welcome to the fema camps

B. Hussein Obama’s Secret Plan To Make Your Guns Into Chinese Jeeps


In case you we wondering, Barack HUSSEIN Obama totally plans to take away your guns now that he has his second term. But you knew that already, right? Everyone knew that was Obama’s plan. Otherwise, it will be awfully hard to ship the teabaggers to the Agenda 21 approved, Sharia FEMA Camps if they are shooting back at the UN/ATF/Basij shock troops.

So, yeah, there are many good and practical reasons to confiscate all the guns in America—except those belonging the jackbooted federal agents and drug dealers—before Obama literally changes America as we know it.

However, there is a deeper motive for taking every God-fearing heartland American’s most prized possession, the limited edition Dale Earnhardt memorial bar mirror and Freedom Tray expected. Guns are made of steel (or metal, whatever) and our nation’s firearms stockpile accounts for a huge reserve of valuable metal. China wants all that metal. To build Jeeps.

Many years ago in Saul Alinsky’s madrassa, Obama cut a deal with George Soros whereby Obama would get himself elected to a second term as president and confiscate all the guns. Then he gives the guns to Soros, who melts them down and sells the metal to China for pennies on the dollar.

Obama gets a disarmed populace he can easily herd into FEMA Camps, Soros gets a tidy profit, and China gets cheap metal to build Jeeps. The Chinese will sell those Jeeps back to the U.S. government so FEMA Camp commandants can patrol their facilities in the style befitting agents of the Third World failed state regime that Obama envisions.

Probably this is why Obama had Mittens at the White House yesterday. Obama, a black, was all like: “The Greek [Soros] has a sweet metal connect, I’m talking the raw, to sell to China. Keep your crew in line on this gun thing and Bain gets a piece of that action. We co-op”

Romney, though confused by Stinger’s Obama’s “street lingo” and unable to recognize obvious Wire references, likely grasped the profit potential of Obama’s pitch and readily agreed. Typical Massachusetts moderate.

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About the author

Jeff Wattrick is someone whose unsolicited submissions accidentally get published on Wonkette. He also writes for Deadline Detroit, which is this thing on the internet about the Motor City.

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22 comments

  1. mustangsavvy

    Have you noticed how every wingnut theory on Bamz Super Secret Agenda to Destroy America is convoluted, senseless, implausible and just involves way too many people? What the hell? Can't they come up with something neat and concise? Oh right – delusions are funny like that.

  2. tessiee

    I didn't watch the video, nor do I propose to, but that's obviously Bill Lundbergh.
    "Yeahhh, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday and hand over your guns…"

  3. Veritas78

    I wish the White House would release the secret emails between Wayne and Barack confirming that Wayne's been in on the plan to seize America's guns all along.

  4. ttommyunger

    You think this is fucked up? I'm getting fb posts of videos laboriously explaining in Biblical chapter and verse how Bammers is: Satan and The Anti-Christ. Some people just have way too much free time on their hands.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      The true cost of high unemployment: the country is going to be fucked if we don't get these loons back to work. Even a job shoveling manure* is enough to fully occupy their minds.

      *Actual manure – not the stuff they're currently shoveling.

      1. ttommyunger

        My fear is that they are being paid to come up with shit.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  5. Biel_ze_Bubba

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    I’m supposed to tell ‘em what I did to make all but 4 comments disappear? I clicked on a fricking link elsewhere on this site. Sorry!

  6. Biel_ze_Bubba

    The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

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    I'm supposed to tell 'em what I did to make all but 4 comments disappear? I clicked on a fricking link elsewhere on this site. Sorry!

  7. BoatOfVelociraptors

    Clearly the NRA/Tea Party Intelligentsia are missing out on the obvious proof of Obama’s grand plan. Obama’s failure to live up to their predictions during his first term proves not that they were wrong, but that Obama already KNEW that the election was rigged and that he was going to be elected to a second term (also third, fourth, and fifth terms).

    The fix was in from the beginning, democracy never had a chance. Now that everyone has been lulled into a false sense of security, Obama will infiltrate the US with UN troops who will collect every patriot’s weapons, and then the Christian de-programming/euthanasia camps will open…

  8. criticaldragon

    I only watched about a minute of the video and already Wayne LaPierre had been proven wrong. Obama won reelection despite anything his organization may have done to stop him. Gun owners were not the deciding factor in this election, unless most gun owners supported Obama.

    1. Starburster

      Thats the thing about the NRA, they arent running for office. Mr. LaPierre and his group (not to mention gun manufacturers), in fact, are more successful with Dems in power. The economy in general does significantly better under Democratic admins.

  9. Starburster

    I dont know why you're trying to hide the fact that our obviously ethnic 'president', would have the Chinese build Cadillacs for his FEMA camp tours.

  10. Biel_ze_Bubba

    LaPierre is a first-class nutjob, and he's hijacked the NRA (and its millions of dollars) for his own crazed right-wing agenda. Someone needs to write a long and very interesting expose entitled "What Happened to the NRA?"

  11. BadKitty904

    Wayne LaPierre!
    Sure sounds Frenchy.
    Should he Americanize and Masculinize his name alredy?

    Would there be anything wrong with
    Wayne thePeter “heading” up a bunch of manly men?

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