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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    Joe Biden is going Hollywood, signs with new agent.
    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/830046157426536448

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Excellent way of enforcing wonket no-pants-policy.
      Amirite, ladies?

      • Vicki Lawrence Wig

        some of us fellas support this message, also, too

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      How will working for the Canadian Automobile Association help?

  • Nounverb911
  • guppy06

    Tom Price will be your new Health and Human Services secretary,

    It’s a cookbook!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      First act, remove “Health” from the name.
      Second, remove “Human”
      Third, “Services”.

      New department will be called Ministry of Truth.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I’m pretty sure he just plans to run a brokerage firm out of HHS. It’ll save him a ton on fees.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The House passed a bill to allow firing squads…

    It’s called Stand Your Ground.

    • I see what you did there….

    • OneYieldRegular

      Ooo. Rough joke.

    • onedollarjuana

      Probably more humane than injection, based on recent horror stories. How about beheading? Fast, and much less messy than firing squads.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The only thing that would’ve made the Chaffetz story better is if they had tarred and feathered the motherfucker.

    • *(with votes)

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      That would have kilt him most likely.

      Hot tar is no joke.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Neither is leaving people to die without healthcare.

        • msanthropesmr

          They can get it! Just go to the emergency room.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Are there no prisons? The workhouses….

          • msanthropesmr

            No free health care there.

        • Or poisoning the water table

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Duh! The feathers are the joke.

    • msanthropesmr

      I always think of that scene in O Brother Where Art Thou….

    • Fartknocker

      Only after 1 salvo of glitter bombs.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    And now we know the rest of the story. Apparently Morning Joe didn’t mention the part about the malignant incompetence.

    https://twitter.com/thinkprogress/status/830061515122343937

    • Scarborough, at this point, runs his show like a “Dear Abby” column.

      • msanthropesmr

        Dear Abby: my president is a moron. How do I keep it from the kids?

        • Show them. Show them everyday. And tell them if they grow up even partly like that, you’ll beat and disown them

        • More like,

          “Dear Joe & Mika, how do I make them love, not hate, I can always do a good – never a bad? Smart. Really smart.”

          “Sincerely,”

          “-Big D in the Swamp”

        • Alexander Stallwitz

          “Oh, why did we break up with Barry?, he was so nice and stable. Why did we choose the bad boy!”

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Dear Concerned Parent,

          You probably have already realized, kids are super dumb. It’s not that hard to convince them you live in Canada. Here’s hoping you only have to keep it going for four years.

          Abby

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’s embarrassing even for him. and, Wittes is pissed.

        https://twitter.com/benjaminwittes/status/830046040644526081

        • puredog

          As well he might be. But it is interesting that the Ninth did not mention the statute.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Maybe they figured that the ban was so bad on its face that they didn’t need to address possible ways it could have been legal?

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Dear Joe,

        I hear the president has a thing for 13-year-old girls. My daughter is going to be 13 next month. How do I keep her safe?

      • onedollarjuana

        Wait, Scarborough has a twin brother?

    • BadKitty904

      Trump tweet illustrates the danger.” Fixed.

    • puredog

      Yeah, that was kind of a breathtaking characterization, and it was especially sweet that it appeared in a blog that Trump relied on to support his actions.

    • Occam’s 8 ball

      ‘incompetent malevolence! get it right, or leave it alone.’ My favorite minor James Brown hit, by the way.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Hooray for sanity/logic/reason on the court’s behalf. However…”SEE YOU IN COURT”? Who the fuck talks like this? Actors, lawyers, people who were seriously wronged/injured. Not “Presidents”. This shit show will not end well.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Anthropomorphic KITTENS VS PUPPIES sportsball! It’s a battle to the…something! OMG!

    …most of whom have announced their plans not to attend the White House celebration, especially the pussycats, who are afraid of being grabbed by 45.

    • cmd resistor

      I bet the snacks will be crappy as well, based on Trump’s Super Bowl party.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    So, when will Chaffetz launch an investigation on Flynn? Can we expect something coming next week?

    • dslindc

      LOL! You’re funny.

    • Apple Scruff

      Nah, bruh. He clearly doesn’t want to get reelected. Why would he do that?

      • dslindc

        It will be interesting to see how the next year pans out for him. He might try to run for Hatch’s Senate seat or Governor in 2018, but if he keeps up like he is now, I don’t think a statewide race would be successful, even in Utah.

        • Apple Scruff

          These arrogant congress people think they’re so safe. There are more of us than there are of them and I know plenty of us plan on crossing state lines (to donate, to volunteer) to see especially malignant people like Chaffetz never work in the government again. I live on the east coast but what he does affects my life too and I already plan on working to get him out of office.

    • ariel_gee_398

      He claims his schedule is just too full. Taxpayer money isn’t going to waste itself.

      https://www.instagram.com/p/BPf-rD3FeEJ/

    • chicken thief

      He could start with censoring Kellyanne for her Ivanka line promotion. That’s pretty low hanging fruit.

    • Windyish

      Silly wabbit investigations are only for Democrats;-D

  • Nounverb911

    SNL is filling up it’s cabinet too.
    https://twitter.com/NYMag/status/829907282091712512

    • Apple Scruff

      I love how all of these stars are dying to get some of that sweet sweet SNL action. Looking forward to the show tomorrow night!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Isn’t that going to make it harder for her husband to convince Trump to ban vaccines?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Yes, this. She is awesome!

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
      • Claire

        Good start, but not entirely feeling it. In order to reach that plane of evil and ugly she’ll have to plant fungus on her face and then arrange to get dragged behind a truck.

    • Jgb979

      There’s a reason SNL ratings are at a 22 year peak …

      (Almost an apples an oranges comparison too: in 1994 there were about 40 cable channels, 0 streaming, only the bare bones baby internet)

    • puredog

      I dunno, I thought Kate McKinnon’s turn as DeVos would be tough to surpass.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The high school student Little Babby Donnie sent to argue with the 9th Circuit Court was not bad enough to prevail. DON’T WORRY! Devos will fix that.

  • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

    To clarify, that execution bill was passed in Mississippi, and kicks in if their other nasty execution methods are found unconstitutional. Oklahoma passed a similar bill in November. Because us pro-life states will not be stopped from legally killing people, thank ewe very much.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I remember hearing once that all “innovations” in how to execute come from people who are pro-death penalty (and just want to make it more palatable to the general public).

      People opposed to the death penalty just want to end it, period.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      From the article:

      Rep. Chris Bell, D-Jackson, asked Gipson, who is a Baptist minister, what the Bible says about grace and mercy and whether he believes in grace and mercy.

      “I’m a big believer in mercy and grace,” Gipson said. “Unfortunately, the death penalty is necessary for those who commit atrocious crimes.”

      Cognitive dissonance? Hypocrisy? AOT, K?

      • chicken thief

        Brizdull must have learned her abstinence degree from the same school of critical thinking as Gipson.

      • OneYieldRegular

        So why doesn’t Mississippi just go ahead and legalize crucifixion?

    • will clarify!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        You’ll never break into the big time at Fox with that attitude, kid.
        :-)

        • True Story: I do transcription work on the side as a contractor for the LoC, think tanks and broadcast cable news. Two people accidentally carried on a conversation implicating themselves in a thing on a hot mic, so I wrote it in the transcript because that’s literally my job. A terrified producer at FNC got as far as my immediate supervisor demanding my personal contact info (which is kind of illegal). I found their contact info on LinkedIn and ghost-emailed the producer a copy of my contract with my name scrubbed, and highlighted every instance of “verbatim” and “transcript”. My supervisor thought it was funny as hell.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump’s nominees were never put to the “Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll,” test which is (not as cool as it sounds)

    Political staffers keep trying to make this process sound cool, because it’s for something called “the Cabinet” which sounds like the place your grandma keeps her Humboldt figurines.

    • msanthropesmr

      This cabinet is actually whiter.

      • BadKitty904

        And even less useful.

        • puredog

          And gathers more dust. Trump’s Tchotchkes.

  • BadKitty904

    Well, Friday, at last. Here we are, having survived another week of the “President’s” and
    Congress’ attempts to destroy our nation.

    Here’s a lil’ Friday bonbon to remind us all of why our America is so profoundly and weirdly wonderful, worthy of love and worth defending…

    Take On Me – a-ha – Brooklyn Duo at Carnegie Hall
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHbLuIxw3y4&feature=youtu.be

    • OneYieldRegular

      Now that I would not mind listening to in an elevator or dentist’s office.

      • BadKitty904

        I was kinda shocked by how lovely it was!

  • Nounverb911
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    In his formal statement on the decision to withdraw, Cooper added: “After witnessing the treatment that my friend Jeff Sessions, a decent and honorable man who bears only good will and good cheer to everyone he meets, had to endure at the hands of a partisan opposition that will say anything and do anything to advance their political interests, I am unwilling to subject myself, my family, and my friends to such a process.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/879ad7a8740a581779bbf5c468d9e03f156545e8a98679376c481523f387f5bc.gif

    • Apple Scruff

      Riiiight… it’s the mean old Democrats that are the problem.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Must have been a few bodies in that closet of his.

      • mancityRed6

        and the crawl space.
        oh, wait…that’s me

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          You don’t regularly perform as a clown also, do you?

          • mancityRed6

            no, I mean… not anymore

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        That was my first thought.
        ‘Oh, shit, what if they find out about…’

    • Carpe Vagenda

      iow Nobody told me you weren’t allowed to say n….

    • mancityRed6

      such a delicate little snowflake.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “Jeff Sessions, a decent and honorable man who bears only good will and good cheer to everyone he meets,”
      Sure….if they’re white xtain racist fucktards.

    • Jgb979

      😴❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

      If he’s such a delicate snowflake that his record can’t hold up to public scrutiny then maybe he shouldn’t be applying for public office

      • RC

        thought it would be a skate and the fix was in, although he could be another idiot who doesn’t know how government works.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Translation: “I’ve got a dead hooker hidden under the floorboards of my house. My wife doesn’t know.”

    • BadKitty904

      I.e., “The GOP/Putin won’t meet my price.”

    • ariel_gee_398

      He bears only “good will and good cheer” to everyone? He’s not fucking Santa Claus.

      • cmd resistor

        Yeah, I thought he was just an elf.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Sessions is to elves as the Leprechaun is to leprechauns.

          • BadKitty904

            Per some, the clurichaun is the “evil” form of the leprechaun. And yes, SeSessions would certainly qualify.

        • guppy06
          • LucindathePook

            Hubs and I always called him Dondi, as he looked just like that cartoon character when he first started out.

    • Marceline

      Translation: “This shit ain’t worth it.”

    • guppy06

      Jeff Sessions, a decent and honorable man who bears only good will and good cheer to everyone he meets

      So if every blah person in America would just be the man’s token friend, everything would be fine!

      • AnniNoone

        But not toking friend! Sessions got no good will and cheer for stoners, you know. Lynch someone, that’s cool, just don’t smoke a bowl after.

    • DQKennard

      Cooper is just as “decent and honorable” in the same ways as Sessions — which is to say that Cooper doesn’t belong in government any more than Sessions does.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Go tell it to Barack Obama, f*cker.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Make Schadenfreude Great Again.

    Mission Accomplished!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I’d like to buy them a drink.

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    Does anyone else feel like the tide of battle is slowly turning in our favour?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s a long way to 2018.

      • Naytch

        We can hum that to the tune of “It’s a Long Way to Tipperary” as we pester our politicians!

    • Apple Scruff

      YEP! And it’s only been 20 days. Though, to be fair, feels like 20 years.

    • BadKitty904

      If so, it means we need to push even harder.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        heh heh

        • BadKitty904

          Outta the gutter, you!

          • wide_stance_hubby

            No.

            Happy Friday!

          • BadKitty904

            lol And to you and your big ol’ honeybun!

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Dit-fucking-to

    • wide_stance_hubby

      The intensity and level of dissent is unmatched in my lifetime.

    • NastyBossetti

      I don’t yet. We are only 3 weeks into this presidency, and it feels like it’s been years. I’m very worried that people are going to burn out and give up.

      • Persistent Demme

        It’s Ok, cause every G.D. morning there’s a fresh hell!
        This is motivational!

    • BadKitty904

      The only thing that can stop We the People is complacency.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Oh, definitely. It isn’t time for victory laps until one of those ‘government of/by/for the people’ is in place. But a few wins can be VERY heartening. cf the Allies pushing Germany and Italy out of North Africa.

    • Edith Prickly

      Yes. I expected the Trump White House to be a morass of backstabbing and incompetence, and the worst offenders are already burning out from the pressure. They can’t keep this up forever.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        It has been my belief all along that they would do themselves in, as they do. It just sucks ass that they fuck so much shit up before they slither away.

    • laughingnome

      I’ve never been very active in progressive politics until Trump. Now I’m connected to three different local groups. So if I’m a barometer of the changes in motivation levels, I think things are turning. But persistence is the key.

      • mardam422

        Nevertheless, WE persisted.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Good for you! I think you are one of millions who are joining the resistance and staying active. It’s easier where there are already local progressive movements in place, but I think the key in 2018 (sooner, please be sooner!!!) will be to reach into the red districts and persuade HARD…

      • Persistent Demme

        Lawyer-daughter knows a lot of people like you.
        Keep on persisting!

    • shaar dula

      quit the thought right NOW. don’t jinx it. miles to go still.

    • Marceline

      We’ve had some victories and we should enjoy them but at best this week was just a case of holding the line.

      • Chyron HR

        Nonetheless, we have to hold the line, for Rosanna in Africa and all us boys, too.

    • cmd resistor

      Not yet, but it was certainly nice to get a victory.

    • AnniNoone

      I feel like reading the news this week isn’t staring into the abyss. We still have the better part of four years of fighting ahead, though.

  • dslindc
    • Hardly Ideal

      I think I read it in something calling itself the Snowflake Manifesto, but the thing about snowflakes is that you get an avalanche if you put enough in one spot.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    A slim majority of Trump voters purport to believe that the Bowling Green Massacre justifies the muslim ban.

    https://twitter.com/ActorAaronBooth/status/830059530289545216

    • NastyBossetti

      Of course! The thing that surprises me is how many people are “not sure.”

      • Me not sure

        You mean I’m not the only one?

        • NastyBossetti

          You contain multitudes.

          • Me not sure

            Will anti-biotics help?

      • Jamoche

        Any other year I’d tag them as the ones who don’t watch news and are being honest about it, but why the fuck are they not watching news?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Odds that the Venn diagram of Trump voters who believe Bowling Green Massacre happened and Sandy Hook didn’t is one circle?

    • BadKitty904

      You may as well poll a shelf of canned soup.

      • ariel_gee_398

        10 out of 10 Ted Cruzes agree.

      • AJ Milne

        Canned soup libels.

        • Bad Tom

          I keep looking at the shelf, but all I see are labels.

          • AJ Milne

            Apologies. It’s this bloody Austrahlian keyboard.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • Me not sure
      • guppy06

        Yet he’s apparently committed enough to own his own bowling shoes(?).

        • Me not sure

          Oil money.

      • therblig

        Death to the 7-10 Split!!”

      • Bad Tom

        Wait.
        His robe has a front pocket. And there are ball point pens in it.
        He’s a programmer, right?

        • Me not sure

          “How do you do it, Holmes?”

    • nightmoth

      Oh, FFS!!!!!

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Songs for the Damnut Era

    https://youtu.be/En1BApnx3Co

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Is it true that Trump is thinking about creating a new cabinet position, and this guy on the table will be his new Secretary of Fire?

    https://cdn.arstechnica.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/ArsFrankenstein.jpg

  • Tallmutha

    Those kittens woulda kicked all the ass.

  • mardam422

    I love the idea of a Trump Cabinet resignation/indictment pool. I’ve got Price, indicted, October 2017.

    • guppy06

      “Resigdictment!” It’ll be the new “spending more time with someone else’s family!”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    All to hail Glorious Leader and new regime for returning of greatness of beloved motherland.

    • eggsacklywright

      March into future with glory and shining.

  • Shan McStroppyPants

    Every day should start with a video of McConnel getting a “bap” even if it IS doctored.

  • Alan

    Just an aside. From Public Policy Polling:

    -Voters are concerned by the implications of Trump’s fight with the Judiciary.
    53% of voters say they trust Judges more to make the right decisions
    for the United States, to only 38% who trust Trump more. And only 25% of
    voters think Trump should be able to overturn decisions by Judges that
    he disagrees with, to 64% who don’t think he should be able to do that.
    Trump voters have evidently had enough of the Constitution and those
    pesky checks and balances though- 51% of them think he should personally
    be able to overturn decisions he doesn’t agree with, to only 33% who
    dissent.

    So half of half of the country is just plain nuts.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    One of the Puppy Bowl contestants was a Dachshund/Pitbull mix. Awkward.

    • Persistent Demme

      My uncle had a Collie/Dachshund mix.
      Also awkward.
      Think big fluffy coat on short legs.
      (Sounds like someone got into the backyard!)

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Just looking at the bastard’s hair in the header pic, and it occurred to me that it looks like cotton candy made with piss.

    • cmd resistor

      His hair is the absolute worst, in all its incarnations.

  • BadKitty904

    I suspect Sniffles&Co. are going to be spending a LOT of time in court, unless Putin/Bannon/the GOP Congress can break the judiciary and/or pack the SCOTUS asap.

  • Me not sure

    Since drawing and quartering involves fractions, we can be pretty sure that Mississippi won’t be resorting to that.

    • Long division is what they call the distance between two suburbs.

      • Me not sure

        FAKE MATH! SAD!

      • guppy06

        Particularly if one suburb is white and the other is less-than-white?

        • therblig

          the tan suburbs are full of sin. why? cos’

          • fishslappingdancer

            Damnit, learn to integrate.

      • Me not sure

        FAKE MATH!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Not to mention that they’ve slashed the budget for the arts.

    • Nockular cavity

      They mastered that 3/5 part real good.

  • BadKitty904

    And, as always, thank you, Dominic, for your lovely morning-agendas. These summaries are very helpful in allowing all of us to keep track of new and ongoing Republican bullshittery.

    • Duke

      I like a little Dominic in the morning.

      • BadKitty904

        Hubba-hubba!

    • Persistent Demme

      And thanks for the kittens and puppies!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • guppy06

      As opposed to all the tame and mild rage-tweets? Or to the PM rage-tweets?

      • Bad Tom

        Trump’s knob is always set to 11.
        ——-
        I apologize for any inadvertent sexual associations brought to mind by the word “knob”. Damn! I did it again. Sorry.

        • SweetDeeKat

          “Dial.” “DIAL”. Gotta clear my mind and find some real porn now.

          • Bad Tom

            But then I couldn’t apologize.
            ——-
            My evil plan has worked! Bwahahahaha.

    • chicken thief

      Still not as bad as Spicer being portrayed by a vagina having person! SEE YOU IN COURT, SNL!!1!!!!

    • cmd resistor

      This must not have been on TV as he hasn’t tweeted on it yet.

    • TakingAmes

      Gah! The cognitive dissonance of hating David Frum’s guts ten years ago when he worked for W and really enjoying his writing now is getting to me.

  • SterWonk

    ‘The [Mississippi state] House passed a bill that could lead to the death penalty being carried out by nitrogen gas, firing squad or electrocution.’

    Actually, nitrogen is not a bad way to go. It’s probably the cleanest, least painful, most reliable, most humane of the options; that’s why it’s a popular mechanism of suicide.

    That, cf course, ignores the minor issue that the state shouldn’t be executing people at all.

    • therblig

      does it hurt more when they dip you in, or when they shatter you on the table?

      • Bad Tom

        The dip.

        That’s when they all screamed on the X Files episode about the jet turbine and the dude’s brain in a cryostat.

      • SterWonk

        <rimshot>

        In all seriousness: pure gaseous nitrogen is of very similar density and viscosity compared to normal air, so it doesn’t feel any different to breathe it. The painful feeling of suffocation is not due to lack of oxygen, but rather buildup of carbon dioxide. So, breathing pure nitrogen feels the same as breathing normal air, gets rid of the CO2 so there’s no feeling of suffocation, and doesn’t provide oxygen, so you quickly pass out and die. Like I said, not a bad way to go.

  • OneYieldRegular

    So are Vegas casinos really taking bets on the first cabinet secretary to fall? And if not, why not?

    • Alan

      I think Ladbrokes is.

  • DQKennard

    There are resources that could help The Donald.

    US Presidency for Dummies
    How Washington Actually Works for Dummies
    Politics for Dummies
    US Constitution for Dummies
    American Presidency for Beginners
    The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the American Presidency

    etc.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I was thinking we could all chip in and buy up ad time on CNN to air bits of the Schoolhouse Rock videos about American government.

      • RC

        hahaha snort hahahaha

      • chortlingdingo

        I still remember the preamble to the Constitution, but I have to sing it. I also always loved the one about how a bill gets passed (“I’m just a bill”) and the conjunction junction song.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        YAY! I’m for the other team.

    • therblig

      Hemlock Society pamphlets, also too

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender
    • Alexander Stallwitz

      We need to make a law demanding the president take a American Government College Class. Clearly you can get elected knowing zero about the Constituion

  • Amelia

    I may get a Twitter just to follow Public Policy Polling (@ppppolls). The sass!

    “Black History Month has a 45/35 favorability rating with Trump voters. Lots of economic anxiety in that 35%”

    “Trump is not alone in his Frederick Douglass confusion. Only 47% of Trump voters know Douglass is dead. 78% of Clinton voters know that”

    “By 51/23 margin, Trump voters say the Bowling Green Massacre shows why his Executive Order on immigration is needed”

    “Trump voters not down w/ checks and balances though- 51/33 they think Trump should be able to reverse court decisions he doesn’t agree with”

    • chicken thief

      “…51/33 they think Trump should be able to reverse court decisions he doesn’t agree with”

      If only they loved the Constitution more….

      • Nockular cavity

        Dont u knoe? Obummmer burnt the Constititushun.

    • Marceline

      Bless them. They are showing us the level of ignorance we are up against.

    • Bebecca

      and 100% of Trump voters get all their news from Faux News. Seriously, I think that is a large contributor to why we lost. Faux was anti-Hillary and preaching about the evil Democrats all the time and that’s all they know.

      • nightmoth

        It’s a yuuuge reason. Faux News is fascist no-news circus entertainment for the ignorant and the insular.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I get into debates with my relatives that devolve into “Fox is unbiased, the rest of the media has a left wing bias, durr durr” i walk away at this point

    • Bad Tom

      We gather data on favorability ratings about months themselves?

      April has terrible favorability, so we are writing an EO to remove April from the calendar altogether.
      ——-
      I cannot wait to hear the favorability rating for Gay Pride month.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I can’t to see how much FLAIR the LBGT March on Washington has in June! You just know that there will be extra pearl clutching when that occurs. If they were offended by “pussy hats” from the Women in January, and Nerds/Geeks are doing “brain hats” for the Science/Environment march in April, I can only imagine what the LBGT community will make their signature “look” for June!?!

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Weak. I like presidents who win.

    • RC

      this should be repeated on twitter over and over and over. Drive the shit head crazy. although a nice “sad” at the end would bring it home nicely.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        It’s really hard to write this simplistically!

        I do believe it was Michael Moore who said this may the first president who could be taken out by humor. There is nothing to do but love that.

        • RC

          Simple declarative sentences. Isn’t that how they teach 4th graders to write?

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Fourth grade? Write? What a snob.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or a twitter campaign of pictures of the cover of a US passport and #WereJustNotThatIntoYou?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        President Bannon! Call President Bannon!

        • RC

          another good one. How about a picture of a women wearing a burka (so the assholes can’t retaliate) and the caption is “we’re here to stay”

  • OneYieldRegular

    “the source leaking his phone conversations”

    Oh come now, you just know we’re going to find out he’s using an unsecured phone line or does all his calls while his spawn are on speaker phone out in public.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      FBI Finds Second String Tied to President’s Dixie Cup

    • By law you need to keep logs of who/what comes in and out of the political offices, and that this includes phone calls. Nixon liked to record everything, and there’s reports that Trump does too…

      • Truthiness2U

        Though they turned that pesky recorder off when he talked to Putin. Which is so weird! Why possibly would shit-gibbon do that? Hmmmmm.

  • RC

    I wonder if Javanka look at Trump and think “what the fuck have we done?”‘ Maybe there isn’t that much introspection with those two but surely there is someone in the WH that drove this bus that now thinks it might not have been such a smart idea now that it’s come to fruition.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think they look around and think, “Are we still rich?” As long as the answer is yes, they don’t give a fuck. As for the rest, I think they’re happier than they let on. Sure, his personality is a constant distraction, but they think that distraction gives them cover for implementing their truly awful, really unpopular ideas while everyone is consumed by the spectacle.

      • RC

        Sadly you’re probably right. I try to give people more credit for humanity then the deserve.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I try to, too, when there’s no reason not to. But nothing that Donnie has done thus far has surprised me, so I don’t think it could have surprised them very much either. Given that, their failure to step in before this came to pass is all the proof I need to judge them.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It can’t be emphasized enough what a truly terrible person Jared’s dad, who raised him as a mini-me, is. This is nothing new for him.

      • Marceline

        Exactly. The damage in this family goes deep. There’s no secret well of decency because there’s never been anyone there to teach it. The only one who might not be a complete waste is Tiffany and that only because Marla kept her away from Dampnuts. Sadly that probably makes her crave his love even more.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He did not look pleased when she edged him out of her personal space at the debate.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          “Sadly that probably makes her crave his love even more” is a projection. She probably wanted his recognition but is now relieved that she doesn’t have to be involved. Like Melania sheltering Barron. Barron and Tiffany are the lucky ones.

      • RC

        Interesting. So that’s the guy Chris Christie put in jail. Really sounds like a peach. I particularly like the nice touch where he sends a tape to his own sister of her husband screwing a working girl. Must be fun at family dinners. I pulled up a pic. Not a bad looking guy and he’s apparently still with us. Wonder how often he and Donnie cross paths. He sounds like the kind of guy who wouldn’t mind having the ear of the POTUS.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He held at least one fundraiser at his house on the Shore.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      I think everyone in the inner circle is unprepared and surprised. Remember, he wasn’t supposed to win, just increase value of the brand.

      • RC

        The only good thing about this is, the way things are going the “Brand” will be a smoking pile of shit.

  • chicken thief

    “Kushner’s back-channel communications with Mexico — the full extent of
    which has not been previously reported — reveal him to be almost a
    shadow secretary of state, operating outside the boundaries of the State
    Department or National Security Council.”

    Which is necessary since SoS Tillerson will be spending all his time in the Kremlin working on oil deals.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      yeah, funny how that works. Our brand new SoS seems too busy to do his job

  • The Librarian

    I don’t know how SMRT Chuck Cooper is, but it was wise to disembark from Trump’s train before it completely derails.

    • Chadwells

      Cooper is a horrible racist crony of Sessions….regardless of why…just be glad he’s gone!!!

      • ariel_gee_398

        Plus, the closer to the bottom of the barrel they get in finding a Solicitor General, the less effective the administration’s oral arguments in important cases are likely to be.

        • puredog

          Unfortunately, it’s a very large barrel.

  • AnniNoone

    That pic of Rosie as Bannon is still way too attractive. She needs a blotchy, greasy complexion and eyes that are simultaneously evil and hung over.

    • puredog

      Needs to pull her lips together, too.

    • Crank Tango

      Exactly. They couldn’t carve her a nose out of cauliflower?

      • Bad Tom

        They still have over 24 hours to the next SNL.

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      and at least two gin blossom splotches, also too as well.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      A friend on FB commented “she shouldn’t have shaved”.

    • Yr. Gma

      I think it’s a photoshop. The real (haha) thing will be better, I’m sure.

  • calliecallie

    “Being president is harder than Donald Trump thought, according to aides and allies who say that he’s growing increasingly frustrated with the challenges of running the massive federal bureaucracy.”
    Gee, never saw that coming.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    So Taiwan got thrown under the rice truck by *trump! Sad. Two faced. Weak.

  • StlSaxist

    “We’ll see you in court!” (or rather “WE’LL SEE YOU IN COURT!!!1!1!”) is a threat. When this threat is made to the court (or “COURT!!!1!1!”) it’s just, well, kind of vapid and silly. Sad!

    • Crystalclear12

      I can just imagine the judges saying:
      Well, yeah, where else would we be, dumbass?

      • cmd resistor

        CNN has this vague story up on its site about how “some” of the “travel ban judges” have gotten extra security after some undescribed threats. I haven’t been able to find anything else except another story citing the CNN story.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Another leak! And to CNN, who Trump hates specifically.

      • Bebecca

        and the governor of Washington last night said something like-ummm, we just saw you in court and YOU LOST.

  • Crystalclear12

    Who gets imprisoned or steps down first?
    I’m spoiled for choice.

  • nightmoth

    Looks like I missed quite the little pustule troll rash earlier today on the Liz Warren story. Thanks for the banhammer, Dok. Regular news headlines upset me enough without coming here next and hearing screaming meanies.

    • Hardly Ideal

      It’s always kind of funny finding threads where the troll has already been banned. I have to try and figure out what happened based solely on the broken glass and scorch marks.

    • Actually, NPR has pretty consistently been saying ‘no facts to back that up’.

      Too bad they didn’t say that last year.

    • Yr. Gma

      Do you know how to block the trolls? (Little down arrow to the right of post.) I do that as soon as I see them. I know some people think it’s fun to play with them, but it only encourages them to go back to the swamp to tell their friends to come join them.

      • nightmoth

        Some nice wonkers instructed me on that a couple of months ago. First I flag them for Dok, then I block them for me. At least, I think I’m doing that correctly according to instruction! Last night I had a particularly filthy troll, so I responded to it nastily X 10, before flagging & blocking.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    “No one told me this was gonna be hard!”
    Poor Donnie…

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/donald-trump-challenges-governing-presidency-234879

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Actually, we ALL tried to warn both him and his idjit base that running the government was nothing like running a business, but those clueless fucks were too busy screaming ‘lock her up’ and sucker punching blah people to bother listening.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Donnie doesn’t listen to liebruls. That explains much about Donnie in itself.

      • nightmoth

        We also warned the Trumpanzees that he hadn’t even run his business well, having declared bankruptcy thrice in order to skip out on paying his contractors, but that just made their jaws go slack with disbelief.

        • Hardly Ideal

          I still can’t believe he managed to bankrupt casinos. I thought that was physically impossible, like traveling faster than light or folding a fitted sheet.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            That is a special “skill”.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Said Melania.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Ongoing leaks from the White House? Are the Russian pee hookers staying there while Melania is in New York?

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    A powerful video from Keith Olbermann about how Trumpy cares more about profits than animal warfare https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzWppkh4JJY

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Dayum, I may have to make my own dog food also too?

  • Bill Slider

    Trump’s recognition of the One China policy will not advance Bob Dole’s quest to become Ambassador toTiawan.

    • phoenix00

      Bob Dole will somehow not advance Bob Dole’s quest to become Ambasssador to Taiwan.

  • Greyhame

    Maybe the leaks are coming from inside his own pocket!

    They still can’t seem to pry the Samsung Galaxy S3 away from his stubby-fingered grasp, and you know that thing was probably compromised before he even took office.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samsung_Galaxy_S_III
    http://bgr.com/2017/01/26/donald-trumps-android-phone/

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Really? What? He has an S3? You’d think he’d have the newest, hottest!

      • TakingAmes

        He fears change.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I’m surprised it still works. My Galaxy Note 4 was obsolete two years ago. Completely. No OS software updates. Antennae was wonky. Battery was draining constantly. They wanted me to upgrade to the explosive Note 7. Instead, I went with a prepaid plan and an LG smartphone that is basically disposable.

    • Jennifer R

      On the plus side his idea of using it for all his actual presidenting is fortuitous because there have to be 10 000 000 people already listening and recording every keypress.

  • TakingAmes

    I love this “SEE YOU IN COURT!” nonsense. I’m so confused as to what we’ve been doing so far.

    • javadavis

      YOU’RE not confused.
      You’re looking at someone who is used to this being the ultimate ‘don’t tell me what I cannot do’ threat, as in – “You expect to be paid for your work??!?!! SEE YOU IN COURT!!!!!”

  • Hardly Ideal

    I’d like to say the news about the firing squads is good, considering those ghastly fuckups in Oklahoma. But on the other hand, I’m sure they’d find a way to fuck up just shooting someone

    • Yr. Gma

      How about a circular one?

      • Hardly Ideal

        Depends on the condemned and the executioners involved.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Actually, I agree, even though I’m a death penalty abolitionist. I get annoyed to no end with the evolution of “humane” methods of capital punishment. The guillotine, the electric chair, the gas chamber, lethal injection–every one was introduced as a “humane” alternative to the “barbarous” method that preceded it. And in the next generation or two, that method itself came to be seen as barbarous, and was replaced by the next “humane” method, lather, rinse, repeat. It’s enough to make you think that the true barbarity lies in state-sanctioned killing itself.

      If you have to kill people, do it in a messy, brutal and quick manner, like bullets. Don’t pretend to be a humanitarian, fucking around with needles and drugs like some sort of cross between Albert Schweitzer and Dr. Kevorkian.

      • nightmoth

        same here—the strapping to the gurney and injecting makes me think of biology 101 kids dissecting a frog—nothing human or humane about it

      • javadavis

        I’m with you – didn’t Star Trek (original) cover something like this idea? It isn’t that big a step from killing in war to killing in prison.

  • TundraGrifter

    “SEE YOU IN COURT” might sound better if he’d won the last round.

    • BadKitty904

      Also rather an odd threat to make against a bench of judges. Um, where else would you see them, Donnie?

      • Bitter Scribe

        Before a firing squad.

        • BadKitty904

          He – and the GOP – wishes.

      • TundraGrifter

        Tennis, anyone?

    • natoslug

      WE’RE ALL MEETING AT SBARRO’S ONCE WE FINISH HITTING UP THE VAPE/SWORD SHOP AND THE SUNGLASSES HUT! SAVE ME A SLICE!

  • Lucas Foxx

    I was slightly impressed someone managed to talk Don Donald down from the One China fiasco. “Because he’s a loser, and can’t win,” is probably about right. I wonder if Xi threatened to call all of our notes, or threatened Don Donald’s suppliers, or … I have no idea what it would possibly take to get through to him on anything.

    • phoenix00

      Export tax on MAGA caps and Donald Trump Collection ties and shirts.

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