Glenn Beck has decided that his favorite conservative anthem is now "War: What Is It Good For? (Absolutely Nothin')." You see, Glenn had a moment of revelation: This whole Syria thing, man, it's just about the oil, you know? (Syria doesn't have that much oil, really, but don't stop him, he's on a roll). And war? Oh, man, war is the worst, man, the ultimate bummer trip, you know? On his Monday program, Beck shared his insights (possibly the result of a peyote-fueled vision quest with a shaman) and laid on his audiencethis heavy message, telling viewers that
he used to support the idea of toppling dictators and spreading democracy ... until he realized "that was progressive thinking ...
That's why I'm against war," Beck said, "because it's a progressive idea."
Far out. We were kind of hoping he'd explain what he meant, but the video just ended there and he went on to something else, so we'll guess it's all about Woodrow Wilson somehow. Progressivism: It's whatever Glenn Beck doesn't like at any given moment.
Glenn Beck Turns Hippie Peacenik, 'Cause War Is A Progressive Trip, Man
God Damn if that guy isn't slick as a snake fart.
Oooh, ooooh, I know the one: <em>I am waiting for Vizzini!</em>