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Hell.No. Hats
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  • Nounverb911
    • GoutMachine

      I’m staying. I’m finishing my coffee.

  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω
    • GoutMachine

      FIFY, Time.

  • memzilla Ω
  • memzilla Ω
    • FlemmishSpy

      I want this poster.

      • I would wear it as a shirt. To the few places i can wear a shirt that says “Fuck”

        • ahughes798

          I have a shirt with a really bad word on it(cunt). I only wear it around the house, though.

          What do we want?
          A cure for Tourette’s!
          When do we want it?
          Cunt!

        • Mariewgamache

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dh242c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !dh242c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs542ShopReviewsGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dh242c:….,…….

    • calliecallie

      Saved it for future – probably frequent – use.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Kellogg is stuck with the job nobody wants.

    • Nounverb911

      Working with the ‘Frosted” flakes?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        And unfrosted flakes also too.

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      His only qualification for this administration is that he’s a cereal liar.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The Massacre at Battle Creek. #neverremember!

        • therblig

          all but one man died
          there at battle creek
          and they stole his lucky charms…

          Breakfast!
          first meal of every day
          what do you do when your breakfast
          gets taken away

          • Msgr_MΩment

            You’re branded on notice. Period.

      • Sandy Beaches

        I see what you did there.

      • arglebargle

        He’s Grrrrrreeeeaaaat!

      • ahughes798

        It could be worse…he could be a cereal killer.

  • Nounverb911
    • Vincent Ricola

      “I want to find a friendly waiter. Are you a friendly waiter? THREEOSIX!!!1!”

  • GoutMachine

    It’s so delightful to see the Party of Personal Responsibility and Monopolies on Moral Truth and Goodness in a death spiral. If only there were a word stronger than “schadenfreude.” Maybe uber-schadenfreude?

    ‘Tis a pity, though, that so many people are getting fucked because of these asshats.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Goetterdaemmerung?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Ganzstarkschadenhochstimmezustandung?

        • GoutMachine

          Might need to add Scheißesandwich in there or something.

      • laughingnome

        That’s what I said when I fell off the ladder.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      According to Donnie, that would be VERY schadenfreude.

      Followed, of course, by Double Secret schadenfruede.

  • Nounverb911
  • Chadwells

    Anyone notice that everyone has already forgotten about the intel bag with key in it around unsecure people and the Abe/Mar a Lago football fiasco?! Seems like some serious shit that shouldn’t be forgotten about. Like…ya know…the “lock her up” bullshit!

    This is how Dampnut works. Like a fucking shell game.

    • mackafritz

      It’s hard to keep up with his shenanigans.

    • DrBigHead

      Its easy to do when most of the media is so easi…. LOOK! SQUIRREL1!!

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      It’s as if, contrary to all known laws of physics, pure entropy was concentrated into the persona of a single human form. Oh, wait. Don’t we call that a black hole? Light bends around him, right?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Except, this game is self-defeating. Yes, he distracts from something that happened recently, but, in doing so, he just confirms the overall concerns people have about his fitness for office. After the presser, there are a lot of people voicing open concerns about his mental stability.

    • Persistent Demme

      Yep.
      The presser was mostly about distraction, while little Donnie got to exercise his massive ego, and throw red meat to his idiot supporters before a rally.
      A win/win in his eyes.

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Trump : poo poo sandwiches and pee pee tapes.

  • Crystalclear12

    Normally I would be sympathetic about gin soaked livers but. . . fuck her.

    • Beowoof14

      Nope, wouldn’t do it.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Today we are all drinking from juice boxes filled with horse genitals.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Mmmm Stud Milk… Just like what the Neo-Alt-Right drinks to prove their manliness.

    • Beowoof14

      Hmmm, was that shipment headed for the White House because Donnie heard it would work to make him hung like a horse, rather than a gerbil.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mine has extra electrolytes!

      • Martini Ambassador

        It’s what plants crave!

    • therblig

      that’s no straw!

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        And that’s not juice!

    • arglebargle

      My kingdom for a juice box.

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie designed it and built it all by himself. (And sniffed too much glue doing it)
    https://twitter.com/PressSec/status/832592784754348033

  • Oblios_Cap

    Donald Trump is still telling Chris Christie what to eat when they go out to fancy dinners. SPOILER ALERT: They ordered the meatloaf.

    Not surprising. They’re both built like Meatloaf.

    • mackafritz

      Crispy would do anything for love.

      • ahughes798

        And he WILL do that.

  • Martini Ambassador

    I waded into some of the comments sections, where those buggers are allowed, to read Twitler defenders’ take on yesterday’s shit show of a presser. Did you know that Trumpy did great, and at the same time he also did really poorly because the whole cabal of liberal media companies are totally biased against asking fair questions?

    • Crystalclear12

      I am sorry, could you repeat that? The cognitive dissonance was too loud.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Going into a Trump-supporter comment thread right now sounds like infiltrating a herd of zombies on The Walking Dead.

      • Martini Ambassador

        I typically smear myself with the rotting flesh of the fallen before I wander in.

        • jodyleek

          I’ve often thought of creating a fake persona to comment on such boards and saying the most ridiculous things in support of their Lord God King Boofoo to see how low his drooling mobs will go and then I remember Mother Night, Howard Campbell and Vonnegut’s “Be careful who you pretend to be…” and I just can’t do it.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            It sounds amusing. You should! But if you do, take screenshots and report back.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I had a friend who did something like that on Youtube years back with some conspiracy lunatic trolls. They accepted him without batting an eye. Seems there is no crazy too crazy for these peeps….

      • cmd resistor

        It’s bad enough when they kind of seep into a rational comment thread.

    • mackafritz

      That’s why Lord Dampnut is so great. He can be two mutually exclusive things at the same time.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      So I heard. The cult is full of idiots.

    • Sandy Beaches

      And afterward you took a silkwood shower, right?

    • Suttree

      I went to Blighfart and SMOTI’s place. They must have all been bred from the same gene pool. Not a single word was spoken that wasn’t adoring. WTF presser did they watch? Is there a separate channel somewhere that has Paris Hilton copulating with Kissinger?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “I actually thought I had a meeting with Congressman Cummings and he was all excited, and then he said, ‘Oh, I can’t move, it might be bad for me politically. I can’t have that meeting,’” Trump said. “I was all set to have that meeting. You know, we called him and called him. And he was all set. I spoke to him on the phone, very nice guy.”

    “He probably was told by Schumer or somebody like that, some other lightweight, he was probably told, ‘Don’t meet with Trump. It’s bad politics.’ And that’s part of the problem in this country,” Trump added.

    Schumer? As with the Supreme Court, trump knows nothing about Congress.

    • Well, you know, wimminz are all shrill and emotional, so they could never lead a congressional delegation

    • RobKanC

      that’s the kind of change envisioned by our dear leader.

    • Amy!

      Cummings already denied it, mind. He was nice; the chyron (it was an interview with Anderson Cooper) was in CNN’s new brutally-frank style.

      • cmd resistor

        Did I read that Jared K went to CNN in person to complain about them being mean to Donald?

  • Nounverb911
    • OH PleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE let Donnie say he’s going to offer the job to Marshall Kim Jong-Un

      • PubOption

        Reporters will steer clear of airports.

  • freakishlypersistent

    “We intend to introduce legislation to repeal and replace Obamacare. It has become increasingly clear that this law is collapsing. People’s premiums are getting higher and higher. Their deductibles are soaring, and their choices are dwindling.”

    We, of course, kneecapped it, but look at what Donald Trump tweetered! And while you’re doing that, we’re going to gut Medicaid and Planned Parenthood too!

    • Shanzgood

      Not just PPH but also Title X funding for other family planning clinics.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    That cop was told to “tone down his gayness?” Well, I guess that’s understandable if you’re rockin’ it like Lt. Jim Dangle.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/716bfb68b10d0897200ecffebf0f0a63d26c7c6531753f6e783ff1c9bb83a06c.jpg

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      So he needs to go from ‘flaming’ to just ‘fabulous’?

    • That man is at severe risk of Testicular Torsion

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’ve heard about that.

  • Nounverb911
  • Msgr_MΩment

    A lady’s place in this administration is in the kitchen, making the shitsammiches, amirite?

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • dslindc
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Lizzietish81

      Meatloaf always reminds me of this incident when I was a teenager. I was sitting out in the car because my parents were fighting and decided to go to my sister’s for a week. I had to go back in though, the fucking meatloaf needed to be taken out of the oven.

      As for the man himself, he IS a republican so it is fitting

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHcF1aJhJbc

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Lizzie, were you able to get in and out undetected? That is the key maneuver. In my house, it was the ability to sneak to the kitchen and back to your room undetected too, for food. My grandmother’s house was the demilitarized zone to run away to.

        • Lizzietish81

          Oh no, I came in, loudly announced my intention to go to my sister’s and declared that I would go now, but the meanloaf needed to be taken out of the oven.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I just automatically upfist any RHPS jpeg.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Give it to Rocky. He’ll eat anybody.

  • Lizzietish81

    Skipping the meetings may be the smartest thing Nikki Haley can do

    • Suttree

      A few years ago I was working at a restoration company. We refinished 400 desks for the U.N. All I’m saying is that those desks have little hiding holes, that perfectly fit a pint of liquor.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    After Harward, some concern that all sorts of vacancies are not being filled, or if they are, they are being filled with members of the cult or otherwise unstable people. It is a huge joke on the nitwits in the administration until they hit a major crisis that has not been brought on buy the administration itself. My assumption is it will be a major national security matter. Maybe Chaffetz can tear himself away from his obsession with HRC, and see WTF is going on with this krazy administration?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Nope. Nein. Never.

  • Nounverb911
    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      I want that shirt desperately.

  • Nounverb911
  • UnsaltedSinner

    Great new hire you’ve got there, Washington Post! Fred Hiatt sure knows how to pick ’em.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cb30ad4f592321c2078e3967b541a5acec321c7c641a247042138524b18e67a1.png

    • Martini Ambassador

      LOL, I read that “thinky piece” this morning and almost pulled a neck muscle from eye rolling so hard.

    • Jon Sussex

      Thanks Bezos!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        OK, but at least Bezos put a competent professional in charge of news and exiled Milbanks and Cillizza to Hiatt’s Page ‘o Mournful Graham Revenants.

        • Jon Sussex

          He’s no Rupert Murdoch but I’d say there are plenty of reasons to be skeptical of his influence like, say, the effect of a $600 million contract between Amazon and the CIA on coverage of the CIA in the Washington Post.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      One of the big reasons I stopped watching MSNBC.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh my god fuck Hewiitt with Lucille. The body snatchers took over that guy sometime during his childhood.

    • Michael R
    • TheGrandWazoo2
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Haven’t read the article yet, but this bunch is something new. I remember Reagan was really unpopular when he first took office. The economy was doing poorly, people hated his cabinet picks, and Nancy Reagan was a Marie Antoinette, but meaner.
      Reagan was lucky in that the economy improved, and he had more competent people than Trump ( that’s not saying much). This administration takes bumbling malovent incompetence to a whole new level.
      I remember a quote from a developer who worked with Trump “He turns everything he touches to shit”. We’re seeing that in action.

      • artem1s

        My fear has always been that Twitler would unravel too slowly and benefit from normalization. Hopefully he will continue his record of screwing shit up bigly and at an even more frenzied pace. Hopefully his presser yesterday will lead him to believe he should do more of the same. Hard for me to believe that the IC and military community didn’t collectively shit it’s britches over the casual remark about bombing a nuclear sub of the east coast. come to think of it, the fishing industry probably had a little freak out about that one too.

  • Nounverb911
  • Suttree

    So when do Utah libs start riding around on bicycles and knocking on doors to get rid of Chaffetz?

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      Both of them?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      As soon as Soros ponies up the dough for a few bikes.

      • Suttree

        He can pay them in lap dances and liquor somewhere near the border.

  • Hutch

    It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as
    infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between
    science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and
    the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It
    is an area which we call the Twilight Zone. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/799b0a576419a659fc0ed216f0fe7152a40aa94a1d6041959316eea04f234602.jpg

  • jodyleek

    Chaffetz. God, what a little prick. Can’t we give his name the Santorum treatment? Here, I’ll try: I was wiping my ass and chaffetzed myself. Got shit all over my hand! Ack!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Chaffetz is what happens if you wear the same underwear for 10 straight days, especially in the summer. You get nasty Chaffetz on your inner thighs.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Chaffetz: describes a person who, while in the act of wiping one’s ass and inadvertently pokes a finger through the paper, smells their finger to assess/appreciate the situation.

      • Amy!

        You’re saying he’s (R-alt.tasteless)?

      • cheetojeebus

        Come on guys, you’re being too generous. He deserves much worse than that.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Chaffetz is a skin condition brought on by jerking off with no result whatsoever for 2 years.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Chaffetz: (verb) to eat the contents of a litter box, esp. as done by a dog.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        Chaffetz: (verb) to do everythibng except the right thing.

  • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

    “13 pounds of horse genitals ”

    That’s like, one, right?

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Thanks for finding the funny in that.

  • Reximus
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Beat The Meats @ gmail?

      • PubOption

        That’s what it says. I am trying to think of the contortions Christie would have to go through to be able to do it.

  • schmannity

    Customs and Border Patrol officials at Dulles seized 13 pounds of horse genitals hidden in juice boxes

    Damn. Just got a notice from Amazon Prime that my Junk in a Box shipment has been delayed.

  • Sandy Beaches

    It is my absolute belief that I am going to spend the last minute of my life doing the “Toldja So” dance. Hopefully, right before that, there will be enough time for me to go on FaceBook and post, “Are you still going to insist we give this ass clown a chance?” Because seriously, “there will be a nuclear holocaust like no other?”

    • cheetojeebus

      and if you’re lucky there will be a shadow of you do said dance on a nearby wall for a brief moment.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      What I want time for is to tell the people who are still insisting that the sane people unilaterally disarm lest the radioactive rubble be destabilized to shut the fuck up.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    As someone who has always been interested in this whole concept of deep state and believes it exists to at least some extent I can’t help but wonder if this is what Bannon is after. The institutions weakening each other so they will in the end collapse. Place enough distrust between government and IC makes a country highly vulnerable to both foreing and domestic threats and if something major might happen this would give someone like Bannon the chance to reform things the way he seems fit and isn’t that what he’s been saying a along? That he want to break it down so he can rebuild it?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Dude. Seriously? You seem to be very attached to this whole dystopian hellscape thing, but if there’s no difference in the outcome between letting Bannon have his apocalypse on the expedited plan and making him work for it, let’s do that latter thing, right? Because nobody can stop him but us.

      If it doesn’t work out, I don’t care what the roaches think, and Cher knows better.

      • Sardonicuss

        Its the “Sarandon Doctrine”.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        NAh man, I think I have watched to many who dunnit series when I was younger and that is now my modus operandi in trying to figure the hell out what is going on and sometimes I might get a little bit carried away.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Maybe just a little :)

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            But when the nuclear holocaust starts check your Disqus because there will be a final message from me saying: “Told you so.” ;)

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Ah, nope. I’ll be too busy being bent over, kissing my ass goodbye.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Press conferences: Compare and contrast.
    https://www.facebook.com/NewYorkMag/videos/10154123478669826/

  • MynameisBlarney

    “Christie says turmp made him order the meatloaf”

    How in the actual fuck did he make you order it?
    Got no balls do ya Christie?

    • He’s “running” scared. After putting Kushner’s father in jail, Christie needs to grease some palms so Kushner doesn’t put HIM in jail. Poetic, really.

    • Michael R
    • Mary Sandoras

      A mishap, perhaps in his Lap-Band surgery?

    • Me not sure

      Somehow this might tie in with the juice box story.

  • C4TWOMAN
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Christie seems to be embracing his new role as the king’s fool….the fat chump in a jester hat who is kept around simply to be humiliated for the amusement of the royal courtiers. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving dickhead.

    • Yr. Gma

      Yr. Gma’s theory (again): Donnie is going to resign to spend more time with his family (haha) and Pence is going to name Christie as his VP.

  • Nounverb911
    • tesseraction

      There are so many other, better wineries in Charlottesville, hell, Dave Matthews’ Blenheim is right up the road.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I hope they give him some of those Mexican rapists and murderers.

      • Biff52

        I’m sure they have a steady supply of workers from former Soviet satellite states.

    • arglebargle

      According to the Rawstory story the job pays $11.27 per hour and…

      “According to the petition, the job description notes workers would have
      to work in weather with temperatures as low as 10 degrees while “on their feet in bent positions for long periods of time.”

      http://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/trump-winery-begs-labor-dept-to-hire-more-foreign-workers-over-americans-for-second-time-in-3-months/

    • cmd resistor

      So they can’t keep this crap on the shelves?

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    Trump to Christie, “Chris, my good friend, try the meatloaf, you’ll love it. Seriously, try it, it’s delicious. It’s the finest meatloaf, you won’t believe it. EAT THE GODDAMN MEATLOAF CHRISTIE! What a loser, Sad. I can’t believe this guy.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This begs for a meme from the Rocky Horror Picture show https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c88e176fd170f516a5208ebe447b30a5a3c8806daf7e7b8523a32e9203fdede6.jpg
      I’m not a meme maker but maybe someone can manage

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Cousin Itt beat you to it.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          My apologies should read further down thread.

          • Historicat

            I usually sort by oldest comments first, just to get the first takes.

      • Biff52

        She could pass for Ivanka.

    • Biff52

      Take the cannoli meatloaf, leave the gun…

      • calliecallie

        Try the meatloaf. It’s the best in the city.

  • Me not sure

    The FBI says that there will be no charges against Flynn, but knowing Flynn to be a man of honor, I’m sure he will turn himself in and insist on being charged.
    “LOCK ME UP! LOCK ME UP! LOCK ME UP!……Nah.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      No, they’re too busy going after the poor tech who set up Hillz’ server because SOMEONE MUST PAY!

      • RC

        I thought he had immunity.

    • puredog

      Gorka said so, ergo it must be true.

      • Me not sure

        Until it isn’t…

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ve been to wilder raves.

      • ariel_gee_398

        If this is a rave, I want my share of the drugs.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Bright side: Cheaper than candy.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Mr. Gwinn,
    I’m appreciating your work more and more. I used to start my day with Daily Kos’s “Pundit Roundup.” I’ve switched to your column every morning as my start on the day’s news.

    • Hurray!
      ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

    • Yr. Gma

      Our Dominic is the best. The boy can write.

  • Mary Sandoras

    I like the Deep State article because wtf is a deep state? I only hear that term from conspiracy nuts.

    “”There, “the deep state is not official institutions rebelling,” he said, but rather “shadowy networks within those institutions, and within business, who are conspiring together and forming parallel state institutions.”

    Mr. Trump, by treating these institutions as if they are already his political enemies, makes that harder to avoid.

    Bad for Everyone
    As that gulf widens, it becomes more likely that mutual mistrust will lead the president and government bureaucracy to actively undermine one another.””

    WINNING (NOT).

    • Carpe Vagenda

      IOW the paulista berners are back in new kabuki robes.

      • fishslappingdancer

        Now I’m feeling stupid:( Even with the help of the almighty Google I have no idea what that means.)

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Those who believe in libertarian socialism. Give me my government bennies, but don’t make me pay for them, or regulate me in any other way. See ” cognitive dissonance “

        • Carpe Vagenda

          IOW this is the latest argument from our own little lefty ratfuckers for it being progressive for progressives to stand down and not oppose what’s going on. Because despite the fact that the underground establishment openly stole this election, the people trying to stop them are in the intelligence community. Which is all icky and unprogressive.

          Basically “deep state” is the new neoliberal.

          • fishslappingdancer

            Thank you, neoliberal I know and loathe, off to research kabuki robes now.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            It’s a form of japanese theater in which the characters are represented as archetypes by way of symbolic robes and masks

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Mornin’ wonkers. I am getting my coffee. I am coming up blank on non-comments this AM……my catch acronym for the week. SNAFU

    With a splash of 1/2 and 1/2, no sugar.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      FUBAR fits it better I think.

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Friday
        Underboob
        Betrays
        Aerodynamic
        Re-design

        ?

    • puredog

      Maybe also add too a splash of B & B?

  • Sardonicuss

    That capybara was captivating.
    After yesterday, think I should just quit now while ahead.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      No, no – capitalize on your momentum.

      • Sardonicuss

        So, I should carry on with the captivating capybara cavalcade capriciously?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I have many questions about the story with juice boxes but I’m afraid to ask for fear they’ll be answered.

    • Horse meat is supposed to be good? IDK.

      • Biff52

        There used to be a food-grade horse ranch near Santa Cruz CA, if you can believe that.

        • puredog

          When I was an impoverished college student in Portland, there was a horsemeat market on SE Hawthorne Boulevard (J&H Horsement, IIRC) that was quite popular with the economically anxious.

  • Me not sure
    • Tallmutha

      We don’t need another gyro.

      • Me not sure

        I tend to turn any room I’m in into a Thunderdome after one of those things.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I’m actually starting to think that Lord Dampnut is a gift to progressives. He is keeping Republicans from getting anything done, riled up the base in a way they haven’t been since the Vietnam Nam war. Let’s just hope that he doesn’t end the world first.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Last night I believe I heard that the protests going on, nation-wide, is actually bigger than the Vietnam protests. It’s pulling in people from a much wider spectrum of concerns and the population is bigger too.

    • RC

  • Nounverb911
    • Yeah we saw that. I believe Rebecca said something to the extent of, “Polio.”

    • Antonin Dvorak

      That shouldn’t be too hard with decades of data at our disposal. We should all chip in to make one big report and split cash.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’s a boondoggle anyway. They’re saying “vaccines,” but they’re actually talking about thimerisol, which has been removed from the vast majority of vaccines since before this millennium began.

    • Tallmutha

      Hasn’t made a decent movie in a while.

    • Michael R

      How much to prove Bigfoot isn’t real ?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      How about smallpox? How much more fucking proof do you need, assholes?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Are we assuming that all the people who have already proved that they’re safe are off the table? Because nothing is 100% safe.

      The fuck is in the water in Bedford?

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        I visited Bedford once – it felt like a weirdly antiseptic stage set.

        • Yr. Gma

          Isn’t that where Lizzie Borden kept her axe?

          • Sedagive ’em Hell

            This is Bedford, New York. It’s an insanely wealthy bedroom community (think Kennedy family, etc).

            It’s a Currier & Ives fantasy all year long.

          • Yr. Gma

            Ah. Lizzie was in Mass.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Why just “safe”? Why not “save tens of millions of lives?”

      *this is far worse than the anti-seatbelt arguments; people who don’t get vaccines are SUFFERING AND DYING

    • Biff52

      I am disappoint in RFK Jr.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        I’m disappointed in Bobby De Niro.

      • bupkus23

        I used to admire RFK, Jr. for his Riverkeeper and NRDC work. Now I’m just disgusted, expecting his woo position on vaccines is going to discredit Riverkeeper and NRDC ( which already have a hard time with the Trumpanzee types ).

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      De Niro, buddy, stick with what you’re good at.

    • TakingAmes

      Whose turn is it to call the CDC and the NIH? They’ve gotta report ready.

  • Michael R
  • RC

    I’m so proud of my Washington state legislators and court system. Going to be interesting to see the clash of the states with Trump once they start trying to make it legal for florists and bakers to discriminate.

  • wait! what?

    https://youtu.be/rFfCa96HSxY

    Capybara’s are nice and all; but you should always lead with a tickled penguin.

    • natoslug

      Maybe later. I’m still a little too tired to tickle my penguin. But if our Wonkette posts some bunk-worthy articles this morning . . .

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        OK, y’all are killin me this AM.

      • TakingAmes

        Like Justin Trudeau of the North describing quantum computing? Their pressers are so much better than ours!

  • Michael R

    ” I’m not ranting and raving ”

    We know what we saw

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l0He4xNTIdXKZ9Spi/giphy.gif

  • wait! what?
  • doggiedaddy
    • calliecallie

      Is that banana made out of tuna fish?

      • fishslappingdancer

        Okies, no offense intended, just curious. People eat cod, mackerel, haddock and tuna fish. Why does tuna need the ‘fish’ added and not the others?

        • fishslappingdancer

          Speaking as a old Brit who never met this construction before the intertubes became a thing

        • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

          Because otherwise people would be embarrassed by trying to tuna piano.

        • Persistent Demme

          Why do some people say “hamburger meat?”
          Must be regional.

          • Sarah Balfour

            ‘Hamburger meat’? Mince (beef or lamb (or buffalo, venison, reindeer even ostrich. I’ve eaten burgers made fromlots of meats. Crocburgers are very popular in South Africa. But buffalo is my favourite. Pity it’s so expensive).

        • Sarah Balfour

          Because Americans Can’t – Or Don’t – Speak English.

          Swordfish
          Dogfish
          Parrotfish
          Pipefish
          Butterflyfish
          Catfish
          Anglerfish
          Lanternfish
          Lungfish
          Crayfish (not actually a fish)
          Tuna

    • Yr. Gma

      Alternative monkey.

    • Doug Langley

      On Daily Kos there was a lady who described her disbelief to discover her cat just couldn’t get enough sweet stuff, like fruit and candy. Cats aren’t supposed to have the gene to love sugar, but apparently now and then one sneaks through.

    • phoenix00

      MUST… NOT…. THINK… DIRTY… THOUGHTS…..

  • Shoto

    The video of that alleged “baby capybara” might actually be a giant chupacabra! Why does the Liebrul Media traffic in the Fake Newz?

  • puredog

    When I read Peggington’s description of skinny hipsters with skinny sideburns, I had a sudden vision of Stephen Miller in full muttonchops and couldn’t stop giggling.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Shaved head and muttonchops FTW!

  • ltmcdies

    morning everyone…did we sleep well….what fresh hells await us this morning….

  • Reximus
    • Shoto

      I like Navarro’s attitude.

      • ltmcdies

        I admire her loyalty to her party but man…..

    • Résistance Land Shark
    • Weevie

      Tough up, weenie!

    • dshwa

      9/10. Missed a chance to call Trump or Jarrod a “snowflake”.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Point for the missing ‘fee-fees’

      • chicken thief

        Also too, lack of “Sad!”

    • doggiedaddy

      He’s morphing into KellyAnne

      • Reximus

        If I was at meeting with him, I’d wear some garlic, just in case

    • TakingAmes

      Ouch.

  • Résistance Land Shark
  • File photo of the St. Louis Cop:

    http://i.imgur.com/jXpbziV.jpg

    • chicken thief

      Well, no wonder. That third citation down is the “Flamboyantly Gay Award”.

  • Me not sure

    Am I mistaken, or have all of the curtains in the White House suddenly turned into a garish gold brocade?

    • Jon Sussex

      Apparently he’s using Clinton’s drapes.

  • snigsy

    Today’s one item of good news: it’s payday. As for everything else in reality-world . . .

  • Weevie

    It’s a race of subterranean eggplant. Courage to the rescue!

  • Chadwells

    Hmmmm…a bullshit “love me” Dampnut rally this weekend….and it is kicked off by this. Not an attempt to distract from the Russia thing or the 8 million thousand other fires, I’m sure.

    The tragedy is that it will probably work in the drooling masses, FFS.

    “Chaffetz Wants Charges for Former Clinton Aide”

    http://www.rollcall.com/news/chaffetz-wants-charges-for-clinton-it-aide

    • doggiedaddy

      Does Heir Trump Dear Leader fly down to Flori-Duh on AF1 or his own plane?
      http://37.media.tumblr.com/4f965667a20407338834647a14f1a988/tumblr_n0pkk73sl81qh59n0o9_r1_250.gif

      • Tina in Spokane WA

        Air Force One of course, in case something happens and he needs to tweet Bannon to ask what to do. I’m sure he’d prefer his own, with all the gold plating. But he hasn’t had a chance to spend millions of tax dollars spiffing up the plane to his standards.

      • Hardly Ideal

        Call me crazy, but a bit from an old XKCD comes to mind:

        [Inside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp’s control room.]
        Pilot: We’re taking damage!
        Ron Paul: Keep firing!
        Pilot: No good! We’re losing altitude!

        [Outside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp, it hangs smoking in the air.]
        Ron Paul: All engines full! Pull up!
        Pilot: Can’t, sir!

        [The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily.]

        [The blimp sinks further.]
        Pilot: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold…
        Ron Paul: Never!

    • Weevie
      • Chadwells

        Such a punchable face!!!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, to have the luxury of telling someone in the Senate not to be on my side…

    https://twitter.com/SenSasse/status/832612498662637568

  • Kgprophet

    Trump is going to hold another hatefest this weekend in Florida. You got to figure even those core crazies are getting tired of his “me me me” rallies:

    “You, you remember when we all chanted ‘lock her up, lock her up’? Those were great times, great times.”

    • bupkus23

      “…You got to figure even those core crazies are getting tired of his “me me me” rallies…”

      NOPE. The crazies down here in Floriduh will NEVER tire of their fantasy Rump…

    • eyelashviper

      Based on protests at Mar-A-Lago and WPB, he may get more than a few jeers, but will undoubtedly describe them as fans…
      I hope the venue is surrounded by a sea of pink pussy hats and signs against him and his cabal of deplorables.

    • TakingAmes

      I hope a bunch of people got free tickets and don’t show up, so he looks out on an empty arena.

    • Mr Canoehead

      LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

  • Reximus
    • Sandy Beaches

      Who on earth is telling this whale smegma that this is a good idea?

      • Doug Langley

        The nanosecond the whole thing blows up, I’m sure he’ll find a scapegoat.

      • Persistent Demme

        I’d guess that President Bannon is behind this.

      • phoenix00

        Bannon & Miller undoubtedly. Those two are the ones itching for a Gestapo-fueled Kristalnacht.

    • Brad H

      Two words for Shitgibbon: posse comitatus. I think there will be a whole lot of Governors who will be filing for an injunction, should the Guard be called up in in their states without their authorization.

      • eyelashviper

        The National Guard is exempt, and can be called up by Governors, and nationalized. I imagine that there will be lots of blowback, and court challenges to any such orders.
        Also too, it would take a lot of FUNDING to mange such an effort, and most of those states have few nickles to rub together.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Fan-fucking-tastic. The Russian Puppet is going to try and have uniformed military personel rounding up civilians. “Vere are your PAPERS!”

  • Reximus
  • Bitter Scribe

    “Freedom of speech and religion aren’t subject to the whim of a majority; they are constitutional guarantees,” said the lawyer for the gay-hating florist.

    So is equal protection under the law, cupcake.

    • suziq

      Unanimous decision in state supreme court. So, yeah.

    • TakingAmes

      This argument makes no sense. I fail to understand how selling flowers to a gay couple infringes on the practice or belief of anyone’s religion. If you’re in business to make money, you’re a capitalist, and it shouldn’t matter one whit to whom you sell your product. Buyers, on the other hand, can vote with their wallets. See Nordstrom. No one’s religion makes it ok to discriminate. Jesus would not refuse to sell flowers to a gay couple getting married. Jesus preached love.

      • Sarah Balfour

        Jesus didn’t exist.

        Perhaps you should try actually reading the bible, especially Leviticus, which is where Right-wing Xian whack-jobs get most of their Right-wing Xian whack-jobbery from.

        • phoenix00

          When One Corinthians just won’t do!

  • Reximus
    • Yr. Gma

      Jesus. Fucker doesn’t stop.

  • AnniNoone

    I hate Chaffetz so much I can’t even be witty. He’s not even pretending to be fair or responsible. We have to crowdfund a historic war chest for his 2018 opponent.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      I feel the same way. It’s rare when I actually hate, but I’m leaning that way with Chaffetz. Jerk thought he’d cruise through an easy four years of doing nothing but harassing Hillary.

      • suziq

        He is sticking with that plan!

  • eyelashviper

    Trump all excited about calling up the National Guard and declaring war, and is taking the day off to decide upon his uniform as Dick-In-Chief:
    https://markosun.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/gadafx6.jpg?w=1000
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/50/21/24/50212481398c7cd9ecc9ad94a21b8f7b.jpg

    • PubOption

      G-Daffy G-Don?

  • Zyxomma

    How did a day without immigrants play out in your city. Here’s how it went in mine (caution, paywall): https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/16/nyregion/day-without-immigrants-boycott-trump-policy.html?_r=0 I stayed home yesterday and bought nothing. I watched 10 minutes of the mentally unstable dictator tot, then turned off TV.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      The big march was in Milwaukee on Monday, but there was still a large showing in my area yesterday. I had to work, but the only thing I bought was a delicious lunch from my favorite immigrant owned restaurant. I did not even buy beer!!!!

      • phoenix00

        Hmm I ought to consider getting immigrant brown-peoples’ food for dinner again.

  • HazooToo

    There’s a guy in the Cernovich thread who is trying to blame recent riots in France on the refugees, instead of outrage over a case where French police may have raped a 22 year old black man. Anybody have some info on that?

    • Scrofula

      France seems to have a riot a week; usually over labor and/or student fees.

      • HazooToo

        Some French guy was quoted saying “We are angry about literally everything.” But the only recent riots I can find seem to stem from the cop incident, which I can totally understand. But ‘Comrade Pootie’ seems to think that it’s because refugees are trying to erase their culture and that France is going to have (another) civil war, in which 300 nukes will be used. I don’t really see the point in telling him that France has already had five revolutions and they haven’t managed to kill off their country entirely yet.

        • Scrofula

          Except for the war and nukes stuff, it does sound like France, all protective of their snails and onions and horse meat; and they’ve had more than a few atrocities lately.
          But I have no idea. One downside of such a never-ending train wreck is the rest of the world may cure cancer or make alien contact and we wouldn’t know right now.

          • HazooToo

            That’s why I’m following BBC news as well as all the anti-Trump shit, but it’s still overwhelmed by the amount of anti-Trump shit. Do you have any decent suggestions for tracking current events in the rest of the world?

          • Scrofula

            Nah, I’ll check BBC, Guardian and Telegraph if I want to get out. Although I imagine Agence France Press has an English-language version somewhere.

          • HazooToo

            Ty, I will add those middle two on and check last one.

  • Persistent Demme

    T***p is glad that his awful presser serves as a distraction.
    (But I don’t think it will work this time.)

  • Jack

    “President Trump to Chris Christie: Try the meatloaf”
    http://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/17/president-trump-to-chris-christie-try-the-meatloaf.html
    Christie, “That’s not Meatloaf!”

    Is it true that Trump likes Olestra and that’s why the staff has all that ‘anal leakage?”

  • NotConvinced

    The thing about a shit sandwich is this:
    The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.

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