rosemary gets her hospital billAmerica is the best country in the world for reasons that we’ve gone over many times before. Our Vice Presidents shoot people in the face for no reason. We make and deploy sky robots all over the world to kill people who didn’t even do anything. And our testicles are so big that they can’t even fit in our pants all the time and have to dangle unimpeded from the trailer hitches of our enormous trucks.

Clearly, Americans are awesome. Probably we are awesome because our babies cost more money than babies anywhere else on earth and the free market thus blesses us from the day we are born. Our babies even cost more than the new royal baby, whose market value at this point is only a paltry $15,000:

royal baby cost

What’s WRONG here? Pfft! Look lady, there is nothing “wrong” here; on the contrary, everything is RIGHT. The free market has decided that even the lowliest American baby is worth more than dumb baby George, and as we all learn in Econ 101, the invisible hand is never wrong, not even when it’s pulling a $30,000 baby out of an uninsured womb.

This chart, meanwhile, shows different figures for the value of global births, but does maintain US Amercia’s status as NUMBER ONE!!1!

normal delivery

In conclusion, baby George better step up his game if he’s going to compete with American babies, since he’s already thousands and thousands behind.

[Washington Post]

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