Good morning, Wonkers! Here's some of the stories that may grace the pixels of yr Wonkette today!
Hillary Clinton has become the first woman formally nominated to a major party in America!
In a humbling gesture, Bernie Sanders moved to release his delegates following the roll call vote. I said HUMBLING!
Some Sanders delegates organized a walk-out during the roll-call yesterday, while Protesters outside of the DNC range from pro-Palestinian, #BernieOrBust, Black Lives Matter, IWW, Blue Lives Matter, and pro and anti-Clinton, confirming that the freedom of speech is actually alive and well. Surprisingly enough, there haven't been many arrests .
Good ol' (Bill) "Bubba" Clinton gave really good talky thing last night about how to talk to nerdy girls in college. ( Read it here )
President Barry Bamz and Joe Biden are in the shower together. Literally.
Gabby Giffords is a goddamn super hero !
VA Gov. Terry McAuliffe shat the bed when he said Hill-dawg would renegotiate TPP, forcing the campaign to deny, deny, deny . We'll remind you that McAuliffe is, like, just their drunk friend with foot-in-mouth disease.
Translucent shit-weasel, Julian Assange is threatening to doxx more Democrats in an effort to damage Clinton. The worlds worst house guest has denies U.S. intelligence experts claims that a state-sponsored hack of DNC records supplied Wiki-leaks with the information.
Let's all point and laugh at the miserable Floridian failure that is Alan Grayson's fledgling primary campaign has become!
Ever desperate for attention, Trump was whining all over the teevee box , and Twitter machine last night, and early this morning like an obese infant, before , during and after Bill Clinton melted brains. He should probably shut his vodka-steak hole , and pay his bills .
People are trolling the shit out of Trump, from Hillary Clinton , to Mark Cuban , Elizabeth Banks , and even farmers .
Anthony Weiner would come out of retirement just to beat Donald Trump Jr. like "a rented mule" in a New York City mayoral race, but Daddy says the race won't happen. SAD!
Bill O'Reilly is a fucking idiot who thinks the slaves who built the White House were, "well fed and had decent lodgings."
Republican Warren Davidson is running unopposed to John Bohner's old seat in his Senate race after his Democratic opponent suddenly dropped out.
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, 07/27/2016
At least they got that "Dewey Defeats Truman" right ... Oh wait ...
FOUND IT: http://assets.nydailynews.c...