WE CAN HAZ SOCIALIST HEALTH CARE  2:40 pm September 5, 2013

Sorry, Republicans, But Socialist Jobs-Killing Just-Like-The-Holocaust Obamacare To Be Cheaper And Better Than Predicted

by Kaili Joy Gray

But just think of the savings!Oh GAWD, nooooooooooo! Disaster! Catastrophe! Other words that mean bad stuff! This is terrible news:

A leading health policy research organization reported “lower than expected” premiums for ObamaCare’s new insurance exchanges in a major study released Thursday. [...]

“Fifteen of the eighteen rating areas we examined have premiums below this level, suggesting that the cost of coverage for consumers and the federal budgetary cost for tax credits will be lower than anticipated.”

No, wait a sec, that is AWESOME news! Unless you are a Republican, of course, and your entire raison d’ĂȘtre freedom reason is trying to repeal — and repeal and repeal and repeal and repeal — Obamacare before everyone finds out how lower premiums and fewer restrictions are, like, a good thing. Just how good? Soooooooo all kinds of good:

In Baltimore, for example, a 25-year-old will pay $179 per month for the second lowest cost “silver” plan and $115 per month for the cheapest available option, the lowest cost “bronze” plan.

Those monthly premiums drop to $144 and $80, respectively, when researchers assumed that the 25-year-old was eligible for a tax credit based on an income of $25,000 per year.

Of course, this new study does not take into account that Obamacare is totally racist against untan people or how it’s pretty much exactly like what Hitler did to the Jewishes. Or how some of the provisions, like free birth control, will turn your daughters into sluts. Bet the stupid Kaiser Family Foundation didn’t factor in all of that.

Thank god some Republicans are still trying real hard to protect our freedoms by making it as hard as possible for people to get their greedy little moocher hands on that sweet, sweet government health care. And explaining to us dumb rubes how IRSghazigate proves we must DEFUND! And holding weekly strategy sessions to figure out how many times they must vote to repeal Obamacare in order to repeal Obamacare. (They don’t know yet, but turns out 40 is not the answer.)

Keep it up, fellas. Your futile attempts to protect us from having lower insurance premiums is definitely the most important thing you could be doing right now. (That Syria stuff is sooooooooo boring, right Grandpa McCain?) And besides, it’s what Thomas Jesus Jefferson would have wanted.

[The Hill]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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