the wrath from high atop the thing

Watch Liz Warren School Some CNBC Doofuses With Facts ‘N’ History

So here is a clip of Yr Wonkette’s Imaginary BFF Elizabeth Warren making the hosts of CNBC’s Squawk Box look like the pikers that they are. It’s like watching a clip from The West Wing, only better, because this lady is actually in the Senate and making things happen, like cosponsoring a bill to reinstate some parts of Glass-Steagall. It’s probably the best takedown of a bunch of chat-show idiots since that one time that Jon Stewart made Jim Cramer cry.

Best moment? When Warren dismisses one of the squawking heads’ contention that we should “just tell the American consumer that no matter what we do, there will be bank boom and bust cycles, no matter what the laws and regulations. You can’t protect everything.” And then, the professorial, fact-laced refutation:

No. That is just wrong. Look at the history. From 1797 to 1933, the American banking system crashed about every fifteen years. In 1933 we put good reforms in place, for which GS was the centerpiece. And from 1933 to the early 1980’s, that’s a fifty year period, we didn’t have any of that, none. We kept the system steady and secure. And it was only as we started deregulating…you start hitting the S&L crisis, and what did we do, we deregulated some more. And then you hit long term capital management at the end of the 90’s, and what did we do as a country, this country continued to deregulate more. And then we hit the big crash in 2008. You are not going to defend the proposition that regulation can never work if it did work.

In a nice Sorkinesque turn, the Squawker — who all of one minute prior to this said boom-bust cycles are inevitable, “no matter what” — insists he never said regulation can’t work. And then he changes the subject.

And then the lady squawker brings up the fatal flaw in Warren’s proposal: Republicans are even more pigheaded than CNBC hosts, so why bother? Good point, Squawker lady! Silly Liz Warren, why would you think that you can change anything? Be a realist and introduce something that can pass, and nothing ever will!

But Liz Warren managed to get the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to be a thing, you know, and she wasn’t even a senator yet when that happened, so she is quite prepared to kick some ass this time around, too.

We really like this Elizabeth Warren Show, and can’t wait for the next episode. We just hope they don’t do some dumb plot twist for sweeps week, like having an evil twin show up. Also, maybe the writers could do something about those news anchor characters, because it’s just not plausible for professional teevee journalists to be that dumb.


About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
What Others Are Reading


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!