Hey ladies, how are you screwing up your children today? Are you smothering them? You are probably smothering them. Are you neglecting them, with your whoring at your “job”? You are probably doing that too. Are you turning them all into little homicidal maniacs, with, we dunno, welfare fraud? OF COURSE YOU ARE, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! But Pat Robertson has one more way you are ruining your kids, and you probably hadn’t even considered it: your kid is deaf because you don’t pray good enough. For real, lady, why do you go and make your kids deaf like that?
Responding to a question from a mother who asked why her hearing impaired son hasn’t been healed despite her prayers, Robertson said that her son may be hindered by a “spirit of deafness.”
“I have dealt with people who are deaf and you rebuke the spirit of deafness and they get healed,” Robertson said. “I don’t know what you’re doing wrong.”
“Why don’t you try that and if it doesn’t work, try something else,” he said.
That is some pretty perfect advice: if rebuking the spirit of deafness doesn’t make your deaf kid undeaf, “try something else.” What are some other things these moms who made their kids deaf could try?
- Seeing a doctor who specializes in deafness.
- Getting the child fitted for a hearing aid.
- Learning sign language and teaching your child to navigate a difficult world for those with disabilities.
- Beating the deafness out of him, for the lord.