and 47 cents, which was cool.

        The thing is I’m on the 5th floor, so unless they can scale 5 stories, it came into my place from elsewhere in the building.

        Could it have come from the walls? Tomorrow I’ll tear the place apart and look for holes.

        If I really have to, I can take the birds with me to a friends house who lives out of town for a week or so and let management do their worst. I’d really rather not, but I’m lucky to have the option.

        • jowgajen

          Look behind the stove for a hole around the gas line. Or under the sink for holes along pipes. Or if you have a radiator, same thing. They are fantastic climbers and the 5th floor is no big deal to them. Check for a gap in the baseboards. Look for holes in the ceiling, or gaps behind cupboards.

          Nest areas will be furry and greasy. It’s unlikely the nest is in your apartment. It’s more likely that the mouse has found a way in for a handy food supply.

          Avoid poison. It’s dangerous. I agree with the humane trap with some peanut butter option.

          • starfanglednut

            Ugh. I’m not sure I can move the stove. I’d be afraid to try, actually. I can do the rest though. The thing is, if they’re in the building, they can just waltz in through the gap under my door. So I’ll try to plug that, and take a hard look at my balcony door too,

            I’ve been in this building for 12 years or so, and have never seen one. I think it just came in because it’s been brutally cold here.

            I can’t believe they can climb five stories! That’s prettty horrifying.

          • jowgajen

            If it’s a gas stove, it seems likely. Just because most kitchens have the fridge over on the stove side, and that’s the most likely opening in the wall. You could also check around the stove ventilation system. Moving it out 6 inches or so should be enough, just far enough to get an arm and/or a flashlight in there.

          • starfanglednut

            It’s an electric stove. Is that better? And in terms of gaps behind cupboards, (they are mounted to the wall but may not be entirely flush), am I looking for holes in the wall there? Ugh. I guess I’ll just do the best I can.

    • bluicebank

      Then you definitely don’t want a cat. Crude-but-effective.

      • jowgajen

        And cute. Murderous. But cute.

        • bluicebank

          Yeah. Cute, and I love them. But they can be like Dothraki on meth when it comes to rodents. Killing mice/rats ain’t good enough. Sometimes a cat feels the need for some serious Medieval shit on the poor thing.

          • jowgajen

            My kitty, Leo, was a champion hunter. We had some baby mice that came up through a hole around the radiator pipe in our apartment in Virginia. He saw it as his personal pez dispenser. Naturally we sealed the hole, but he spent probably two years intermittently sitting on the kitchen floor waiting for more.

            This is the same kitty that we moved to Hawaii with, later. He caught birds from the fifth floor lanai (balcony). It was a small lanai. It was 5 stories in the air. You would think the birds had the upper hand.

      • starfanglednut

        Ugh. Not even remotely a cat person (I think being a bird person may preclude that?), except for Badkitty of course.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          FWIW, strong scents like peppermint and spearmint wreck their olfactory to the point they’ll often leave your house, plus it’ll make your house smell like chewing gum (wear gloves so you don’t get it on you though- amazing how obnoxious a pleasant smell can be if it’s strong enough). Also, if you block their ingress holes, stuff some steel wool in first, as they have a tendency to chew through most anything.

        • bluicebank

          I was once on a ranch that had a rat problem. Then we got a cat. Then two cats. Suddenly, no rats. Adopted a stray kitten, and I witnessed the older cats teaching the Young the way, starting off with lizards. It was like watching the Assassin School.

          “Now Junior, make sure you torture the thing before the kill shot.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or my dog- who will either ignore it because it’s so small or wreck the house trying to get it if he is intrigued.

        • bluicebank

          Dogs can be decent mousers, but they’re aren’t dedicated as per small threats like cats with mice/rats. On the other hand, cats will run like hell if it’s a big threat, whilst dogs will usually protect against all comers.

          Difference between dogs/cats seems that cats (at least in a semi-rural environment) are stone cold killers, while dogs won’t go out of their way to kill anything that moves (unless it’s a threat to “the pack,” then all bets are off).

      • Cock Blockula

        Get an owl if you like birds. However they will regurgitate a pellet full of the mouse’s bones, so maybe that’s not for you…

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7ae6bbaa517990f5c0355307d07e3fa71044dbd651e73a97ee0df5c3fb36554c.jpg

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          not to mention, the owl will hunt her house birds into extinction

          • starfanglednut

            Yeah, pretty sure a cockatiel would look like lunch to an owl. Owls are fabulously awesome though.

          • Cock Blockula

            I was assuming they were caged…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            an owl is liable to figure out how to spring the door

          • Cock Blockula

            I didn’t know they were that smart…

        • starfanglednut

          Oh man, I’d love an owl! But my babies are out of the cage when I’m home.

    • NotReallyHere

      I’m the same way and we used live traps, which are a plastic box that they can get into, but not out of. Then I just dumped them outside. However, plugging the hole is the real solution.

      • starfanglednut

        Which ones do you use? Even if you plug the hole, the mouse is still inside.

        • NotReallyHere

          It was Mice Cube.
          https://www.amazon.com/Mice-Cube-Pk-Reusable-Humane/dp/B000WB13QC

          But we found they hole they were coming through, so no more mice! Yay!

          • starfanglednut

            And they caught the mice without harming them?

          • NotReallyHere

            Yes. Just put a bit of peanut butter on the far end from the door. The mouse goes in, eats the peanut butter, and can’t get out. So, you do need to check them often, because if you leave it too long the mouse will die of starvation. I can’t find it now, but I read something about how mice need to eat frequently.

          • starfanglednut

            THANK YOU!!!

            I will order some. I ordered some metal thing off amazon. Kind of expensive. Perhaps I’ll cancel.

          • NotReallyHere

            Good luck!

      • therblig

        in our first nj apartment, we had mice and the landlord dropped off glue traps. they went right in the garbage and we bought a “tin cat” (cool name). same mechanism as the plastic live traps – the mice go up a little gangplank which drops down and closes the trap door behind them. then, a walk to the park and a chorus of “born free”. the only problem with the metal is that they try to chew their way out and the sound is truly loud. gets them out of the house faster though.

    • RMKH

      As others have said, you need to find how they’re getting in and block it off. If you just deport live mice without blocking their entrance, they will beat you back into the house.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Eh, Roseanne is dead to me. Just like the TrumpPenceZees are FFS.

  • goonemeritus

    I liked her show, I laughed at the few standup bits I have seen but every time I have read her political views I have been sad. I have actively tried to avoid hearing her speak about stuff because I have already lost my ability to watch many of the performers I have enjoyed over the years.

  • Rick Hill

    Same here, at Wonkatania.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a0K8PKv_460s.jpg

    (Btw, Wonkatania is totally in spellcheck.)

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Watch any interview with Roseanne post-Roseanne sitcom and you’ll see someone with deep fucking mental issues. I remember when she had that talk show and she did a Roseanne reunion episode like a year after the show ended and the other actors were like, “WTF?!” when she made them all sing the theme song. But I guess she has a lot in common with Trump since she was a crazy fucking tyrant behind the scenes of Roseanne.

    • Rick Hill

      She married Tom Arnold. End of story.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        What a shitshow that was.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      She was coming unglued while the show was still on. Once she became a bankable celebrity the crazy train took off.

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    So Donald’s position is now that it would be a waste of time for him to give evidence because he did nothing wrong?

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jan/10/donald-trump-russia-special-counsel-interview

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He never intended to. He just lied about it to appear rational and reasonable, thinking it would never actually come to this.

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        I suppose it means his lawyers are doing their jobs. If Donald’s put under oath, he’ll perjure himself, even if there’s no need to lie..

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That’s what the take was from the smart people I heard today. He’d be his own attorney’s worst nightmare answering Mueller’s questions. If you ever watched that clip of him being deposed when he was suing Tim O’Brien, he becomes a servile, obsequious little asskiss in situations where he knows he’s not in charge.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            I’ve not seen that. Will look it up.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The classic bully, when someone with power stands up to him. He grovels….then sneaks back in and puts a thumbtack on their chair when they aren’t looking.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            he is such a quintessential bully/coward

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            It’s strange how the two go hand in glove so often. Usually in people who aspire to be thugs but just can’t make the cut.

          • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

            He really is President Cartman

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            Cartman would be preferable.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I really don’t get why everyone kowtows to him. Stand up to him and he’ll fetch your lunch, shine your shoes, and clean your toilet.

          • Tishalicious

            The Atlantic has a longread about that today.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            Found it. Thank you.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Basically, his lawyers finally pounded it through his thick skull- WTF ARE YOU THINKING?

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            Is being Donald’s attorney a job which requires a mallet?

  • John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, and Laurie Metcalf, at the very least, do not in any sense need this aggravation. I hope they are getting a HELL of a lot of money for this.

    • yyyaz

      Doing the wrong thing for a giant payday is even worse. IMHO

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      And Johnny Galecki and Sarah Chalke. The guy who played Mark I guess is lucky since he’s dead.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Darlene died in Season 2 of 24. (I’ve always told myself that that was in fact Darlene.)

  • Nounverb911

    I have no plans to watch, but for those that do, make sure you wear protection in case she sings….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls1YVhcLD2c

  • Nounverb911
  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

    This made me think of Donnie:

    “When Jim Donell thought of something to say he said it as often and in as many ways as possible, perhaps because he had very few ideas and had to wring each one dry.”
    ― Shirley Jackson, We Have Always Lived in the Castle

  • Rick Hill

    So do any of you tech-Wonkers have a simple primer on taking a flac file, one that has an entire album but comes with a .cue file that will break it up into it’s component songs? And by simple I mean is there a program that I can just click “Make this thing work the way I want it to” button?

    • Michael R

      Are these all things ?

      • Rick Hill

        They are the words that describe the files I have.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        it is the way you should shrink music, instead of ruining it by making mp3s

        • Michael R

          are we back in the Limewire ages ?

          • data_ninja

            I’m feeling tired so I should take a napster?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            no, limewire was how you stole it (peer to peer file trading). FLAC is a better format for reducing file size because it’s lossless (that’s what the L stands for)

          • Rick Hill

            How can you steal it? I mean, it’s just ones and zeros. Does anyone own those?

        • data_ninja

          My music collection libelz!

        • Rick Hill

          Yeah it’s shrunk but it then you have to compress your hearing to be able to enjoy it…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            just fold your ears in half- that’s roughly 50% compression

          • starfanglednut

            I use clothespins myself.

    • Zippy W Pinhead
      • Rick Hill

        Thanks.

    • Maxine Headroom

      I’ve done that in foobar2000 — I’m at work so I can’t open to double-check, but I think it’s as easy as opening the .cue file in the player, right-clicking, and picking “Convert tracks”.

      http://www.foobar2000.org/

      • Rick Hill

        Thanks

  • Mike Minden

    Just another case of “I got mine – F’U”

  • Blackest Noobs

    but really…do we fucking need to reboot everything?

    i get it, we’ve run out of ideas. (we haven’t, we’re just lazy)

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      They even turned Lethal Weapon into a tv series.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Speaking of bigots….

      • Blackest Noobs

        i know, ugh. i was trying to wash out all that 80’s action flick shit outha my head and replace it with more John Woo.

    • Blackest Noobs

      p.s. maybe Dan is a cylon….it would explain how he got back to life.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        He is a cyberman.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Agreed. Why did we ever need “Fuller House?” The original was a pretty shitty, unfunny show. I believe most people were being ironic in their like for it.

      • Blackest Noobs

        so never seen but i assume it basically the same situation the original show was, i.e. guy/gal has kids raising them alone so brings in friends to live with them…but what wouldve made it interesting if the show’s characters were like shit are we fucking cursed, why are we just like our dad, and why are our lives eerily similar, and maybe breaking the 4th wall ala deadpool but with less of the deaths and blood or more…i dunno…so much to mine here.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          I had to watch the first episode. It was all entirely 100% reference to the original show and wink to the camera. I didn’t watch the original show but you could tell by the audience reaction.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            You’ve got to be kiddn’ me!
            (I think that was the catch phrase, I sent that show down the memory hole when Kirk Cameron became all Fundie)

      • therblig

        i dearly love my co-workers, but they spent about an hour yesterday talking about “fuller house”.

    • Doug Langley

      I’ve worked with Hollwood people. They cannot take a chance on an unknown property. They only green light stuff proven to be a money maker. A best selling book, a successful play, TV show, movie, etc. That’s why they’re obsessed with sequels, reboots, prequels, spin offs . . .

    • msanthropesmr

      I know, it seems like we have run out of ideas.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Nothing new under the sun
        Everything worth inventing has already been patented

        • JaveyDay

          *patent-pending

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bush 43 II: Waterboard Harder!

      • The King and II….

        • Bobathonic

          II, Robot Robot

          • Msgr_MΩment

            IISWYDT.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s not so much that we’ve run out of new ideas, it’s just that they don’t want to take a risk on something new.

  • Bananas Foster

    So, the interview on Monday didn’t go great.

    But, I can see the status of my application online (I’d be working for the county), and it says I’m still in the screening process… Of course, they could just not have updated it yet.

    I’m not sure I’d even take the job if they offered it to me, but I really really want them to offer it to me.

    I’m too old to need other people’s validation this much!

    • data_ninja

      I got a county job about a year ago. I felt my interviews did not go well, but they hired me. It was a very long hiring process too, 6 months between applying online to being offered position. I hope yours is quicker!

      • Bananas Foster

        Heh. I will definitely loose interest if it takes six months!

      • It seems to work that way for a lot of government positions. One of the local state agencies is hiring, and one of the gripes I’ve heard from one of the supervisors there is that they did the interviews back in October, and they’re still waiting on approval to actually bring someone on board.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Just got home from interview at IKEA. I hear ya, BF.

      • Bananas Foster

        Good luck!

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Did they ask you to put a chair together? Because that’s a trap. They just needed another chair.

    • starfanglednut

      That kinda stuff is so hard. Best of luck! And remember we think you’re awesome whether you get the job or not.

      • Bananas Foster

        *purrs*

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Speaking of being fucked up in Denver. It’s raining. In the middle of January.

    Raining.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Good thing global warming is just a liberal hoax.

      • starfanglednut

        Phew! I was getting worried.

    • JaveyDay

      Things to do in Denver when you’re wet?

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        iswydt

        “Man With The Plan: One minute you’re saving the rainforest,the next,you’re chugging cock.”

        • JaveyDay

          “I only ate shit once”

  • Rick Hill

    But this year, yeah, this year….
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aKjwdXO_460s.jpg

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Does anyone know if George will make a cameo on the reboot?

    http://outloudculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/joseph-gordonlevitt.jpg

    • OutOfOrbit

      Where is he now?

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • TootsStansbury

    I was never a fan, she seemed one-dimensional to me. Anyway, not really American is not randomly hating on Tr*mp voters; that is a strawman. Not really American is siding with Nazis, Russians and oligarchs. The fuck is wrong with you?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Anyone remember the episode from back in the 1st season where Fred Thompson was the factory supervisor and he degraded and condescended to the female workers? In response, Roseanne and all her friends quit. So what you’re now saying is that Roseanne Connor would be totally cool with that.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      THAT’S the episode that taught me what a union meant! Also too, fuck, that was Fred Thompson!?!

  • shastakoala

    I remember seeing Roseanne on a talk show many years ago gushing over the good looks of George W. I was shocked I tell you, shocked!

  • So I read that the Trumpsplainers are saying that his use of people’s names in that DACA meeting is proof that he’s not senile, no way, no how.

    No, it’s simply proof that he could read the NAME CARDS IN FRONT OF EACH OF THEM.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      See? He can too read! Just like a real stable genius!

    • JaveyDay

      He had an earbud in with someone else reading the names.

    • Shibusa

      Srsly. Could the bar be ANY lower for Trump?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I can’t wait to see the laudatory video of him tying his own shoes. “See, libtards, fully functional!”

        • Shibusa

          Even Mr. Shibusa (who hates Trump) was like, “Hey he sounded perfectly sane in that meeting.” 🙄

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Hope that earned him a backhand from you.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Honestly, I didn’t think he could read. If he did, he truly did exceed my expectations.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      But the New York Times said he is redefining the office.

  • amrak63

    Probably another one-and-done post. Pesky Real Life keeps getting in the way.

    Anyone else learn to like this song from its use in AMV Hell?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTIIMJ9tUc8

    • Tishalicious

      YES.

  • wait! what?

    Maybe we’ll see some guest drive bys by Victoria Jackson and Dennis Miller.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
      • JaveyDay

        Is pony headbutting a piano?

        • everstar

          Pony is in touch with her inner Don Music.

    • yyyaz

      Maybe SNL would get something funny out of that.

    • Rick Hill

      But Dennis Miller was great, in that one movie. The one with Sandra Bullock, here he gets murdered. Yeah, that was a good one.

      • wait! what?

        He got murdered in “Bordello of Blood,” too.

        • Tishalicious

          Yeah, but not ’til the end..

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Bill Mahar and Ann Coulter can be the wacky neighbors.

      • Rick Hill

        Yikes, I just heard that creazy beech tonight going on about the Dreamers. Never heard her voice before, what a loon

        • Stinky_Hole

          Desperately trying to land an invite to Fux-n-friends, is what it sounded like to me.

    • Rick Hill

      Tim Allen, too

      • wait! what?

        He’ll be called “Peeper.” The only way he converses with Roseanne is through a waist high hole in her fence.

        • Rick Hill

          “Thanks for the advice…Hey, what are you doing back there. Your hands aren’t on the fence anymore…what’s that odd sound?”

  • JaveyDay
  • Like Really Smart Radio

    My spicy spicy dinner’s got me sweating!

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      What did you make?

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        “Mee goreng,” a Korean spicy ramen noodley thing with egg and pork and it was very yummy, I probably added too much jalapeño though, but it was really good!

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          That sounds good, never tried it before though but I do like spicy foods.

          I just did leftover tacos tonight. I was going to make BLT’s but decided to do that tomorrow with french onion soup.

  • yyyaz

    I love how Cheetolini wrapped himself up straightjacket style while saying “No collusion!” seventy-eleven times in 20 seconds today. Mr. Fart of the Squeal doesn’t even have a clue how body language works.

    • Shan

      He does when he shakes hands, though.

      • yyyaz

        One-trick pony.

        (no diss on ponies)

  • OT Darrell Issa (who spells Daryl wrong) is leaving Congress to return to a more dignified vocation…stealing cars.

  • wait! what?
    • everstar

      That’s kendo, yeah? That’s so cool.

      • wait! what?

        I was thinking more along the lines of Tameshigiri.

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tameshigiri

        • everstar

          Ah, I didn’t know there was a specific sport dedicated to hunting down the wild bamboo stalk and slicing it in twain (or thrain). Neat!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Give her one thing: now Tim Allen is stuck trying to explain why someone isn’t paying him to star in an unpopular and unfunny sitcom without using the words political correctness.

  • When you are a rookie in the NBA, you still have to pay your dues, which means you’re supposed to do a chore for a veteran. Do not slack off, because payback can be … interesting. (and funny)
    https://twitter.com/TheCrossover/status/950911858348904449?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.si.com%2Fextra-mustard%2F2018%2F01%2F10%2Fbruins-canucks-hockey-wedding-hot-clicks

  • Smoke O’Hontas

    Thank you, Robyn! I grew up setting the VCR to tape Rosanne when I was out mucking the barn (not a euphamism, that was one of my chores). I remember the episode where she led the resistance at the plastics factory, and I think that episode shaped my commie values more than any book I read subsequently, mostly because I may not have picked up The Peoples’ History or Steal This Book if it had not seen a group of poorly treated, feisty blue collar workers drop their punch cards onto the ground while giving the slimy boss the best side eye ever. I love Rosanne Connor. Roseanne Barr can kiss my commie, feminist, literate ass.
    Also, the Halloween episodes were great!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Cocaine is a helluva drug.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Some of the folks I know have “80s throw back” parties. They’re millenials, and I can’t bring myself to tell them how wrong they’re doing it.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          The ’80s were very good to me. I was thin, young, had fabulous hair, and lived in NYC. I only wish I knew then that I was living in the last original decade. The past 30 years have been dull and unimaginative. The only interesting thing that happened was the internet, and that hasn’t been entirely good, even though i have met some nice and funny people – like you!

  • Rick Hill

    So, what’s the character’s arc? Is she going to be ever more maniacally denying reality to affirm her choice of trump and finally wind up in a clock tower with a sniper rifle?

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Are they going to pretend like the last season didn’t happen? Dan died and they won the lottery.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        The dream was a dream.

        • JaveyDay

          Dimception.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Derpception.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      They will go out and join the alt-right rally with Milo Yabadabadoopolis and try and trigger liberals.

      • Rick Hill

        “Yeah. Post that. That’ll trigger some snowflakes….transgender, my ass.”

    • everstar

      I was going to say something really tasteless about family annihilators but then it just made me sad.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’d watch that.

  • Blackest Noobs

    question:

    why do asians who mountain bike and post their vids on youtube play the worst music there ever was?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I think everyone who posts a video on youtube picks the same horrible music, its like their only options are shitty or shittier music.

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        My husband is into quadcopter vids and this definitely seems to be the case

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Yakkety sax?

      • Blackest Noobs

        but it’s even worse with the asian videos ( and it’s ok, i got asiany dna in me, so i can be a bit racisty about ’em)

    • therblig
      • Juan de Fuca

        Inspiring mountain bike skills. Horrible, yet funny music. And the outtakes cracked me up.

  • Lefty Wright

    As someone who gained her fame by being loud and obnoxious, why is it surprising Barr voted for the loud and obnoxious candidate?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Because she’s always been a hardcore progressive. She voted Obama in 08. If you go back and look at the show you’ll see that, for its time, Roseanne was an extremely progressive show not just with issues affecting the working class, but also in regards to social issues. Roseanne was one of the first, if not the first, show to portray gay and lesbian characters without stereotyping them. The show tackled things like Roseanne having to get birth control for her daughter, workers’ rights, racism etc etc.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I think her show had the first gay kiss on air – Sandra Bernhard and Mariel Hemingway, if I remember correctly.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          And possibly the first male kiss between Martin Mull and Fred Willard.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I don’t remember that, but I’m hoping it happened, because those are two of my favorites.

      • everstar

        So the lobotomy happened sometime between 2008 and 2016?

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          No. She definitely lost her mind completely after the last season.

          • everstar

            That’s so sad. I’m not a big sitcom fan, but I liked Roseanne.

  • Michael R

    Roseanne Barr on Obama :

    ” He has no ideas, no plan and nothing to add other than the cynical pacification of the masses with bedtime stories about hope “

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I don’t get that, why is hope for a better future a bad thing?

      • Parakeetist

        Because it’s an emotion, and sociopaths don’t like that.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Damn you Obama, pacifying the masses by saving the economy!

      • Michael R

        Maybe saving the economy isn’t an ” idea “

        • Left Coast Tom

          It is, however, something to add, and required a plan.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Yeah, when I was clinically derpressed from being wiped out financially, the one thing i didn’t need was hope. What I really needed were some good ole fashioned thoughts and prayers from Crotchety McCain and Sister Sarah.

      • Timothy Watson

        Thanks, Obama.

        Wait, I’m not sure if I was being ironic there or not…

    • wait! what?

      It sure is a shame that Donald feels the need to dismantle all those “stories.”

    • Jon Sussex

      Yes, please, do stir up the Nazis Mr. President.

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      That means a great deal, coming from such a notable thinker and public policy expert as herself.

    • Bananas Foster

      “the cynical pacification of the masses with bedtime stories about hope”

      That could almost be the textbook definition of a sitcom.

    • ltmcdies

      Says the actress who makes make believe sit coms

  • Picabo
    • TJ Barke

      Hope she’s got security.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I thought she already took office? She has been acting like it and actually helping people since the election.

    • Thiazin Red

      1. Historic step for the country and good for her. Hopefully if more people see that trans-people aren’t monsters there will be greater acceptance.

      2. Her hair is consistently amazing. Just really awesome.

    • Bananas Foster

      She has gorgeous hair.

      • everstar

        Ugh, I wish I could look half that flawless.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I know we’re non-violent, peaceful, gay refugee huggers around here, but has anyone watched the TMZ tape of Harvey Weinstein getting bitch slapped by a dude half his size? The most shocking part is how the tyrannical bully runs away…from a guy that I could beat up. What a little girly man!

    • Rick Hill

      Sorry, I’m not really hugging any nonviolent trees and their referees.

    • Rick Hill
      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Weinstein made the cowardly lion look fierce. He’s truly pathetic in the clip, he runs and hides behind another man. I guess it’s true what they say about bullies…

        • Rick Hill

          “I guess it’s true what they say about bullies.”

          They grew up to be republicans?(The poor ones, not the rich republicans)
          Any rate, yeah, that’s pretty cravenly,

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            …and also, too, that they’re really cowards.

        • Rick Hill

          Besides, hey! I’m challenging you. Think yer so tuff? Huh? Do ya, punk?

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      TMZ is for cable having elitists!

      • James

        Not having a television libelz.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Or people who have a smartphone and can Google it.

        I highly recommend watching the tape. It’s fun watching a bully run away. I only hope the guy who bitch slapped Harvey can find Chris Christie at a restaurant and do the same thing to him.

  • aktlib101
    • TJ Barke

      And then conned/cheated his way into the white house.

      • OrG Unstable Genius

        He was just along for the ride. I blame pooty poot.

    • Juan de Fuca

      He had me fooled too and it wasn’t until a commenter on Wonkette corrected me, with a link, a year or so ago.

      I’m not one of those ‘prestigious’ college snobs but how do you go to Wharton, only to get a bachelor’s degree and then keep bragging about how you went to a school that’s best known for it’s MBA program and keep going on about how you have the highest IQ?

      Oh wait – it’s Donald Trump, so yeah.

      • aktlib101

        IQ45. The best.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Jesus, fooled me too. All this time I had in my head he was a Wharton MBA, which really made me question the reputation of their highly-lauded program.

      • aktlib101

        Heh, remember Chimpy and his accomplishments?

        “President GEORGE W. BUSH: To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students…
        (Soundbite of laughter, cheering and applause)

        Pres. BUSH: …I say you, too, can be president of the United States.
        (Soundbite of cheering and applause)

        BLOCK: That’s President Bush during a commencement speech at Yale in 2001.”

        But Chimpy has an MBA from Harvard. So there is that.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    This begs for photoshopping. “Also According to one source, he believes the human body is “like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depletes”.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/963c457bb049eabb2a56c9d499cb87f9c27e4d674de59cf29a383cc982b11328.png

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42614426

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’m actually OK with him thinking lying in bed scarfing cheeseburgers with fries and anger-tweeting Fox News is, somehow, helping his health. Hell, he should pour gravy over those fries.

      • James

        Poutine libelz.

    • aktlib101

      I wonder, maybe the reason he acts so stupid all the time is that he is “conserving” his brain; his brain possibly has a finite amount of energy also, too

    • HazooToo

      And I still don’t understand how that won. Even if Russia flew in 3 million Russians overnight to vote for him, he should have been squashed like a bug, JUST for ONE of the facets of his failure.

  • greyXstar

    Thank you for this, Robyn. I was thinking maybe I was remembering the show completely differently and was getting worried about myself.

  • everstar

    Listening to Archibald Cox’s press conference on Nixon’s refusal to release the tapes to his investigation. Is it wrong that I’ve had a bit of a crush on him ever since I got hooked on a three-part Watergate documentary in the ’90’s?

    (Yes, I am the sort of person who spent her high school years memorizing Watergate documentaries and episodes of MST3k.)

    Anyway, I always loved this exchange between Mr. Cox and a reporter after he’d finished his statement:

    Q. How could you expect to succeed in this job? How could you expect to succeed?
    A. Well, I thought it was worth a try. I thought it was important. If it might be done, I thought it would help the country. And if I lost, what the hell!

    I believe Robert Mueller likely has this stitched on a throw pillow in his office.

  • Michael R

    Roseanne posted an “Open Letter To Congress” on her personal website

    ” I write this letter urging you to stop the dictatorship initiated in the Executive Branch. The White House under Obama has made direct attacks against the 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th amendments to the Constitution. These acts include the attack on whistleblowers, contriving false flag terror attacks to remove the 2nd amendment (Boston Marathon; case in point), NSA Spying Scandal, and murdering innocent people with drones. Obama has shown utter contempt for the Constitution and the Rule of Law, however it is the cowardice of Congress that makes these things possible. “

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Who knew she’d also be a racist loon?

      • Blackest Noobs

        uh, anyone.

      • mrsatyre

        So it’s racist to disagree with the president based on his policy decisions? If so, then all of the liberals who are rabidly anti-Trump are guilty of racism.

        • Spurning Beer

          Dude, you took a wrong turn.

          Infowars is over there.

        • Left Coast Tom

          “based on his policy decisions”? No. But, if you approve of far more, from Trump, than you’re loudly condemning from Obama, and you previously ran for President as a leftier-than-thou Peace and Freedom Party member, then one might reasonably wonder what’s different about Obama than the, much worse by that very metric, Trump.

          • Stinky_Hole

            Itt might want to amend his comment – her diatribe isn’t necessarily racist (although it does tack awful close to ‘dog-whistle’ waters). Looney it is, though. Either she was high or the person she was parroting was.

          • Left Coast Tom

            To my mind racism is a reasonable conclusion to draw from that commentary, when taken in context. Again – you object to certain things from Obama enough to run for President, then support far more of the very same things from Trump – tell me what the difference is?

        • Michael R
        • Bigly smart jesterpunk
        • HazooToo

          The Basket of Deplorables has now become the Basket of Unforgivables. Get the fuck back to Drudge, you spineless loathesome shitwagon.

        • yyyaz

          Satyre, eh. Moar like sad and tired.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Enjoy! These guys are Swiss, so you can share it with your friends at The Firearm Blog and Guns.com happily.

          https://youtu.be/JHXNaYoguNU

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          So you agree with Roseanne that the Boston Marathon bombing was a false flag operation? ‘Cause her mention of it sure don’t have anything to do with *policy*. Also too… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fe881d78c3c87f6956aead66070567be0e8e3ed061d7fa8a86ad348585c42d41.jpg

        • Red Richmond
        • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

          Does Dr.Johnson know you have his passport photo?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Well. She seems nice.

    • Bananas Foster

      Oh good, she’s a conspiracy theorist too.

      She’s so diverse!

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

    I wonder if Roseanne will offer roles to Scott Baio, Antonio Sabato Jr. and Stacy Dash? (I doubt even she would stoop as low as Victoria Jackson, however…)

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Thanks a lot, Roseanne! You’ve been replaced as my favorite sitcom by Married….with Children. At least that was a satire of things that right wingers hold near and dear.

  • aktlib101

    Leaky leaks will leak on leaking:
    “White House staffers leak memo from Gen. Kelly detailing new cell phone policy designed to prevent leaks”
    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/white-house-staffers-leak-memo-from-gen-kelly-detailing-new-cell-phone-policy-designed-to-prevent-leaks/

    https://twitter.com/IsaacDovere/status/951207095134769152

    • everstar

      [lolsobs for fifty million years]

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      SOMEbody recognizes the power of irony over there.

      Kudos to whoever it was.

      • JaveyDay

        Are your space tacos high in proton?

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Obligatory Python: ‘We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked. The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.”

  • Spurning Beer

    A stand-up joke of Roseanne’s from 1984 or so tickled me.

    “A friend of mine said, ‘[nasal whining] Roseanne, you know, you’re not very feminine!’ So I said, ‘Suck my dick.'”

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      True story. That joke inspired my feminist self to tell my male coworkers to suck my dick when they were being jerks. It works best if you give a little wink and smile after—folks don’t know whether to laugh or be offended.

      I am a very delicate flower of femininity.

      • Me not sure

        If the “c word” is coquette you are there.

      • (((Sedagive)))

        True story:

        A Jazz-age-stylish, petitie lesbian college friend of mine used to grab her crotch like a dude and proclaim “I got your _______ right here!” (as in: “I got your free market right here!”).

        I still do this. Always provokes guffaws and nervous laughter.

        I, too, am a very delicate feminine flower.

      • everstar

        I am sufficiently Midwestern that I don’t think I could manage that. I’m not sure I’d manage anything beyond an incredulous stare.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bananas Foster

      On crack.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • data_ninja

    Remember the guy with the passion for old calculators? He might be the very definition of ‘eccentric’, but is still incredibly interesting.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k3mVnRlQLU

    • Michael R
      • Blackest Noobs

        new bong?

        • data_ninja

          That looks like bongception.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      I’m so impressed, that guy is awesome. And not to be dark or anything, but glad he’s got a fun and useful hobby and not using all that creativity and know-how to build dungeons for kidnapped girls under his house. Wait- I’m not suggesting that he seemed like the type who’d be into that! Just I’m watching SVU right now and when he popped open the hidden door to his warehouse I couldn’t help but think of what a creep might try to do!

  • Call me a pessimist, but I don’t think George Clooney will be making a guest appearance.

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1904, Ray Bolger.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs

    • Carpe Vagenda

      sniff.

      • everstar

        Do you miss him most of all?

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Even that makes me tear up. The real scene leaves me a weepy mess.

          • everstar

            Awww. I have to admit I’m not terribly sentimental about The Wizard of Oz in part because I never understood why Dorothy was so damn desperate to get home. But I don’t judge; I still cry at the end of Wrath of Khan.

          • DrBigHead

            I won’t judge. Hell, I got misty-eyed at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy 2

          • everstar

            I have to admit I didn’t see it.

          • DrBigHead

            Goofy as hell, but a lot of fun. Will never listen to “Father and Son” the same way again.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He was my favoritest.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Best line in the movie. Never fails to get the waterworks flowing.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Douchebag who sexually harassed Washington Post colleagues was unhinged Hillary basher, we’re all shocked to hear.

    https://twitter.com/mrsmaris/status/951199997801979904

    • ManchuCandidate

      He needs a shock collar around his dick when he gets dicky.

      • Ellie

        May I have the remote, please?

        • everstar

          I was just going to tape the button down.

        • Lefty Wright

          They need to have a separate code for universal remotes

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Well, now, that is surprising.

    • HazooToo

      “What? Women are things.” – Achenbach, probably.

    • Lefty Wright

      Good. Just happened about two years too late.

    • JaveyDay

      Ask Howard Dean, indeed. Completely contrived attacks from the
      “Liberal Media” over total non-issues. In his case, an isolated audio track of his “scream” at a rally that was taken completely out of its context.

      • everstar

        I never understood that. The man shows genuine enthusiasm so we decide we don’t want him as a candidate? Same thing with people slagging Gore as a policy wonk. Oh, no, a president who’s interested in the mechanics of government, how onerous.

        • HazooToo

          Thaaaaaaaank you! I thought the scream was funny, the first two times I heard it, but jesus christ…

          • everstar

            I mean, he looked goofy, but so what? We must only choose candidates with immaculate public faces? It was such an absurd, petty criterion on which to dismiss his entire candidacy.

          • HazooToo

            I wasn’t even remotely interested in politics then, but even I knew that was stupid.

          • everstar

            I’ve been raised by someone who honest to god goes to his local Senate district meetings. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t been.

          • Stable Genius Demme

            Yeah, back in the day, my daughter told me ruefully, that she was the only one in class that knew who Dennis Kucinich was.
            This was followed by a snarky, “Thanks, mom!”

          • everstar

            Ha! For my part I never understood why other kids didn’t know, for example, why the Democratic party in Minnesota was known as the DFL. I also stomped into my social science teacher’s room the morning after the 1992 election and announced I was very upset.

            Oddly, I was not popular.

  • Left Coast Tom

    Now that we’re finally getting winter here in the Bay Area…a cool picture of yesterday’s big storm:

    Polar-orbiting 🛰️ capturing the storm system that brought moderate to heavy rain to much of California over the past day and a half. #CAstorm #CAwx pic.twitter.com/VfIbTF5zEd— NWS Bay Area (@NWSBayArea) January 9, 2018

    • WannabeTraveler

      Is your avatar a pic from Brooks Falls?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Yes, and I took it myself back in the ancient days of film (2002) (it’s hard to see here, but that discoloration on the far right is actually a mid-air salmon).

        • WannabeTraveler

          One of the places on my bucket list. I seemed to take better pictures with film than with a digital camera, I think because there was a cost for every shot, that I took more time getting the great pic,,,than mass clicking of the digital photos.

          • Left Coast Tom

            I was later than some in moving to digital, but in this case…if you’re trying to catch a photo of a mid-air salmon, then digital’s “delete” function is wonderful. This use case burned through an absurd amount of film.

            Katmai is awesome. I spent a couple days around Brooks Falls, then backpacked in the Valley of 10000 Smokes, then back to Brooks.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      California has reached a new low.

      I’ll see myself out of the weather station, thanks.

    • Rick Hill

      So, calamity from catastrophic weather events, economic peril from the unopposed upper class, world events by a lack of guidance from the last super power. no problema, I saw this movie, once. The steady, unwavering leadership from Washington will save us all….

      Not!

  • Rick Hill

    Saw this at the community bulletin board…
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/adK08gN_460s.jpg

  • Last I heard of her, Roseanne was a Green Party supporter.

    This is Red-Brown, “socialists allying with fascists against the hated Libtards”, apocalyptically bad politics.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Seems dat happened b4?

    • Left Coast Tom

      “Peace and Freedom Party”, 2012. She ran for President.

  • Smoke O’Hontas

    Did anyone watch her short lived show Roseanne’s Nuts? I think she owned a macadamia nut farm in Hawaii, and trouble ensued…I only saw one episode while I was staying at a hotel with expanded cable. I recall she was going to hang out with Willie Nelson, but that may have been a fever dream from the bedbug bites.

    • Michael R

      Her book is appropriately titled :
      Dispatches from the Nut Farm

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Slaves all had jobs, but that did not “fight racism”.

  • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪
  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Damn, hooked me a troll down thread. On Michael R’s non-comment about Roseanne.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      How far down?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Look for Gordon Ramsey. Its near the bottom of the page before you have to click for more.

    • bluicebank

      I always miss those. Like today, when an important package was promised and, yeah, it doesn’t even exist on the UPS tracking (except for the usual “a label was created” ruse).

      I blame Trump. If it weren’t for him, shit out of Vegas would actually leave Vegas.

    • Red Richmond

      I only saw one comment from the troll, but I offered it help in the form of a Clippy. Will it click yes? Let’s find out!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Gave it a drumline. But it seems one and done.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Off any possible topic, but this is just so damned cool. Also, I want a hat with a giant white feather in it.

    https://youtu.be/YjnATVxrN4U

    • JaveyDay

      Not so secret anymore.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Awesome! =D. You have just cured my hatred of the Swiss.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I genuinely am curious about your Swissphobia. I remember you mentioning that you hate them on another thread. Were you forced to eat mediocre Swiss cheese? Or perhaps had to hear “Heidi” in the original German by an over-enthusiastic nanny who did funny voices? Or did you watch their men’s team at the World Cup in 2010?

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          It is completely irrational. The Top Secret Drum Core may be the cure.

        • theCryptofishist

          In my case, it’s a distrust of smug and self-satisfied. If I knew for sure that there really were border guards who watch and did nothing as jews self-immolated, I’d add that in.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Fair enough. But those border guards are probably all long dead by now.

    • Stable Genius Demme

      So great!
      Love the hats!
      Love the English:”Top Secret Drum Corps!”

    • memzilla Ω
  • Bananas Foster

    25 Things You Don’t Know About Me: Roseanne Barr
    http://www.bostonherald.com/inside_track/celebrity_news/2014/11/25_things_you_dont_know_about_me_roseanne_barr

    6. I’m bipolar and have ADHD and multiple-personality disorder – but
    they’re all now in remission due to the powerful drugs I smoke.

    THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

    Jesus fucking christ on goddamn cracker. (But, considering she used an outdated term for disassociate identity disorder in 2014, I think she may be self diagnosed. Especially since she doesn’t mention PTSD, which is almost always found with DID. Unfortunately, the bipolar rings true to me.)

    • everstar

      Yeah, ADHD doesn’t go into remission, more’s the pity. And I don’t think weed has the same effect as the stimulants usually prescribed for it. (At least, I assume she means weed.)

      • redarmyzombie

        I’m not so sure I’d take that bet…

        • everstar

          Yeah, it occurred to me after I hit the post button that I’d just demonstrated a degree of charming naïveté.

    • HazooToo

      So she’s self medicating with drugs, and we’re wondering why she’s now acting like a complete asshole?

      • everstar

        No, no, she’s not self-medicating, she’s taking an anti-Big-Pharma holistic approach.

        • HazooToo

          Sure, those words are prettier, why not? Still nuttier than squirrel turds, but also now high!

          • everstar

            Look, if I can say it in a way that sounds less bonkers, that automatically means it’s less bonkers!

          • HazooToo

            In that case, I’d like you to please come up with some less bonkers excuses for me to only leave my house on voting days, and then avoid humanity in general for the rest of my life.

          • everstar

            Allergies?

          • theCryptofishist

            Gotta go with chemical sensitivity.

          • everstar

            I was also going to suggest Paralyzing Trump Stress Disorder.

          • HazooToo

            Perfect! I’m allergic to complete assholes, there’s at least one of them on every human. Thank you.

        • Bobathonic

          So…rocks in her hoo-ha?

          • everstar

            I don’t know, but you feel free to go find out!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I think the Dewey Decimal system is a bit…archaic, but “disagree” with it. WTF does that even mean?

      • Timothy Watson

        Reminds me of the people who say the metric system is a “made-up system”; because measurement systems naturally occur?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          And I’m not real down with the metric system either, being a user of fractional tape measures. But yeah, it’s not like it’s a fraud or anything.

          • Johnatx

            Cubits and rods or GTFO!!

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      You get the feeling she just ran through a bunch of terms and whatever quack she was seeing agreed to get her the hell away from them?

      • everstar

        She rolled 2d10 on the DSM table three times.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      I don’t want her on Team Bipolar, but it rings true to me, too. If so, no fucking way is it in remission. She 100% sounds self-diagnosed, too.

      • Bananas Foster

        As a proud member of team bipolar, I’m not terribly about it either…

        • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

          Gotta take the Roseanne Barrs with the Carrie Fishers, I suppose

    • Stable Genius Demme

      So, she doesn’t have a problem with Lil’ Jeffy?
      Or is she a stoner Reep/Libertarian?

  • Paperless Tiger

    A sitcom about a burnt-out Trump supporter? Sounds like a real laugh riot. I’ll mark my calendar.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Cut scene to the supermarket

      Roseanne is in line to pay for her groceries

      Roseanne “God can you believe these fucking libtards who want more money for scanning my groceries and putting them into a bag? Its not hard to do, they should have made better choices in their lives and opened their own business like I did.”

      Cashier “Hello, how are you today?”

      Roseanne “Why are you talking to me? Do you know who I am? You should be lucky I don’t call your manager right now to get you fired. MAGA!!! TRUMP !!!!”

      • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

        Gonna need an extra loud laugh track. Prolly better ax the actual live audience, too.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Or book a vacation to Cousin Fuck, West Virginia to spend time with “the people”. Same difference.

  • msanthropesmr

    Oh Sweet Jesus – Stop for gas.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx4v8ooDLAU

  • I’m just glad that I don’t watch sitcoms.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Me and you both, my brother.

      • Phried Ω

        The only two that I can think of that remotely hold up are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Barney Miller.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Im rather fond of MASH

        • Jimh

          If you go way back, I still watch some old Bob Newhart Show episodes and get a good laugh. They remind me of my childhood. Simpler times.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      I, however, freaking love a good sitcom! Give me a misheard eavesdrop, a wacky neighbor, a mockumentary send up…I’m here for that shiz!

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Did you see Alf season 1 is on Amazon prime?

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          Oh wow…not sure I’ll get to that one, though it’s somewhat interesting that dude was high on heroin when he wrote the thing.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            I am not surprised by that, its a weird show but I used to love it as a kid and even had the Alf doll.

          • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

            Reading all the backstage drama about Alf was an eye-opener. Basically, everyone hated the puppet. Everyone.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’ve watched maybe 3 sitcoms in my life. I’ve never laughed.

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          Not even Arrested Development?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            What’s that? The Simpsons or GTFO.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Ah, ok, you’s just funnin’ me. You can’t watch the simpsons and still say you’ve never larfed. It’s science unpossible.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I worship the Simpsons. Not a sitcom though…a cartoon with no rules.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            I call any thirty minute comedy tv show a sitcom, which is guess is probably not correct.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Sitcoms are stupid shows with live actors and canned laughter.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Archer and Brooklyn Nine-Nine are good. As is Parks and Recreation.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            All my smart friends love Parks and Recreation and Mad Men. I stick to my guns.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            No shame in that.

          • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

            Archer and Parks & Rec are gold.

        • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

          I liked The IT Crowd and Bob’s Burgers. How I Met Your Mother had funny moments. Big Bang Theory made me want to eat glass.

      • theCryptofishist

        The modern descendant of the farce.

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1953, Pat Benatar.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JRgHol94Xc

    • Blackest Noobs

      AND STILL PLAYING!

      was on pollstar, noticed she is playing in April or May

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Opera singer who pivoted to pop music. She’s so cool.

      • Beautiful Soup

        i did not know that! I appreciate her much more now than I did when I was in high school during her heyday.

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          I feel like I learned that from a Fresh Air, but yeah!

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • everstar

      Where’s the exorcist?

    • TJ Barke
      • yyyaz

        That’s gonna leave a mark.

      • bluicebank

        The Dude libelz!

      • BadKitty904

        I think his heater needs adjusting.

      • data_ninja

        It’s a hot rod?

        • theCryptofishist

          As in Sexxxxxxy times?

          • data_ninja

            Sure, why not?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Nice!

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      He’s leaving? Maybe Trump is draining the swamp after all…

      • redarmyzombie

        More like the rats are fleeing.

        • The KGB Ate Our Votes

          No kidding. Makes me wonder just how horrific is this disaster that’s heading straight for us???

        • aktlib101

          More like the brown swamp rats are being replaced by the gray swamp fatter rats

        • everstar

          I like that I can’t tell at this point that Senators are resigning because they’re worried sexual harassment allegations are going to be revealed, or because they’re afraid of the Mueller iceberg headed their way.

  • bbayliss
    • TJ Barke

      When a reporter pressed him on the accuracy of these statements last month, he summoned the spirit of his appointer, Donald Trump, claiming: “I didn’t say that, it’s an incorrect statement. We’d call that fake news.”

      Then that reporter showed him the exact clip in which he made the initial remarks about chaos and burning, and asked to confirm: “You call that fake news?” Hoekstra doubled down. “I didn’t call that fake news. I didn’t use those words today.”

      Fuck these people.

      • bbayliss

        This is about what he faced today, they’re not gonna stand for his bullshit.

    • HazooToo

      How the fuck do we import Dutch balls for our reporters?

      • everstar

        I dunno, even if we successfully imported them, I’m not sure we could implant them in a lot of our reporters. They have insufficient courage levels; the transplant wouldn’t take.

      • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

        I think we have to start providing decent working and living conditions for Americans as a whole. No one’s going to be brave when we’re this beaten down, we’re all just trying to make it to tomorrow without losing everything.

        • HazooToo

          I don’t know how the fuck we’re going to get to decent working and living conditions if the people who’s JOB it is to reveal the truth and get answers are too cowardly to do it.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    White House press corps: Take a lesson from the Dutch press, who took professional liar Pete Hoekstra to task on his very first day as ambassador, roasted him on spit, made him squirm like a sneaky toddler, then pissed on the corpse.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Ok all, it’s been fun as usual, hanging with you smart, snarky reprobates. I’m off to Snoozeville. Be well!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2305470685e86031626bb1893f377c7e49c91857e4aa46292c5470151950e489.gif

    • HazooToo

      HE’S FEET STREECH!

  • aktlib101
  • WannabeTraveler

    Way off any topic,,,,,,,,,,The run club that I belong to holds an annual 5km running clinic, called From Coach Potato to 5km in 10 weeks. It starts on Saturday, I’m in charge of the Motivation Board,,,I just started. Ikes. Does anyone have any suggestions for motivational aids for folks learning to run? Any help would be much appreciated. Tks

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      DON’T BE THIS GUY – GET OFF THE COUCH AND GET MOVING!
      http://i.imgur.com/iqWXhCa.png

      • Johnatx

        What is he doing?

        • The KGB Ate Our Votes

          Grazing, I think. Or looking for his contact lens.

          • redarmyzombie

            That or he’s fallen and can’t get up.

          • WannabeTraveler

            Someone should have left him on the ground.

          • everstar

            He’d never eat that much salad. He must think there’s a cheeseburger down there.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            He dropped a penny. Must. Find. Money.

        • therblig

          waiting for something to be putin

        • The KGB Ate Our Votes

          I don’t know, but imagine the view Melania gets of that…

          • everstar

            God damn it, I was just about to eat dinner.

          • WannabeTraveler

            That is her choice, I have no sympathy for her.

    • everstar

      I have never successfully established an exercise routine, but nevertheless, I would like to recommend the app Zombies, Run! as a fun game to play while you run/walk/stroll. You’re a supply runner for a small community of zombie apocalypse survivors; there’re like five seasons of it and there’s plotlines and everything!

      • WannabeTraveler

        Thanks I found info on the app, will print out and put on board, should add some fun for folks.

        • everstar

          Good luck!

    • Bobathonic

      Leopards. Lions. Pretty much any of the large cats.

      • WannabeTraveler

        We have more bears, but cougars are eating the neighbours pets right now. lol

        • theCryptofishist

          What does that sound like?

          • Bobathonic

            Sounds like what the kids are calling it these days.

    • grindstone

      I did that program! You’re awesome to be part of it! I joined the hash house harriers afterwards and found the promise of beer and bawdy lyrics to be the best motivation.

      • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

        Second the beer thing. I used to love finishing a 5K, having a beer or two (often local craft beer), then going home a having a nap – all before 10:30 AM.

        • everstar

          But I could have a beer (if I drank) and a nap before 10:30 AM without running a 5k just as easily!

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            Sounds nicer, somehow, but I just couldn’t drink alcohol @ 10:30 AM.

          • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

            Without the 5K, I wouldn’t be up before 10:30 anyway.

      • WannabeTraveler

        A run series you maybe interested in is the The Canada Beer Run

        https://canadabeerrun.ca/

    • La forza del resistino

      methedrine at the 3k mark

    • Johnatx

      I second the Zombies Run suggestion.

    • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

      I did a Couch to 5K, and then kept going to 10K and started training for my first half-marathon, all as an adult. What helped me the most was running like a penguin- I’m slow and I look stupid, and I need to embrace that and laugh at myself so I can enjoy doing it anyway.

      • WannabeTraveler

        I belong to the same school of thought, one must have a sense of humour about oneself, especially when you are as clutsy as I am. lol

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        Because I have MS, both sides of my body don’t often play well together, and when I run, I run like Phoebe from Friends. I’ve so wanted to to those couch to 5K things, but I look like an arse.

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          PS. As for your original question, some of your motivational material could involve dark humor…”Someday you may HAVE to run for your life,” or silliness “Free oxytocin, the love drug! Get up off the couch and get you some!” I’m not a comedian, but something along those lines. Humor can be a great motivator.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      water bottles with “Vote Pedro Lorax” on them.

      • WannabeTraveler

        If you provide them I will hand them out. Long live Lorax.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          all you need is some patterned duct tape and a sharpie. extra points for actually writing “Pedro” and crossing it out.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan
      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Seriously, get in touch with the artist through shirt.woot.com and see how much to license it for your clinic.

  • Gosala

    So I’m back from the town hall with David Holden, democratic candidate for the Florida 19th.

    It was long and covered many topics, mostly in a question answer format. I won’t try to summarize it all. Some major takeaways

    On process and politics:
    1. 2018 is the best opportunity yet to flip the district blue if we can get a swing even half of what happened in Virginia.
    2. Women are the key constituency. From the pussy hat march (He did not say pussy hat march) to #metoo, women have been out front on every issue.
    3. While help from the DNC would be nice, he doesn’t expect any (“They give lip service to a 50 state strategy”)
    4. Democrats need to stop apologizing, especially for things they really believe in.

    On the big picture:
    1. The fundamental problem right now is that all the important decisions are being made by the 1% for the 1%. This underlies everything the republicans have done, are doing and want to do.
    2. Grass roots politics that offers real hope of restoring basic fairness, opportunity and economic security can defeat the plutocracy (he did not say plutocracy)
    3. But to do so, we have to resist the propaganda ploys and wedge issues republicans have been using for 50 years to divide us against each other and to convince us that government is the problem: “we are the government; government is how we turn our values into policy. ”

    On the issues (a selection based entirely on my interests):
    1. Private prisons are immoral.
    2. Public education needs to be fully funded.
    3. Toxic waste dumps affect poor communities and that has to stop.
    4. A woman has the right to make her own health care decisions — full stop. Planned parenthood needs to be fully funded.
    5. Health care, including mental health care, is a right. We need to strengthen the ACA and then move toward genuinely universal health care.
    6. Capitalism is great, but we are not 350 million individuals. We are also a community.

    Overall: 8.5/10. Will support with moderate enthusiasm.

    If any Wonkers want to donate (please donate), go here https://www.holden2018.com/donate-democrat-congress/

    Also if any Wonkers live in the Florida 19th, he still needs signatures to get on the primary ballot (of course volunteers are always welcome)

    • BadKitty904

      Big Picture/3: Oprah Winfrey vs. Roseanne Barr?

      • Gosala

        A wooftie crystal eater versus a trumptastic reactionary?

        I’ll take OHJB for eleventy billion, Alex.

        • BadKitty904

          Positive amateur vs. negative amateur. They’re both still unfit for public office.

    • grindstone

      State senate district 24, house district 66. Too bad, he sounds solid.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I also have a lot of respect for a candidate who’s honest about what they will and won’t support.

  • La forza del resistino

    Liz Warren asked on Oprah 2020 bid: ‘have to ask her, I don’t think anyone tells Oprah what to do.’

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes
    • WannabeTraveler

      Manafort being sued by a Russian,,, love it. lol
      Rachel just covered it.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      “seems to think his money, nevertheless, went walkies…”
      LOLOLOLOLOLOL

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
    • BadKitty904

      Someone doubts this?

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        They would be wrong. So very wrong.

        • BadKitty904

          And possibly dangerous.

          • The KGB Ate Our Votes

            Trump has never owned a pet. I rest my case.

          • BadKitty904

            I think Jr. may qualify.

          • The KGB Ate Our Votes

            Junior is the uppity cat whose litter box doesn’t stink and Eric is the big, dopey dog that eats the chocolates out of the litter box. :)

          • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

            Those motherfuckers are NOT cats! They are rats at best.

          • BadKitty904

            I’d peg Iwanka as the cat and Jr. as one of those shrill, yappy little annoying dogs. But yah, otherwise…

          • Stable Genius Demme

            I agree about the uppity and dopey parts, but man!
            Dog and cat libelz!
            (You had to know that someone would say it!)

          • WannabeTraveler

            You can not trust anyone who has never owned a pet. That is one of my life rules.

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            Mine is broader….there is something really wrong with people who don’t like animals. They are not trustworthy and there’s a hole in their soul.

          • Stable Genius Demme

            Dealbreaker.
            Character flaw.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Not one that lived.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Reading books recommended by Jim Wright about wizards cats (author is Diane Duane). Not bad so far- all cats can bend time and space.

        • BadKitty904

          Any cat-owner who’s ever opened a can of tuna in a completely empty house could tell you that. Like Romulan birds-of-prey, they decloak and appear out of kitty-space…

      • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

        Some folks just don’t understand…btw, I’m already looking forward to tonight’s kitty gif!

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Original quote was from Trump. He used the P word, though.

    • Gosala

      Cannot see *sad face*

  • BadKitty904

    OK, guys, I refuse to be reduced to even being remotely interested in Roseanne Barr.

    • Left Coast Tom
      • BadKitty904

        Many rocks! Rocks are fascinating.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Love Sedona, even the kitchy parts of it. Fun to stroll the streets and enjoy the galleries….and great hiking.
        And just down the road in Jerome (ol’ ghost town on the hills above Cottonwood) is the ‘Haunted Burger’ with the best burgers in AZ. And great views of the surrounding area. Beautiful sunsets.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Where are the parts of it that aren’t kitschy?

          • Bill D. Burger

            Tuzigoot National Monument .
            Sedona Heritage Museum
            Slide Rock State Park
            Red Rock State Park
            Palatki Ruin.
            Oak Creek Canyon. ..
            Bell Rock. …and on and on. Extraordinary topography and surroundings in the whole Sedona area.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Oh yeah…I know those places, but those are all natural wonders. I’m a cranky old fuck…my memories of Sedona are of a one-horse town before the hippie New Agers and hedge fund managers took over. Last time i was there was about three years ago; a Sunday in high summer, and it was like Times Square at rush hour. I was looking for a woodworker guy who had some interesting slabs for sale and was just at sea with all the souvenir t-shirt and ice cream shops. I came across this literal fenced in compound on a side street…chain link, manufactured buildings. I realized it was the compound where all the indentured Mexican workers were housed. Being Sunday, a lot of them had the day off….they were playing soccer,, ranchero music blaring, grills with carne asada going, beers in coolers. I’m thinking, now THAT’s where I want to hang out.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        A Sedona story: A friend from my years in Flagstaff was hiking near Sedona years ago when he came across a grizzled old rancher from the area…the last of his kind in the New Age onslaught. The old-timer went on at some length about his love for the redrock country and its beauty, then continued, “but the people?” Paused, spat tobacco on the ground, “they…ain’t…worth…a…SHIT.”.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      I didn’t know it was a requirement. I’m just here for the snacks.

    • Stinky_Hole

      Yeah. Her stand-up could be funny, mostly because she was so abrasive. Remember though, her teevee character was speaking lines that smarter people than her wrote for her to say. The real her married Tom Arnold.

      • BadKitty904

        ‘Nuff said.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Here’s the thing. Tom Arnold is…not that bad? Like, in True Lies or Undercover Blues. I wouldn’t want him to carry a project, but as the crude-but-cheerful secondary character he’s okay. Bordering on good.

    • Phried Ω

      Amen, Kitty. I didn’t care 27 years ago. Why should I care now?

    • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

      Yeah, I pretty much hated that show. When you see the joke coming about 3 minutes ahead of time, that shit ain’t funny.
      Her first few appearances on Carson killed, though.

      • BadKitty904

        I like John Goodman, though.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Here. Have a Swiss drumline thingie. I think I’m becoming a groupie. And i want one of their hats.

      https://youtu.be/HW3QVLlK-kE

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        I love drumlines. Such perfection required. But I also love Keith Moon and Dave Grohl. The drums were the first instrument I learned to play. Any chance I had for a normal life was ruined in 4th grade.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I still play the recorder. FWIW, there’s no street cred in that.

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            Any instrument is cool. My favorite Stones song has recorders(played by Brian Jones) in it.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWFxBqiZya0

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            P.S. The recorder is also on “Stairway to Heaven.”

      • Moldy Weißwurst

        This one’s a lot more informal – mostly done to entertain the crowds pre-game in the stadium parking lot:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4N1cTUCvbg

      • BadKitty904

        You can have that hat or you can have cats. You can’t have both.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I think one of those hats would fascinate my dog.

        • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

          Because the cats would steal it for their Puss in Boots cosplay.

          • BadKitty904

            And because they’d consider that plume a challenge to their catliness.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      OK, I tried to upfist this, but disqust made the screen go blank. My upfisting rights are being infring-ed.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    i really love looking forward to a little video gaming, only to find the system is fucked, so I have to spend 2 hours reading about technical fixes and STILL hoping it’s not become an expensive paperweight.

    : (

    • h4rr4r

      This is why consoles are a thing.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        it IS my console.

        But now I feel like a whiner, cause last fix worked.

        (But my internet is still misbehaving!)

        • h4rr4r

          Which one and what problem?

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          I have Verizon. Sometimes it seems to wander off for a cup of coffee for no discernible reason

      • everstar

        Every computer I have that can run video games has died in some way, and the disc drive in my treasured PS2 isn’t able to spin properly any more. My life is a void.

        • h4rr4r

          Those are super easy to fix.

          Either you adjust the focus or replace the drive. Do not toss it out!

          • everstar

            I haven’t been able to find a replacement drive, but I suppose I ought to try fiddling with the focus. I mean, what am I going to do, break it?

          • h4rr4r

            This, you can’t make it worse than broken.

            The focus will fix it.

          • h4rr4r

            The laser unit is also widely available.

    • HazooToo

      Did you try turning it off and on again? Is it plugged in to the outlet AND the back of the console? Did you take it in the bathtub with you?

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      Cary Cary threw up on my computer.

    • Ryan Denniston

      My Windows decides to shut off all networking any time there is an update. Is that at all familiar?

    • cheetojeebus

      Have you ever thought that THAT might be the possible game? So developer releases game with built in flaw that with thorough sleuthing the system and code etc and clever interpretation of the less than useful cryptic manual one get’s it to work- sort of the video game equivalent of a plastic model kit.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        We called that “Windows 98″….

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    who the balls though 5 minutes per candidate when there are about 50 of them between these races was a good idea? this event I’m at started at 6:30 and my candidate is not on until 10.

    • Left Coast Tom

      these races”? We’re talking about folks who aren’t running for the same office? Are they at least serving beer there?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        there are many races in Texas. and we are at a synagogue. no booze.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I understand Texas has over 250 counties…hosting all of them in the same location seems like a mistake?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            we have 254. this is just a Travis Co. event, but there are a lot of races with an average of 5 candidates per race.

        • The KGB Ate Our Votes

          Dang, at least the Catholic church has that awful sacramental wine and little wafers to nibble on.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Oh, lord. How many people are gonna stay there for 3 1/2 hours on a weeknight?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        IDK. my candidate is at another event right now. but I had to come early to pass out lit.

  • Shan

    So apparently the woman who created the “Shitty Media Men” spreadsheet outed her OWN self as a “fuck you” to the Harper’s piece.

    https://thinkprogress.org/bad-media-men-creator-doxxes-herself-256d9a2c4b71/

    • HazooToo

      Omg I followed her months ago, she’s fantastic and gives no fucks

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Too bad she had to do that, but good for her for not waiting for that Roiphe trick to do it for her. Hope she’s able to keep safe.

      • Shan

        Roiphe insists she never would have published her name without permission, though. I’m skeptical.

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          Skeptical of Roiphe’s claim or skeptical of the logic behind Alexander outing herself?

          • Shan

            Roiphe’s claim. Sorry, I wasn’t clear.

          • puredog

            Skeptical of Roiphe, full stop.

        • everstar

          Pity you can’t prove a negative.

      • Stinky_Hole

        I admire her. Sounds like she stood up and said “Bring it”.

    • Kakariki

      Oh wow. She is the director of Punisher: War Zone, which you can hear her talk about her experience making, on an episode of How Did This Get Made?

  • Thiazin Red

    I need to get better at leaving notes for me. I’m writing this massive paper so when I find something relevant that I need for later I’ll make a note of it. Some of them are kind of cryptic and less than helpful. Get your shit together past self.

    • Phried Ω

      I hate it when I run across a note to me that is a phone number I don’t recognize and nothing else.

      • Thiazin Red

        At least thats actionable, you could call it and see what happens. What the hell did I mean by some of these?

        • Phried Ω

          There are way more people that I don’t want to talk to than there are that I do want to talk to.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Or a business card that doesn’t say what the person does.

        • Thiazin Red

          I’ve seen too many movies to trust a business card like that.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      When I was in law school, I had floor to ceiling whiteboards in every room, and lining the hallway. I left notes for myself like, “cf. behind bathroom door, 1/3 way down.” Maddening.

      • puredog

        Are you Carrie Matheson?

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Imagine Trump’s chagrin to be standing at the microphone looking down at his note:

      https://thewondrous.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/I-Fart-All-The-The-Time.jpg

      • Kateaux

        Objection! Implies that Trump is capable of writing a document with such a degree of complexity.

    • Sheepshagger

      “Do those things. Also pick up the stuff from R. Don’t forget the thing”.

      • puredog

        “Never forget the thing, for Crom’s sake.”

    • Ling Ling

      I use evernote. Takes some practice, but it syncs across my laptop, phone and tablet. Before evernote, I used lab notebooks and although durable it was hit or miss that I could find anything.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Best paper writing strategy? Cram out a draft and revise. You’ll say constantly what the fuck was I thinking? Revising is 10% of original writing.

      • Thiazin Red

        Thats my usual strategy, but I was trying to be more organized and add citations while I write.
        I usually end up driving myself insane trying to find a reference that I know exists but can’t recall the exact right search terms to get PubMed to give it to me when I write in my normal style.

      • puredog

        I’d say that editing is 90% of original writing, after you cram out a draft. Maybe we’re saying the same thing?

    • Back in the dark ages, I was a programmer, and I’d put in all sorts of comments in the first big program I wrote. 2 years later, I had to do a complete overhaul of the program, and most of my comments from back then left me going “WTF does that mean?”

      • puredog

        That you were tweaking in the middle of the night on deadline when you wrote them? (I dunno, works for me.)

        • No, mostly just very short things like “sees if number valid,” or “do a standard deviation.” That’s if I bothered to put in a comment at all. Two years after it was “locked down,” I had to reopen it, and going through it meant trying to figure out what I meant by the comment, or wonder why I hadn’t bothered in the first place.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Joe Arpaio kicks off his senate campaign by promising to prove Obama’s birth certificate is a forgery because crazy.

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/951270448930676736

    • TJ Barke

      How does Bamz suppress the urge to dick punch all these assholes?

      • That man has ice water in his veins.

        • SayItWithWookies

          Shhh — he is for real human, and not some lizard-robot hybrid.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Why? So they can take away his pension?

    • I sense that this whole thing is a grift.

      • Hemp Dogbane

        He amasses a campaign war-chest, fails somewhere along the way, keeps the money. Tries to take it with him but needs both hands when he chokes to death on a burrito.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      More evidence that I need reading glasses – I read that as “senile campaign”.

      • TJ Barke

        You’re not wrong, though.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Calling arpaio a senile halfwit is giving him far too much credit.

        • Kateaux

          Calling him a senile halfwit is senile halfwit libelz.

          One of my brothers (the one I’d sometimes like to disown completely) thinks Arpaio is a great guy.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      That does it. I think I’ve been beaten. I literally cannot take this crap anymore.

      • puredog

        I hear you bro. I say this about once a day, sob, and then drag myself back into the fray. Courage!

    • HazooToo
    • Bill D. Burger

      Ol’ Joe, a true Republican icon: A fucking racist criminal who fucks over the bill of rights and is applauded for it by those good Gawd’ fearin’ GOP hypocrites.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a644cf3c2bfdb28e856c93133ca7db715abaa4e7f81facd7bd5c42a161a80f78.jpg

    • Old town Urbandale

      Better he spends his time and energy on pointless grandstanding about Obama’s birth certificate than all the horseshit he pulled as sheriff.

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    Possibly the greatest thing ever. She plays all the instruments, including an harmonica she extracts from her bra with a flourish.

    https://youtu.be/xywNeumntoE

    • Moldy Weißwurst

      Gunhild is awesome. Too bad she only joins PMJ on the European leg of their tours.

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        Three trumpets. Bagpipes. Suited attendants. Such win.

  • Picabo
    • Epic trolling!

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Politkovskayastrasse?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Can congress over rule that? I know they can overrule anything else the DC city council tries to do.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • tehbaddr

      Looks like Vlad is getting set to make a frittata?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • TJ Barke

      Snicker at “Sorry your algo was clownware”.

  • Jennifer R
    • HazooToo

      What the fuck?

      • Jennifer R

        He wants a court order demanding google force employees debate him ad hoc.

        • HazooToo

          Why does he think that’s even remotely constitutionally acceptable?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      What the… is that the google tech dude bro?

      • Jennifer R

        Yes James DaMore, the guy who lied about his educational history on his employment application.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Why am I not surprised he lied about his qualifications. Also why is Fox the first result for him on google? I really hope he loses his lawsuit and the judge smacks him down. Google should try and get the judge from their android lawsuit who learned java for the case to smack him down.

          • Jennifer R

            Normally I would figure google would give a no fault settlement offer. But he has gone out of his way to harm not other the employees of google, but the culture of google, so I could see the company deciding that winning the suit at a greater cost than a settlement would be worth it via the employee morale boost.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            He also keeps being an asshole and going on Fox and other right wing shows to complain how persecuted white male conservatives are. Which makes it a little harder to offer a quiet “go away settlement”. But his tech career is over from this, I really don’t see anyone hiring him after all he has done.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Still kind of rainy and dreary here in typically Sunny SoCal, so we’re chilling to Siouxsie. Although my nephew’s beautiful longtime love gave birth to a beautiful baby girl (and future surfer) last night which makes me a great uncle. So, cigars all around :)

    https://youtu.be/7nnkqGZw_9M

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Congrats!

      • Juan de Fuca

        Thank you!

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Congratulations!
      I saw I, Tonya 2 nights ago. The movie ends with Iggy’s song The Passenger, an all-time favorite, but I wasn’t sure who was performing it. Turned out it was Siouxsie and the Banshees.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I had not even heard of that movie but I did just Google it. Whatcha think?

        • Hemp Dogbane

          It’s very good! Difficult to watch the cruelty and abuse suffered by Tonya from her mother.

  • tehbaddr

    Time is a train
    Makes the future the past
    Leaves you standing in the station
    Your face pressed up against the glass

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/582ddb5d9f4a51a272b10080114e648e51663c64d5996ddc6ec6aef06df712a1.jpg

  • Gosala

    Loooong post below about David Holden and his town hall.

    Loooong story short, here’s the money line:

    “We’ve been told for 40 years that government is the problem. Government is not the problem.

    “We are the government. Government is how we turn values into policy. ”

    To contribute go to https://www.holden2018.com/donate-democrat-congress/

    • pstokk

      That’s a great line.

    • suziq

      Yeah thanks Reagan. Some how he convinced everyone forever that government is bad, government shouldn’t have any money/taxes etc. And while I believe in fiscal responsibility can’t we, as the richest country in the world, take care of our poor and sick? And maybe educate people so they can take care of themselves? It just shouldn’t be that hard!

      • Gosala

        Reagan convinced people that government was some alien creature sucking the precious bodily fluids out of America. That’s why I like the “We are the government” line. It’s not quite true, but it ought to be.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      That’s a great line. I like it.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So Gillibrand is vowing to blue-slip Trump’s nominee for attorney for the Southern District. So tell me how awful she is?

    • Thiazin Red

      I heard she once talked to a Wall Street! She looks kind of like Hillary! She like wants to be elected, what a bitch! Neoliberal! Centrist! She was mean to Franken and Bernie!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      She’s awful ’cause Kirsten only brought ONE blue slip?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      She isnt perfect and she is a she so that makes her bad or something, also shrill. (/s if I need it)

      • Phried Ω

        clothes, hair, hysterical.

    • puredog

      I thought Mitch had 86ed blue slips.

      • Me not sure

        Grassley has suddenly discovered the drawbacks to pissing off one of his female colleagues .

        • Phried Ω

          Grassley, a real Rock of Gibraltar. There’s no chance he will change his… Never mind.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        That was my understanding as well

      • Hemp Dogbane

        He 86ed Franken’s, not sure he meant it as a blanket policy.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    JD Vance, the Patron Saint of the Cletus Safari, is being recruited to run against Sherrod Brown. The article doesn’t mention if the entire NYT editorial board experienced simultaneous orgasms or not.

    Politico Warning. https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/08/ohio-senate-vance-brown-328565

    • data_ninja

      He worked at a venture capital firm owned by Peter Thiel, is a CNN contributor, and his wife is a law clerk for Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. The guy has connections, but doesn’t live in Ohio (although he is from it).

      Not crazy enough for today’s GOP, but give him time.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I actually read his book. It has a few truths.
      Not everyone can go to Yale, no matter how damn hard you work. Nor should everyone go to Yale. What do we do about the working poor who aren’t making enough to pay for housing, medical care, and their kids education. Hard work and ambition doesn’t solve every problem.

    • NorthernSaber

      Hmmm- I think “The Cletus Safari” would be a GREAT name for an Appalachian Jam band!

  • Johnatx

    Damn, my cat is not doing well. Gotta take her to the vet. She’s an old friend

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      Best wishes to both of you. Cats are the best.

      • Johnatx

        Yes they are. She’s a stray I found as a kitten 13 years ago at work over in Houston.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Sorry, hope you both are ok.

      • Johnatx

        I’m ok. She isn’t eating. That can be a big problem with cats.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          I know for dogs oregano on things helps to get them to eat but its been a few years since I had a cat. Is there something similar for them? I hope the vet can help her.

          • jowgajen

            Cat nip?

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            The last cat I had was allergic to it and would throw up if it got on any of her food or toys so I don’t know about that.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            So, like scotch?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      So sorry- is she not eating? That’s usually what they do.

      • Johnatx

        Yeah. She’s always been fussy. Vet put her on a diet for IBS about a year ago. Last few days she won’t touch it

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          I hope it’s easily fixable. We get attached to the critters. Sometimes cats with ibd can be helped by prednisone, and it’s an inexpensive drug.

        • h4rr4r

          Steroids, other food, lots of options.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Hugs to you and your kitters. Kitters are better than people most of the time. We’re lucky they put up with us.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Best wishes to you and your kitteh!

    • BadKitty904
      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Please tell me that their names are Yin and Yang.

        • BadKitty904

          It would certainly be apt.

        • peteywheats

          Trump and Putin

    • Stable Genius Demme

      Hope the vet says all is well!

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

    Just had supper – a smoked turkey, Swiss cheese and avocado grilled cheese sandwich, on marble rye – and now it is time to get down to some serious drinking!

    • JaveyDay
    • Smoke O’Hontas

      That sounds like an awesome sammich! I’m having salami and tomatoe with mayo on rye from a crazy kosher style deli that’s going out of business… Pour out some Manischewitz for for Ella’s Deli, all you UW ulumn, they’re closing on the 21st

      • Anna Rompage

        It’s sad to see all the jewish delis closing down…

        Back when I was a kid, they were all over the place, and served up some awesome grub. It’s a bummer to see them replaced by Subways, Jimmy Schlongs, and the rest of all the franchise crap…

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          I can’t get a decent chicken salad, let alone chopped liver, anymore.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          A kosher style place opened fairly recently up the street from my house in Chicago. It’s a little pricey but they smoke their own meats and fish on premise and the bagels are pretty rad. Haven’t tried the soup yet for some reason even though the weather is perfect for it.

        • 3FingerPete

          The closest thing we have to a real deli in my part of my town is a Jason’s Deli franchise. They are OK, parsecs better than Subway, but still not an authentic deli. Two weeks ago I walked in and ordered a pastrami and swiss on rye with mustard. The sandwich of kings that i had ordered at other Jason’s Deli stores countless number of times. The shift manager says “well, we’ve got Reubens, which is pastrami on rye with swiss but it has sauerkraut and thousand island dressing. We can just hold the kraut and substitute mustard.”

          !!!??!!!

          I say “No! That is not what I’m ordering. It’s simple. Just put pastrami and swiss on rye bread with mustard. It’s not a modified Reuben.”

          He says “But that’s a Reuben contains. We’ll just hold the other stuff.”

          We went back and forth for about five minutes. I finally pointed to the Jason’s menu, which lists any deli meat sandwich for about $3 less than the cost of a Reuben.

          “See?” I say. “Pastrami is a deli meat. I want a deli meat sandwich.”

          “Oh, sure.” he says. “We can do it that way, I guess.”

        • puredog

          When I was a kid in DC there was a deli at about NW 15th and G — Loeb’s — across from the Treasury building, that served a Nasser Sandwich: 1/2 tongue and 1/2 chicken.

      • Werewolf

        Oy-deli on rye with tomato and *mayo*?! :-(

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          That’s why it’s “kosher style.” It’s a crazy, trippy place with paper mache robots, fantastic matzo ball soup and a 1928 carousel.It’s a local landmark for the last 40+ years. Sad to see it close.