Let us go and sell our wares to the wonkers, fellow, what what ho!
Are You A Jerb-Creating Businesswoman Entrepreneur Friend Of Wonkette? Man, You Must Be Awesome
Are you a Wonker with a business haw haw as if, tell it on your OBAMAPHONE! Or if the answer is yes, and you are a real Wonker for real, like you get at least a third of our dumb jokes about #butts, maybe you need to advertise your wares to your dumboncrat Wonkette community, for them to order your thing for untold riches (of love)!
We will shove you in a special slot called "Friends of Wonkette For Real" and then the Terrible Ones will know to buy your "hula" "hoop," or your vegan non-alcoholic John Boehner soap, and you will give us a healthy percentage that is fair and that you will like. We can also place links to your item in our WonketteBazaar! The more wonqerenos who do this, the fewer suck ads of grossness we will have to run in order to not sex-traffic ourselves.
Check out our advertising page for more info, or just write to us at advertising@wonkette.com and when you say jump, we will say "HOW HIGH (are you right now, just kidding, advertising on Wonkette.com is the super best funnest way to go!)."
In conclusion, give us some money.
Love,
Wonket
It's hard. Harder because my sons ended up disabled...BUT smart and wonderful. So I literally have to look at the good. Because if they were not disabled but horrible selfish people, that would break my heart more, I think.
Oh yeah. I forgot. I was filled with Wonkette-subsidized beer and feeling all superior and shit. I may have changed my tiny mind.