Something something Coppers, something something Passion
In Jacksonville, Florida, a couple on the run from the law -- or at least cornered by the SWAT team as they hid inside a mobile home -- decided that certain things had to be checked off the ol' bucket list before they turned themselves in to the cops. Which is to say, they kept the police waiting while they had carnal relations (the couple, not the police).
WESH-TV reports, with a completely straight face:
Police tell local media they responded Wednesday night to a Jacksonville mobile home in search of 34-year-old Ryan Patrick Bautista, who was wanted on several warrants. Bautista and 30-year-old Leanne Hunn were holed up in the mobile home, leading to a standoff.
Yes, they were holed up all right. Police said that the fugitives refused to respond to attempts to contact them for about 45 minutes. At some point in the tense standoff, "Hunn told police over the phone that she would give up, but that she wanted to have sex with Bautista 'one last time.'" Who says romance is dead? We'll assume that the offenses Mr. Bautista was wanted for weren't too serious, given that it's Florida and the police didn't simply bust the door down. Or perhaps they politely deferred to the sticker on the door reading "If This Trailer's Rockin', Don't Bother Knockin'." It's also not entirely clear why the police waited 45 minutes, although we suppose that they may have been arguing over who got the binoculars next.
This is not Florida's first law-enforcement brush with Criminal Fucking; as we reported in May, a Florida Man was sentenced to 15 years in prison for doing sex on the beach with his significant other, in public, which seems a tad harsh. And then there was the Florida Man who was busted in a prostitution sting when he attempted to use a salad to pay an undercover officer for sex. At least Bautista and Hunn had the good taste to keep their illicit love behind closed doors and very flimsy walls.
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Thankfully, Ms. Hunn had never heard of the old "gun-in-the-cooter" trick, and the standoff ended peacefully; the couple eventually gave themselves up after the arrival of SWAT team negotiators. The WESH-TV report is annoyingly unclear on whether Bautista and Hunn had finished by that time or whether the negotiators took tactical psy-ops action calculated to negate their libido, such as setting up loudspeakers to broadcast the most recent Republican primary debate.
[ WESH-TV via Miami Herald Tip o' the Leather Kitten Headgear to Wonkette Operative "Schmannity" ]
There is always time for love I say.
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OT - via Disqus News ViewsAre we looking at a Trump-Carson Ticket?
Donald Trump and Ben Carson threatened CNBC that they will boycott the October 28th debate if the network does not change their format. CNBC has scheduled a two hour debate with a total of four commercials and no opening or closing statements. In other words, the candidates will have nothing but questions to answer. Trump argued that extending the debate time was only a ploy to sell more commercials.
If the Republicans have lost David Brooks should they shut up shop and go home?
David Brooks ... suggests that the current incarnation of the Republican party has "degraded slowly, over the course of a long chain of rhetorical excesses, mental corruptions and philosophical betrayals. Basically, the party abandoned traditional conservatism for right-wing radicalism."Brooks writes, "These insurgents are incompetent at governing and unwilling to be governed. But they are not a spontaneous growth. It took a thousand small betrayals of conservatism to get to the dysfunction we see all around."