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Seriously, Dad, stop saying you're 'verklempt.'
Seriously, Dad, stop saying you’re ‘verklempt.’

While we could never hope to equal the visual and narrative grandeur of Evan’s brilliant Barack Obama/Justin Trudeau slashfic (are you one of the four people on the internet who hasn’t read it yet? What’s wrong with you? Go read it!), we also want to point out, as middle-agedly as humanly possible, that at the big State Dinner Thursday for our sexxy guests from up north in Ted Cruz’s homeland, young Sasha and Malia Obama have turned out to be quite the lovely young ladies.

And to think, it seems like only yesterday they were bored teenagers making bored teenager faces while having to stand around with their dumb dad, who kept saying things with words and embarrassing them:

malia and sasha bored

And let’s not even mention their open disdain for the solemn Thanksgiving turkey-pardoning ritual:

sad-obama-daughters

Also, the endearing goofiness of First Daughters making duckfaces (yes, girls, these pics will be seen by your eventual college boyfriends. You are allowed to resent your dad’s job for that):

sasha malia selfie

But suddenly, here they are, all grown up and behaving like perfect little ladies at an actual state dinner! And so beautiful, no? (We understand they’re wearing Naeem Khan, whatever that means.)

'Don't trip don't trip don't trip don't trip...'
‘Don’t trip don’t trip don’t trip don’t trip…’

Looks like the Onion was all wrong about Malia growing to be seven feet tall. OR WERE THEY?

Here are the girls doing some serious Social Graces at the Prime Minister and his mom:

So you see, as Jonathan Chait so rightly observed, Trump threatens not only the GOP's agenda but the self-conception of its intellectual class. But enough of mere politics...
‘So you see, as Jonathan Chait so rightly observed, Trump threatens not only the GOP’s agenda but the self-conception of its intellectual class. But enough of mere politics…’

And our favorite shot of the bunch, Sasha Obama geeking out when she meets guest Ryan Reynolds (the star of that new comic book movie the kids are so nuts about) while Malia shoots a double thumbs-up to her sister:

'Omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh...'
‘Omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh…’

*Sniff!* Our little Sasha and Malia, all grown up. Where has the time gone?

[WaPo / Cosmopolitan / State dinner images from the White House]

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  • Rick Hill

    Acck! We wake up finding that Turnip is threatening to send saboteurs to the Sander events and you’re doing a fluff piece on the Prez’s daughters?!?!?

    Ok. Sorry, Dok. Too much caffeine and time displacement over here.

    • doktorzoom

      You know, if it were the only thing we ran today….

      Edit: Don’t worry, we’ll have a nice Senate race, the Snake Oil Report, and some Dear Shitferbrains for you, too!

      • Nounverb911

        How bad are the deleted commenters today?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Far more literate and polite than the average commenters at the sites they live at!

          • malsperanza

            Heavily edited, as they will incoherently claim later.

        • FeloniousMonk

          They seem to have softly and silently vanished away.
          Edit: softly and suddenly. Good lord, my memory is going.

      • The Wanderer

        I’m looking forward to the Snake Oil Report!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      If it helps, CNN is doing a roundtable on the media’s failure to do actual journalism on Trump. I have seen no apologists for that abject failure, and very sharp rebukes for it, instead. Whether this changes their approach or not remains to be seen.

      • MrBlobfish

        If I remember correctly, CNN is part of the media.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Someone there is channeling Ted Turner from Montana or something, because CNN has been in unmistakable decline after Ted gave up control to the MBA scum of Time Warner AOL.

          • The Wanderer

            I still want to go back in time and dissuade Turner from the very idea of “twenty-four hour news.” I will bring him a tape (VHS) of CNN’s current output.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Part? They are sounding more and more as if they submit their articles to dead Breitbarts home for slavering rage boners before putting Drumpf articles out on the webz.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          They are. And the participants are specifically calling out CNN’s failures, as well as other outlets. And not in an “everybody does it, so it’s ok” way.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          And you’re either part of the solution or…

      • Tansy Geek

        I predict absolutely fuck-all will change because train wrecks and Trump bring the viewers. Also, it’s not like Trump’s responses are going to change. I doubt he has any hidden depths of substance and policy. If a smirk doesn’t work then pouting and threatening to sue usually does.

      • Biff52

        Too late. They invented him so they could cover him, and now they have to cover him because he’s the front-runner. If they suddenly come to jesus, it’ll be all too obvious what their game plan is. Librul media. Huh.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          One of the points that was made was that, while they DO need to cover the frontrunner, they should ONLY cover him. Since that articular show, I think they are attempting to get every single candidate on camera today. So far, I’ve seen Trump, Bernie, Rubio and Kascich.

    • rebecca

      well yeah, but didn’t we all see that coming Friday night?

      • Rick Hill

        -First amendment whine? Check
        -Dems are nasty people? Check
        -Unlike my own good supporters? Check
        -We’re going to send people over to the old man’s and pull up his rose bushes? Wait, what?

        Yeah, this one caught me by surprise.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Awwwwww . . . (not a Wonkette Babby level awwww, of course!)

    • SterWonk

      I’d put them at around 500 – 750 milli-DonnaRoses, largely because as teenagers, they’re too old to trigger the OMG A CUTE WIDDLE BABY!!! circuits in my brain.

  • memzilla

    I can only imagine the hateful slime being tossed in the RWNJ asylum about them, but I’m in favor of any picture that makes Freepers and Rethuglicans go apeshit. YOU GO GRRLZ.

  • Nounverb911

    Did Sasha and Malia ask Margaret Trudeau what it was like to party at Studio 54 with Andy Warhol and Mick Jagger?

  • MrBlobfish

    Lucky kids. It’s a shame so much hate is thrown their way. Insert post-racial argle bargle here.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      But, but, but racism ended when Justice Scalia died!

    • Argle bargle Meegan McArdle!
      ~

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      I’ve heard from very reputable sources that racism is Obama’s fault.

      Not very reliable sources.
      Not even remotely reliable.
      Hell, I’d be hard pressed to trust these sources with expired coupons, but the argument stands.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        If they were on the internet they are reliable sources. Trump said so this morning on Meet the Press.

        Sorry, i just watched William Kristol go crazy talking about Trump as the Nominee. Kristol may have a stroke.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Promise?

        • Marion in Savannah

          I’m heading back to church to start a novena…

        • H0mer0

          If Kristol sez it, that’s good news for Hillary or Bernie!

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Poor old neocon. No one is buying his New American Century crap any more.

        • guppy06

          How would you tell?

      • H0mer0

        apparently Bed Bath and Beyond takes expired coupons.

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          Wouldn’t surprise me.

  • PubOption
    • Biff52

      Damn I miss Sandy Denny…

    • Antimassacree

      Oops. Should have scolled down.

  • And just for context, here’s what preceded these poised young women…

    https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Md16b78eaa390d9604499f570febb5148o0&pid=15.1

    I’m going to miss the Obama white house.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’ll be whiter in a year.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      “Sponsored- from around the web: 11 embarrassing pics you won’t want to miss!”

    • malsperanza

      You, me, and everyone else* in America on the planet.

      The world is watching us and thinking, “Can we get some of those nice leg shackles and chain him to the desk in the Oval Office?”


      *Barring the 0.0002% of neanderthals who are thinking, “Can we get some of those nice leg shackles and chain him in a cotton field?”

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Thanks, Dok. I’m proud of my country again.

  • 451 Byrnes

    One can only imagine (at least I do) that they are as kind and thoughtful as their mother (Who I got to meet).
    –Total name-dropping humblebrag–

  • Bill Slider

    This is why Obama chose to run for a second term. That, and so he could call Mitch McConnell a liar.

    • malsperanza

      He doesn’t need to call McConnell anything. McConnell is self-reporting.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Other than Malia throwing a gang sign in that one photo, what confident, wonderfully composed young women these two seem to be. Just imagine the Palin spawn in their place?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      At least I could get laid with the Palin “ladies.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Something important might rot and fall off later…but yeah.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        And discover new species of body lice!

      • Rick Hill

        (Right wing grumbles because Malia isn’t pregnant yet)

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      “And here in The First Trailer, behind the White House, Trip Palin has taken up residence. There he is, hanging his undies out to dry near the fountains.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I wonder if the official White House Meth Lab would be part of the public tour?

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          Behind the First Car Hulks.

          • Land Shark

            and the First Out House.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      There might still be hope for Willow?

      • Jonny On Maui

        If she gets outta there now…

    • MarkM

      Nope. Does not bear thinking about…

    • Land Shark

      The shooting range in the cellar and the outhouse in the back of the White House would just be the beginning. All I think of is RVs parked in the west wing parking lot ….

  • Fartknocker

    Damn it Doc. I got a tad misty eyed watching these two beautiful women. Damn Mommyblog, I like you.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    The President and First Lady have so much to be proud of, chief among them their daughters.

    • Land Shark

      If the Obamas leave the White House haven’t accomplished nothing else, they have raised two smart, poised daughters under the worst possible parenting situation. Molotov!

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        Amen!
        Obama’s legacy is kind of a bummer since all he’s really done is try to clean up all of Dubya’s mistakes, but successfully raising two daughters in the most difficult parenting situation in the nation is a hell of a legacy.

  • calliecallie

    Those girls really are so beautiful! Thanks, Obamas.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …and can you believe that he hasn’t once pulled a “Trump” and talked about screwing his own daughter?!

    #Uppity

    • ManchuCandidate

      #NotGameofThronesIcky

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …yeah I know, but the contrast is scary isn’t it?!?!

        • MarkM

          I’d call it edifying. Too bad the people who desperately need edification are busy dressing up like this…

          • Lamashtar

            As a someone fond of cosplay, I kind of respect the dorky dedication it takes to dress up like a wall.

    • Biff52

      Shit, they’ll never find husbands, if they ain’t even good enough for their own kin…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Channeling Duggar like that is really hazardous…

  • Rick Hill

    I love how Sasha has such a reserved manner but when she’s with her Dad she just shines.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I would have been so disappointed if they were geeking out about the Green Lantern instead of the one named after a Dirty Harry movie.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    There’s no doubt the Obamas are wonderful, creative parents. I also suspect they have had “the talk” many, many times with their girls: As African-American young ladies living prominent and public lives, one mistake, one careless misstep, and they will CRUCIFY you.

    • MarkM

      The fact that they have done such an exemplary job of raising those two girls in spite of all of the pitfalls and people who would be gleeful at the slightest misstep is truly laudable. Almost through the minefield now, Obama family…

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Sasha and Malia are obviously throwing up Kenyan, Musilm, Socialist, gang signs! They are probably signaling to ISIS to invade the beaches of Normandy!!!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Or the beaches of Biloxi, Mississippi.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        They already did that! (Oh, that was BP. My mistake.)

    • Antimassacree

      It won’t be over even if ISIS attacks Pearl Harbor.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      I think ISIS will come through the soft underbelly of the Balkans and follow the Ottoman strategy of seize warfare. Vienna will fall this time.

      • Msgr_Moment

        I say: Let it. Good-night, Vienna.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQax4SyomN4

        • Vienna Woods

          Hey, it’s way too early to go to bed.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …well tell them to bring some Vienna Sausages when they do, the ones I can get here are HORRIBLE!!!

      • leemoder

        I’ve got a better one.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …those heels tho!

          • guppy06

            If you wore those you’d wish you could fly, too!

          • Amy!

            Marco’s seriously jealous.

    • Their parents are terrorist-fist-bumping Muslins!!11!!! I would expect no less.

  • azeyote

    i liked their honesty back when they showed how boringly stupid Washington is

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The vermin of the Village are utterly unworthy of a First Family like this.

  • The Wanderer

    They’ve grown up to be a pair of very attractive young women. I only hope that the world we’re leaving them isn’t a complete rubbish tip when it comes time to pass it on.

    • Blank Ron

      I suspect they will both be the sort of people who will buckle down and do what can be done to clean up the mess we left for them. A rare commodity, people like that.

  • Delu

    Ryan Renolds? That green suited lantern guy?

    Hah! Dok Zoom would easily beated him up just like he did Barry Allen.

    • Rick Hill

      They better not have seen Deadpool

      • The Wanderer

        I saw that movie, and laughed so hard I nearly had an aneurysm. Stunningly Biblical levels of mayhem, bloodshed and snark.

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          I saw it on a date.
          She and I are still talking.

          • Pickwicknext

            She’s a keeper! (FYI I am not best suited to judge because, as I have said before , using the pick up line “Do you wanna see my boomstick?” Would totally work on me.)

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            It was her suggestion, too!

    • leemoder

      Flash libel!

    • malsperanza

      While Sasha and Malia are melting into puddles over some bland movie actor, everyone else in these United States is crushing on their dad. You can kind of see why they’d prefer not to think about that.

  • Antimassacree

    Let’s hear Sandy Denny ask that question:

    http://youtu.be/5oBMDcLf6WA

    • HanBarbara

      But the time before potty training seems to move very, very, slowly. When they’re bouncing up and down in the crib, in the morning, happy to see you, and you can smell it in the doorway, you know you are in for it.

  • calliecallie

    This reminds me of prom. (I said p-r-o-m, you pervs!)

    • bobbert

      P-r-0-m?

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    ? Sunrise, sunset
    ? Sunrise, sunset
    ??

    • guppy06

      ♪Anacostia, Anacostia…♫

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    So beautiful.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    Thanks, Dok, this gave me all kinds of warm fuzzy feels. That may also be the leftover curry I’m eating, but I think it’s the article.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Gosh, not one drunken, falling over photo. So unglamorous. It’s like they don’t know how to be First Kids or something.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      You are confusing them with the J&B twins from the last administration

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Feel-good OT, but as part of a book festival here, I attended a talk with Tim Egan and Douglas Brinkley about the Roosevelts and the legacy of national and state parks, sanctuaries, and wildlife refuges they left us. It was a passionate discussion about the value and beauty of open, wild spaces, and the radical concept that these places were set aside as a birthright for ALL Americans. It restored my faith in humanity…for a couple of hours anyway.

    • Tansy Geek

      Yeah, well Trump will sell it all for the mineral and development rights so enjoy it while you can.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Believe me, that topic came up.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        In fairness to Trump, ANY Republican would do the same.

        • Tansy Geek

          Yes but he’ll be especially smug and tacky about it. Well, they all would be smug and unapologetic I suppose.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Oh no, I imagine a VERY klassy ceremony wherein he hands the deed to Yellowstone N.P. over to the Bundy cornholers.

          • Tansy Geek

            There will be a yooge silk ribbon, cut with gold plated scissors and he’ll fill Old Faithful with the finest Champagne.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Following by the ceremonial Running of the Cattle and Buffalo Hunt.

          • John Smith

            Following by the ceremonial Raping of the Cattle and Buffalo Hunt.

            FIFY.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            They wouldn’t be able to bid enough.Think what developers would pay to get a couple hundred acres to build a resort!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Bid? You misunderstand the Bundys…they think they already own it.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            And you think Trump would miss the opportunity to have one of his companies (absolutely without his knowledge, of course. Since everything would be in a “blind” trust. *wink* *wink*) get some of that action? You think he’d pass on the chance to make another billion or so?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            True that. The Bundy types may like Trump for his racism, but in reality-like the cattle barons before him-he’d crush them like insects.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          A Republican did. One of John Kasich’s first actions after becoming Governor of Ohio was to sign an executive order allowing oil and gas exploration in the state parks and forests.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Bush was going to open the Grand Canyon for oil and mineral exploration. It just never ends with these people.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Don’t let Bundy and the “militias” hear that line of thinking.
      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupation_of_the_Malheur_National_Wildlife_Refuge

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Cliven made his first appearance in court yesterday, claiming-what a surprise!-that he didn’t acknowledge the authority of the federal government. Wonderful, douchebag…I’m sure your cellmate finds this all fascinating.

        • YayConspiracy

          He can spend a lot of time non-acknowledging the federal government in his federal jail.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          You know, he’s in custody, he can claim the court doesn’t have authority all day, and all he’s doing is just adding years on to the sentence.

          Worthless shit will die in prison.

        • Toomush_Infer

          I can tell you one thing about the Bundys…..

        • mailman27

          Throw him the fuck out. I’ve heard the rest of the world is suffering from a freeloader shortage. He’ll be welcomed with open arms.

        • jmk

          I heard his wife whining on NPR that it’s juuuuuust soooooooo unfaaaaaaaaaair that he hasn’t gotten bail and he should be allowed to be home with his family.

          I hurt my neck from all the headshaking.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah, get bail from the institution you don’t believe in. You can’t make these people up. Thank God they are the party of personal responsibility…we have so much to learn from them.

          • jmk

            I honestly couldn’t believe the cluelessness.

            Anyone whose rabble-rousing scofflaw husband is in jail for having organized his buddies to violently turn back federal agents who tried to collect his cows after he spent a decade refusing to comply with federal law or pay fines should at least be able to understand that the court might just be the teeeeensiest skeptical of his willingness to not jump bail.

            All I could think was that someone that profoundly stupid shouldn’t be allowed out without a minder for her own safety.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You’re going to hurt your neck again. Absence of self-awareness at this level is beyond the comprehension of normal people….assuming you and I fall into the “normal” range.

          • jmk

            I hurt my neck – and my eyes from all the rolling – every time these morans appear in public, so I suppose I’d better get a chiropractor.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            On this subject, I went back to the book festival to hear Tim Egan give a presentation on wildfires in the west (if you ever get a chance to see this man speak, jump at it. A fuckin’ rock star of the printed and spoken word). One of the topics he hammered on was how Forest Service firefighters are often asked to risk-and in some cases give-their own lives to protect private homes adjacent to national forest land. He added, with considerable venom, that these homeowners are often people who “don’t believe in government”. It’s an alternative universe out there, mi amiga.

          • jmk

            Good lord, that’s awful. I had hoped that the gleeful firebugging that the idiot Hammond family had been doing was NOT the norm, but now that I think about it, it makes an ugly kind of sense. That venom is totally warranted, and those Forest Service folks are straight-up heroes.

            Is that the Tim Egan who wrote The Worst Hard Time? I remember reading that several years ago and being profoundly moved.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I wonder if his cellmate gets time served when his trial comes up for putting up with that shit without killing him.

    • YayConspiracy

      No riots broke out?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Nah….crowd was about 99% AZ senior libs. It looked like a photo shoot for a Trader Joe’s/LL Bean catalog.

        • YayConspiracy

          Yay humanity!

    • Toomush_Infer

      Did you even take over any bird refuges, losers?…..

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Ha! Many birder types in the audience. All in their 80s it seemed, but some of them would’ve gladly gone up to Oregon to take on the shitbags. These guys are SERIOUS about their bird watching.

    • Valkyrie

      Ken Burns’ series on national parks was one of his best. And the land-stealing gummint was just one step ahead of the mining and timber barons. The Trump-like commercialization of Niagara falls is what swayed public opinion towards the conservation.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        In many cases, they were one step behind the mining and timber barons, and the lands in question were already degraded. Both T.R. and Franklin used executive orders….”fuck you, we’re taking it”. As Tim Egan said, both Roosevelts loved to “punch up”…pimpslapping their fellow elites, rather than victimizing and demonizing the most vulnerable elements of our society. Times have changed, no?

  • MrBlobfish
  • Lizzietish81

    They are showing great poise, I would have been drooling on Reynolds and humping his leg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yeah, I was wondering whether it was drinks on the house or a cash bar.

    • dslindc

      Same

    • guppy06

      At their age, though? Malia is probably flashing thumbs up at Sasha for managing to speak actual words, or for not repeating the same thing three times in a row (e.g. the hurried, breathless story of how much she likes her dress and how she came to it).

      “I like pants!”

  • Joshua Norton

    They’re wearing expensive clothes!! Now’s the time to pretend we care about starving veterans!
    –Every Breitbart Reader.

    • PsycWench

      not Every Breitbart “Reader”?

    • HanBarbara

      Or, they’re “dressed like ho’s” instead of young ladies”

      • Victoria Gibson

        “my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….

        two days ago new Mc.Laren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Hereoi!153➤➤➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsPage/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:::::oi!153……

    • Redgyal

      Just like Nancy Reagan would have. Remember all of the simple, off the rack dresses she wore to White House events?

  • Beulah

    A Nice Time post! Beautiful.

  • Helena Handbag

    Darn you to heck, Dok! You made me all weepy and I’m not wearing waterproof mascara. Now I’m all Tammy Fayed up!

    • Ricky Gay

      ooh, sexy!1!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Ummm…Seek help…

  • baconzgood

    What lovely young ladies.

  • data_ninja

    OT: Reminder! Move your clocks forward!

    • Frankly, they hate everything since the Robber Baron era. 1890s, thereabout?
      ~

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What fresh tyranny is this? Oh right….I live in Arizona, where we still have the freedom to be the laughingstock of the rest of the country.

      • Biff52

        You almost got it right. I’d love to remain on DST, the way Jimmy Carter intended.

      • thenearesthippie

        But don’t you prefer fresh tranny to stale libety?

    • Joshua Norton

      Californie is talking about having a ballot measure to do away with this DST madness. I plan on voting in favor of doing just that several dozen times or more!

      • Spotts1701

        It always gets talked about, but I think the only way it happens in Nevada is if California does it. Way too much cross-state business at Tahoe and Reno/Truckee to have the two on different times during the summer.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          The Navajo Nation goes on DST here, while the rest of the state stays on MST.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Indiana resisted for several years, but they unofficially had to change around the lakes due to shipping schedules. If you were talking to someone on the phone and setting up a meeting, you often had to say, “Okay, what time is it there right now?”

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Then we will get one less hour of daylight every day! I suffer from SAD. Meanie.

        • Joshua Norton

          So do I. They have light bulbs for that now. I also end up suffering from jet lag for about 2 weeks twice a year with all this clock switching!

        • malsperanza

          Me too, but DST is awful. It means the Darkness descends like Mordor at 4:30 in winter. I figure dark in the morning is not as bad as darkness at mid-afternoon. Mornings in winter suck no matter what, so.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Fuck time change! Just fuck it! And then fuck it again!

    • Playonwords

      Sane countries don’t do it until the last Sunday of March

      • Jonny On Maui

        Sane states don’t do it at all…

        • guppy06

          Congratulations on being as sane as Arizona, then! I’m thinking new license plate design (your current one’s a little gay).

          • Jonny On Maui

            A little? HI’s been pro ghey for a while…

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      I love you.

    • Sally Johnson

      Only good guys with clocks can stop Daylight Savings Time.

    • Naytch

      And please check your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. Mfg date as well. Within ten years for smokes and 5-7 years for CO. I need all of you around in November to vote! Don’t make me send this guy:

      https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=fire+marshall+bill+in+living+color&view=detailv2&&id=E6DF7B7D448DC18B0AE21BAE6E7CBCC8FF11F1AE&selectedIndex=2&ccid=%2bOkqiKs8&simid=607992921341824724&thid=OIP.Mf8e92a88ab3cc428d556b01709ea9140H2

      And now back to your regularly scheduled snark…

    • Courser

      Ugh! My friends and I provided ‘security’ (mostly just helping keep drunk folk from hurting themselves or others) last night until 1 am. Then came home and lost *another* hour.

      Generally, time changes don’t mess with me much, but I suspect this week will be a bitch. Ugh again!

    • thenearesthippie

      But if I move my clock forward any farther, it’s going to fall off the nightstand. Then how I am I supposed to know what time it is?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I hates the Daylight Savings Time, Precious. Hates it.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Sasha and Malia are beautiful young women.
    Much to the chagrin of Jenna and Barbara, I’m sure.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Chagrin” does not appear in the Republican dictionary.

      • YayConspiracy

        I thought it was their favorite (only?) state of mind, no?

      • Biff52

        Please don’t squeeze the Chagrin!

      • Playonwords

        For them Char-grin is the delight they feel at eating Bar-B-Q food

      • malsperanza

        How about “drunken obliviousness”?

    • H0mer0

      they are beautiful in their own right, esp the younger Barbara (I feel like defending her as a liberal at heart like her mom.)

      • janecita

        Barbara is really pretty, Jenna is a plain Jane.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Jenna and Barbara were pretty embarrassing, but they turned out all right.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Pierce_Bush

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenna_Bush_Hager

  • Marcinema

    The “thumbs up” is a great pic. From day one, you could tell Malia was going to be a great beauty. Ryan Reynolds has no idea why he is there, other than the girls begged Dad to invite him, and he caved. “OK, I’ll invite him can I please get back to drone strikes?”

    • hopeandmemory

      Well, he is Canadian. A few other Canadian entertainers were there that night, I think.

    • malsperanza

      State dinners always include movie stars, because why be a head of state if it doesn’t get you a seat next to Bradley Cooper? (Though apparently he is too Oldz for the Obama grrls.)

  • baconzgood

    It must be wierd that all you “akward teen” photos are in the national archives.

  • YayConspiracy

    The first family rocks!

  • anon_the_great

    Thank you Wonkette

  • Pickwicknext

    I wish i had 1/4 of the poise of those two ladies. (I can never hope to even reach that of their mom) i type this whist taking a break from assembling my new Ikea couch & sweating like a blah lady at a Drumpf rally.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Iva always got food stains on my shirt, and I sweat like a whore in church. I’m jealous of women who always have every hair in place.

      • Pickwicknext

        If I do not shower and tame my hair with the magic water and heavy-duty conditioner, it looks like i have attached an electrocuted poodle to my head.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          We have found Drumpf’s running mate!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Having recently assembled (ass-embled) my Ikea sofa bed, you have my utmost sympathy. Indulgence in alcoholic libation enabled success for me.

      • Pickwicknext

        Stuffing the cushions into the fucking slip covers right now. It’s making me want to stab someone. I have to go buy groceries after too! What a fun Sunday!

      • H0mer0

        they are always one vital screw short and so they stick in an extra 5 pieces of attachment or mounting hardware to get it thru QA/QC (like a baker’s dozen.)

      • Toomush_Infer

        so….slept on the floor, then?…

      • jmk

        Three days before giving birth, I was compelled to assemble about a thousand bucks worth of IKEA furniture, including our new bed, because Ex-Hub was incapable of following directions.

        I have never wanted a beer so badly as I did when I finally put down that Allen key.

        It can be done without libations…but my god, why would you want to?

  • SadDemInTex

    I believe that the Obama’s will prove to have had the best family life of any 20th or 21st century Presidential family. Thank you for this, Dok. A little light in the gloom that prevails in 2016.

    • Land Shark

      Amy Carter turned out pretty well, too. And even Chelsea Clinton.

      I think I’m seeing a pattern here …. but I’m not sure what the connection is ….

      • malsperanza

        Chelsea Clinton is actually a bit of a dick — a one-percenter who dropped $10 million on her NYC apartment, while explaining to the media that she doesn’t care much about money. But she may grow out of it.

        • Land Shark

          OK … new list:
          Chelsea Clinton WallStreeter
          Amy Carter
          Sasha & Malia Obama

          • Sasha and Malia are going to be Wall Streeters too. It’s a lot fairer to POC and women than is lily-white dudebro haven Silicon Valley, home to a high number of both Rand/Ron Paul and Bernie voters.

        • Ever try to get an apartment in downtown Manhattan? $10 million gets you what $2000/month gets you in San Francisco. Maybe.

          • malsperanza

            Believe me, I live here. $10 million is still big money, and if you’re going to buy an elite address for a ridiculous hyperinflated price, then you don’t get to natter about how your standards are democratic ones. I like her dad and mom a whole lot, but Chelsea can go drink a dick.

        • guppy06

          Before she turns 40?

      • Land Shark

        Amy Carter as a child with her cat, Misty Malarky Ying Yang.

        A Wonketteer!

      • shastakoala

        Orthadontics and good genes.

  • janecita

    Malia looks a lot like her beautiful mother, I don’t know who Sasha looks like, but she is also gorgeous.

    • Playonwords

      According to the loon-o-sphere probably Malcolm X from carefully preserved sperm.

      • janecita

        Or Saul Alinsky’s!

    • SnarkOff

      I think Malia looks exactly like POTUS!

      • janecita

        Maybe a little, I think that she also looks a little like her maternal grandmother. My two kids look nothing like us, people keep on saying that my daughter looks exactly like me, but I definitely don’t see it.

        • SnarkOff

          Your daughter looks like POTUS too. ;)

          • janecita

            Better him than the mailman!

    • zuzu

      She looks like Grandma Robinson.

    • H0mer0

      she looks more exotic, maybe she got some of her features from her paternal grandfather’s side. I love how she has her own style instead of trying to look like a carbon copy of Malia and Michelle.

    • trxr

      I think she looks by far the most like Ann Dunham. Facial shape, brows, shape of eyes and forehead. And she was a good-looking young woman, going by the photos.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Eh, maybe this goofy “millennial” generation will amount to something after all.

    Seriously, it’s a great thing when your kids are someones to be proud of.

  • Frank The Rat

    Needs more drunk Bush daughters. Because both sides.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      More cowbell, too. What’s a state dinner without cowbell?

      • Frank The Rat

        In RWNJ land they’re having (wet) dreams of the Tundra Grifter family birthday brawl with drunk Bristle being ass-dragged around the lawn. (Searching wonkette archives for stick figure artist’s rendering of the thrilla in Wasilla).

      • Sally Johnson

        Nope. Most Marines enlisted to get away from cowbells so none of them will serve in the Marine Corps band that does White House shows.

      • More_Cowbell

        Right here!

  • dslindc

    I’ve decided to endorse Barack Obama for President again this year. Particularly if we can keep the “No more fucks to give” Obama!

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      I want to see angry black Obama. Just once, please?

      • DemmeFatale

        OK.

      • SterWonk

        We saw a glimpse of it during last year’s Correspondents’ Dinner (… something that rhymes with “bucket list”), when even Luther the Anger Translator told him to calm down. It was glorious.

  • timpundit

    Beautiful girls in a beautiful family.

    • WeaselPoo

      Indeed

  • Vecciojohn LLC
    • Msgr_Moment

      Where was the Secret Service when that infant was gouging out his eyes in Prague? Hrnnnghh?!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      ZOMG! It’s nearly as bad as taking off his jacket in the Oval Office!

    • bobbert

      I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that never-before-seen picture before. Still cute,though.

  • lucidamente

    Hasn’t Trump tweeted out something about no-class, trashy Obama daughters yet?

  • Anarchy Pony

    How long until the posing like thugs jokes?

    • Mavenmaven

      I’m sure Breitbart is already on it. “Its a gang sign, etc”.

      • bozilingus

        Doesn’t 2 thumbs up mean “Kill Whitey”?

        • Anarchy Pony

          They’re obamas, everything they do secretly means kill whitey.

  • Relativicus

    I don’t see one person getting punched in any of those pictures. These are the people we chose to run this once great country?

    • SnarkOff

      Liberals are the true violent ones.

      • H0mer0

        and propagators of hate and racism, according to faux news

    • H0mer0

      or a camo thong

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Prolly dint have any wine koolers, neither. Losers.

  • Mavenmaven

    Malia 2046!

  • SnarkOff

    You know what’s kind of odd? All of the presidents for the last 20 years have only had daughters. BOTH PARTIES DO IT.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      George H. W. Bush taught them not to have sons.

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Dorothy? Dorothy Parker?

    • Major_Major_Major

      It’s a conspiracy. Won’t someone look out for us persecuted menfolk?!?!?!!11!

      • Pickwicknext

        We’re moving towards evolving parthenogenesis. Men will be a novelty!

        • Major_Major_Major

          I don’t know if I can even pretend that that would be a bad thing.

          • Pickwicknext

            There was a pretty funny mockumentary I saw about that topic last year at the Toronto Film Fest called “No Men Beyond This Point” I liked it better than the male friend I saw it with, but we both thought it was funny.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Didn’t some right-wing nitwit make a big deal about how Obama only has daughters because he’s a pussy, while Mitt Romney or some other fool had sons like a real man?

  • Major_Major_Major

    Lovely, I don’t know which I prefer, the Sasha “OMGOMGOMG” photo or the bored teens photo. For once, snark free, Thanks Obama.

    • 451 Byrnes

      “Thanks Obamas”.

      FTFY

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Beautiful dresses. But someone was careless because both gowns are too long. A lady should never have to hold up her skirts while walking on the level unless her dress was not hemmed properly or she is walking somewhere very dirty or muddy. Every good seamstress knows this. But it’s a minor detail and I don’t want to sound like a nit-picking critic, it’s just that it’s the first thing I noticed because I am a seamstress.

    • But Disney told me that’s the way a Princess’ dress is supposed to look!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Disney is run by men.

        • Land Shark

          with the fashion sense of trailer trash meth lab operators.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            And the artistic sense ditto. All the female lead characters look exactly the same lately – round baby faces with huge eyes, usually with dimples. It’s practically pedophilia.

    • WeaselPoo

      Quite so. Maybe a change of heels between fitting and wearing is the cause.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Possibly. But the odds that BOTH young ladies changed to lower shoes after their fittings are pretty low. The first thing I ask a customer when fitting a dress is “Are these the shoes you are going to wear to the event?” Normally girls this age are growing so fast that they have the opposite problem – they have gotten slightly taller since the dress was fitted.

    • Playonwords

      Ah …

      A seamstress ;-| paid your Guild dues to Mrs Palm? Remember she has the Agony Aunties on her side …

      • doktorzoom

        Now, now. Not everyone reads Pratchett. Their loss, of course.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Unpossible!

          • jmk

            For realz… he’s criminally underknown among many otherwise well-read folks. I have a degree in English Lit and had never heard of him until about 7 or 8 years ago.

          • Major_Major_Major

            I ran across him purely by chance about 10 years ago. My wife just randomly grabbed a book at the library from the new release section on her way to checkout. I couldnt have been happier.

          • jmk

            Years ago, when my online life began (in Yahoo Answers…yeah, yeah, I know, I know…), many of my contacts would talk about Discworld and these amazing characters, and I felt the need to go check his work out…and then Borders went out of business, and I scored about a bajillion of his books for a buck ninety-eight in their final sale. I felt like I’d hit the jackpot.

          • Zyxomma

            Okay, I’m convinced. I just ordered The Colour of Magic from the library.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I just finished The Colour of Magic. I’d read Going Postal and Small Gods and felt the need to go back and start at the beginning.

          • Bad Granny

            I’ve just recently started The Colour of Magic after years of badgering from grandpa. I casually said something about it and grandpa immediately perked up and said “One moment”, clicked around for a bit, handed me a page from the printer, and said “Read them in this order”. So now it’s mandatory, and he’s asking for frequent updates.

          • Jonny On Maui

            sheepishly…

            Could you forward that list?

          • Bad Granny

            Grandpa could, he has it in electronical form.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Is ok. My OCD will require reading in the order written…

          • doktorzoom

            Here’s one that’s broken down by both order of publication and by content/theme: http://www.lspace.org/books/reading-order-guides/

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you!

          • Major_Major_Major

            You will enjoy them. From a discworld standpoint, the Tiffany Aching (Wee Free Men) thread is also great for tweens. My oldest loved them when he was around 10 or 11. Many a crivens was heard around our house afterwards.

          • He’s too right. I love them all, but Colour was Pratchett finding his way around the Discworld, and not the best place to start reading.

        • SterWonk

          For the record, I haven’t read a word of Pratchett, and I still figured out it was a Discworld reference.

          In other news, I spend waaaay too much time at TVTropes, and water is wet.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Which was the novel where the one true seamstress was getting rich by doing actual sewing?

        • Playonwords

          Night Watch.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Nice, thanks. I’ll put that next on my list after rereading Raising Steam. The genius of Sir Terry, much like Heller, is that they get better with each reading.

        • bobbert

          Needlewoman, please.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I do not know what you are talking about.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Terry Pratchett’s discworld novels. The guild of “seamstresses” are the ladies of negotiable affection.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Ah, thanks for the explanation.

          • Major_Major_Major

            I highly recommend all of his novels. Kinda, sorta like Douglas Adams but fantasy rather than sci-fi. His satire is spot-on.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Thanks for the recommendation. I’m afraid fantasy is not my genre, but I will pass your recommendation on to my friends who enjoy it. Using the word “genre” makes me sound snobby, but how often does one actually get to use “genre” in a comment? Hardly ever, so I’m grabbing this chance, LOL

          • John Smith

            Genre are my milieu!

          • bobbert

            Actually, the topical satire is a bigger part of the enjoyment than is the fantasy.

        • Playonwords

          Sorry, Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Guild of Seamstresses Motto NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE

          Also Seattle

          … during Seattle’s earlier days, brothels were illegal, so prostitutes would list their jobs as “Seamstresses” when the cops came calling. During a period of minimal city revenues, it was required that Seattle prostitutes possess a “Seamstress license,” and these fees became a major source of revenue for the city.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            In Victorian England they often masqueraded as milliners. Ladies’ hat shops were a common cover for brothels, and there were a LOT of hat shops.

          • doktorzoom

            Why am I not the least bit surprised that Sir Pterry was sneaking a genuine historical reference in with that…?

          • Ok – I NEVER knew that about “hat shops”. Funny that Shaw put Eliza Dolittle in one in his original epilogue to Pygmalion. I wonder if he was trolling?

    • malsperanza

      I love that photo – they are still learning how to walk in one of those insane dresses. It take lots of practice to not break your neck on the red carpet.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It is a nice photo, I agree. Young ladies in their first ball gowns, it’s a special moment. It wasn’t my first ball gown that gave me trouble, it was my first high heels. I’d been wearing “princess” gowns since I was 4 years old, so handling a long skirt was familiar territory, but heels are another story.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This post sent me down the “presidential offspring” rabbit hole (all the way back to Nixon), and y’know, the kids are all right. Chelsea’s a little bit of a tool, but that’s ok.

    • blaid droog

      For chelsea, it’s just family tradition.

  • The double thumbs up picture is adorable.

    That is all.

    • Playonwords

      As noted below by bozilingus, 2 thumbs up means “kill whitey”

    • Doug Langley

      Uh-oh!! “Two thumbs up” has been copyrighted by Siskell and Ebert. Here comes the lawsuit!

  • BetsyBleedingheart

    I like how the girls are sort of gently coordinated with their mother. Like the dresses aren’t matchy-matchy but they look very nice together. This is a skill I completely lack.

  • Big Puppy

    These two are adorable. Thanks, Dok, for going Happy Grandpa on this and for the Cosmo link, both of which remind us that they’re still kids.

  • Markuserektus

    I doubt we shall see this kind of class ever again…

  • Toomush_Infer

    There’s something so genuinely heartwarming about these photos – their eyes are thoughtful, intelligent, and not unkind….I think back to the days of those mean little snots who were their predecessors, and the clubby backstabbing nature of those parents…

    • Markuserektus

      Their faces seem to have sort of a ’50’s freshness, unencumbered by twenty first century desperation.

  • Valkyrie

    I actually got tears in my eyes. Democrats produce some fine presidential daughters.

    • hollydturner

      Caroline! The very embodiment.

  • glennisw

    Sweet!

  • malsperanza

    I spent about half of yesterday futzing around on websites looking at and reposting those photos, and the one of Mom and Dad Obama in their stylish stylings, showing those fucking Reagans what actual, real glamour looks like, and how It. Is. Done.

    Between these pix and a lot of cute baby animal videos, by evening I managed to get past the shit-ton of revolting crap about Hillary Clinton’s supposed dissing of All Teh Gays, and the descent of anti-Trump protests into the festering pit of Trumpism.

    Thanks, Obamas!

  • NotConvinced

    Malia carries herself with confidence and RADIATES beauty. Sasha who seemed so shy before is really coming out of her shell . The picture of Sasha with Ryan Reynolds is very cool. And Malia ecouraging her lil sister is so cute.

  • Zippy

    Nice kids. It amazes me the amount of hate this family engenders. I get disagreeing with his policies, with his political philosophy, but the visceral hatred the whole family receives is inexplicable. They’re a good looking bunch who obviously all love each other- a storybook example of a happy, decent family- he and they are everything the haters on the right claim to want and demand of others, yet they hate him with the heat of a thousand suns. And yet they’ll deny that it’s their bigotry or extreme tribalism that drives them. I truly don’t understand it…

    • eddi

      The Obamas display poise, intelligence and humor. Three things Rebs despise snce they have none and can barely fake them in public. One shudders to imagine their private lives and the fate of heir wives and children.

      • zerosumgame0005

        they hate it because they cannot find anyone to fake that enough to get elected

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        No need to imagine it: the Palin and Duggar clans are right there in plain view.

        • eddi

          And both shameless and clueless.

    • zerosumgame0005

      cusz they’uns is alls uppity and stuff just cuze theys daddy isn’t their uncle and momma ain’t theys cousin and he is one of them edumacted black fellas so it jest ain’t FAIR! and she tell us to eat VEGITABLS! and we hate hate hate vegitables almost as much as black skin!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Blah.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s not inexplicable. They are blah. That’s reason enough for the Drumpfenproles to hate them. They are, in the immortal word of Rep Lynn Westmoreland, R-Ga, “uppity.”

    • ViveLaRes

      The crazed fury that a black family is in the White House fanned the Teatard flames that spewed forth the Trumpanzees. I have the lost-causer trailer trash relatives in Alabama to prove it.

    • Gerald Parks

      white supremacist ideology is the father and the source of American racism!

      250+ years of American history where both have been codified into law and ingrained into every aspect of social interaction makes it hard to understand why an American doesn’t “understand”.

      Yet, even THAT can be explained.

      We as Americans are often willfully ignorant of OUR shared and well documented history of racism. All the while participating in a “collective” amnesia of even current and ongoing events.

      • Zippy

        Oh, I understand all too well that it’s racism that drives these people and I also understand that it is ongoing and has become systemic and ingrained. What I don’t understand is WTF must be wrong in these people’s heads to embrace that racism.

        • Gerald Parks

          Zippy …we and THEY are in the fish bowl aka USA.

          For the most part …far too many don’t know that they don’t know.

          Here’s a link that can shed some light on the subject from Slate
          http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/cover_story/2016/03/how_donald_trump_happened_racism_against_barack_obama.3.html

          The links in the article are also very good.

          Enjoy

        • malsperanza

          The rule is: black people are not supposed to do well until after all the white people get theirs. That’s the rule. So “uppity” doesn’t begin to cover it. Every time they see the happiness, the well-adjustedness, the family love, the poise, the meeting movie stars, the privilege, it stings. It stings that black people are sometimes doing ok while their mortgage is under water. It stings that Michelle Obama gets to be a high-end lawyer and wear designer gowns while they shop at Target. (Not by accident did Michelle score her first big popular hit by wearing J. Crew off the rack.) They would be far less angry and venomous if the Obamas fulfilled their expectations and were slutty, stupid, and inept.

          • wavicles

            Busheses

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “They’re a good looking bunch who obviously all love each other- a storybook example of a happy, decent family.”

      Imagine you’re Sarah Palin, with spawn like Trix and Track and Truck and Gristle, looking at this bunch. Now you know why the hate.

  • Manhattan123

    Now come on, they’re not the only classy presidential daughters…

    • AnOuthouse

      Those were the days. I kind of miss them. No, not really. Not at all.

  • Greg Comlish

    I’m going to save my remarks until July 4 when Malia becomes 18. I think that day will somehow be a more appropriate occasion to give my unvarnished praise of this blossoming young woman, especially as it coincides with our national holiday celebrating freedom, great legs, and independence.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Malia shares a birthday with Stephen Foster. How weird is that?

      • Iam Reading

        As weird as anything else with a 1 in 365 chance

    • guppy06

      The age of consent in DC is 16.

      (Don’t ask why I know that.)

      • hollydturner

        Oh, come on…Why do you know that?

        • guppy06

          Ummmmmmm… because of an online, populist source!

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_the_United_States

          Addendum: you can still get nailed for things like “contributing to the delinquency of a minor.” And it’s a federal rap to bring a 16 or 17 year-old in from Virginia for (conensual) sexytimes, as it’s 18 across the Potomac.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The age of consent at the White House is a fuck of a lot higher, and there are a lot of people hanging out there with big guns.

  • CripesAmighty

    Thanks for the Turkey Troll redux. It was brilliant. Frankly, I thought Sasha and Malia displayed Herculean restraint in the face of the maelstrom of hokum unleashed by the President.

    Caption:
    5 minutes earlier: “Hey, Michelle–Watch this…”

  • proudgrampa

    What beautiful, lovely girls. I would be proud to be their grampa.

  • Shibusa

    Glad they didn’t go with the alternative dress designer, in honor of the Canadian guests:
    http://i.huffpost.com/gen/2522526/thumbs/o-MISS-UNIVERSE-PAGEANT-570.jpg?4

    • miss universe and eurovision are my 2nd and 3rd favorite events of the year.

    • brittany

      O.M.G.
      Is the scoreboard part of her headdress?

  • LadyLaz

    Gorgeous young ladies. We had a lovely family in the white house

  • RobKanC

    And we are going to replace this with what’s his orange face. Sad state of affairs.

    • Enfant Terrible

      An ambulatory weasel pelt with the hots for his daughter. Ewwww!

    • hollydturner

      Nope, we are not going to do that! We are going to replace this wonderful family with a woman. You’ll have to forgive my over the top bias. I’m a grandmother and a mother of two fabulous women.

      • RobKanC

        I wish I could believe you but we are talking about a electorate that unleashed W. Jr. On the world twice.

        • hollydturner

          I believe we are witnessing the slo-mo crash and burn of Donald aka The Moron Trump. Even the worst of the worst inside the electorate are seeing him for what he is, a fascist tyrant who condones violence against the American public.

          • RobKanC

            That’s what my friend keeps telling me as well. But pardon me if I don’t believe it until I see the results in actual polls.

          • hollydturner

            Don’t misunderstand, I know how you feel. I’m surprised or more to the point disgusted that there are so many people in this country that think this asshole is capable of being the president. That’s what I find disturbing. He’s made us a laughingstock and the people that idolize/adore him don’t realize they would be sailing on the Titanic that’s already hit the iceberg.

          • RobKanC

            I understand and I am disturbed too. But I am not surprised at this at all. The GOP played a very dangerous game using Obamacare and this is the logical conclusion of that play. Everyone saw it coming a mile away. But of course the party of personal responsibility will never take that. At this point I just hope that the young uns would have enough sense to come out and vote for the democratic nominee even though they don’t fully support her/him. And wish they would also turn up in non presidential years to keep the crazies at bay.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            The youngins, the oldins, the middleins, and anywhere in between. From your post to the spagetti monster’s sauce clad tentacles, ramen.

          • RobKanC

            Let his noodly appendage guide us. Ramen brother.

          • bbayliss

            No poop, perlock.

        • bbayliss

          That was NOT the electorate.

          • fgbndslndr

            Thanks for pointing that out. It can’t be said often enough.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Same electorate that put Obama in the White House. Twice.
          Hard to believe, innit?

          • RobKanC

            yes and the very electorate that also elected a republican congress, thrice.

        • kev

          i don’t think it’s proper to describe five members of the supreme as an “electorate”.

        • uniquename72

          And now we’ll do it all over again with Hills “Bomb every country with brown people in it” Clinton.

          • RobKanC

            mmmm.. I must have missed the campaign promise from Clinton that said she is going to bomb the middle east.

      • Be Gin

        G’wan wit’cha granny! Have a Happy Saint Patricks day and toast all the beeyooteeefull women in all of our lives!

        • hollydturner

          Here Here! Erin Go Bra! – totally annihilated that but you know what I mean.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Say, you know which President’s kids *didn’t* turn out so good?

    Lemmee answer that: George Herbert Walker Bush. Poor Poppy.

    • D_C_Wilson

      I seem to remember Dubya’s kids being a bit of an embarrassment, too.

      • shastakoala

        Yeah but it was so much fun watching them on that episode of “Cops”.

      • fgbndslndr

        In fairness, had W been my father, I might have taken to drink, myself. In that family, I’d say Dad was by far the bigger embarrassment.

      • malsperanza

        I think they more or less straightened out. The ones who were truly wretched were Nixon’s sad, wan, watery daughters.

        • Enfant Terrible

          Jenna and Barbara have indeed straightened out. Jenna is a teacher and an author and Barbara runs a non-profit that works on medical access for everyone. They both do charitable work. Good quality charities too. None of that grift-y shit that you-know-who is into.

        • Be Gin

          Their father was NIXON.

          Obviously, life saw fit to punish them from day one. Who are we to argue with life?

  • hollydturner

    The Obama’s have done everything right in, well, everything. These girls are fabulously adorable and gorgeous.

  • D_C_Wilson

    Dear Donald:

    This is what the word “classy” really means. You’ve been using it wrong.

  • SDGeoff

    So, so classy.

  • Starfish

    You say they are Obamas daughters but has anyone actually seen the birth certificates?

  • Upright Ape

    Damn….alright, good genetics and all. Gorgeous parents. But damn.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    And Republican Gollum–the G in G-O-P–just haaaaaaates our Preciouseses. es.

  • Colin

    Thanks for a sweet article.

  • fgbndslndr

    Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset… Poor President Dad. Great pictures. I love the “don’t trip, don’t trip” – but especially the one with… Ah, yes – Kim Catrall.

  • Blender_415

    No, no, REALLY. A friend of mine just read this over my shoulder and screamed at the screen: WHY DIDN’T MICHELLE OBAMA GIVE BIRTH TO MEEEEEEEEE????”

    • Be Gin

      We get to pick our noses, not our parents.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Where has the time gone?

    The time has gone with an entire Congress full of Republican shitweasels denying that their Dad has any legitimacy whatsoever because of the color of his skin.

    Of course, we continue the grand tradition of showing that Democratic politicians are much better parents than Republican politicians despite that “Family Values” bullshit.

  • Darkrose

    Malia and Sasha are so awesome and I just want to cry because they’re smart and classy and obviously love their parents who adore them and it’s just…*sniffles*

    It makes me glad that my mother got to see a family that looked like ours in the White House; I wish my dad could have.

  • LarkintheAM

    What a lovely article, Dok – thank you!

  • Dolmance

    I can smell the teen spirit.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    They have done a remarkably good job of negotiating the past 8 years with grace and dignity. Just guessing here, but I assume they are very intelligent and gracious young ladies. It isn’t much of a stretch, considering their parents and their upbringing.

    So it about time for Donald Trump’s fave guy Dukes to attack them, right? It isn’t as if we have the slightest clue that the KKK is just a tiny bit off.

  • Victoria Gibson

    “my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….

    two days ago new Mc.Laren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Hereoi!153➤➤➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsPage/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:::::oi!153…..

  • NoGoodnik

    Don’t you just love the first family? Don’t the Obama’s seem like just the swellest family of them all? I’m so proud of them and their relationship and glad to have them leading the country. They seem so wholesome, so real.

  • Obama Obama 2036

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