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Hi, James Comey. We know we yell at you a lot. Like A WHOLE LOT. It is because you are the worst and you are a hack and maybe you were part of the Trump regime’s coup against America, and like Rep. Maxine Waters said as she threw her hands in the air and dropped a hot mic, you have zero credibility. Fuck you, dude.

And today, we shall yell again, because here is why. Remember how we learned this week that the Trump campaign was definitely communicating with Russian intelligence for months before the election? Fun details we learned in that New York Times report included how US intelligence started intercepting those communications right about when they started noticing Russian hacking, and also that, specifically, the FBI’s investigation, its OFFICIAL INVESTIGATION, into former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort’s ties to Russia and pro-Kremlin douchebags in Ukraine started way back last spring.

For a quick frame of reference, Comey’s FBI cleared Hillary Clinton of wrongdoing in the Bowling Green Benghazi Email Massacre in July of last year. And all this time, there wasn’t just a minor investigation into Trump’s Russia scandal, but a BIG, multi-faceted investigation, and the FBI had found out FOR SURE that Trump’s people were communicating with Russian intelligence. The FBI had also conclusively, for sure, figured out that Hillary Clinton emailed one of her aides to find out when “The Good Wife” came on, and that it was not a criminal act.

So, in October, as Donald Trump was flailing in the polls in the wake of the release of the Grab Them By The Pussy tape, Comey’s FBI decided to put the nail in Hillary’s coffin by shouting from the fucking mountaintops that some laptop from an investigation into Anthony Weiner’s dick might possibly have a different email about “The Good Wife” on it. BURN HER FOR A WITCH. (For the record, it did not have a different email about “The Good Wife” on it, as we learned three days before the election, after Comey had inserted his slimy dick into American democracy.)

THEY KNEW. FOR SURE. THAT TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN. WAS COMMUNICATING. WITH THE RUSSIANS.

Comey could have stayed silent about both things, though we’d argue that the scale of Trump’s Russia scandal far outweighs whether Hillary Clinton shared a casserole recipe with Huma one time in 2011. (We are very #InTheTank for Hillary in that way.) But instead, he screwed Hillary, while somebody at the FBI (probably named James Comey) whispered at the New York Times that they had found no clear links between Trump and Russia, right when investigative journalists were really starting to connect the dots of the story.

THEY KNEW. FOR SURE. THAT TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN. WAS COMMUNICATING. WITH THE RUSSIANS.

Jesus fuck, man, when does James Comey get to go to jail?

Here’s another reason to tell Comey to set his dick on fire, courtesy of the Washington Post. Remember how the FBI interviewed former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn about his phone sex sessions with the Russian ambassador, and how they knew Flynn was lying about the content of those conversations before Trump was even inaugurated? Three guesses who didn’t think it was a good idea to say anything:

The Post reported Tuesday that near the end of the transition from the Obama administration to the Trump administration, outgoing CIA Director John Brennan and Director of National Intelligence James R. Clapper Jr. wanted to tell the Trump team that Michael Flynn had misled incoming Vice President Pence and others on his contacts with Russian officials. Comey disagreed:

The FBI director pushed back primarily on the grounds that notifying the new administration could complicate the agency’s investigation. The bureau, Comey also insisted, shouldn’t be “the truth police,” according to an official familiar with his thinking at the time. “In other words, if there’s not a violation of law here, it’s not our job to go and tell the vice president that he’s been lied to.”

Hey, remember that time Comey said, last month, in a hearing on Russian hacking, that it would shock and awe him and totally mess up his hair to “confirm or deny a pending investigation,” and independent Maine Sen. Angus King just about shit a brick, saying “The irony of your making that statement here I CANNOT avoid”? Yeah.

BUT. HER. FUCKING. EMAILS.

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[New York TimesWashington Post]

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  • OrdinaryJoe

    “FSB, FBI? No difference, they both work for me.” V Putin.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Feeling the FBI is in disarray, Comey has initiated a “back to our roots” campaign at the FBI, setinng a personal example by wearing a dress to work.

  • proudgrampa

    Comey is the worst.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s so bad, even Coney Island is considering a name change. It’s just too close.

      • Querolous

        Comedy doesn’t know what to do.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Working with the TV on, *45 is blathering to the press. So far it sounds like one of his campaign speeches.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      ALL his speeches sound like campaign speeches.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Party before country no matter what the cost to the American public. The majority of right-wingers seem to have no empathy or moral character.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “It’s OK to suck, as long as you suck up.”
    — James Comey, personal motto

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      T shirt material, bigly

    • geoffalnutt

      He’s shopping for a jail cell.

  • rocktonsam

    Dear World,

    Don’t hate us please.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Too late!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      *Corollary: We voted for Hillary.

  • OneYieldRegular

    You do not want to know what goes on in the back of Comey Ping Pong Pizza.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I don’t even want to know what goes on in the front of it.

  • GoutMachine

    But! But! America is the best country in the world! No other country comes close! Our democracy is the stablest, most functional! Everyone else is a geh commie!

  • memzilla Ω

    Follow the money. The worst Putin has on Dolt 45 isn’t the pee hookers, it’s the records of Russian state and mob money which have been keeping him afloat since the NY banks stopped lending to him after his sixth bankruptcy. What the US intel community is doing is unraveling the matryoshka doll shell companies that hid the transactions, an unraveling greatly helped by intercepted phone conversations and the fact that the NSA routinely scoops up foreign-bound internet traffic for later analysis.

    Then you put that together with GPS cell phone data and travel and passport records. Takes a while, but our weakness in intelligence has never been gathering data, it’s tasking the resources to analyze data. Which Twitler has DEFINITELY incented the intel community to do.

    With the release of the Drumpf housing law violation records from the FBI FOIA archives, I think we’re seeing the schism inside the FBI between the DC Real ‘Murican office and the NYC Hillary-Hatin’ Giuliani Operative office.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Just FYI: the role of the Executive Branch – of which Twitler is the head and to which the FBI belongs – is to enforce the laws. In case you were still able to sleep soundly at night.

  • “Look, I mean, yes, on the one hand, it is troubling that the institutions of American democracy have been compromised and the president may be under the influence of a hostile foreign dictator who would like to see America taken down several pegs, but on the other hand… tax cuts… so… come on… right?”

    • GoutMachine

      Email, also too.

    • Jacob Prescott

      Don’t forget all the burdensome regulations that keep our water and air clean. Our health industry is going to boom with all of its new….”customers”

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Don’t you mean our emergency rooms are going to boom with all its new customers?

      • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

        Might be a good time to invest in coffin manufacturers’ stock. Or pine box companies.

  • Rick Hill

    I drew this!*

    *alt fact. I did not draw this. Also, all this will work out so why sit around quibbling about who’s electing who
    http://images.dailykos.com/images/366304/story_image/1264.png?1487114598

  • exinkwretch

    Comey has also called a halt to all Russian counterintelligence efforts, because who is to say Russian spies aren’t actually spies — they may just be collecting donations for the Red Cross.

    • FigaroPho

      Luckily the CIA and NSA seem pissed off enough to pick up the slack.

  • Shibusa
  • OrdinaryJoe

    *45 asks himself every day, “What would Putin do?”

  • Kerlyssa

    Maine is acquitting itself well in the 1st hundred days… we’ll see if it continues. /ain’t got no trust left

  • weejee

    For me, why is it when folks talk about #45 my first thought isn’t tRump.

    / with votes too, also

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Always found it ironic that BHO was #44.

  • Amelia

    You know, I had a thought that maybe I should take a news-related mental health day and hoo boy, I was right. Between the ICE stuff and this motherfucker, it took twenty slow breaths to hold back the capslock rage storm.

  • Duke

    What rhymes with “Comey?”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Loamy?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Baloney

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Foamy? As in Santoroamy?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Bloeme?

    • Amelia

      Phony. Also crony. /alt rhymes

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Heywood Jablomie?

    • Mary Sandoras

      Traitor?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Show me…Trump’s tax returns.

    • FlownOver

      Hitler? [just for old times’ sake at Teh Wonket]

  • canes_pugnaces

    When a government goes to war with itself, things rarely end well. Right now, Russia has inserted itself in the upper levels of the government, and the Fetid Velveeta Goober, the Goober Asswhipe Party and the teams of demented Brightart dildos are delighted. Comey? WTF?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    *45 sounds paranoid delusional in his ranting.

  • goonemeritus

    Give James a break he has been busy building a dossier on Elisabeth Warren’s failure to live up to the terms of the Columbia Record Club contract. With any luck though we will hear more about this in August of 2020.

  • Sardonicuss

    OT..but not really:
    Between this “hastily called” press conference and “Distraction Volk Orlando”. Does this not look like an absolute paranoid mental break / meltdown?
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-media-out-of-control_us_58a5ea16e4b07602ad529bb7?kdju43tthgccv7vi&

    • redarmyzombie

      Oh my god, he’s such a fucking crybaby. How much longer until he actually breaks down screaming and crying on live television?

      • Sardonicuss

        Can you imagine the behind the scenes leaks that are going to come out of this?
        “Well, somebody read him the Post article and he started throwing things and demanding a rally in Florida? and a press conference?”

        Holy crap!

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Not yet, but he’s headed that way.

    • FigaroPho

      Nope. Don’t let them fool you. Trump is always like this. What the presser and rally are all about is rallying the Koolaid drinking troops so that they will pressure their GOP congressmen into dropping this and not even thinking about impeachment. There are still a lot of true believer Trumpanzees out there. Not as many as just a few weeks ago but they’re still out there. This is raw meat to them. The Trump White House is freaked out by how big the reaction to this stuff is and are hoping to quell it with their own phony “resistance”. That’s what this is. Now’s the time for us to get even louder.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I don’t think our Wonket even needs a reason to tell him. He should show some initiative and just do it without being asked by now.

  • goonemeritus

    All snark aside I firmly believe our problem is that we are less effective whiners than Republicans. They can whine for years about shit the absolutely know is false and make it look effortless. FFS they are still harping on Death Panels.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I just don’t know how to respond to this. Apparently the conniption fits by three year olds is a plus, not behaving like adults.

      • redarmyzombie

        Honestly? I think we need to start being massive fucking assholes and fuck them ’till they get hemorrhoids, and keep fucking them.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Can’t gainsay you on this. These people can never be allowed near the levers of power again.

      • goonemeritus

        What good is being an adult if we are ruled by those three year olds?

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          Parents are familiar with the feeling of being ruled by three-year-olds. What keeps us going is knowing that it will eventually stop.
          Unfortunately, this time we can only expect it to get WORSE.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      They feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility to personally whine like little bitches because they are whiny little bitches.

    • FigaroPho

      They aren’t better whiners IMO they’re just far more willing to lie, be lied to, and fuck over everyone to get what they want. Is that who we want to be? Lying ignoramuses who fuck over everyone else? Then we’ll be Republicans.

  • exinkwretch

    Wow. Trump is turning the bullshit amplifier up to “11” at today’s presser.

    • Sardonicuss

      I think we are witnessing his mental collapse in real time.
      Don’t think he is going to make it to the toe-nail-clip saving pee-in-the- bottle stage.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Yeah, I think he is unraveling. Whether Congress will do something is another matter. After today, they may conclude they have to act now even if they don’t get their tax cuts for billionaires. Or they will pay dearly in 2018.

    • SayItWithWookies

      C’mon — the greatest electoral victory since Reagan, doing more in a shorter time than any administration, drugs are cheaper than candy bars — it’s a veritable cornucopia of awesome knowledge.

      • Longstreet63

        Dammit. Now I want a candy bar

        • FlownOver

          Got a great deal for you – candy bar for drugs, even swap.

      • FigaroPho

        Quick, somebody tell him that FDR once got 523 Electoral votes while winning the popular vote by 11 million. His little goldfish brain will explode.

    • Serai 1

      The flop sweat is getting severe.

    • The Wanderer

      He’s got no choice; his only salvation is to galvanize the hordes of Orcs and send them on the attack.

  • Aileen

    I have a deep, visceral need to see Comey in prison. Like, actual prison for a very long time. I have a much less intense need to find out why he did it – is Russia blackmailing him, too? Just paying him a shit ton of money? Maybe he just really hates the Clintons?

    • Spurning Beer

      If Comey were ever to go to prison, it would be to a cushy Federal prison with a 9-hole golf course and no anal rape whatsoever.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I don’t know his history, but he comes across as a weak, limp, career bureaucrat who simply caved and did what he had to, to appease the rough bully boys in the rogue NY FBI anti-Clinton cabal, in a desperate attempt to keep them quiet and not make it look like he had completely lost control of his organization on account of being weak and limp.

    • Serai 1

      I have a deep, visceral need to see actual Constitutional punishments handed out for this shit. But that’s just me – I’m a Spaniard. We’re all bloodthirsty, you know.

      http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Serai/Comment%20pics/gifs/animals/cat%20files%20nails.gif

      • The Wanderer

        I’m mainly German-Irish-English, meaning that stereotypically I’m:
        a. German enough to efficient about it;
        b. English enough to be cruel about it; and
        c. Irish enough to sing about it over whiskey later.

        • Longstreet63

          Welsh-Italian. For us, it’s :
          1)Take bloody revenge.
          2) blame the English.

      • redarmyzombie

        Basque-Apache-Irishman here. I am, shall we say, brimming with desire for terrible, terrible punishments to be doled out to the whole lot…

      • goonemeritus

        I’m Italian so I am not opposed to seeing the occasional face squeezed

      • Longstreet63

        Does he, by chance, have six fingers on his right hand?

        • Serai 1

          Does who?

          • Longstreet63

            The Man who killed your father…

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    How does that badge stay on when it’s pinned to slime?

  • Randy Riddle

    “THEY KNEW. FOR SURE. THAT TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN. WAS COMMUNICATING. WITH THE RUSSIANS.”

    You mean they knew that Trump’s campaign was communicating with the Russians?

    Excuse me while I put on my shocked and surprised face…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You mean that thing we were talking about before the fucking election?

      • Thaumaturgist

        I have no doubt the FBI infiltrated the Clinton campaign. Therefore, yes, they did know that Trump was communicating with the Russians during the campaign because Hillz’ campaign had the evidence.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Can’t have it both ways, 45. Can’t say the leaks are real and then that the news is fake.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      But, but…you’re expecting rational, logical thought here. Have you met this man?

    • Serai 1

      Apparently he can. But he can’t make people believe it.

      • Boscoe

        Well, the ones that don’t have the traitor flag sticker on the back of their pickups, anyway…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    You know, this is bigger than Watergate. The olds here know where I’m coming from on this. You kids…pay attention to what is going on, you’ll be able in say 35-40 years to tell the youngs THEN about how you saw terrible, insane history being made.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Great. I’ve already had to live with Bob Woodward’s self-aggrandizing moralistic, insidery, lickspittle bullshit, and now you’re telling me there’s gonna be another one?

    • The Wanderer

      I was in my early teens when Nixon tried his hand at subverting the Constitution, and I watched the whole thing unfold on CBS. Walter Cronkite was like an oracle, and we got to know people like Rodino and Ervin who Took No Shit from the White House.
      I kept trying to tell myself, “No, the GOP can’t possibly be This Fucking Stupid to do anything like this again” during Iran-Contra.
      I was wrong, and my heart is filled with hatred to see my country shamed before the world again.

      • Boscoe

        It’s weird… it’s like EVERY time we get a GOP administration, traitorous, illegal stuff happens. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence…

        • georgiaburning

          Even BEFORE they get elected. Nixon pushed South Vietnam to NOT go into peace talks with North Vietnam in 1968. Reagan’s crew got the Iranians to not release the embassy hostages until after the 1980 election.

          • Boscoe

            Them good ‘ol boys is go-getters!

        • BlissfulScribbler

          Well, say it with me, everybody: “It’s okay when Republicans do things!!!’

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The iconic catch phrase of Watergate (“What did the President know, and when did he know it?”) was coined by a REPUBLICAN!

        • The Wanderer

          Howard Baker, as I recall. And the question’s being asked now.

        • Serai 1

          That was back when most Republicans still cared about the Constitution. Those days are LONG gone.

          • The Wanderer

            Sad to say. Aqua Buddha admitted that ideology and party loyalty outweighs the good of the nation.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            For that, things that will not pass the muster of the Commenting Rules for Radicals need to happen to him.

            We won the cold war, only to bring the mentality of the CPSU to our shores. Party before country, always.

    • Creepoman

      And that will be right about the time enough morans have forgotten every lesson and Barron von Drumpf is elected POTUS 51. (Sorry Donna Rose, were are a idiot nation).

    • Sandy Beaches

      Wasn’t Watergate about two girls who wanted to enter a “Meet Bobby Sherman” contest?

    • Longstreet63

      Yes, but since the party in power has learned to ignore shame and deny reality since then, they can think about during the ceremonies to rename a bunch of airports and highways after Trump.

    • monoglot

      This time, though, I don’t believe the President will be the one orchestrating the Saturday Night Massacre; he’ll be the first on the chopping block.

      I am thinking of learning to embroider specifically so I can decorate a throw pillow with, “He will die in jail.”

      I watched Nixon board a helicopter in 1974 and fly off into ignominy. He should have gone off to jail.

      I won’t accept a helicopter this time. Rat fuckers.*

      *favorite epithet to this very day courtesy of Donald Segretti.

    • calliecallie

      Just telling mr. cc last night that I remember as a teen sitting around watching those endless Watergate hearings over the summer because there were only 3 teevee networks back then (and PBS) and my folks would watch nothing else. Turns out that was the fire my little political soul was forged in, because I live for this stuff now. Much as I hate Trump and what he’s done, I love this political drama. I love that people are rising up and taking action. I love the daily revelations of lies and intrigue. It’s better than a soap opera (which is what I would have watched back then if they hadn’t made me watch Watergate hearings).

  • Serai 1
  • memzilla Ω

    It’s 1:34pm EST. I’ve settled for downgrading my “At least I don’t day drink” imperative to “At least I don’t morning drink.” #resolutionsatrisk

    • Sardonicuss

      I hear that. The only thing stopping me now is and empty kegerator and a trip to the store.

    • Crystalclear12

      I have moved onto “at least I don’t sleep drink”.

      • Sardonicuss

        I am reading “Proper insertion and administration of and I.V.”
        It is a riveting manual.

        • Crystalclear12

          If you find out how to send olives thru please post!

    • Serai 1

      That’s what’s great about weed. ANY time is the right time for a toke!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/deaaa1cf14643dda9c69159ab89e1eba887c8e4d737e527e6a327ef0cfe2970e.gif

      Which reminds me… ssssssssssst.

    • redarmyzombie

      Well, it’s early yet…

    • Longstreet63

      Even better: you’re on DST in a couple weeks. So you can “spring forward” towards the liquor cabinet and hour earlier.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I just drink whenever. it’s easier that way.

  • rocktonsam

    this guy is the biggest pussy I have ever seen.
    weak sad and rubber room awaits.

  • The Wanderer

    Hoover would have castrated him, and blamed it on organized crime.

    • Thaumaturgist

      That’s when America was Great. When you could blame those things on organized crime instead of the CIA.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        According to Hoover, neither the CIA nor the mafia existed in the 30s. He was right about one of those.

        • The Wanderer

          The CIA didn’t exist until after WW2, when the OSS was reorganized.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            That’s the joke. Hoover infamously denied the existence of the mafia.

  • Crystalclear12

    Here is a thought. I think publishers of text books should start sending questionnaires to members of Congress to document this historical event. A first hand account:
    Why didn’t you support an investigation?
    Was this done solely out of party loyalty?
    When did you realize this was going to end badly?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      A few months ago I tried to get our Replicant congresscritter to go on record as to whether Trump was fit for office. Nothing.

      • Crystalclear12

        Silence speaks volumes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      They already have lots of people writing fiction.

      • Crystalclear12

        So did Nixon but that’s not HE is remembered.

    • Boscoe

      “Do you have anything you’d like to say to the generations of future kids who will be learning about what a traitorous fuckstick you were?”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “All publicity is good publicity?”

    • Sardonicuss

      Feels just like the days right after the original Saturday Night Massacre.

    • Crystalclear12

      I can just see the charts now, one side Trumps tweets on the truth and a timeline.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “I have no deals with Russia.” I really want a buzzer installed that goes off every time he lies. It would never stop going off, but at least it would be satisfying to me.

    • Boscoe

      Or a laugh track. I’d love to see his pressers with a laugh track…

      • elviouslyqueer

        Why not. He’s already got an in-built studio audience,

      • redarmyzombie

        Or a shock collar.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Stop and think. A corporation is an artificial person, legally separate and apart from it shareholders, even if there is only one shareholder. You have to know how to parce.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Mulder, you know that polygraph that Homer Simpson caused to explode?”
      “Yes, Scully? We did managed to repair it, remember.”
      “It just melted.”

    • Sardonicuss

      Translation: “I absolutly have deals with Russia! Oh fuck..oh fuck..oh fuck!”

    • Doug Langley
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump. Electric chair. Needs more volts votes.

    He called it. Not me.

  • lucidamente

    You know who else was obsessed with leaking?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Tatiana and Olga?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Ferdinand von Zeppelin?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Beavis and Butthead?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      That murderous, cross-country driving astronaut?

    • The Wanderer

      The people who air those sublimely insane catheter ads?

    • Spurning Beer

      R. Kelly?

      • The Wanderer

        ^^^^^^^this

    • Mary Sandoras

      Rick Santorum?

    • redarmyzombie

      The Marquis du Sade?

      • SqueakyRat

        de not du unless this is a joke I don’t get

        • redarmyzombie

          Nah, just me being bad at French…

    • Randy Riddle

      I dunno. Depends, really.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Sandy Beaches

      Stephen Miller’s blow up date?

    • Santorum?

    • Nockular cavity

      Howard Hughes?

    • Doug Langley

      Joe the Plumber?

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      The captain of CSS Hunley?

      • Longstreet63

        With good reason, in that case.

    • Doug Langley

      Balloon Boy?

    • Isambard Kingdom Brunel?

    • therblig

      Henry V telling Fluellen “for I am Welsh, you know, good countryman”?

    • Querolous

      Burt Reynolds in “Semi-Tough?”

  • elviouslyqueer

    “it’s not our job to go and tell the vice president that he’s been lied to.”

    Because honestly, all this chatter about outright treason is just so exhausting.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s the vice president. They thought lies were what he wanted. The virtue president, if such a thing existed, would have been notified immediately, of course.

    • lucidamente

      “After all, he believes in conversion therapy.”

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Do not minimize Clinton’s crimes: I read her plainly plotting to split a creme brulee with Huma.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Huma? That’s providing aid to terrorists right?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        She even said it was bad in her email.

    • elviouslyqueer

      But. Podesta’s. Risotto.

    • Nockular cavity

      And you know what THAT’S code for, nudge nudge knowwhatImean.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        cutting children into pizza?…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I heard scissoring was involved in that process?

    • That’s a euphemism I have never heard before

  • Claire

    Lordy. Did Trump really call a press conference just to rage about the Lyin’ Media? Who let him do that? Is Priebus just drunk under a desk right now?

    • The Wanderer

      Sure, why not? He’s careening closer and closer to an apoplectic fit.

      • Claire

        In his condition that can’t be a very long journey.

    • Sandy Beaches

      Why should Priebus be any different from the rest of us?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      You wanna know how to get the failing New York TImes? They pull a Fake News, you pull a press conference. They send one of your nominees back to the private sector, you force one of their reporters to cover your rally in Florida. *That’s* the MAGA way! And that’s how you get the failing New York Times. Now do I want to do that? Am I ready to do that? Yes. I’m offering America a deal. They want this deal. Such a great deal. Really terrific.

  • Mary Sandoras

    I think setting Comeys’ dick on fire is too kind.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Fire deserves better.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dick libel.

    • Creepoman

      Loretta?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Awful hard on Joe Scarborough’s lips.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’ve lit bigger matches.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      You’ll have to find it first.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “The leaks about Hillz weren’t classified.” Wasn’t that the whole point behind the private server whining? That maybe hacking could reach classified information? Oh good lord. MUST stop trying to ascribe logic to this moron.

    • Sardonicuss

      Somebody must have pointed out to him, that by screaming about “classified leaks”, he just publicly admitted that the contents of those leaks were absolutly true!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Trump: [Sniffs] Pineapple juice. [Sniffs] Cranberry juice. [Sniffs] Asparagus. Nasty, I like it. These leaks have now been classified.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You are watching the SNL cold open writing itself.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Somebody get a straight jacket. NOW.

  • Treg Brown

    “Fox and Friends. Fox in the morning… very honorable people” – The Orange Cunt during today’s press conference.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I guess he learned his lesson from Kellyanne’s endorsement of Ivanka’s clothing line — he’s the only one in his administration who can endorse stuff because he’s above conflict of interest laws.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “I know what’s good and bad.” Sigh. No. No you don’t. And you sound like a 4-year old.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Chyron HR

      HA HA TINY HANDS

      • Oblios_Cap

        Christ, what an embarrassment.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Summary for those that don’t want to watch:

      HILLARY CLINTON DID IT! OBAMA DID IT TOO AND I HAD TO INHERIT IT! DON LEMON IS A MEANIE AND FOX AND FRIENDS ARE THE ONLY TRUTH-TELLERS!

      • Mary Sandoras

        Thanks, you probably saved me from having to vomit.

      • Crystalclear12

        Thank you for your service.

      • Serai 1

        Same same old old do you care?

    • Raan

      “I’m really not a bad person, by the way.”

      #AlternativeFacts

    • Crystalclear12

      Please clap?

    • Bemused

      Er, how does he define bad person? He cheated on his wives, stole money from contractors, sexually assault women, doesn’t donate to any charities, participates in spite and revenge based acts, and tells easily disprovable, incredibly obvious lies. He seems to embody all the seven deadlies on top of that (pride, lust, wrath, envy, gluttony, sloth, vanity). I guess he hasn’t actually murdered anyone?

      • Doug Langley

        A Navy SEAL and 23 civilians, if you want to get picky.

        • hendenburg2

          several kids included

          • harryr

            At least one of them an American citizen

      • Longstreet63

        He defines it according to how he feels at the time, like everything else.

      • Serai 1

        His orders have caused the deaths of a number of people, so yes, he has murdered. He’s the fucking Antichrist – why can’t these people see it? I mean, they’ve been obsessing on it for decades, and when he finally shows up, they hand him the keys? WTF, Christers?

        • Bemused

          He can’t be the antichrist, there’s an R after his name.

    • Serai 1

      NO

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    This dipshidiot makes me fuckin’ stabby.

  • george gonzalez

    I love the smell of roasting so-called presidents and FBI Directors, in the afternoon.

    • Jennifer R

      Hope we still have enough street lamps standing once this is done for garbage day.

    • Chestnuts roasting on an open fire – with votes, of course

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • The Wanderer

      что он сказал? What did he say?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        ерунда. Bullshit.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Fiestaware libelz!

  • Sardonicuss

    It looks like the Cheeto, was just read and anon doc, from the CIA detailing his receipt of 19% of a particular oil companies holdings.
    “Do not believe the things you are about to hear from the lieing press!”

    • Pilotshark

      lugenpresses think is how they say it in the republican administration.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’ve never known how to explain to people what it’s like to talk to someone who is unable to assist in their defense and lacks the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions. This press–whatever this is — is pretty close.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “Does anyone believe that Hillary Clinton would be tougher on Russia?” A million hands want to go up in that room.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I believe there’s a good chance a random Russian in Moscow might be tougher.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Some guy at Slate had a long article about how the Times was right because Comey only told them that Trump himself hadn’t communicated with the Russians, not that his campaign hadn’t.

    Jesus H. Christ.

    • Serai 1

      Bureaucratic weasel-wording.

  • Nounverb911

    So what happened to that great plan you had where you knew more than the generals?
    https://twitter.com/JohnJHarwood/status/832289502328737793

    • MynameisBlarney

      Good goawd, he’s such a flamin’ WATB.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Bannon obviously told him to keep repeating the “inherited a disaster” phrase.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Even thought it is a fucking lie.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          His favorite kind.

    • suziq

      Let’s take a vote right now on how many people would rather just have Obama back and forget the last month.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump: “I know what’s good. I know what’s bad.”

    Why, he’s just like Santa Claus! I’ll bet he’s got lists, too.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    JFC. I mean really. I believe if John Schindler found a “liberal” bone in his body, he’d have it surgically removed.
    But, regarding the “president”,

    https://twitter.com/20committee

    “When you act like a demented asshole on the phone to allied leaders, they will tell people. Deal with it, you nut.”

    More at the site.

  • Reximus

    The Not-a-Travel-Ban Travel Ban was a very smooth perfect rollout

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Fuck you, CheetoHitler, for making me not get any work done on my day off.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Nounverb911

      If only.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        IKR? I haz a sad cuz I wishfully thought it was real.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      He’s losing his temper on national teevee. This is nuts.

      • Vincent Ricola

        “Quit asking me about Russia! I don’t even know her!”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “I am not a crook” – Richard Nixon, 1974
    “I am not a bad person” – Donald Trump, 2017

    • Sardonicuss

      He is going to attempt to sick the FBI on the NSA and the CIA.
      This will not go well.

  • Nounverb911
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Trump just told a group of reporters that “now that (he) had his team in place”, citing Comey and Sessions by name, “the leaks will stop”….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes, like Comey and Sessions have any control at all over NATO intelligence agencies who have corroborated everything leaked domestically.

  • Nounverb911
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      “The leaks – which are made up stories – are totally real, as in they are happening. The news, which is the made up stories, is fake.”
      Um, why would people “leak” fake stories, when you have Kellyanne Conjob and Spicy and that creepy serial-killer guy out there doing that openly?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        They cannot be legitimate leaks and fake. They are mutually exclusive things.

      • Serai 1

        More to the point, if the news is fake, then how can the leaks they’re reporting on be real?

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Right. Nothing to prosecute anybody for if it is fake stuff.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Once again, you’re all failing to understand that the rules of logic and reasoning we have lived with all our lives have been repealed by a Congress with fascist majorities in both houses.

    • Serai 1

      Holy shit, his brain is falling apart right in front of everyone’s everyone’s eyes.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Will the Trump-Russia leaks begin now?
    Depends.

  • Nounverb911
    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is because we never had a three year old President before.

      • redarmyzombie

        Libel, I’ve met three year olds way more well behaved than this…

  • Jenny

    Lock him up!

    Also too there was a march today in Austin and I missed it cuz I don’t facebooks. :_(

  • Vincent Ricola

    Just wow.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      That “Quiet. Quiet. QUIET!” was just plain crazypants.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Everyday I think I can’t be stunned by this anymore and everyday he proves me wrong.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I keep thinking the same thing. “Oh, that’s just Twitler being Twitler! He can’t – WHAT THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAY? Oh my gawd, I can’t believe this!”

        • Sardonicuss

          A man, who has never successfully been told no – for so long, that his brain thinks it makes reality…being told no.

  • MynameisBlarney

    New app from Comedy Central for the turnips tweets.

    Whoever thought of that is a goddamned genius.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/02/comedy-central-app-turns-trumps-tweets

    • Serai 1

      Damn. The kitten app kills it.

      ETA: Ah, no. It just kills the pictures of the tweets. Added! Let’s see how it goes.

  • Bill D. Burger

    T-Wrecks rages on. Gawwd almighty, what a global embarrassment he is.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5d73a456d4b0944c0ddce97436eb242a10cf0aafaf6faaee7b4ffeab8f03e2b9.gif

    • Crystalclear12

      Yes, all the up votes!

    • Serai 1

      Gods, that should be a .gif. Where’s it from?

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      God help us with this nut in charge.

  • Nounverb911

    I was surprised that Nuttyahoo didn’t slap him when he gave his answer yesterday.
    https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/status/832303878104309760

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • elviouslyqueer

    Um, Congress? Y’all might want to get the giant shepherd hook and pull this insane motherfucker off the stage RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

    • Oblios_Cap

      No kidding.

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s like watching a dying, dumb animal lashing out in its death throes.

      Sorry…that was too fucking dramatic. I’ll dial it back.

      • Crystalclear12

        Nah

      • msanthropesmr

        Dying dumb animals have dignity.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Rick Wilson:

        All the “conservatives” who love Trump for attacking the media are overlooking that he’s a flaming lunatic.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      The never-tedioiusly centrist Dianne Feinstein is co-sponsoring the bill calling for an independent bipartisan select committee. I’d love to know what she knows FFS…

      • DrBigHead

        The next Democrat that even thinks about using the word “bipartisan” needs to be removed from office.

        I would say “with votes”, but that’s a bit too limiting at this point in time.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        I was thinking more a “special prosecutor”, but if not, and current committees cannot do it (and it seems they cannot), then a select committee will have to do. Isn’t DiFi Ranking Member of Senate Intelligence Comm?

  • boyblue122

    OT – World map for resistance protests if anyone is interested
    http://www.resistandprotest.com/world-map

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’ve got one on Saturday and Monday, but thanks for sharing! Fight on, everyone!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Women’s issues. You know, wherevers.”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Does anyone have a grip on why he did this today? The part of my brain that tries to figure out why he thinks a particular thing is a good idea broke a spring last night.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Donald Trump is the living avatar of the abyss Nietzsche warned us about.

    • Sardonicuss

      I swear, it looks just like he is trying to get out in front of some even worse news that he learned is about to come out.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        The Espionage Act?

        • Sardonicuss

          That thing about the outward facing intelligence agencies getting sick of his shit yesterday – seems to be dropping rather quickly today.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            I believe they really do feel he is
            1. Unstable
            2. Completely out of his depth
            3. Wittingly or unwittingly compromised by the Russians (given his absurd thoughts on “deals” he might actually think he can step into this league and use his line of patter to get something from Vlad).
            Maybe AOT,K?

          • Sardonicuss

            Oh yes and rightfully so.
            These are career people: he puts them in danger, he puts their colleagues in danger he puts the nation in danger.
            They are not going to let it happen.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Ratings?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Where is that news conference taking place? Has he tackied up the White House?

    • Hutch

      Those draperies certainly are from Brothels R Us. Yikes.

  • Nounverb911
    • Villago Delenda Est

      ALL THE UPFISTS!

      • Shirleyareichert

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !di196c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !di196c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs485DirectPowerGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!di196c:….,…..

    • The Wanderer

      Van Natta will be awarded the rank of Officer in the Most Provocative Order of the Nights of Christine Keeler.

      • Well you would say that, wouldn’t you? (I know that was Mandy Rice Davis)

        • The Wanderer

          Hm?

          • Ah to a Brit of a certain age Christine Keeler and Mandy Rice Davis were the ladies of easy virtue at the heart of the Profumo scandal in the UK

          • The Wanderer

            Why, yes. That’s why I wrote it, as I did a bit of reading on the Profumo Affair. Interesting how he was able to slowly rehabilitate himself and his image.

    • Serai 1

      Makes you wonder what they’re going to do with it. Have Alec’s pants catch fire?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    But instead, he screwed America

    /fixed, with all due respect

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “It’s hard to take a child out of school with a few months left.”

    Which is why he screwed over all his ambassadors who have school-aged kids by firing them in January.

  • Mavenmaven

    These guys don’t care about Trump. They have their agenda, which requires getting control of the Supreme Court, etc, so first they had to get rid of Hillary, whatever happens to Trump won’t affect their bigger picture.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Hey, do you remember yesterday? When the “president” seemed less crazy? Good times. Not as good as the day before, when he seemed less(er?) crazy, and so on. Back to January 20 when we had a good, decent, smart, not-crazy President. Were we ever so young?

    • Jenny

      It seems so far away!

    • You mean around 9am Jan 20?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “Well, I don’t know, I was given that information…”

      So much for “the buck stops here.”

      • Serai 1

        Why the fuck did that kid let him get away with that? He LIED. Either he said it knowing it was false or he said it without knowing if it was true. Either way, it’s a LIE. When the hell is someone going to use that word to his face? Is it gonna take a goddamn comedian AGAIN to do it?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He needs my old boss’ plaque: “The buck doesn’t even slow down here.”

    • Hutch

      Off the rails?!? That was over the cliff and off the face of the sane earth!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A wormhole opened and we all whooshed into the Spock-With-A-Beard universe.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Plus side: Hot Spock with a beard!

          • Thiazin Red

            And gold lame sashes for everyone!

    • Lefty Frizzell

      He’ll say it again about being the yoogest victory ever. He’s made a conscious decision that truth is whatever he says it is.

      Mental illness

    • medcannabis1

      someone take those speed pills from him… NO MORE VISITS TO DR FEELGOOD in NYC

      • MynameisBlarney

        That guys all hepped up on goofballs!

  • cheetojeebus

    What Tha’ Fuck?
    That was the most excruciating presser I think I have ever seen. Geeze, I had to turn it off.

    • Sardonicuss

      “Next up on CNN”.
      “It seems the infamous Charles Manson has called an emergency press conference.
      Inexplicably, we will be covering it in its entirety….”

  • Nounverb911

    Did someone spank him, he’s using his inside voice now?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bannon just pressed the remote for his shock collar.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “In other words, if there’s not a violation of law here, it’s not our job to go and tell the vice president that he’s been lied to.”

    Huh…I wonder if Pence will fire his ass after Donald gets impeached. Karma’s a bitch, Comey!

  • Crystalclear12

    I find this shit is easier to deal with now that the sharks are circling.

    Not easy, just easier.

  • Bill D. Burger

    And he approaches the podium…..a sudden singularity and an alternate universe appears….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akeGhQ8OQP0

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Friends of yours?”

    No, the least racist person you’ll ever meet.

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Since when he was married to the wife before.

    • Doug Langley

      “I am deeply devoted to what’s-her-name.”

      • Nounverb911

        Ivanka?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I got her as part of a great deal.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Trump has no idea what the “CBC” stands for and just asked the reporter to set up the meeting because “she must know them”

    • suziq

      All I did was go do some laundry and wash dishes and WTF is all this even about and I can’t believe it and how can anybody even be so stupid but also too then be sort of elected in the electoral college but not win the popular vote and be the actual president of the united states of all the america and people voted for him and there are even people that still like him and excuse me anyway why is Comey not lock him up because fuck us all he just broked america and I can’t even.
      I do not think I am handling reality very well today. Time to drink? Oh look it is after noon now!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        There, there. Take a deep breath. Take more, if you need them. This feeling of “can’t even” will pass.
        Oh, fuck it, who am I kidding? Time to drink!

        • suziq

          Thanks! Sometimes I think maybe it won’t be so bad, but in less than 4 weeks it has been such a constant stream of unbelievable crazy that I don’t know if I can make it to the other side.

    • boyblue122

      all the blahs know each other dont ya know

  • Reximus

    So did he ever introduce the new Labor guy?

    • Nounverb911

      I think he quit already.

    • boyblue122

      the new labor guy was too liberal for the Rs. He favored immigrants getting work visas

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Just to make it easier to round them up…

    • suziq

      I just read a thing about him and other than being a Republican he does not sound too bad! Almost like they thought they better do something kind of normal for a change. But we will see.

  • Nounverb911
  • boyblue122

    I thought all Drumpf’s pressers were in the presence of friendly conspiracy driven media. How is he going so far off the rails

  • Wild Cat

    We should rename the crooked agency he heads the FIB.*

    *With apologies to ‘Mad’ magazine c. 1967.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Ignorant douchebag.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, remember when the liberals at Breitbart got all bent out of shape at Julia Ioffe and Melania begged them to stop sending her nazi death threats?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So, it was the Democrats in Congress who insisted on the travel ban?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    To fix race relations, Trump will be screening Birth of a Nation tonight.

    • TJ Barke

      The original.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’ll be like Rocky Horror. There’ll be re-enacters playing out the various scenes.
        Don’t forget to bring your own rope.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Joffrey Baratheon was a sane, rational, sober leader compared to this buffoon.

  • Sandy Beaches

    ‘scuse me while I retreat to my safe space….Trump Regrets on Twitter.

  • Nounverb911
    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, one of those words applies, and it isn’t racist or person.

    • The Wanderer

      This guy? Fuck this guy.

    • sosuume

      Did he say “Bettin’ Yahoo” for Netanyahu?

    • Chyron HR

      “Racist? Look at me, I can barely walk down the hall without stopping to catch my breath, how am I gonna race anyone?”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Compared to who? Sheriff Clark?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    GROUP SILKWOOD SHOWER!!!

    • No thank you!

    • cheetojeebus

      I’ll bring the loofah!

      • Jenny

        Get out of my bathroom, Bill!

    • Doug Langley

      Kinky.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    What Comey did was fucked, but I don’t think it resulted in the win for Trump. If you voted for an bigoted, narcissistic, batshit crazy sexual abuser of women, with the intellect of a turd, and the business sense of a rock, you were going to do that no matter what. You were going to do that because that’s who you are, and what you want. You were going to do that because you are a garbage person, just like him. You want a garbage country. You want people to suffer, and you are too stupid to realize you will suffer just as much yourself. Trump didn’t hide who he was. It was in our faces, 24 hours a day. People knew. Nearly 63 million people voted for him, and they were going to vote for him even if he shot someone on 5th Avenue.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m not sure that’s true. I think the last month was right out of the abuser’s playbook. The boys threatned to crash the car if they didn’t get what they wanted, and a lot of women are trained in that.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I grew up in the Appalachian Mountains of NC-snake-handling Bible Belt poverty central. I am related to, and spent nearly 40 years living around people who would rather literally cut their own throats than EVER vote for a liberal or a woman. Their minds were made up before any candidate announced, and they never could have been moved from that. I know I didn’t live in the only place like that.

    • Doug Langley
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Naw, lots of people are just so tuned out and just plain dumb that they weren’t paying attention beyond the headlines. That headline sunk her

      • TJ Barke

        Yup. I know those people.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It was the emails…

    • Good point.

    • boyblue122

      There were some exit polls released that showed a good chunk of people made up their mind on who they were going to vote for in the last week of the campaign

    • Wild Cat

      It wasn’t who voted for him.
      It was the potential voters that sat home because they thought BOTH SIDES DO IT!!!!!!!!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It was the potential voters who were intimidated away from the polls in a well planned GOP strategy.

        • Wild Cat

          Absolutely. Voter suppression. 46% didn’t vote. About 6-11% may have felt KKK-level intimidation levels. The rest sat on their fucking asses and made a country with some major issues into a nuclear basket case.

          • Hemp Dogbane

            Exactly. Republicans are very open minded about the various acts of voter suppression they will perform.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I dunno. Trump’s poll numbers were utterly collapsing.

      Before the letter, EV was a rout, Dems had senate in the bag and congress was in play, and in the end Trump won by 80K votes in 3 states.

      Comey did that.

      Easily 80K were no Trump fans but were so willing to believe anything bad about Hillary. They could have been kept without Comey.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        But doesn’t being no Trump fan, but grasping at straws to believe anything bad at all, without a shred of evidence, about the other candidates when Trump is shoving evidence in your face constantly that he’s crooked and awful, just boil down to the same thing?

        • Lefty Frizzell

          Maybe. Yes and No. It’s a reasonable position that the hunger was there and if Comey hadn’t done it somebody else would. But it was Comey what done it. And he done it good and proper, right in the sweetest of timing sweet spots, halting a landslide and re-awakening a simmering bigotry with enough time for it to dominate pre-election news cycles but no time to counter it.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Simmering bigotry. Yep.

    • BMW

      There’s some correlatory polling data that backs up the theory the Comey letter affected her numbers, but I don’t know if that’s particularly conclusive.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I haven’t known as damn thing since the election. But I just cannot, for the life of me, see HOW you go from qualified candidate with zero evidence of wrongdoing after a thorough investigation to this Trainwreck if you didn’t start off with a serious bias to begin with. I just cannot see how.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IMO the Comey treason sank Hillary because folks who had been on the fence fell off, and either didn’t vote at all or voted 3rd-party, wrote someone in, or voted for Twitler. It didn’t affect those of us of either party who had already made up our minds; it did what a lot of scandals (real or not) do – turned people off voting because the message it sent was “they’re all crooked, they all lie, they’re all the same.”

      • Sandy Beaches

        Agreed. I heard a lot of people saying that they “couldn’t” vote for Hillary, mostly because of her e-mails. So, if that weren’t an issue, I feel as though she would have won.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        We’ve heard lots of explanations. We have heard economic anxiety was going to be fixed by a man on a golden toilet. We have heard it all. I’ve thought about it a lot and the only explanation that makes any sense to me, at the end of the day, is that this is what a scary number of American citizens wanted.

    • Crank Tango

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the Comey letter was just a distraction from more fuckery going on with voting machines or vote counts or something.

    • Longstreet63

      It’s not that it made Trump voters vote, it discouraged people who might have Hillary’d into staying home or Steining us up the ass because “Each has a heart as black as the other*.”
      *Actual quote from someone I otherwise greatly respect.

    • JailWardenCaptainHowdy

      There were people who were “undecided”, and “oh, yes, those emails, you know, well gosh”.

  • memzilla Ω

    Dolt 45 asked a black reporter if the Congressional Black Caucus members are “friends of yours.” *takes rage stroke medicine*

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Sho ’nuff, boss. Wees alls gets togethers and has chitlins and cone bread.

      • dshwa

        No chicken and waffles?

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          On speshul occasions.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      To be fair, Trump only knows people who are more racist than he is.

      Believe it or not.

  • medcannabis1

    deep sleeper….

  • Vincent Ricola

    Haha Jake Tapper just called Trump’s press conference Festivus.

    • The Wanderer

      Will Trump challenge Tapper to the Feats of Strength?

      • Doug Langley

        Beware the Pickle Jar Challenge, I hear that’s rigged.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Probably, but then he’ll have a “fundraiser for the vets” when he finds out the first test is a flight of stairs.

      • Roni Resistance Raven

        I’d pay good money to see him challenge Trudeau. LOSING! BIGLY!

      • Suttree

        Can we let him warm up with a flight of stairs?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Oh the grievances were aired. Yikes.

    • The Airing of Grievances part, at least. I’d pay to see their version of Feats of Strengh.

    • Sandy Beaches

      I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been crushing on Jake a teensy bit over the past few months.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Wantin to tap the tapper, eh?

        Ugh…that was awful…

        I’ll be seeing myself out now.

        • redarmyzombie

          I could do with a good tapping myself, if ya know what I mean!

          Wait, wait, hold the door open, I’m seeing myself out as well…

    • BMW

      Someone on MSNBC made the same reference.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Funny. I see him more as a Zwarte Piet kind of guy.

    • A_Changeling

      What? Katy Tur did too!

    • Sardonicuss

      I think my “weird-o-meter” just broke.

    • Jack Tenhet

      I saw that too. This shitshow was just “The airing of grievances”. That’s a fact.

  • TJ Barke
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I learned while making long commutes on the Mass Turnpike, NY ThruWay, and the NJ Turnpike…

      No matter how tempting it is to look at the wreck, keep your eyes on the road in front of you while making sure the guy behind you is watching the road in front of him.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BMW

      Like watching a small child gloat about winning a game they didn’t even know how to play.

  • Nounverb911
    • Jamoche

      I know a lot of you were saying in December that this administration wouldn’t last a month. But I’ll bet you didn’t actually have “worry about collapse of the government” written down on your schedule for February.

      Are you kidding? Of course we did.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Nounverb911
  • Good point, you wonder what is coming down the rails
    https://twitter.com/Evan_McMullin/status/832299052633055232

    • The Wanderer

      I think we’d best start bracing ourselves.

      • Jack Tenhet

        I think we should just resign, for the moment, to being in a constant state of “brace”.

        • The Wanderer

          I get paid tomorrow. I shall top off my supplies of rye whiskey, gin, and iodine tablets.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Especially the iodine tablets. That stuff’s gonna be worth more than gold in a month or so.

      • timpundit

        With alcohol hopefully.

    • Suttree

      How long will this list of Turnip and his minions contacting Russians be? I can’t wait to hear KAC responses. Turnip uses the same liars denial very well also too. Did they do some sort of super Briggs-Meyers test to select these people?

      • yyyaz

        Nah, they can sense their own by the vacant eyes, sharpened teeth and the stench of greed.

      • calliecallie

        Maybe a lie detector test. If the lied and still passed, they’re in.

    • timpundit

      I am taking way too much pleasure in this. I think.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
    • cheetojeebus

      She’s taking this well.

    • Wild Cat

      Susan Sarandon?

    • Sardonicuss

      I thought I had tape over my web cam..?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Mike Janowski

    Checking into retirement in The Netherlands. #fuckDrumpf

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Iceland is recruiting! Was there in December. They’re desperate for more people in the service industry. Tourism is booming. Don’t think I haven’t considered it.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Can bring dogs?

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Good question. They seem like a friendly people in general. I’d imagine yes. Hell, when they went to shut down their old prison and the new one wasn’t ready yet, they gave everyone a hall pass. Just told ’em to show up when the prison was ready. They’re THAT nice.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            Must learn Icelandic?

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Wouldn’t hurt, but I’d bet you could get by on English for most jobs. Everyone learns both Icelandic and English in school. It’s required there.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Must learn to love Lutefisk? Or is that a Norwegian thing?

          • DrBigHead

            Its become more of a Minnesota Lutheran church lady thing. Far more lutefisk is consumed in the US than Scandinavia, especially at Christmastime.

          • MynameisBlarney

            From what I’ve heard, it’s fucking disgusting.

          • timpundit

            Mbhhhhoosz ool tkppos.

            Or is that too many vowels?

          • FrenchFriar
        • MynameisBlarney

          They will quarantine them for 6 months probably.
          I’ve heard it is not worth it.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Ouch. I sure wouldn’t want that. Bummer.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’ve heard it’s REALLY rough on the animals.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            My youngest dog can’t do that. No way. She’s not a laid back happy dog under minor stress. She’s a try to kill it or yourself trying to escape kind of dog under minor stress.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I had to go through a complicated process to bring my 2 dogs and cat to Hawaii, because there is no rabies here-also no ticks. Testing, lots of documentation…expensive and difficult, but at least I got to keep them at home during their “quarantine” period.

          • MynameisBlarney

            That’s cool.

      • Suttree

        Do they need blacksmith/welders/fabricators? /jk Lizzie is here, and I like cuddles.

      • FrenchFriar

        Cost of living in Iceland is 54.91% higher than in United States (aggregate data for all cities, rent is not taken into account). Rent in Iceland is 20.81% higher than in United States (average data for all cities).

        https://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/country_result.jsp?country=Iceland

        • msanthropesmr

          I imagine they also have higher minimum wage and better health care and higher QOL.

          • FrenchFriar

            Health care is definitely better. But then again, who besides third world countries don’t have better health care systems than the US

          • msanthropesmr

            Well… Actually, even some emerging economies have better healthcare than the us.

          • FrenchFriar

            Damn.

          • TJ Barke

            Merica!

          • FrenchFriar

            Fuck yeah

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          True. I was mainly hoping I could port my job over there. But lots of people share living space for that reason.

      • snark-lurker

        IMHO, if you can do it, DO IT!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        ICE. land. Ice. My basic problem, in a nutshell.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Named by the Vikings. The same folk who named Greenland. Where do you think they wanted people to go?

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I had forgotten. I did know that once. Thanks, y’all.

          • A_Changeling

            They also named Newfoundland “Wine Land”. Better not trust viking marketing.

        • Longstreet63

          The name is just propaganda. Like how Greenland was named as a conscious lie. Iceland actually is mostly rock.
          Some of it is melted.

        • FrenchFriar

          Don’t be fooled. It’s just it’s name. Those Vikings were clever monkeys.

    • Sardonicuss

      Officially volunteering for some kind of “indentured servitude” situation for anyone willing to pack me in a large trunk for transport.
      You don’t even need to put air holes in it. Either way I win.

    • timpundit

      I’m looking too, I don’t want to retire to tropical places so I was thinking Norway, Sweden. They do have a nasty skinhead problem , but I figure so will we very soon.

    • FrenchFriar

      I haven’t heard this much talk about emigration since the Vietnam War.

    • The Wanderer

      Trump may pull a William II and run off to Doorn.

  • Reximus
    • Pilotshark

      well it feels like he is trying to turn us into Kansas.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sam Brownback playbook for destroying an entire state’s economy to benefit two already obscenely wealthy men.

  • Nounverb911

    New new cover for TIME magazine. Now in GIF form….
    https://twitter.com/TIME/status/832230377498488832

    • Jamoche

      I love their cover animations :)

    • timpundit

      Needs more turds flying by….

  • cheetojeebus

    I can’t see this getting better. We’re a month in, No way he makes it to March 31st.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Everyone watching and everyone in attendance must, emotionally and psychologically, feel just like Janet Leigh in “Psycho.”___ A confrontation with madness.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/529facac04bde45fcb750e6aa082c61c5743f681cff3c7d876c64bc197ae2c90.gif

    • Nounverb911

      Is r PSYCHOdent lernin?

    • Windyish

      Twilight Zone too

    • Wild Cat

      She’s no Anne Heche.

      • Longstreet63

        You know who else was not Anne Heche?

        • Wild Cat

          Jim Nabors?

  • Jamoche

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C4zs7U9WQAAZeDl.jpg

    Why do I imagine that last line read in an absolute deadpan?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      You, yourself, Twitler, just said you inherited a huge mess. So why are you here today lying about your EC numbers? Don’t you have anything to do?

  • boyblue122

    Don Drumpf Jr 2008:
    ““Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets.” Donald Trump Jr. added, “we see a lot of money pouring in from Russia.”

    Drumpf now:
    https://twitter.com/jimsciutto/status/832295014373941248

    • artem1s

      well, it’s gonna be hard for him to plead the 5th after that… does he not have lawyers to explain self incrimination to him?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        He’s got the best brain. He consults with himself and if he tells himself it’s a go, it’s a go.

      • BlissfulScribbler

        I’m sure he does. The more important question is ‘is he capable of following a simple explanation of fucking anything that anybody tells him?’ My money’s on no. We’ve all seen how awesome he is at sticking to the subject matter when he’s asked questions by interviewers.

      • Longstreet63

        His normal policy is to tell the truth under oath, but not otherwise. That’s why he loses most of his court cases.

        • miss_grundy

          He has a tendency to say that he doesn’t remember under oath.

        • artem1s

          you know that’s an interesting point. he’s not used to dealing with criminal investigations, just civil cases. could be he is doing this because delay is a good tactic in getting a better settlement in civil cases. hope he has the pleasure of being edumacated up front and personal on a little legal feature called ‘mandatory minimums’

  • Pilotshark

    well guess one saving grace is that there was no foreigner dignitary there so he could not embarrasses us that way.

    hey you have to fine that silver lining somewhere or everyone’s heads would explode.

    • Nounverb911

      Other countries have the TV box, right?

    • Claire

      You say that like Queen Elizabeth hasn’t been glued to the livestream for the last half an hour.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    I have the feeling I missed something recently.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      I’m going to stay up late to watch that. I saw his attempts at ‘humor’ at the Al Smith dinner.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Remember, the whole point of that fiasco was supposed to be him introducing Acosta

    • msanthropesmr

      Who?

    • Anna Rompage

      I listened to the whole press conference and feel like I was acosta by Trump’s flagrant disregard of the truth…

    • The Wanderer

      He did manage to slip it in, according to Kos.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        he made a passing reference to it in between self pitying whining and attacking the press

      • Anna Rompage

        Just the tip….

        • The Wanderer

          It’s it all just the tip?

    • Erala Contratista

      Who? Huh? Dozed off…..

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Acosta’s mom must be beaming right now.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Oscar Zeta Acosta? But I thought he was dead.

      Seriously though, everything 45* says is about 45* alone. I don’t know why it doesn’t drive people crazy(er) when he refers to himself in third person. That’s a sign of a very sick mind who not only loves the sound of his own voice but the sound of his own name.

    • Mike Steele

      Yeah, he showed that messican, whatever, a world of respect. You never even saw the man, ffs

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    Holy fucking shit christ on a cracker god damn motherfucking HELL what was that steaming pile of offal? Just.. holy fuck.

    • The Wanderer

      It’s the sound of someone way out of his depth, getting jabbed on all sides, and starting to go seriously sideways.

      • Suttree

        You mean being in public and taking actual questions that require answers? Like maybe a fucking president should be able to do?!!!

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Prior to the actual election, I had close friends/family trying to argue with me that claiming he was dangerously incompetent and quite possibly in the early stages of dementia, with no one doing jack to mitigate things was foolish, and he and his cronies knew exactly what they were doing and had a plan, despite me pointing out that he could, in fact, be malicious and power hungry but also incompetent.

          Needless to say, said people have not argued with me about him since January. I wish being right made me feel any better at all, but it doesn’t.

          • Suttree

            I would call my mother’s 77 year old ex-marine boyfriend right now, but for the fact that he is having back surgery tomorrow. He laughed and laughed when Turnip won. After giving me shit for years about Obama. All while claiming that he is a registered Dem but is really an Independent.

        • The Wanderer

          Like I said, way out of his depth. He likely had no idea what the job entailed, and it’s driving him mad.
          Well, madder.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            “Likely?” I think you misspelled “obviously.”

          • Suttree

            Just like his entire life. Sorry bub, this isn’t something that comes on a silver platter.

          • Longstreet63

            Well, the Presidency came on a silver platter.
            But now he has to choke it down with people throwing rocks at him.

          • miss_grundy

            He thought that those photos of Bamz that were taken by the WH photographer was the job. Just like he thought that sitting at a desk in his building was a job. Because all he does is sit at his desk and watch tv and eat candy. He has other people doing all the hard work and then he walks in for the photo op.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Fiddling while Rome burns.
      And I don’t mean playing the violin.

  • Jack Tenhet

    Okay, so apparently the Nazis are not only fake news, but it’s us pretending to be Nazis. So i guess that means we are Stormfront, Dead Brietbart, David Duke, etc.

    This is the most paranoid SOB ever elected and that’s counting Nixon. I’m sorry, but anyone who doesn’t see how dangerously unhinged this bastard is after this should just screw off and leave me be. If I’m living in a bubble, at least it’s a sane bubble and not the bubble of paranoid conspiracy theory the republican administration is living in.

    • Wild Cat

      The WH has to be surrounded by us. He has to be removed.*

      *with votes, p’haps.

      • Serai 1

        Don’t forget to surround Congress. They’re the ones ripping the country to pieces while the Shitgibbon soils his diapers and screams.

        STAY FOCUSED, PEOPLE.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Yup! We need to surround this republican administration, even after cult 45* is gone. Hold them accountable for what they have created, enabled and refused to resist.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • TJ Barke

      Nixon libel?

      • The Wanderer

        Is that possible?

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Before now I would’ve said no, but….

        • Serai 1

          Nixon could play the piano.

          • The Wanderer

            Not a good singing voice, though, as I recall. And he adored his wife (and she him).

          • Serai 1

            But he composed some very pretty classical pieces. And yes, it appears he was a very good husband. Other than, you know, dragging his wife into a life of rubber chicken dinners and political misery.

        • TJ Barke

          It may be now…

          • The Wanderer

            To be strictly fair, Nixon was a stone cold mechanic when it came to foreign policy, and he had a lot of political savvy (yes, before his paranoia and hatred of “East Coast Elites” drove him to crash).

          • Longstreet63

            Yes, he was a loon.
            But a competent loon.

    • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • MynameisBlarney

      Yes. juuuuuuust a wee bit.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, from about 12:01 PM on 20 January 2017, yes.

      • Pilotshark

        funny that is also the time an unsafe feeling for the country as a whole came over me as well.

    • Courser_Resistance

      :::sob:::

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I started missing you before you were even gone.

    • The Wanderer

      YES!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Ohyah.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I miss him more than Riggs missed Victoria.

    • Serai 1

      Where can haz?

  • rocktonsam

    I HAVE TO HAND IT THE PREZNIT. HE NEW ENOUGH WORDS TO LAST OVER AN HOUR.
    EXCEPT HE USED THE SAME WORDS MANY TIMES.
    GOOD HEAVENS!

    • Shan McStroppyPants

      Like fast-food Mexican dishes. It’s all the same ingredients just assembled differently.

    • Mike Steele

      If it’s it all so Very, Very hard (tough, difficult) etc. then take your lazy ass home and leave us in Pence, er, peace.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I think I’m glad I missed Cheeto Fuckstick’s press screaming, yelling, whatever. I have enough horrification to last me to the end of my days. But something tells me he’s decompensating right before our eyes.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It wasn’t even horrifying so much as hysterical. This clown is completely out of his depth and it showed…

      • Sardonicuss

        I don’t know. I was pretty horrified.
        Big mistake watching before my first beer.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I watched part of it. His eyes kept darting and he couldn’t make eye contact with the audience.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    Any non US citizen types need a wife/house cleaner/cook in exchange for citizenship elsewhere? I’m more of a fight than run type usually, but heavens to Murgatroyd that was just too much.

  • Sardonicuss

    Hey..hey calm down.
    Its not like he dropped trow and started smearing his feces on the curtains or…..
    Oh, I am being told he actually did that later.
    Never mind.

  • BMW

    With God as my witness…I can’t remember which NBC reporter is Hallie Jackson and which one is Katy Tur.

    • I know, right??? Maybe one of them is pretending to be another reporter in order to get another pay check?

      • Anna Rompage

        Or maybe they’re switching places to confuse Trump so that they don’t get sexually assaulted by him….

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’ll be in my bunk…

      • BMW

        They don’t really look alike, but it is still confusing.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Hallie is the cute one. Katy is the really really cute one.

    • redarmyzombie

      Have you *ever* seen them in the same room together?

      • BMW

        Definitely not in the same room as me. :-(

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Yes it is, Chuck. Yes it is. And if you hadn’t spent the entire election doing it, this asshole wouldn’t be doing it now.

    You dumb fuck.

    https://twitter.com/chucktodd/status/832299588052799488

    • OrG

      We tried to warn you chuckles.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Like I said the other day, I may have to adopt the screen name WeFuckingToldYouSo and troll madly.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He did it to himself, the worthless hack.

    • ariel_gee_398

      All the shit that’s going on and laughing at the press is the part he thinks is un-American? Not that I disagree, but this administration passed “un-American” miles ago.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      welcome to the club, Upchuck. About fucking time…

    • The Wanderer

      He finally noticed that he’s up to his mouth in shit and someone’s making waves.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Come from the queen of the “but her emails” brigage. You and your fellow asslickers did your best to make him seem legitimate during the campaign.

  • Anna Rompage

    Our President declared that ‘Fox & Friends’ was the very bestest and most truthful news program on TeeeeVeeee… Very truthful, only the best!

    • Jack Tenhet

      Aside from Fox and friends being, well, Fox news, it’s also about as newsy as the Today show. The name alone makes it sound like some screwed up kid’s show complete with creepy puppets. Fox & Friends is neither real news nor fake news as it is not news at all.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Bigly

    • Mike Steele

      Just another commercial announcement from WH ‘As Seen On TV’ division.

  • TJ Barke
  • Asterix

    I just have no words for that shitshow. Shock and Awe.

  • MynameisBlarney

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141704281

    Oh wow…
    I can’t even with this.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • Notreelyhelping

      Don’t all black people know each other?

      • Shan McStroppyPants

        Of course. They all live in the same place called Inner City.

      • miss_grundy

        For that matter don’t all white people know each other? What? No????

        • Notreelyhelping

          Only if they get the memo.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Can’t decide whether my favorite part is him obviously not knowing what the Congressional Black Caucus is or his assumption that the reporter could set up a meeting with them because she’s also black. I got ten bucks says he thought the CBC was the Canadian Broadcasting Company.

      • miss_grundy

        He would only know the CBC was the Canadian Broadcasting Company if he lived in a New York border town that received the signal.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        …He was afraid that all the scary gang members were going to throw an exploding pizza at him?

    • HogeyeGrex
  • Villago Delenda Est
  • Asterix

    If that press conference doesn’t scare the fucking shit out of Congress, nothing will, and this asshole will never be impeached. He could BBQ fucking kittens and Congressional Republicans would bring the fixin’s for S’mores.

    • Longstreet63

      Don’t worry. They will just curl up in a corner and chant “Tax Cuts For the Rich” until they feel better.
      There will BE. NO. IMPEACHMENT.
      I’d be happy to be wrong, but that’s my prediction.

      • BMW

        2018 Congressional Midterms will be seen as a referendum on Impeachment.

        • Longstreet63

          Yes, hopefully.
          The real problem is that
          A) Republicans think of impeachment as apolitical tool to use on Democrats. They learned that. They will never use it on their own label.
          B) Should Democrats take enough control to get the process through, The Republicans with thenceforth impeach every single Democratic President as a matter of course, much as they learned to do with filibusters.

          • The Wanderer

            I told a coworker that if I ran for President and won, I would immediately appoint a special prosecutor to look into any impeachable offenses (just to piss off the party in opposition).

          • Longstreet63

            There’s no such thing as an impeachable offense. There’s only “pissed off a two-thirds majority of congress”.

          • Roadstergal

            The Republicans already used impeachment as a political tool on Bill Clinton. Obama was just too squeaky clean for them to drum something up, but since Benghazi worked so well – they now know that they don’t even need a pretense. Just make shit up.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        not until the deep six the social safety net, kill the ACA, push through their billionaire tax cuts and enact Christian Sharia law. Then they’ll suddenly care- right around 2018 when they need to hose the stink off themselves

        • Ducksworthy

          Yes. But this stink will stick.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I disagree.
        I think he’s going to forced out as an extreme risk to national security.
        Or, he resigns because, prezidentin is hard.

        • Longstreet63

          You really think McConnell and Ryan care about national security unless their own personal skins are in danger?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’m betting that the IC will do a bit of arm twisting to get their way if they deem him a risk.

    • miss_grundy

      Paul Ryan denied to a reporter that he put his political party before his country even though the reporter told him that he had. That brownoser deserves to be kicked in the cojones every hour on the hour….without votes.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Mattis Watching Trump from Brussels:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C4z322zVMAA6qq1.jpg

    • Jamoche

      Found while double-checking PowerPoint and the Challenger disaster (because Donnie “likes bullets” in his briefings):

      The New York Times quotes Marine Corps Gen. James N. Mattis: “PowerPoint makes us stupid.”

      http://www.zdnet.com/article/death-by-powerpoint/

  • Jamoche

    The NYTimes still doesn’t understand how it was part of the problem:
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/16/opinion/well-trump-watchers-things-could-be-worse.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0

    “The majority of American voters who didn’t support Donald Trump used to watch him on TV with a kind of cynical amusement as he bragged about fake election results and crowd sizes.”

    Cynical amusement? Try appalled horror.

    “Being stuck with a loony, unqualified president seemed less threatening when we were under the assumption that he’d be surrounded by at least some people who knew what they were doing.”

    No. No it didn’t. People who paid attention did not think he’d be surrounded by people who knew what they were doing because he has never done that. He’s surrounded himself with yes-men.

    This wasn’t the usual “oh, gosh, another incompetent Republican crony, batten down the hatches and ride it out again”, this was “omfuckinggod he’s going to run it like he ran his fucking casinos, only with nuclear access codes.”

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Yep.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      but…but…emails!

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        the worst!

    • Suttree

      They finally started to do their jobs again. Mostly because it sells papers. Fucking assholes.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and because the threat got personal…

      • miss_grundy

        Because the really smart ones do not want to have include that job on their resumes.

    • Longstreet63

      To be fair, as yet, he’s had a lot of trouble coming up with sufficient yes-men…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      They must keep some kind of walk-in freezer full of “people” of whom they ask “how did such-and-such affect you/make you feel/amuse you?” because I don’t know anyone living who was paying attention who thought or felt any of those things.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Right? That shit makes no sense. Is he trying to make it sound like the handful of Ted Cruz dead-enders and NeverTrumpers and other rando-bullshit-swallowers were “the majority of American voters who didn’t support Donald Trump,” or something?

        Because everyone else has their hair on fire that nothing good will come from this.

    • miss_grundy

      Those of us of a certain age who were born and raised in NYC and knew him by reading the tabloids or watching local news knew he was an asshole. We also knew that he wasn’t all that as a businessman due to all of the bankruptcies. But thanks to a television producer who made a lot of money from reality television and the idiots who watch said type of programming, we are now stuck with this shithead. So, thanks rubes for being suckers.

      • SayItWithOtters

        Don’t forget the endless parade of models and whores on the society pages. And the gross photo shoots with prepubescent Ivanka.

        • miss_grundy

          True. We were exposed to all of that garbage while living in the city, reading it in the newspapers and watching local news.

      • Ducksworthy

        Being nice to the rubes and deplorables will not make them smarter. The carcass of this mess will have to remain around their necks until it rots off or they won’t learn.

      • This. Every New Yorker knew he was a fraud. The fact that he lost New York ought to make him wake up screaming.

      • Rags

        I miss Spy magazine.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I had this in an earlier post, but from Rick Wilson:

      2/ Did you really think his island of misfit toys advisors was going to alter his fundamentals? Really?

    • Persistent Demme

      Fuckin’ Times!

  • Sheepshagger

    Nucleer hola corst. It’s bad. Bad. You know that. Hey let’s blow up that Russian ship.

  • Jenny

    I haven’t called Russia in years!

    Trump called Russia with the recorder off last week?! Good god. Fuck you America for this shit.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Eat your heart out, Rose Mary Woods.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Résistance Land Shark

    Is Levenworth only for military prisoners?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, yeah. Hard labor and all that.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        Damn. I guess he’ll have to serve in one of the Federal prisons. General population should be alright for Comey & Trump, right?

    • Sardonicuss

      Maybe this whole press conference was just to insure he ended up with a padded room?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Technically, Donald would be treated as an officer confined to Leavenworth. His hard labor would not be making little rocks out of big rocks, but shuffling paper or something similar. And he’d fuck that up.

        • artem1s

          it’s hard to shuffle paper with suck small fingers

    • Serai 1

      Well, he is the Commander-in-Chief, so technically…

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Yeah, and it’s closed on Passover.

      • Ducksworthy

        Obscure religio-culinary reference?

        • H0mer0

          Not so obscure since you splained it so you both get upfisted

  • OrdinaryJoe

    *45 has no idea what he is doing. You would think the campaign was still ongoing. Hillary this, press that…. Jeebuzz it is terrifying because, while he figured out how to make a campaign work by careening around the country out of control, he has not a first clue about how to actually govern.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    We’re gonna need a bigger wall:
    Catapult attached to border fence launched marijuana into Arizona

    http://tucson.com/news/local/border/catapult-attached-to-border-fence-launched-marijuana-into-arizona/article_77bbbae6-f30e-11e6-b807-1f71f250d8b7.html

    • The Wanderer

      I saw that on the BBC website and laughed. A lot.

    • Serai 1
      • Villago Delenda Est

        That is a professional at work. So unlike Donald…

        • Serai 1

          LOL I was referencing all of the weedsters hanging out near his wall just waiting for the packages to be tossed over.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • OrdinaryJoe
      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “Betsy DeVos.”

        “quelle?!”

        “Betsy DeVos!!”

        SPROIIING

    • Longstreet63

      Ah, human ingenuity.
      All they need to do, really, is bribe a border guard who has been hastily hired and poorly supervised as a result pf a promise to triple the ICE staff.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Don’t they know that stuff’s dangerous and can cause brain damage? If, you know, your head gets hit by it?

      • H0mer0

        “everytime I think about you, I want to cry…”

    • Hardly Ideal

      Huh, they attached it to the wall itself? I would’ve gone with a trebuchet towed behind a truck; those things are easy to make and surprisingly effective. But hey, to each their own.

    • eyelashviper

      I suggest spending a few federal dollars to build a really yuuuuge catapult on the US side, and sending tRump flying over it…let the Mexicans sort it all out.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Mexico might just pay for this.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      I say we need a bigger catapult.

  • Suttree

    I’m going to download and watch the first season of True Detective now. I need something to bring me back to reality.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I loved it! Would really like to watch the other seasons!

      • Suttree

        No you don’t. Season two was a terrible letdown. It may have been OK on it’s own, but it paled in comparison. Don’t bother. (from someone who watched the original season at least 20 times)

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Dammit! Now I have to watch it so I can be terribly disappointed and bitch about it!

          • Suttree

            I did it all by myself! At least you will have someone to bitch about it with. :)))))))))))) I love you guys!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I love you! Hope you and LT are having good weeks.

            I will come back and be like, you were right and I should have listened!

          • Suttree

            Hehe. Thank you darling, we are doing grossly adorable. When I think about you guys I do a little Snoopy dance! Whenever you get around to watching season 2, get back to me and we can have a bitch fest about how terrible it is. I’ll watch both seasons again!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I love to have someone to bitch about shows with, and none of my peeps watched it. You two take care of each other.

          • Suttree

            I foresee butt rubs tomorrow, and cooking a pot of deliciousness on Saturday. All hail Wonkette! Say hey to Jonny for me. :)

    • MynameisBlarney

      That was a totally mind blowing show.

    • Vincent Ricola

      The yellow (pee) king approves.

      • Suttree

        Hugs for you!

    • Thiazin Red

      Everything on that show was great, including the make up. That was seriously some of the best aging makeup I’ve ever seen.

      • Suttree

        I was in a weird place and really watched it way too much, but it was perfect.

  • Amelia

    Don’t mistake this for sympathy, but is anyone else imagining Sean Spicer curled into a ball under his desk and saying “noooooooo” over and over again?

    • Suttree

      Or putting on Groucho Marx glasses and trying to sneak out?

    • Jamoche
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      If “imagining” means “hoping”, yes.

    • TJ Barke

      He’s quietly sobbing in the bathroom right now…

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        A quiet phone call to Melissa McCarthy to take over for him.

    • Reximus
      • The Flaming Carrot

        Ew, butt-tweeting.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          That first one looks like a password. Not sure about the second one though.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Probably the passcode to the REAL basement kiddie sex-dungeon, because projection, these people, ad infinitumumumum all the way down.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Well….I’m not supposed to tell anyone; I’m a mole for the ministry of the fence. That’s the password to our safe house in Texas. We moved into the tunnels under the Walmart after the secret Obama army moved out. You all are invited…sssshhh. Just between us.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Uh-oh. Passwords to the Nuke-u-lar codes perhaps?

        • phoenix00

          Different from his normal?

    • Jennaratrix

      Yep. Makes me happy.

    • Ducksworthy

      Sadly,as Shawn is preparing to explain to you, this is all decent and normal so shut up.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    It was kind of mean of the American people (some of them at least) to expose a mentally ill elderly man to derision like this. For shame.

  • Bill D. Burger

    They’re YOUR people! YOU set it up. Don’t you people all know each other. I’m only the president….the least racist person in history.

    [Trump Asks African-American Reporter to Arrange Meeting with Congressional Black Caucus
    “Are they friends of yours? Set up the meeting!”

    During a chaotic and rambling press conference on Thursday, April Ryan, an African-American journalist with the American Urban Radio Networks, asked President Donald Trump if he would be arranging a meeting with the Congressional Black Caucus to discuss actions he might be taking to help inner cities.

    “Well I would,” Trump said. “Do you want to set up the meeting? Do you want to set up the meeting? Are they friends of yours? Set up the meeting!”]

    INAE OHFEB. 16, 2017 2:35 PM

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/02/trump-congressional-black-caucus-april-ryan

    • mackafritz

      “All you people know each other? Right?”

    • boyblue122

      Get your people in here and set up a meeting

      “im the least racist person”….um, ok

    • miss_grundy

      Just out of curiosity for a Latina friend, do all you Yanquis know each other?????

      • Longstreet63

        We do, but since we all look alike, it’s hard to be sure.

        • TakingAmes

          That’s funny. I was just in a room with Mayor 1% here in the center of American Carnage (TM), and was thinking about how many of the men in that room could pass for cabinet secretaries.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Surely the follow up is “How about next Tuesday, 3pm, are you free?”, because if by a miracle he says yes, you can say “See You Next Tuesday!”

    • NastyBossetti

      It’s like the first episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, except not funny.

    • Jukesgrrl

      He’s not only a racist — he’s also a sexist. He assumed, because she’s in the room and she’s a woman, that she handles any secretarial duties he requires.

      • Rickyphoo

        For more then one reason, (I wish she was still with us), I would have love to see him try that shit with Helen Thomas. He would have been on his hands and knees looking for his balls.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      She has to wait until they all come in from the cotton fields, stupid.

    • andyshelt

      And as well as being the least racist, he’s also the least anti-semitic!

      From the Guardian:
      …………………………………………………………………………………….

      Continuing his theme on the tone of the reporters, Trump accused a
      Jewish reporter of asking him a difficult question about recent instances of antisemitism in America, when, Trump claimed, he had promised to ask a “simple, easy” one.

      He angrily told the reporter to “sit down”, adding:
      “Number one, I am the least antisemitic person you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Number two, racism, the least racist person.”

      When the journalist tried to interject, Trump shouted over him: “Quiet, quiet, quiet. See, he lied that he was going to get up and ask a straight, simple question, so, you know, welcome to the world of the media.”

      Later, he insisted that antisemitic acts that have been reported were actually the work of anti-Trump activists. Again, he offered no evidence.
      …………………………………………………………………………………………

      https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/feb/16/trump-news-conference-recap-issues-breakdown

  • Sheepshagger

    Can someone call Elijah Cummings? I’m pretty sure trump isn’t ringing him every day. And I have a feeling the good representative won’t be shy about say

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Oh, Jake Tapper. You were doing so well…
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/832315892671377408

  • Sardonicuss

    Didn’t Nixon, in the end days, have a press conference where he basically shoved a press secretary or somebody back out onto the stage when the questions got tough?
    Yeah. This was worse than that.

  • Last Hussar

    Are you winning yet?

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      We’re tired of winning.

  • Reximus
    • H0mer0

      I like how the black dog jumps over the white sideways, I mean, that’s just sheer athleticism although I admire the fedex driver’s honorable attempts at controlling the vehicle. Did he lose a shoe in the process? This video is just too fucking funny, I can’t stop laugh-crying.

    • Once&futureFred

      Did that FedEx truck hit 88mph at the end there? Unpossible!

  • Shoto

    “Hillary Clinton shared a casserole recipe with Huma one time in 2011.”

    You mysteriously left out the recipe for risotto. Why is George Soros paying you to cover up these Clinton Crimez?

    • JailWardenCaptainHowdy

      It’s George’s favorite risotto, let it slide just this one time, please?

  • Sekhmet1

    I really don’t think I have anything more eloquent than “fuck this guy”. (Figuratively, of course, because otherwise – ew.)

    • whitroth

      No. I decided many years ago that the whole intent of cursing was to wish something painful, degrading, and awful on someone, not wish them something wonderful.

      Which is why I’d use unfuck ‘im, no fucks for him ever again.

      Or, better yet, go suck a dead, syphilitic Republican roach.

  • whitroth

    Did you see that Pelosi and the other senior Dem on the Sen. Intel committee have demanded a *full* briefing, INCLUDING unredacted documents by 28 Feb… and say, in public, that they’re afraid the Trumpolini campaign and officials might destroy the documents?

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Best remark seen on WaPo comments about the presser “At least Nero could fiddle”.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Fucking UNFORGIVABLE.

    This country is already hurting from this shitwhistle “President.” I wonder how deep the damage will go by the time all the dust settles?

    UNFORGIVABLE that Republicans sold their very nation down the river for one last grasp at power, before the demographics juggernaut erases the flimsy advantages given to them by gerrymandering and vote suppression.

    Fuck them. Unforgivable. I’m gonna NEVER FORGET all this shit, every fucking time until the end of fucking days. At best, you’ve lost the “coastal elites” for generations to come, you fucking assholes. At worst? Let’s say “You wouldn’t like us very much when we’re angry”

    • Weevie

      Don’t forget either that only 1/3 of the people vote and voting is how to prevent this again.
      (2/3 of eligible voters are registered and HALF of them vote!)

      • kareemachan

        [knocking my head against a wall]

    • ibwilliamsi

      Yeah, I’m getting into my late 50’s, and I hate that I’m probably not going to live long enough to see us dig ourselves out of this hell hole – if we ever do.

    • kareemachan

      And you look at Paul “Lyin” Ryan smirking and can’t think he’s a bunglecunt?

  • JailWardenCaptainHowdy
  • “THEY KNEW. FOR SURE. THAT TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN. WAS COMMUNICATING. WITH THE RUSSIANS.”

    Is this the info that caused House Dems to blow a gasket last month when they met with Comey?

    • LucindathePook

      I bet.

    • Edith Prickly

      Ya think?

    • ibwilliamsi

      Winner, winner! Chicken dinner!

    • phoenix00

      “But her e-mails!” – Comey

  • SadDemInTex

    In lieu of locking him up till eternity I will accept that he join Assange in the Embassy with the caveat that they have to fuck each other each and every day.

    • Nodrama4mama

      with chainsaws of votes?

      • JailWardenCaptainHowdy

        No, with the pizzle in the shizzle.

  • Jennaratrix

    I’m sorry, did the head of the FBI really say that they aren’t the truth police? THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION IS NOT THE TRUTH POLICE?

    I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what the FBI is. Jesus.

    • Weevie

      He’s in so deep, it’s impossible not to contradict himself anymore.

      • kareemachan

        I can only hope that he can’t pull himself out….

    • stubbornirishlass

      Much like it’s not Chuck Todd’s job to correct lies about Obamacare.

    • H0mer0

      then what-the-hell did Martha Stewart go to jail for?

  • MOG253

    Help! I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and I can’t get up.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Honestly, it’s probably safer there.

  • Edith Prickly

    He should set his anus on fire too. Putz.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I vote for All Of Him, Katie.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Recipes! Didn’t Hillary’s people leak recipes?? Haven’t we proven here on this mommy blog how subversive recipes are?!

  • azeyote

    i don’t know for sure, but it seems like the Clinton hit squad has turned into a bunch of welfare slackers –

    • kareemachan

      /s

      There, I fixed it for ya.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I just wonder how much he got. Any of the 19%? Who’s getting the .5% anyway? Him? Or is it dinner with Tom and Gisele?

    • Kooolest G

      From what I hear that’s a standard broker’s fee

  • Paperless Tiger

    We’ve gone from “when did he know” to “it’s not my job to tell when I know”. I think an investigation would be warranted. At this point it needs an independent investigation, because national security may be compromised. Worst of all, History will remember it as the Weiner Affair, and that’s unforgivable.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Comey is still an asshole. Flynn changed story to FBI, no charges expected. http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/16/politics/fbi-not-expected-to-pursue-charges-against-flynn/index.html

    • Weevie

      ” I don’t remember” doesn’t clear Flynn. Asking if he was sure he didn’t remember is the same as asking nothing. FBI has to get an answer some other way. They could ask the Russians.

      • Lefty Wright

        Or just get the CIA to give them transcripts of the conversation.

      • Lara

        They have their answer on tape. And they’re still not prosecuting. Trump says Flynn was doing his job by making deals with the Russians while he was a civilian, and that if Flynn hand’t done it, Trump would have made him do it. He won’t be in any trouble.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Ahh yes…the ol’ “I don’t remember, I can’t recall” GOP response. I remember this from Ronnie’s testimony during the Iran-Contra thing.

      • “My mind is not a tape recorder,” John Dean in his testimony before the Watergate Commission. The parallels between the non-productive malignant narcissistic Ol’ Pussy Grabber administration and the paranoid Tricky Dick administration both trivial and meaningful are nearly overwhelming. It will end the same way only more spectacular because the Ol’ Pussy Grabber always has to the moistest at everything even if it is the worst.

      • ibwilliamsi

        Ronnie was taking a nap, wasn’t he? This time, Donnie is taking a crap – all over us.

      • Chris

        At least in Reagan’s case there is medical evidence that he probably couldn’t remember – the Alzheimer’s thing. That doesn’t make it less scary, to my my way of thinking it makes it worse.

    • Gregory Brown

      They have him on goddam tape!

      • kareemachan

        IOKIYAR…. remember?

  • TootsStansbury

    James Comey sets his dick on fire and fucks Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions III right in his goddamn ear. Pay per view.

    • freakishlypersistent

      It’s worse. It’s actually “Jefferson”..

  • andyshelt
    • HazooToo

      Stoled.

    • zerosumgame0005

      so who here remembers actually seeing that used on actual TV’s?, not the words, the screen itself?

      • javadavis

        I do. Not that particular logo, though. Behind the words logo.
        Ah, the halcyon days when news was spoke and then on to other things to support speaking the news.

        • zerosumgame0005

          exactly

  • mary5920

    Comey was supposedly the only good one in the Bush administration. If he’s there mostly honest guy, what does that really say? He’s pretty pretty pretty bad but not as bad as some of the others. No, wait. He’s just as bad.

    • kareemachan

      One of the few things I hold against Obama is him not firing comy’s ass.

  • SighSperling

    The NYC FBI office needs to be bulldozed with all occupants present.

  • This is enough to get me to start believing that a conspiracy existed in the FBI involving Director Comey to subvert Clinton’s election. The best spin on that is that it was a coincidence that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s campaign was arse deep in Russian collusion. But, jeez, does anyone else think that if these pricks get pricked just a bit, the whole thing will come unraveled and dump the bile filled mess right into our laps.

    Come on Pence, resign. Try and salvage what little dignity and hope of a post Pussy Grabber career you might have left. Don’t believe that you’ll be able to be president after the Ol’ Pussy Grabber is impeached, imploded, or resigned.

    • Aniline

      Not a coincidence. January 13, Maxine Waters criticizes Comey. January 14, Russian state media starts a bullshit racist smear campaign against her. Living in Russia, I hadn’t even heard her name, and now she’s all over state tv with talking heads spending valuable Putin-butt-licking airtime on “lol that n****r chick is sure r******d”. Her specifically, out of 435 reps. Coincidence my ass.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Holy shit… seriously? I mean… seriously???

    • kareemachan

      Pence has no dignity. Period.

      • Given the laws he helped enact in Indiana, you’re right, he doesn’t. He doesn’t have a career left, either.

    • Lara

      Someone is gonna spill on the others at some point.

      • I’m less interested in their sex games and more interested in one of them turning whistle blower, but to each his own, I suppose. (Um… that’s snark, Lara, nothing personal, it is just hard to resist the set up.)

  • Shirleyareichert

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !di196c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !di196c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs485DirectPowerGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!di196c:….,……

    • bluicebank

      Goddamn commie. That link does not direct to teh Google. Plus, I already know that the Goog only pays in cents.

  • bluicebank

    I’ll bet that morale is flying high at FBI.

    Or, at least would be, if those CIA fucks weren’t snarking the shit out of their NY bureau. That and the NSA telling them the comsats are down because science no longer exists.

  • davej1s

    I think today is a fine day for Mr. Comey to set fire to “little Jamie”.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      EVERY day is a fine day for Mr. Comey to do that.

  • Zyxomma

    Bad enough that Comey violated the Hatch Act. Flynn violated the Logan Act. IOKIYAR?

  • kareemachan

    Are the drumpster trollettes here yet? Cuz they glommed onto other articles like a… glommer yesterday. And did anybody else have a hurt head from the drumpter’s “conference”?

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