Dispatches From The FEMA Camps: Barack Obama’s Brave New World Will Not Have Applebees, Vinyl Siding

The most important thing to know about the FEMA Camps, where we will be soon living now that Barack HUSSEIN Obama secured his second term by giving gifts to browns and poors and slutty youngs, is density. The image of FEMA Camps as these desolate concentration camps is actually wrong. In reality, these encampments will be Agenda 21-compliant model cities.

You and your family will have your own dwelling, but it will be small. Think of the average-size McMansion that all job creators strive for. Now, imagine the space where, back when this was a free country, that McMansion would have had a “great room.” That is where another family’s house will be. The second floor will be, instead of bedrooms and a master bath, homes for like six more families. Instead of spreading out these homes over a completely illogical series of cul-de-sacs, as the market demands, they will be arranged on a centrally-planned grid.

Everything will be pedestrian friendly and “sustainable.” Back when Obama was at that Kenyan madrassa, Saul Alinsky taught him that sustainability is the key to making everything socialist. There will be plentiful sidewalks and bike lanes because no one except for camp commandants will have cars. Commandants will have Chinese-made Jeeps for patrol purposes only.

Residents will have the option of taking FEMA light rail trollies to jobs — provided they join the FEMA union — making windmill components and solar panels for Solyndra, or at the camp’s Planned Parenthood Abortionplex. That place will always need workers because Obama’s second term totally means a One Couple/One Child policy for white people.

What you won’t see at the FEMA Camps are the strip malls, chain restaurants, and cul-de-sac faux-neighborhoods that our Founding Fathers intended. No churches or synagogues either, but plenty of mosques. And all restaurants and grocery stores will be vegan co-ops.

Now, you Wonketteers are probably thinking: “This sounds like the most magical socialist paradise ever and I can’t wait, but there’s no way people who love their Red Robin bottomless fries and vinyl houses with stucco facades will tolerate this glorious UN-planned desecration of American values.

Perhaps that would be a probably for a less Muslim-Socialist demagogue. Fortunately, Dear Leader Obama is very smart. How do you think he managed to get all those black votes in Maine? For this project, he has an even more diabolical way to force his will upon the sheeple Americans. Two words: Mind Control. Some guy named Chip Searcy recently explained the whole thing to the Georgia Senate Republican caucus.

About 23 minutes into the briefing, Searcy explained how President Obama, aided by liberal organizations like the Center for American Progress and business groups like local chambers of commerce, are secretly using mind-control techniques to push their plan for forcible relocation on the gullible public:

They do that by a process known as the Delphi technique. The Delphi technique was developed by the Rand Corporation during the Cold War as a mind-control technique. It’s also known as “consensive process.” But basically the goal of the Delphi technique is to lead a targeted group of people to a pre-determined outcome while keeping the illusion of being open to public input.

The Delphi technique is so air tight and perfect that there’s no way a revolt against the Agenda 21/FEMA camps will ever be successful. So you can forget about Glenn Beck’s anti-Agenda 21 Turner Diaries fantasy ever coming true.

Forward!