Probably our most appropriate use of this photo to dateWe’ll say this for Mitt Romney: He sure sets a low bar for the behavior of supposedly moderate Massachusetts Republicans! For instance, after Mitt spent a conference call with his big donors whining about how Barack Obama won the election by championing policies that will benefit Americans, Scott Brown’s post-loss press conference, where he (no doubt sullenly) mouthed platitudes about “bipartisanship,” looked positively statesmanlike. But that didn’t stop Harry Reid from just cold talking smack to reporters about what a dick Scott Brown was. Will Harry Reid regret this, when Scott Brown is inevitably re-elected to the Senate, in a month or two?

Apparently after Scott Brown lost his election to Elizabeth Warren, he admitted that maybe the GOP has gone a wee bit to far to the right, and claimed to be a part of a “vanishing” breed of moderates, and said that he hopes that the GOP will become a “more tolerant, open-minded party.” When Harry Reid got wind of this, he immediately summoned some reporters into his office, so he that he could take valuable time out of his day so that everyone knows that he thinks Scott Brown is a jerk and a liar.

“I saw during the campaign his plea for bipartisanship. That is a big joke. It’s a travesty,” Reid told reporters. “He was one of the most partisan people that’s ever served here.”

Reid said that Brown “should go look in the mirror” before lamenting partisan gridlock.

“He could have saved Citizens United,” Reid said, referencing the DISCLOSE Act, which would have required corporations, unions and nonprofits that spend money on elections to identify themselves in ads and, in some cases, to name their donors. Brown voted against the bill in 2010, when the measure fell one vote short of the 60 needed to break a Republican filibuster.

“He could have been the 60th vote on that and many other things,” Reid added. “So I don’t need a lecture from him on bipartisanship.”

Haha, bitchy, catty Harry Reid is our favorite Harry Reid! Since the Democrats solidified their hold on the Senate in the election, we suppose he can be forgiven for being drunk with power (the only kind of drunkenness permitted to Mormons). So, sure, maybe he should have waited a couple of months to actively antagonize Brown, since there might be some fiscal cliff-related legislation he needs to shepherd through in the lame duck session, but clearly it’s not going to be that big a deal because after January we’re never going to hear from Scott Brown again, right? Right?

Following his loss to Harvard Professor Elizabeth Warren, there was already talk about Brown running for governor in two years as a successor to Governor Deval Patrick.

Both [John] Kerry and Patrick are widely thought to be leading contenders for Cabinet posts in President Obama’s second term. Kerry is believed to be high on the list to succeed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, although some news reports say Kerry may also be considered to head the Defense Department.

Patrick is said to be a leading contender for attorney general.

A vacancy in either job would be an opening for Brown’s return.

Why would these Massholes inflict Scott Brown on our national political scene again, just a few weeks after deciding they liked him even less than some liberal college professor? Probably because they hate America, and hate you in particular. But this is good news for people who want to see Scott Brown’s pubes on Wonkette every few weeks, we guess. []

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  • rebelyankee

    Dear Massachusetts: the answer is no. Stop trying to give him to us, I already got rid of that and the doctor told me he doesn't want to see me with it again.

  • One_who_wanders

    It's revenge for their baseball team,

    • glasspusher

      Yes. Lizzie being elected is a nice solace for the Sox' last place finish. Better times ahead!

      • BerkeleyBear

        Sawks or no one will believe you are really a fan.

        • glasspusher

          Oh, it's worse than that. I grew up behind enemy lines, in central NJ. Since NJ doesn't have a MLB team, I chose my own. My mom was a Brooklyn Dodgers fan. I could pick up the Sox' games on WTIC 1080 Hartford at night, right next to NYC's only country station, 1050 on the AM dial. Yikes.So, with a NJ accent (or one of them, there are several), I think it would sauks. Now I live out by you! The sun never sets on Red Sox nation! We are a patient lot…Strange but true, when I started listening to the Sox in the late '70s, Johnny Miller was one of their announcers. He later went on to ESPN and is now back home in the bay area calling the games for the Giants. How about that!

  • Respitetini

    In Mr. Brown's defense, one really ought to dance with the Teahadists what brung you there.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Teahadist ftw

  • Give 'em hell, Harry! They stoled Schilling from your Diamondbacks!

    • glasspusher

      Uh, the DBacks are in Arizona…

      • BerkeleyBear

        Yeah, but Vegas ain't got no teams cuz of the gamblingz.

        • glasspusher

          Really? Man, that certainly doesn't stop them from betting on…everything.

        • Thank you, that was my point.

    • glasspusher

      Of course! Now it makes sense! Hurricane Sandy was NYC's comeuppance for the Yanks' stealing players from…every team in MLB! Either that, or ARod. Don't know which was worse this fall.

      • Just like a sox fan.
        Turn EVERYTHING into a Yankee hate-a-thon.
        Even Pat Robertson hasn't found anyone to pin Sandy on.
        (I'll tell you who was worse this fall. THE SOX!!)

        • glasspusher

          Well, I was just riffing on Actor's mistake vis a vis NV-AZ.Ah, so nice to know that the sox are(still!) in the yankees' fans' heads. Even Nate Silver had to point out that great hitters are typically great in the clutch, with some notable exceptions…see below.Sandy did the most damage in my home state of NJ. I haz a sad.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    The last thing we massholes wish to do is inflict Senator Staple Crotch on the US Merikans again. Hopefully, he'll just be governor here, where he can't really do much damage. (See Romney, Willard — 800 vetoes, 707 veto overrides)

    • HistoriCat

      And have him run for President in 2020 or 2024? No thank you!

  • Toomush_Infer

    Scott Brown, living proof of the power of staples….

    • That was easy!

      • Ultimate irony? At any Staples you can buy a staples remover, they're on the shelf right next to the staplers, also.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Low hanging fruit?….

  • Botlrokit

    Maybe the pain of getting his ass whipped by a girl will be too great for him.

    • Guppy

      Maybe he's into it.

      • glasspusher

        I'd gladly let her whip me any day. She certainly stirs feelings…

    • BerkeleyBear

      Not just a girl but a Cherokee princess.

      Seriously, you know it totally burns him that the heep big squaw shit didn't work.

  • BadKitty904

    Oh, Harry, you bitch…

    Joshing aside, points for Reid – it's about time somebody held the waffling Repug flip-floppers responsible for their voting record. If Brown wants to pander to lobbyists and Big Bidness, he should be publicly recognized as their puppet…

    • HRH_Maddie

      It was amazing to watch Elizabeth Warren, at every opportunity, remind voters (and Brown himself) of the VOTES he had actually taken. Votes that showed that he was just another partisan hack who didn't give a shit about the middle-class, women or veterans. And I'm thrilled to see that Reid is remind people just what a dyed-in-the-wool Brown actually was.

      tl;dr – Scott Brown is the worst.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    The old boxer can still throw a counterpunch when he needs to.

  • memzilla

    I don't know whether it's because of bone grafts or doing shots of calcium n' bourbon, but it's ABOUT FREAKING TIME the Dems grew a collective spine.

    • BadKitty904

      Please GOD…..

      • Not "Please DOG"?

        • It's about time for all dyslexic atheists to unite.

          • MosesInvests

            Or to untie.

          • Geminisunmars

            Especially dogs.

    • Guppy

      They upped the calcium fortification in their organic soymilk.

  • HRH_Maddie

    Nothing witty to say. I'm just straight loving this new swagger among the Dems.

    • BadKitty904

      A *very* nice change, no? Here's hoping Bamz keeps the momentum going, naming names and kicking assorted asses at the upcoming "fiscal-cliff summit"…

    • freakishlywrong

      Agreed. Keep it going until the impeachment proceedings. Awful teanuts WILL attempt it.

      • DustyBowlBlues

        Because we always have a few extra million lying around in the federal budget, ready for the Rs to need some more cash for their ridiculous schemes.

  • tessiee

    [hasn't even had three sips of coffee yet]
    Scott Brown… Scott Brown…
    That cross-eyed one that looks like he comes from a head-binding culture?
    Not the one in Texas that's so dumb, I know that's Rick something…

  • Being the Mean Girl of the Senate makes me like Harry Reid more.

    • HRH_Maddie

      Politico reports Leader Reid sent out a memo to the body reading: On Wednesdays we wear pink!

  • memzilla

    Wonkette, plz offer $1 million BitCoin reward for first pictures of Scott Brown's fershlugginer pickup truck loaded with boxes, moving out of his Congressional office. $500K BC bonus if pictures include droopy rusted TruckNutz™ .

    • DustyBowlBlues

      Truck will only appear if he's priming for senate or governor's race.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh go away Scott Brown, as one of the smart-guys of your party said, "Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

    • memzilla

      "Is our Teatards learning?"

      • FakaktaSouth

        "Too many GOPers aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." (because they keep beating their ass and taking their Senate seats)

    • Abernathy

      Don't misunderestimate the GOP voter.

  • Goonemeritus

    I have always found it easier to kick someone when they are down, they are so much closer to your Doc-Martens after all.

    • BadKitty904

      "Of course, I kicked 'im when he was down! Waddaya think I got 'im down FOR?"

    • Harry is a Doc Martens girrrrl? Bitchin' indeed!

    • FakaktaSouth

      The idea of Harry and Elizabeth sporting a pair of Doc Marten shit-kickers and using them appropriately just fucking thrills me to death.

    • GeneralLerong

      People still wear Doc Martens? [eyes corked steel-toed logger's boots in hallway closet]

      • DustyBowlBlues

        Tried to wear a pair old my daughter's old ones because they seemed like the perfect gardening shoes, when there is much digging to be done. Suckers were so heavy I was tired before I found the shovel, let alone done any work.

        On the other hand, my best friends in England live in Essex and their football club, Chelmsford City Clarets, are in the Doc Martens league. So I guess the brand is still alive enough over there to sponsor football leagues.

  • eggsacklywright

    Is our Dims growing spines?

    • DustyBowlBlues

      Seems like they're standing a little straighter for the brand. Republics, however, are devolving to such an extent that they look more hunched over, Neanderthalish, with every douchey thing they say and do. At this rate, they'll be crawling back into the muck before the decade is out.

  • James Michael Curley

    Scott Brown, the name of the hero of hundreds of short stories and novels that never got published.

    • Oddly, all his towels look like they had knots tied at one end…

  • Chupa-cab-over

  • Sean O

    But… he has a truck. He talks to old white people. His staff makes racist indian noises.

    • BadKitty904

      Plus he has that hideous, honking, faux-Kennedy accent…

  • CrunchyKnee

    This is the only thing comes to my sleep deprived, in need of coffee, booze sodden mind this AM:

    In the sleepy west of the woody east
    is a valley called the Pioneer
    we're not just kids, to say the least
    we got ideas to us that's dear
    like capitalist, like communist
    like lots of things you've heard about
    and redneckers they get us pissed
    and stupid stuff it makes us shout
    oh dance with me oh don't be shy
    oh kissme cunt and kiss me cock
    oh kiss the world oh kiss the sky
    oh kiss my ass oh let it rock
    of the april birds and the may bee
    oh baby
    of massachusetts, please
    and here's the last five
    it's educational
    it's educational
    it's educational
    it's educational
    it's educational.

  • qwerty42

    Harry didn't get to be majority leader by being a nice guy. But he plays a sly insider's game, and isn't given to much in the way of displays (although I suspect he really does dislike Mitt, hence the "tax returns" business of the summer). So if he called in the reporters, there is something more going on — probably a message to Sen Mitch and his buddies.

    • BadKitty904

      That might explain why Reid had such a strong, public reaction to a cipher like Brown. A little "shot across their bow," eh?

      • qwerty42

        Maybe. Kind of "ORLY? Well, let's just look into this" So if current filibuster rules remain in place (I'll assume they will, I suspect neither side really wants to give them up), and Republicans look for cover as "moderates", they will have to stop using these rules to shut down everything.

        • I wonder if they will. The GOP used the filibuster a record number of times last four years.

          I could see where they might keep the 60-40 rule, that almost makes sense since the Senate is supposed to be deliberative, but I could see Reid abandoning the pretense of skipping the "Mr Smith rule" and making someone actually get the hell up and speak for 24 hours.

    • LibertyLover

      We ever did see those tax returns, did we?

      • rickmaci

        LOL. When the history of the 2012 campaign is finally written, Harry will have to get major credit for the initial beat down on Twitt that showed him to be a rich and imperious asshat when the Leader took it to Romhole over his tax returns. It was the first real chink in the wall of blandness the Reptards attempted to build around the rombot.

    • PugglesRule

      Our current Dem leaders are a boxer (Reid) and a poker player (Obama). So you were expecting something other than rope-a-dope and slow-playing?

      • qwerty42

        Well, Harry has come in for a lot of criticism at times. However, I suspect he has a very careful calculus of what will work and what won't and a very good grasp of the Senate rules (I would assume anyone who rises to leadership in an organization such as the US Senate has to do this or they simply do not rise). He does not go for grandstand plays (others can do this more effectively), so when he does something, it gets noticed. I don't think he is the meek and mild person we often imagine he is, but that is a convenient cover for him. McConnell is somewhat more bombastic, and some of the things he has said have come back to haunt him. In the context of their jobs, I don't think any of the leadership are nice guys, and are not people to cross lightly. Scott Brown thought he could make some whinny statement and it would be ignored. He was wrong. And it was the Majority Leader who said so. And was kind of mean about it. But not (too) obviously.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Obama should definitely not appoint Kerry to a cabinet position, and put a Senate seat in play thereby.

    Clinton appointment of Senators to cabinet positions in 1993 was a key factor in the Democrats losing control of the Senate in 1994. It's not worth the risk.

    • noodlesalad

      Disagree! Nobody in Massachusetts likes Brown after that last election.

      And I don't want Barry to start pulling punches out of fear of the teatards. Nor do I think he plans to take it easy on them.

      • bikerlaureate

        Voters have short memories. And as someone here (?) said yesterday, there would be a lot of superPAC munniez spent in the attempt to make Brown seem like a reasonable, "experienced" Senator.

    • Bentsen was replaced by Kreuger, a Dem. He was, to my knowledge, the only Senator in Clinton's original Cabinet.

      • Hera Sent Me

        You're correct. But Bentsen's empty seat flipping Republican gave the Republicans a solid majority, and thereby encouraged two Democratic senators to defect, and was a contributing factor in the "Republican Revolution" of 1994.

        OTOH, said revolution led to Newt Gingrich becoming Speaker of the House, which was a long term benefit to Democrats.

    • BerkeleyBear

      The issue is that he's got to replace at least some of his outgoing cabinet members with fairly easy to confirm people. Kerry is the easy choice at State, although Susan Rice now has a smackdown appeal that Bamz may just want to make the Benghazi thing whither and die in Senate confirmation hearings.

      Also depends on what the bench looks like in Massachusetts. I know that Patrick says he's never running for office again, but for a shot at a Senate seat might his good friend Obama be able to sway him?

    • PugglesRule

      You know, there are probably a bazillion career diplomats who could do a great job at the State Department.

      Or Barry Bamz could twist the knife a bit and appoint Jon Huntsman :P

      • AncienReggie

        I'm with you. Huntsman for SecState!

  • freakishlywrong

    Go Harry! Now, please, bust the filli.

  • Freewayblogger

    Meanwhile, back on the west coast…

  • freakishlywrong

    Both [John] Kerry and Patrick are widely thought to be leading contenders for Cabinet posts in President Obama’s second term
    Bamz, leave them alone please. At least until we can get some shit done.

  • Negropolis

    Harry's right. He only went "bi-partisan" when it ceased to matter, anymore (post-2010 midterms). Lest we forget, he was considered the guy that was going to break the backs of the Democratic Senate when he was first elected. And, that wasn't a hard task considering we always had the likes of Ben Nelson and others in the caucus, which made the "60 votes" technical in nature. Functionally, we never really had a filibuster-proof majority, and I hate that lie by the media.

  • What, no topless governors washing cars today?

    • PugglesRule

      There aren't enough of them worth looking at, even clothed.

  • noodlesalad

    As a new resident to Massholia, I can only state my absolute willingness to vote again and again against this prick. The GOP has a very short bench in this state, apparently, and it is my pleasure to continue to beat the tar out of them.

    • BadKitty904

      Atta boy/girl, Noodle! Sic 'em!!!

  • TheGyrus

    I liked the part where Harry Reid said Scott Brown didn't pay taxes for 10 years.

  • Come here a minute

    The only thing I have to say to Harry is LET THEM ALL EXPIRE. He knows what I'm talking about.

    • Negropolis

      With actual votes!

  • Negropolis

    BTW, I think Patrick came out, yesterday, and said he isn't going to be part of the government.

    • BerkeleyBear

      He keeps saying that, damn it all. Doesn't he know we need him more than he needs a life?

    • woolmyn

      Oh, I thought you meant the other kind of "came out".

  • Schmannnity

    Harry Reid should staple Brown right in the groin.

  • Lot_49

    Rachel had her pet comedian read one of Harry Reid's speeches with animation and anger his staff had written into the words, instead of the languid Mr-Peepers disinterest that Reid usually exhibits. It was, to coin a phrase, awesome.

  • I'd like to start a White House petition that all Wonkette posts must include topless women washing Ol Handsome Joe Biden, and no more Harry Reid.

  • LibertyLover

    It's not that I don't want to see Scott Brown's pubes on the Wonkette here, it's just that seeing evidence of pubes that are older and probably greyer now, doesn't really appeal to me. I mean it's like looking at old pictures of my teenage heart-throb David Cassidy, I've changed, he's changed… it just doesn't give me a thrill anymore.

    So, please, Massachusetts. Do the right thing.

  • glasspusher

    Let's just say that thinking about Elizabeth Warren raises my bar, if you know what I mean…

    • ttommyunger

      Smart broads make me hard, too.

  • LibertyLover

    I think Bronco Bama should leave John Kerry where he is. When 'Bama plucked Janet Napolitano out of Arizona, she left us with boney-fingered Jan Brewer as Governor and we've had nothing but hilarity ensuing ever since.

    • PugglesRule

      So Bronco Bama is responsible for Bonefinger…. sigh….

      • LibertyLover

        Yeah, she was filling out the end of Janet's term when she signed that SB 1070 bill that got her re-elected. I doubt she would have been otherwise. She's not a very smart lady.

  • glasspusher

    Oh, Scotty. The moderates aren't vanishing- in fact, they picked up seats in the Senate this last election. They're called Democrats.

  • Oh Scooby has no misgivings about the run for Governor; unlike his earlier post it comes with a Mansion.. He's just waiting til his gophers finish researching the part where he can offset the installment costs of a tanning bed "for health reasons" (as enjoyed widely by Massachusetts peeps) — erstwhile popularized by, y'know, that other vainglorious Gov' mansion dweller ~

  • bikerlaureate

    To see Scott Brown use the word "vanishing" in reference to himself makes me happier.

  • MonkeyMotion

    You know, being mean to complete, total douchebags (e.g. Scotty, Mittens, W, et al) is a lot of fun.

  • neiltheblaze

    Brown only won the first time because he had an opponent who thought it was better to go through with her Caribbean vacation than campaign for a special election – apparently because losing her deposit meant more than becoming Senator.

    Martha Coakley made the mistake of thinking she had it in the bag. If Brown has to win something, let it be the Governorship. With the Democratic legislature, he'll have ample opportunity to demonstrate his "bipartisanship".

  • BZ1

    Brown as Guv? Another bipartisan? hahahahahahahah.

  • poorgradstudent

    Oh wow, it must have been Harry Reid's turn to hold the Senate Democrats' spine this week.

  • ph7

    TIL this election: Mormons have a dick streak.

    • Nostrildamus


  • ttommyunger

    In salesman terminology, what Harry did is called a "button-down". It is good practice. BTW, encouraging Scotty to "… go look in the mirror” is totally unnecessary.

  • Oh, surely Scott has learned to manscape by this time. Perhaps an updated self portrait, shot in a bathroom mirror, would give him an edge in his future political endeavors.

  • DahBoner

    Republican Party ————-> Ditch.

  • Coming soon to Beantown Megaplex: Stapledick II – The Returning

  • Elect him governor. Then he can run for president in a few years and lose like some other guy from Massachusetts did.

  • sati_demise

    So Scott is responsible for all the crappy commercials this election season?

    Fuck him!

  • flipdraw

    Love the Blondie reference … Don't be mad / I left you in the streets / You're pre-fab / I had to get away

  • DustyBowlBlues

    There must be some leftover ads against Brown. Save money, be conservationist and recycle. Anything that pointed out that he is a douche is as relevant as the day it was made. I've got to go get some work done, but please bear with me because the Old Man refuses to talk or listen to anything political and I've got to say this:

    I fucking hate fucking Republicans. And I fucking hate chaste ones, as well.

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