Move over, Paul Anka. There is a new pro-life anthem in town, and not a minute too soon because “You’re Having My Baby” came out over 40 years ago! Let’s remind ourselves of the glory and perfection that was the song about how Paul Anka is super glad his woman did not put a coathanger to the fruit of his jism:
But is it great enough to be better than this new greatest please-mommy-don’t-bort-me musical sextravaganza from, apparently, Ben Shapiro’s dad? Fuuuuuuuuck no it’s not!
Wait, you are asking, because you don’t come here often, who is Ben Shapiro please? Well, he is a terrible person who is so awful that the night his daughter was born (Molotov, Ben!), he announced her birth with a tweet ragging on President Barack Obama, because PRIORITIES. (Also, he is a bigot, are you just knocked over with surprise?)
So, Ben Shapiro’s dad, who it seems is named “David Shapiro Music,” has a new song about fetal heartbeats and good decent hetero straight women proud of being good-decent-hetero-straight-married to their husbands and it has lots of stock photos of big stretched out veiny bellies what ain’t got no buttons, and multicultural cute babbies and just look at that classy manicure and that classy stubble, that is some sweet sweet straight-hetero romantic stockphoto, right there.