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Morning Wonkers! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today!

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  • Nounverb911
    • I love this cat, it’s like my spirit animal.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Me, except instead of coffee, it’s gin.

      • Bad Tom

        Vodka is excellent, also too.

      • Painter of Goats

        Maybe that’s not water in his glass.

      • EEWWWWWWWW

        Whiskey or GTFO!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          A lady doesn’t drink whiskey (or whisky) first thing in the morning.

          • aureolaborealis

            First thing in the morning: coffee and a cigarette, just like mother used to make. Then attend to the bowels. Then start giving that whiskey bottle the what-for.

      • Crystalclear12

        It’s morning! Don’t be a heathen, Kahlua obviously.

    • docterry6973

      Hey Tabby, buy a f***n crueller or get the hell out. This ain’t a bus station.

  • dslindc

    Finally! Our long national nightmare of not having mining waste in our waterways can be over! Fish like coal!

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      It’s how they heat the streams in winter, and is the source of all the electricity that keeps the lights on in their schools.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        From the tap.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    The Johnson Amendment, which restricts political speech by tax-exempt churches, might be “destroyed” so that Jesus can rise from the grave and vote Republican (after pledging his allegiance to his dad, the flag, and President Bannon).

    At this point, even Jesus is rethinking his Jill Stein vote.

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      Oh come on, not even Jesus is holier-than-thou enough to vote for Jill Stein.

  • Nounverb911

    Nikki Haley is having a wonderful New York morning today. Anyone would if they lived in a $50,000 a month Penthouse in the Waldorf-Astoria.

    https://twitter.com/nikkihaley/status/827506776606121984

    • nightmoth

      Child of immigrants makes good. Bless her heart.

    • PubOption

      Even Trump’s appointees won’t stay in his tacky hotel.

  • JohnBull

    They’re STILL inviting her on? A woman who by all accounts isn’t qualified to sort recycling, let alone be within anyone with access to nuclear codes? I can’t wait for this press honeymoon to be over with.

  • Crystalclear12

    All that bullshit and no tomatoes to plant.
    What a waste.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      All hock and no spit.

  • Nounverb911
  • Gayer Than Thou

    Our local vigil for the victims of The Bowling Green Massacre. #NeverFroget

    http://i.giphy.com/O38dU2kkQ9sWc.gif

    • MynameisBlarney
      • Suttree

        Haha! Nice trolling ACLU!

      • A_Changeling

        “thoughts and prayers”
        Well done, maybe too well for some reality-adverse people?

    • Vecchioivan

      I’ll never forget where I was when I heard about it. . . .

      • janecita

        Me neither, I remember it like it was yesterday (because it was). I was sitting on the couch, watching Hardball, and then it happened, out of nothing, just like magic, Kellyanne pulled out a massacre!!!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      #Idiedatbowlinggreen

  • memzilla Ω
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Let’s take some time to ask why Sillyanne Conway thinks there was a massacre in Bowling Green, Kentucky (there wasn’t)

    The non-massacre was a FALSE FLAG!

  • docterry6973

    Maybe some Florida Republican can turn the baby gorilla video into a joke about Sasha and Malia, for old times’ sake.

  • It’s only been two weeks… two weeks… We have 206 more to go…

    • BadKitty904

      Two weeks of signing un-funded, un-Constitutional paper. Other than being an international embarrassment, has the Traitor-in-Chief actually done anything?

      • Khavrinen

        God, I hope not.

    • nightmoth

      Remember all that “creative visualization’ new age woo? Don’t even THINK 206 weeks—think Impeach Now.

    • puredog

      And among all his other high crimes and misdemeanors, Trump stands especially impeachable for having ruined the ancient joyous cry “TGIF!”

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ouch.
    My outrage just broke… again.

    • Hutch

      Pace yourself! This will get worse before it gets better. I’m afraid.

  • Rick Hill
    • Brendan_M

      Syk brenne.

    • Historicat

      There are heroes among us.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Now that’s a real martyr…

    • aureolaborealis

      Everybody stand back. I’ve got this. I’ve been doing Norwegian on the Duolingo:

      Who will you have with you hvis you stranded on a øde øy – and hvorfor?

      I think my work here is done.

      • Naytch

        My sister was bitten by a moose, once…

  • beingreleased

    The most terrifying thing about the Bowling Green massacre? By tomorrow, there will be thousands of Trump supporters who remember just where they were when they heard the news on that terrible day—if they can agree on what day that was.

    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/2/3/1629418/-Kellyanne-Conway-remembers-the-Bowling-Green-Massacre-which-is-amazing-because-it-never-happened

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I remember the Muslims in Jersey City celebrating it.

    • mancityRed6

      The 30th of February will always be in our hearts…or was it the 31st?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I tried watching the Kellyantics last night but my blood boiled after a minute. Had to switch to HGTV to calm down.

    • dslindc

      But that house is terrible! And can you believe that tile they chose? It makes my blood boil!

    • I got drunk and convinced an old man to run for local office…and that’s why the Agenda isn’t very funny today!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Thank you for your sacrifice, citizen.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Here at my office (and in 10 buildings and 20+ break rooms) some angel of mercy switched all the teevees from CNN to the Food Network. Ina Garten FOREVER!!!!!!!111!!!

  • nightmoth

    The Johnson Amendment is useless, anyway, or at least not being observed by any of the GOP pocket churches I know.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Yeah, as sickening as dumbass Donnie’s desire to kill the JA, it’s not like it was being all that well-enforced lately anyway against the fungelicals. Now, at least, mosques and satanists will be able to get in on some of that political grifting.

      • nightmoth

        Good point. I’m getting fond of the law of unintended consequences.

      • puredog

        Yeah, but even though I am far from flyover territory and perhaps not competent to weigh in, it seemed to me that church political activity was somewhat muted and in-house. Now we’ll be having Jeebus Loudspeaker Trucks tooling down the streets playing saccharine hymns and spouting Jim Bakker crap 24/7.

  • Nounverb911
    • Brendan_M

      All those jobs were created between 1/20 and 1/31. Period.

  • therblig

    how dare you bring up jesus without mentioning his love of the 2nd amendment!

  • Rick Hill

    Why do I get the feeling that republican repair might actually be worse than repeal?

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Whatever do you mean by the word “might”?

  • Me not sure

    Everyone knows that the Bowling Green Massacre was a black on white shooting. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/780cb2fdd6ec1b1122ddf366336e967a1646147563ef7bfe9292403ad3feb760.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger

      Poor little Caucasian cannonball didn’t stand a chance.

  • Suttree

    Hey Melon, thanks for reminding me that you used to be a hooker. I had forgotten about that.

    • Shan

      At least it’s honest work.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Pay to play, baby.

  • we’re still here

    Thoughts and prayers to all the families and loved ones not impacted by this alternative tragedy…. #neverremember #BowlingGreen

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Too soon. Let’s wait until it happens.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I feel like you’re not not politicizing a non tragedy that didn’t happen.

      • puredog

        In a non-comment. Could it be any more meta?

  • Hutch
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    As the Herr Club for Men president lets retirement account financial advisors act in their own fiduciary interest instead of yours, hold on to your wallet.

    • Vecchioivan

      The rape of your 401(k) account by rent-seeking weasels will continue unabated. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

  • Me not sure

    I saw a notice in a store window recalling Ivanka’s line of scarves because they didn’t meet flammability standards. Those regulations will be gone soon. Don’t light up.

  • beingreleased

    This is the only thing I know about Bowling Green.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kV_5ewikm0

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I am saddened to see these beautiful animals in a cage but their numbers are so low and the future in the wild is so bleak.

    The world needs a human plague right about now.

    Oh, and FU tRump.

    Gah!

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      The world certainly suffers from a plague of humans. The cure is kinda awful, but I’ve always been willing to go if it meant that the tigers and elephants could have more room to be tigers and elephants.

      And yes: Fuck Drumpf, and all his little monsters.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I know…I’ve come to hate zoos. And yet, the last refuge for too many of these magnificent beasts.

  • Nounverb911
    • Vecchioivan

      DoubleplusHUUUUUUGE!!!

  • msgypsy

    Apparently Barbie Conway meant to say terrorists but instead used the word massacre because, um, maybe she needed to check the thesaurus before using words she doesn’t understand? That said, I have to wonder why this administration has so many people in it who don’t think before they speak. You’d think someone like the Cheeto in Chief, being such an amazing businessman and all (as he has assured us many times he is), would hire better.

    • laughingnome

      She meant to say there are Muslims in Kentucky.

    • Suttree

      The brain surgery to remove any sense of morality is tricky. Sometimes other areas are affected.

    • nightmoth

      It hasn’t hurt him so far. During the campaign, all the Trumpanzees I know chuckled over how Cheeto “tells it like it is, isn’t afraid to speak up, says what’s on his mind” etc. He got votes because he’s riding a personality cult, much like Mussolini did. He’s not a politician, not a businessman, not much of anything except a phony teevee construct, like the Duck Dynasty tools.

      • Tacoclamgenda

        So true. We need to keep remembering that we are looking at two very different standards

      • cmd resistor

        I remember discouraging my kid to tell it like it is in school so he didn’t get in a lot of trouble.

    • Khavrinen

      I have to wonder why this administration has so many people in it who don’t think before they speak.

      FTFY

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Of course Tweety, a journalist who apparently died in 1998, let KaCa’s Bowling Green Massacre remark stand unchallenged. “We lie, you decide!”

    • BadKitty904

      You expected…?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The failure of teevee journalism incarnate. When they come on and, without a hitch, lie to your face, it means they have absolutely no respect for you as a person or a journalist. I live for the day when someone will respond with, “excuse me, Mr. President, but you are a pathetic, lying sack of shit”.

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      Hey, when was the last time someone made up a massacre and cited it as evidence to your face on national TV?

  • BadKitty904
    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’m enjoying this gif probably a little bit more than is healthy. Which is of itself a sign that it’s been a long week.

    • Waiting for the Friday newsdump shitstorm like…
      http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5sa2ysj7D1qer2mpo1_500.jpg

      • BadKitty904

        The same thing occurred to me on my morning run, Dominic. “Well, it’s Friday, what fresh bullshittery should we expect from Cheetolini?”

        • puredog

          “Well, it’s ̶F̶r̶i̶d̶a̶y̶ a day ending in “Y”, what fresh bullshittery should we expect from Cheetolini?”
          Gosh, I’m just fixing everybody’s posts today. Tighten it up, peeps!

    • chortlingdingo

      That’s one of my favorite parts from that movie :)

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    That raid in Yemen…

    I noticed Lyin’ Sean Spicer said the raid was a “net success” because of the intelligence gathered will save trillions of lives. But it seems way too soon to know if there was anything (except pron) on those disk drives.

    • laughingnome

      Pron has saved millions of lives!!

    • Suttree

      Don’t let that get in your way.

    • arglebargle

      The republicans count it as a success if all they get is goat fucking porn.

    • Historicat

      Were there dead muslins? Then it was a success!

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Were there dead people? Success!

  • dslindc

    Seems like Disqus has already decided to take off for the weekend. 🙄

  • snark-lurker

    there will be a ladees march in Iowa City Sunday & She Who Must Be Obeyed sez I will be there, so there’s that.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Every time you’re overwhelmed by The Cheeto Bandito and the Lying Pack of Howler Monkeys infecting the White House, just keep this aside and reference it now and again.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/58ef30ec234ae6a917050e2fd9d58f121d03aecbeae5565a91c2560b857f7745.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That must be from the Dr. Seuss Farm for Oddly Shaped Critters.

    • Hutch

      “Just LOOK at this! I want my money back!” — Poor Llama

    • arglebargle

      “Just take a little off the sides.”

    • PubOption

      Looks like a dandelion on legs.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    NSFW warning! Momma (gorilla) boobiez in that video – I think.

    • puredog

      I’ll be in my bunk.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Grey boibiez are hawt!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Let’s all salute Lars Tollef Jordet of Tolga, Norway, who, when interviewed by the local newspaper, made our whole nation proud:

    https://twitter.com/kinablog/status/826540378560016389

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Speaking of saints.

    • Claire

      Not entirely impractical. Trump’s enormous, there’s gotta be good eatin’ on that if you wash all the orange off.

    • Querolous

      – Da tar jeg en for laget, og tar med meg Donald Trump, svarte Jordet.- I’ll take one for the team, and bring me Donald Trump,

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Dear Friends, I hope you will consider making generous donations of your life savings to the First Presleyterian Church of Elvis the Divine.

    The tenets of Presleyterianism are simple: eat six meals a day (with frequent snacking in between), face Las Vegas once a day, make a pilgrimage to Graceland and fight against the evil anti-Elvis, Michael Jackson.

    Every four years, we have our most holy ceremony as we vote for a Dick, Nixon and hold a spirits-filled retreat at the blessed Watergate Hotel. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e4bf74c5e89d4069f5ef5ebcff9ac748d20e088068b7e95effcca8e919a66178.jpg

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • rocktonsam

    KAC’s aging process seems to have sped up a bit.
    sad weak

    • Nounverb911

      But her portrait is getting younger, #reversedoriangrey

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Beat me to it!

  • BadKitty904

    Who was it that described Kellyannconway as “the female version of Ann Coulter”?

    • Bill D. Burger
      • snark-lurker

        Minions are the Best!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m pretty sure I remember Coulter trans jokes being outside the TOS.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, that’s pretty much universal.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Trans facts are A-OK…

        • Khavrinen

          Then why did they take them out of Oreos?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            So they’d be OK in Europe

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      I thought all reptilians were sexless?

    • puredog

      I was most taken with the commenter who outed her as a hexenbiest, “which explains a lot.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    The ‘alternative facts’ lying sacks o’ shit Trump Chumps DO, however, know their base and how to feed it.

    [Studies show conservatives are more likely to think false information about threats are credible 0
    BY UCLA ON FEBRUARY 2, 2017

    [The study, which will be published in the journal Psychological Science, found that people who hold more socially conservative views were significantly more likely than people with liberal beliefs to find false information about threats credible.]

    http://www.psypost.org/2017/02/studies-show-conservatives-likely-think-false-information-threats-credible-47306

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      It’s a start.

      • cmd resistor

        I would not be surprised if more show up. A couple of hundred showed up spontaneously at the airport last weekend. Also, the original FB event page/organizer dropped out for some reason so people who RSVP’d on FB may not have re-done it on the new page. I read that they had to modify their plans because they expected too big a crowd for what the original permit would have allowed.

        • BadKitty904

          Good.

    • puredog

      You know, if Dubya were into shade, he should determine Trump’s birthday and send him a bag of pretzels.

  • BadKitty904
    • Treg Brown
      • BadKitty904

        *sigh*

      • BadKitty904
        • Treg Brown

          Why isn’t my life like TV??!!1

          • BadKitty904

            Dude, tell me about it. Except for the commercials.

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            My life is like TV. Most the commercials for prescription meds, though.

      • BadKitty904

        He’s what my brother calls “annoyingly cute”.

        • Treg Brown

          Brother did you say? I’m listening…

          • BadKitty904

            Um. You’ve never heard me mention my twin brother, Jeff?

          • Treg Brown

            I thought it was too good to be true, so I assumed I dreamed it. :- )

          • BadKitty904

            lol Well, maybe. Jeffsy is definitely the more outgoing – and more temperamental – of the two of us. Very alpha.

            He’s my older brother by six minutes and yes, we’re identical, and yes, we’re both gay. He’s “Jefferson,” I’m “Carter” (it’s a Southern Thing)..

          • Treg Brown

            I’ve always wanted to b a twin, but I guess that’s normal for an only child. And great names!

          • BadKitty904

            Like everything else, it’s got its pluses and minuses, the minuses starting with the extraordinary amount of BS floating around about twins.

            Sounds like your folks went ahead and just got it all out of the way at one try – from what you’ve said, there’s enough of you to make at least two kids, big guy! :0)

            And thank you. Per the custom Down Here, they are both family names, chosen to emphasize kinship bonds – “Jefferson” (yes,those Jeffersons) is a last name on my mother’s side of the family and “Carter” is my father’s mother’s maiden name.

          • Treg Brown

            Family naming is a great tradition. I’m named after a family member as well, and it’s a good reminder to remember those that came before us. And he pays for part of my tuition through a legacy, so he’s always top of mind.

            Thank you for thinking I could possibly be two, something I could really use as I feel I’ve been running on fumes this past week, and really need a good nights sleep. I hope tonight is the start of a great weekend for you!

          • BadKitty904

            While it can lead to some peculiarities – I have cousins named Aven, Brogden, Lakey, Sims, etc. – I agree. I’m proud of my name and I very much feel that it ties me to my family’s history.

            I’m sorry to hear you’re all tuckered out, babe – not a all a good thing for a man a.) doing intense academic work; b.) making decisions that affect the well-being of others; c.) working in a wildly germ-laden environment. I hope you can go to bed as soon as possible this evening, snuggle up under your blankies, and have sweet dreams. Perhaps this will help with the latter….

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9ac978f657eda1a6e028f33063e7f9f36a6967c412cc57890685e95cc032b6bf.gif

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The vandals in the Freedom Caucus are all riled up about the repairing not repealing of Ocare. Maybe they’ll spend the next two years in a civil war and won’t be able to do anything.

    • Suttree

      One could hope.

    • cmd resistor

      I think the only way we survive is if all these idiots end up eating each other.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    The Bowling Green massacre is just a dance step, libtards! Ya do it when listening to Free Bird, Kellyanne is smrt and knows stuff!

  • laughingnome

    She could be referencing the terrible loss to Notre Dame by a score of 49 – 3 in 1953.

  • Nounverb911
    • Martini Ambassador

      Well, at least it’s not going to be about a black person playing golf. There’s that.

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Is he really going there this weekend?

      • cmd resistor

        No, he’s going to Mar-A-Lago. There is a big Red CRoss charity even there on Saturday. And a welcoming committee nearby.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      as if having melania in NYC compared to DC isn’t already a massive financial boondoogle that would have had people ready to impeach obama.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Well, Obama’s mother in law or someone was on a pension you know. /s

  • Brendan_M

    Wonkette is finally being recognized as the authoritative source on useless, idiot jerks.
    http://mediamatters.org/blog/2017/02/02/25-more-things-know-about-sean-hannity/215222

    25. Hannity was described by the website Wonkette as “the dumbest motherfucker on planet Earth.”

    • Treg Brown

      ” dumbest motherfucker on planet Earth”.

      He would know.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Ford Prefect needs to make a new entry into the Guide and revise Earth as, “Mostly stupid.”

      • UnsaltedSinner

        “But not as harmless as we thought.”

      • Brendan_M

        That may be true, but it’d be awfully rude to insult Earthicans just before the end of our planetary civilization.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He’s Jim Hoft’s idea of what a smart guy sounds like.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Nikki, ever hear of polonium-210?

    Asking for a Russian friend.

  • chortlingdingo

    The Nice Time baby gorilla was particularly nice. Thank you for it!

  • Treg Brown

    “That NOT TRUE tabloid story about Melania Trump being an ALLEGED illegal alien pee hooker”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ead74f637a48d04d174c8c672957d8ac1b06b4fd9bd3843abaea9a8f29753d93.jpg

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It kind of creeps me out that I can say with some degree of confidence that I think the first lady was more attractive with her original breasts.

      • Suttree

        I was going to say that instead of implants, she could eat a fucking sandwich or two.

        • MynameisBlarney

          A coupla sammiches, deep-fried in beef tallow and smothered in sausage gravy.

          • o’look Skwerl!

            Keep talking….

          • MynameisBlarney

            With a side cheese grits with bacon crumbles, also topped in sausage gravy.
            And a slice of tomato, because, roughage.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            IOW, my Sunday brunch?

    • o’look Skwerl!

      I’m seeing a yellow hue underneath her.

    • arglebargle

      Those fake boobs are almost enough to make me go gay.

      • puredog

        Those fake boobs are almost enough to make me go ̶g̶a̶y̶ gag.
        There, FTFY.

      • Pissed de Résistance

        Wait until you see her dick… well, it is bigger than Donny’s.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          So, not visible then, pose not withstanding.

    • BadKitty904

      “Class” with a capitol “KKK”…

      • Treg Brown

        Honestly, those sunglasses and the briefcase with the carefully arranged jewels are the worst part of this picture.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          So very gauche.

          • Treg Brown

            You just know the other side of that case is completely empty.

            White fucking trash.

        • BadKitty904

          Not to mention the hooker-heels…

    • o’look Skwerl!

      She’d being paid in whore zirconias!

    • Bill D. Burger
  • arglebargle

    Bowling Green is a double reverse false flag.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Without the mess…

  • o’look Skwerl!

    Local construction equipment in Minneapolis expresses what we are all feeling.

    http://stmedia.stimg.co/deadworld.jpg?w=800

  • Nounverb911
    • Alternative Pony Ron

      ‘He’s very slowly coming right for us!’

  • Bill D. Burger
  • janecita

    “Conservative” has to be the most oxymoron description for these assholes. Let’s call them what they really are, “destroyers.” They are contaminating our waters, eliminating our forests, basically raping our planet, and they have the balls to call themselves, “Conservatives!” What the fuck are they conserving?? I just don’t get it!!

    • Suttree

      Precious bodily fluids? The right to be an outspoken hateful bigot?

    • NastyBossetti

      White supremacy?

    • puredog

      Sigh. I guess it’s back to the FEMA Reeducation Camp for you.

    • Pissed de Résistance

      Poor grammar?

    • Jamoche

      A month ago I’d have said profits but I don’t think they could do that either.

    • Khavrinen

      Their own bank accounts. Nothing else matters, even the air that they themselves breathe.

  • beingreleased

    There is something weird about getting an email from Ikea saying “Just thought we’d let you know that we don’t hate you.”
    http://link.ikea-usa.com/hostedmessage/message.aspx?2457915.2106057.11327415873.228

    • That IS nice time! I let the rest of the team know

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • The Librarian

    Alternative facts:
    Bowling Green Massacre
    Sacking the JA is a good thing
    SEC Disclosure rules are bad
    Toxic waste dumps in water are tasty.

    True fact: We’re getting fucked.

  • Martini Ambassador

    You guys say the Bowling Green Massacre never happened, but Sean Hannity was THERE, taking heavy fire.

    A true American hero, that one.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    um you guys, it’s really early for me, but is Trump’s account no longer on twitter.
    I used to find it using the past searches box, but now when I do that…nada…just about 15 mock accounts/or supporters.

    It appears it merged wiht POTUS account maybe?

    Told you it was early, found it:

    Weird…here’s today’s twitstorm:
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/827483841589891073
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/827483841589891073
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/827482059438432260
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/827480386120929280
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/827478751931924480
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/827477947154063361

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Still up, via a retweet from Olberman

      https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Thanks, I edited to fix.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks, yeah, my bad, I edited it. Early for me.

    • Suttree

      Did you try turning it off and on?

    • BadKitty904

      “Professional anarchists”? Ummm…

      • Pissed de Résistance

        At least he’s funny. Not when he means to be though…

      • cmd resistor

        Those damned anarchists are so unorganized.

      • QHarp, Mujer malévola

        It’s actually a surprisingly strict credentialing process.

        • Notreelyhelping

          I think it amounts to having the anarchy/acid “A” inside a circle tattooed to your wrist.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      p.s. if you don’t know, the “terrorist attack” at the Louvre was a guy with a machete screaming “allahu akbar”. I’ll leave that without comment for now.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Be honest: who hasn’t felt like that when contemplating that stupid pyramid fouling the facade? I’m often tempted to take a machete to it myself.

    • The Librarian

      I didn’t know I was a “paid thug” when I protested. Is my check in the mail?

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, this is getting ridiculous. I’m gonna have to get a lawyer, I think.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Fascinating. I think his attention span is actually getting SHORTER.

    • cmd resistor

      The “biggest” business leaders?

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      “Anarchists” paid by YOU, (or pres. Bannon) Cheeto-boy!!

    • Good to know he thinks about Arnold before Iran.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    See, here’s why we need an “Action Alert” page:

    from SPLC: “We just learned that the Senate Committee on Homeland Security is taking calls about Steve Bannon’s appointment to the National Security Council (NSC).

    We’re told that they’re tallying calls.

    You might get a busy signal but try, try, try again all this weekend. Leave a message if you get through to voicemail.

    The number: 202-224-4751

    Script: I believe no individual whose primary responsibility is political in nature should be allowed on the NSC or authorized to attend its meetings. Partisan politics have no place in our national security.

    I just called, no live person, but the mailbox is currently accepting messages.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    So they do realize that repealing the Johnson amendment will absolutely release the Black church, yes?

    • Suttree

      No. Different rules for them I’m sure.

      • BadKitty904

        Ditto synagogues, mosques, et al.

        • suziq

          Not real churches so they don’t count.

          • Querolous

            3/5 of a church.

      • Pissed de Résistance

        Per normal.

    • Treg Brown

      Hadn’t thought of that. God yes, please and thank you.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well, as long as they can still keep those meddling rabble-rousers from organizing voter registration and Sunday voting, it’ll be cool.

    • guppy06

      Pocket change compared to the potential $peech of the megachurches.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Oh, but the speakers!
        (Not that “top gang thug” guy though.)

  • TheGrandWaz00
    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Rainbows, eh? Pollution made the water gay!!!!! Quick, reinstate the rules. Won’t someone think of the children?

    • Pissed de Résistance

      Wow, Jefferson Airplane… 1969… the Filmore…

      • puredog

        But it’s like Robin Williams said. Poseur.

      • Notreelyhelping

        I was thinking Hendrix: olds’ minds think alike.

        • Pissed de Résistance

          I saw him once, too!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh…Love it! This is great:
    YES! They’re good.
    Bowling Green Massacre Fund Website Launched – Donate Button Directs to ACLU Donation Page

    [THE BOWLING GREEN MASSACRE VICTIMS FUND

    JOIN US IN HELPING THOSE IN THIS TIME OF NEED

    DONATE NOW

    We all still carry the vivid memories of what horrors occurred at Bowling Green, but some still relive those moments everyday as they work to rebuild a community torn apart.
    DONATE
    Join us in directly supporting the victims and families directly affected by the Bowling Green Massacre by donating to the Bowling Green Massacre Victims Fund.]

    https://www.bowlinggreenmassacrefund.com/

    Make a Donation →
    WE SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER
    As we join together with our thoughts and prayers, we will always remember how our fortitude and compassion unite us all through these difficult times.

    https://www.bowlinggreenmassacrefund.com/

  • Tallmutha
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    CNN”s reporting Treasury Dept. is about to drop sanctions on Iran.

    • Rick Hill

      And there goes a treaty violation.

    • puredog

      “Sanctions” might be a typo for “ordnance,” but what do I know. Potato potahto.

  • guppy06

    Why do these animal videos sound like Target commercials?

  • Apple Scruff

    Welp, Nikki Haley should be the next to get the axe.

    • cmd resistor

      I thought she was supposed to be taking names?

  • goonemeritus

    New improved mountain streams, now with more minerals and flavor.

    • gamera23

      Chunky style.

  • PubOption
    • WotsAllThisThen

      It was a massacre! Kentucky U beat Kentucky State 54-3.

      • gamera23

        Well at least it wasn’t a disaster.

    • natoslug

      They shot bombs, but were lousy shots, as can be seen by that field of bombs.

  • PubOption

    I seem to remember Repubs complaining about the cuts the ACA forced in Medicare spending. I’m sure that reversing those cuts would be popular.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m perfectly prepared to believe that Melania might have had sex for money sometime, but it’s worth pointing out that that judge’s ruling was strictly jurisdictional.

    • puredog

      And pretty much using Roberts Court anti-jurisdiction precedent to do it. Suck on it, Repubs.

    • HazooToo

      She married that Thing. She has absolutely had sex for money.

  • Zyxomma

    That baby gorilla was the cutest. Well, the cutest since Gordon on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show.

    • Serai 1

      I think all gorillas are cute. All you have to do is picture them being a foot tall and they become extremely cute.

    • Hardly Ideal

      They really are. Whenever I watch Hardly Jr. try and figure things out (ransacking my laundry hamper, opening and closing books he can’t read, etc.), I always think “man, you are just like those baby chimps learning how to fish for ants with twigs and it’s adorable.”

  • SweetDeeKat

    So Ivanka’s duds are going to start showing up at Ross and Marshalls? Kewl. I took a look at them and they aren’t too bad. My top price is 9.99, though.

    • Serai 1

      Yeah, at that price I would buy one, take the tag off and modify it somehow – take off the collar and sleeves, or sew a bunch of doodads all over it, or tie-dye it. Make it a statement as well as a garment.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Israel can do what it wants.
    that’s always been the case with our 51st state. And a big part of the problem in the Middle East.

    But, hey. What’s a little apartheid amongst friends?

    • Ducksworthy

      No worse than Alabama though right?

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Scrofula

      How can I take those ladies seriously w/o gold curtains behind them? What is that, a tack board? With like, babby drawings and school schedules?

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        And no whiz action! Low energy! Fail!

  • The Johnson Amendment was never enforced so far as I know so what’s the point of having it. I don’t know how many times my conservative family members were given “guidance” from the pulpit on how to vote in the elections. Fox News wasn’t the only one carrying the GOPs water for years…the churches were the other arm of their propaganda machine.

  • Scrofula

    Hmm. Melon or the Daily Fail. Sometimes, there are no winners.

  • Bill Slider

    If Trump completes that damn wall, will that have the result of everyone in America living.in a gated community? Will my property taxes likely increase? Why do all the Messicans want to live in a gated community?

  • Notreelyhelping

    Ran across a Tweet yesterday from an alt/anti-Trump poster that put forth the proposition that Pence so strongly supports conversion therapy because it worked for him. At first, I was stunned, and then laughed, and then felt guilty about laughing. And then I laughed again, thinking: live by the bullshit, die by the bullshit. And it’s very clearly bullshit because otherwise it would have come to light by now. But, hey…people ARE saying….

  • C4TWOMAN

    Re:Melon court proceeding from link:
    “The ruling also does not appear to affect proceedings against Webster
    Tarpley, a blogger in Maryland who published a similar article around
    the same time. Trump also has sued Tarpley, and her attorneys said
    Thursday that they intend to move ahead on the claims against him.”

    Don’t laugh too hard. The person who got that ball rolling, Webster Tarpley, is a conspiracy monger and long associate of the alt-right before we called it that. Best way to understand this is to look at his history with Lyndon Larouche and his cult:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Webster_Tarpley
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyndon_LaRouche

    Like Scientology these people have intelligence networks as sophisticated as some governments. And they are an old dab at misdirection. The first thing I thought when I heard Tarpley was attacking Melon was either

    it’s a set up to embarrass the Daily Mail,
    or, a set up for public sympathy
    or, a set up to make Melon believe she’s being “attacked” and keep her occupied/out of Trump’s way.

    Tl;dr: these people are malicious predatory charlatans running a cult.

    Larouche was in prison for fraud and frankly Tarpley should be in prison for whatever he knows about Jeremiah Duggan’s death.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Jeremiah_Duggan

  • Chadwells

    I tried to stay away from news today…failed.

    I’m sure you all have already been raging about this…but I’ll throw it up in case.

    Fuckface taking credit for things Fuckface had NOTHING to do with…and the Fuckface masses eat it up.

    “Trump Brags About Job Growth That Happened Under Obama”

    http://www.motherjones.com/media/2017/02/donald-trump-jobs-report-obama-administration

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    Humans, meet the ancient sea creature at the other end of your family tree
    http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-oldest-human-ancestor-20170130-story.html

  • lovelydestruction

    Thanks for the gorillas…I felt a small surge of happy happy joy joy.

  • bookish

    What an adorable babby. I want one, or several.

  • birdbrain53

    I believe the Governator is winning that Twitter War. At least he’s entertaining!

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