Jon Stewart is just as flummoxed by the Secret Service's recent string of screw-ups as anyone else, and the details of the Omar Gonzales's fence-jumping and unguided White House tour just left him all the more astonished. The Secret Service didn't release dogs, for instance, because they were worried the dogs might attack agents.
"Sounds strange," he explained, "But it makes more sense when you find out that a lot of Secret Service agents are cats." But then there's the fact that an alarm at the front entrance had been disabled because it was annoying White House staffers. "You can't do that!" Stewart exploded. "You can't just turn off the alarm because it's irritating! This is the White House, not a '97 Honda Civic that's parked on your block at 3 a.m."
This is some good old fashioned Jon Stewart yelling at incredible stupidity -- and he doesn't even need to bring in Fox News this time. Watch. Enjoy.
Jon Stewart Literally Disembowels Secret Service, Feeds It To Unused Guard Dogs (Video)
<blockquote>&ldquo;Sounds strange,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;But it makes more sense when you find out that a lot of Secret Service agents are cats.&rdquo;</blockquote>
Actually, this explains a lot, like complete lack of regard for the safety of anybody but themselves, the dislike of loud alarm noises, and the constant horking up furballs.
<em>But then there&rsquo;s the fact that an alarm at the front entrance had been disabled because it was annoying White House staffers.</em>
Wait, what?
Here&#039;s a better, cheaper, safer solution. They&#039;re called &quot;earplugs&quot;.