TRIGGER WARNING: SCHADENFREUDE  8:50 am November 9, 2012

Come, Drink In Delusional Mitt Romney’s Election-Night Sadness With Us

by Josh Fruhlinger

Tried real hard to find a picture of sad Mitt, but then we realized that his emotions don't show up on film, like a vampire'sOh boy, we have now reached our favorite part of the election cycle: the end! It’s great because (a) the stressful part is over and (b) all the low-level staffers for both campaigns start telling secrets to the reporters that they most want to sleep with. And so it was that the lucky folks at CBS, America’s old-person network, got the scoop on the tragic emotional landscape of the Romney-Ryan campaign’s final night, when everyone’s sincere belief in their inevitable victory ran head-first into reality. Join us for a gleefully annotated summary, after the jump!

Here is the best part of the sad tale of Mitt Romney’s election night: Mitt Romney and his people were totally confident that they were going to win. Unless, of course, they are so determined to maintain a brave face at all times that they feel a need to anonymously leak to the press after the fact that they ran the campaign in a delusional bubble? That would be even weirder, so let’s just take this statement at face value:

Romney and his campaign had gone into the evening confident they had a good path to victory, for emotional and intellectual reasons. The huge and enthusiastic crowds in swing state after swing state in recent weeks — not only for Romney but also for Paul Ryan — bolstered what they believed intellectually: that Obama would not get the kind of turnout he had in 2008.

As a result, they believed the public/media polls were skewed — they thought those polls oversampled Democrats and didn’t reflect Republican enthusiasm. They based their own internal polls on turnout levels more favorable to Romney. That was a grave miscalculation, as they would see on election night.

Let that sink in for a minute: Team Romney was “unskewing” its internal polls, or maybe they were just using the numbers from the Unskewed Polls guy, who knows, but the point here is that they didn’t like the reality they were getting from their own data collection and thus felt a need to fix it to conform to their inner emotional truth like some sort of woo-woo Californian new ager. By contrast, when after the first debate Obama’s people began getting numbers indicating that everyone thought he did a crappy job, the campaign flipped out and Obama agreed to make some changes he wasn’t keen on, because he wanted to win but recognized that he might lose.

So, here’s a hint, future presidential candidates of all stripes: you’re going to get at least 35 percent of the vote in every state of the union, which translates to hundreds of thousands of people. No matter where you go, you will get large and enthusiastic crowds, unless your campaign is a complete disaster à la John McCain. Do not confuse the people who voluntarily show up for your rallies as being representative of the electorate!

Anyway, now that you understand the Romney campaign’s mindset, let’s jump ahead to election day!

Mitt Romney’s campaign got its first hint something was wrong on the afternoon of Election Day, when state campaign workers on the ground began reporting huge turnout in areas favorable to President Obama: northeastern Ohio, northern Virginia, central Florida and Miami-Dade.

Then came the early exit polls that also were favorable to the president.

But it wasn’t until the polls closed that concern turned into alarm. They expected North Carolina to be called early. It wasn’t. They expected Pennsylvania to be up in the air all night; it went early for the President.

After Ohio went for Mr. Obama, it was over, but senior advisers say no one could process it.

This is the part where we wish anonymous low-level campaign staffers could somehow magically convey smell. Because it probably smelled pretty amazing at Romney HQ, right? All flop sweat and burning wires? Anyway, then the ladies wept, and Paul Ryan was too sad to cry:

Romney was stoic as he talked to the president, an aide said, but his wife Ann cried. Running mate Paul Ryan seemed genuinely shocked, the adviser said. Ryan’s wife Janna also was shaken and cried softly.

Next came that concession speech, which wasn’t … bad exactly, just kind of stilted and off-putting, like most of Mitt’s public human interactions but more so. Turns out Romney really did write it at the very last minute, because, as mentioned, he literally thought he was sure to win!

Their emotion was visible on their faces when they walked on stage after Romney finished his remarks, which Romney had hastily composed, knowing he had to say something.

Both wives looked stricken, and Ryan himself seemed grim. They all were thrust on that stage without understanding what had just happened.

Then they went home and took a nap and Mitt Romney will never be the president ever and we’ll never talk about him again, the end. (Ha ha, just kidding, we’ll have lots of articles in the future about whatever dumbshit mandroid antics he’s up to, don’t worry, refresh Wonkette dot com constantly for cruel Mitt Romney coverage.) [CBS]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 394 comments }

YerMa November 9, 2012 at 8:54 am

posted elsewhere, but feels more appropriate here:

Ya know… any time I have a moment of feeling bad for taking such JOY in their misery, some asshole starts with the fucking "lazy people want free shit" meme they're running with.

FUCK them.

The invigorated frothing hate and contempt for the poor (especially minorities) has gotten worse since Tuesday and they've gone totally off the rails. I can't wrap my head around it, especially when people who claim to follow Christ are such narcissistic, hateful assholes who genuinely seem to want poor people to suffer and die. It's insane. And I agree with the Rude Pundit who said:

"Let's kick these fuckers while they're down. Let's degrade them and mock them for not understanding that voters actually give a damn about the nation, unlike the Republican Party. Let's make them feel every ache, every lump, because if we don't, they are going to attempt, again and again, to get up and gut us, like every cliched serial killer in every cheap straight-to-video bullshit flick. You don't walk away when the murderer just looks dead. You cut off his head so that you know he is."

Respitetini November 9, 2012 at 8:58 am

With votes, of course.

YerMa November 9, 2012 at 8:58 am

natch

weejee November 9, 2012 at 8:59 am

And from Mr. Speaker Boner's interviews yesterday they appear to be set for taking the country full-speed ahead right over the fiscal cliff. Yee, haa!!

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:06 am

I agree. Everything we've seen since Tuesday clearly indicates that the GOP is still determined to rule this country or destroy it. They acknowledge NO other options.

Ruhe November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

Re "the Fiscal Cliff": I would love to see the President and the Dems in congress treat that thing like it's the deal that's on the table. Just walk into Boner's office and say, hey dude, there's a deal on the table. We don't like it much but it'll work and if we don't come up with anything better that thing will go into effect and that'll be on you. Please, Barry, put on your poker face.

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 9:22 am
actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:32 am

Obama can pull a Clinton, and remind Weaker Boener what happened to that Speaker.

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:00 am

Rule No. 2: The Double Tap.
With votes, of course.
Sound advice.

YerMa November 9, 2012 at 9:01 am

And FUTHER… I hang with a very liberal crowd, IRL and on many internets. Not ONE of them gets or wants 'free shit'. But you know who wants shit? EVERY greedy mother fucking Republican who is bitching about taxes. It takes some brass to paint the poor as selfish, you asswipes!!!

grrrr, i has a mad.

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

I think about how they describe the poor in merciless tones, but they never bring up numbers, as in "percentage of budget" that's spent on 'em.

ElPinche November 9, 2012 at 9:01 am

This Rude Pundit guy….his anger is delicious.

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 9:27 am
tessiee November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

Upfisted solely for mentioning the Rude Pundit, who I had somehow, amazingly, forgotten about. Wow, he would have made the last month or two a lot easier to bear.

YerMa November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

Oh, he has.

Go reread his every blog post.

For America.

Katydid November 9, 2012 at 10:31 am

Never read the Rude Pundit before, thanks for posting this. Great blog.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 9, 2012 at 11:36 am

So very well said.

YerMa November 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Holy cow, I've never been fisted so much on my life.

Thanx, guyz!! :)

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 9, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Righteous! Here's one more for you!

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm

The Romney campaign is dead, and the mouthbreathers are just at the "anger" stage of grief. There's some other stages, I think, like "denial", but these fuckwads are gonna be stuck on "anger" for quite some time.

snowpointsecret November 9, 2012 at 8:56 am

All right, who installed these "feelings" on Mitt Romney right before the election?

More importantly, why did they wait so long?

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

Didn't reboot. Don't fix what ain't broke.

GeorgiaBurning November 9, 2012 at 10:51 am

Always a squeeze to fit software regression testing into the product release timeline.

cousinitt November 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Who installed the emotion chip? A certain Dr. Noonien Soong. It didn't work any better in Lore, either.

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 8:56 am

So what you're saying is Mitten's people were doing math to make themselves feel better as Republicans.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:16 am

Mental math-turbation?

Ooh, I'm gonna copyright that!!

glasspusher November 9, 2012 at 11:06 am

Nice, with a little built in lisp!

The Romney folks thought they were skewed, but it turns out they were screwed.

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 10:29 am

I even question the "huge crowds" and suspect it's pretty subjective. Maybe a week before election day, Munster was released from his "do no harm" tour of the Confederacy and spoke to a hot 600 people in his own state!

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm

In FlorDuh, I'm sorry to say, there were some big-looking crowds.
Now, if they picked venues that would look SRO with a couple thousand deluded souls in 'em, as compared to a stadium…

DickWharfinger November 9, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Bush's brain a.k.a. Trump's dick does not believe in science and mathematics, Obama's top-secret weapon. Turd Blossom I would not want hordes of billionaires out to harvest my stamen.

wondering where i am November 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Best sound bite from the election coverage: Bubble-headed blonde to Karl Rove: is that just math that Republicans are doing to make themselves feel better, OR IS IT REAL?" Fox news as the bastion of post-modernism. Is it real, indeed.

Boojum November 9, 2012 at 8:57 am

I am truly sad that he had this as his first human emotion. (Not really)

Terry November 9, 2012 at 9:14 am

His first human emotion was probably joy over making lots and lots of money for doing little or no work.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:20 am

He got his wish. He's a real boy, now. Took an ass-kicking of international proportion to do it, but he finally felt something beyond insatiable greed for once in his life, bless his heart.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

He consistently positioned his ass for those kickings – here and abroad – unlike any national candidate I've ever seen.

James Michael Curley November 9, 2012 at 9:57 am

That reminds me of the shower scene from "Carrie."

snowpointsecret November 9, 2012 at 8:59 am

So, here’s a hint, future presidential candidates of all stripes: you’re going to get at least 35 percent of the vote in every state of the union, which translates to hundreds of thousands of people.

Unless you're facing a Mormon in Utah, in which case you forget it and just go to Ohio an extra time.

By the way, these people really have gone home. Finally, it's nice and quiet here outside of the occasional screaming and crying from one John A. Boehner.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Boehner has many reasons to cry. Here's one of my newest favorites.

Loch_Nessosaur November 9, 2012 at 8:59 am

Romney was shell shocked because Karl Rove had assured him that the voter suppression plan was firmly in place and turned up all the way to 11.

Terry November 9, 2012 at 9:15 am

I hope that Adelson and the Koch brothers have old Karl on the carpet grilling him over the election.

FlownOver November 9, 2012 at 9:22 am

I envision Jules Winnfield asking Rove "What does David Koch look like?"

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

Say "What? again, motherfucker.

boskolives November 9, 2012 at 9:33 am

I was hoping they'd have him on the BBQ. Also grilling him. Too

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:36 am

With Votes Sauce!

SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

And a vote apple in his mouth.

not that Dewey November 9, 2012 at 10:53 am

Perhaps they'll just pee on his carpet, instead.

paulabflat November 9, 2012 at 3:47 pm

and then tie the room together with his chonson.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Never grift a grifter?

If "on the carpet" involves sustained emotional and/or physical duress, then yeah, it's a fair start to Turd's karma.

tessiee November 9, 2012 at 9:47 am

Next step: Karl Rove applying for a job in a chapeau shop.

"Nigel Tufnel: [on what he would do if he couldn't rock] Well, I suppose I could, uh, work in a shop of some kind, or… or do, uh, freelance, uh, selling of some sort of, uh, product. You know…
Marty DiBergi: A salesman?
Nigel Tufnel: A salesman, like maybe in a, uh, haberdasher, or maybe like a, uh, um… a chapeau shop or something. You know, like, "Would you… what size do you wear, sir?" And then you answer me.
Marty DiBergi: Uh… seven and a quarter.
Nigel Tufnel: "I think we have that." See, something like that I could do.
Marty DiBergi: Yeah… you think you'd be happy doing something like-…
Nigel Tufnel: "No; we're all out. Do you wear black?" See, that sort of thing I think I could probably… muster up.
Marty DiBergi: Do you think you'd be happy doing that?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, I don't know – wh-wh-… what're the hours?"

Edited: OH MY GOD, you guys! I just googled, "It's only a cracker college", and the first thing that came up was ITT Tech!

BoroPrimorac November 9, 2012 at 10:03 am

Karl's going to be kidnapped.

GunToting[Redacted] November 9, 2012 at 10:24 am

Black-bag rendition?

paulabflat November 9, 2012 at 3:48 pm

uh-uh…aliens…

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

I love that people give Karl Rove the time of day, or their money. He is a clown and a fool and he only wasted their resources!

heathenette November 9, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I love that he wasted their resources. I hope they make him “pay them back”.

SheriffRoscoe November 9, 2012 at 9:00 am

Ann cried softly while Mitt spoke to the president? Drama!! Sounds like my mom and dad. Except substitue "president" with "dean."

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:03 am

Or substitute "dean" with "lawyer" or "cop."

Kid_Charlemagne November 9, 2012 at 9:14 am

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son."

outragedcitizen November 9, 2012 at 11:37 am

Ya know, I could almost feel sorry for him until I remember that he can spend all day riding up and down in his car elevator then get on his yacht and go to the Cayman Islands to visit all his money.

MaxNeanderthal November 9, 2012 at 9:01 am

Looks like listening to the purple pixies who live in the sparkly forest didn't work too well…

One_who_wanders November 9, 2012 at 10:00 am

It never does.

starfanglednut November 9, 2012 at 10:37 am

This, in my mind, is the essential difference between right wingers and liberals. Right wingers genuinely expect reality to conform to their beliefs, and are astonished and infuriated when it doesn't. A liberal is more inclined to try to align their beliefs with reality, and make adjustments to their beliefs when evidence contradicts them. It has nothing really to do with what those beliefs are really, it's some kind of deeply rooted psychological difference between liberals and conservatives. This is why conservatives are destined to be miserable so often, because reality doesn't give a shit what people believe.

Iam_Who_Iam November 9, 2012 at 10:58 am

Just out of curiosity I took a trip down memory lane and checked out the blog posts dating just prior to the 11/2/10 election at several different sites. You know what? You are completely right, there were no delusional posts about how we were going to win or win big. Folks had a handle on what was about to happen and were preparing themselves accordingly… go figure.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2012 at 11:01 pm

"go figure" is exactly what liberals do, and conservatives don't.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:02 am

They lost because they all forgot to click their heels together and say "There's no place like 1955" three times .

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:06 am

No, 1855. Or in some cases, 1655.

Loch_Nessosaur November 9, 2012 at 9:15 am

I'm thinking more like 655 when the world was still flat and fear, ignorance and superstition ruled the day.

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

You seen Christian teevee lately? It still fucking does.

boskolives November 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

The RNC now refers to that day (when the world was still flat and fear, ignorance and superstition ruled the day) as "Last Monday".

Nostrildamus November 9, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Let say 655 BC to be safe. We've refound Greece and keep the Kenyans out this time.

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

But, but – they had a fireworks display all prepared!

Steverino247 November 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

My wife was born in 1955 so let me say, "It was a very good year."

delaney_blom November 9, 2012 at 9:02 am

like some sort of woo-woo Californian new ager.

Romney's spent too much time on the beach in La Jolla.

snowpointsecret November 9, 2012 at 9:03 am

Wait, you mean his appearance on Univision was just because of too much sun?

Terry November 9, 2012 at 9:16 am

Walking the beach looking for pot smokers to reproach.

docterry6973 November 9, 2012 at 10:03 am

It took me a long time to realize that the La Jolla that I read about was actually the La Hoya that I heard about. Am I white, or what?

emmelemm November 9, 2012 at 1:53 pm

That same thing happened to me when I first became aware of "La Jolla", which was many years ago now.

/I am SO WHITE

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Further proof that he just wasn't conservative enough to ignite the real Amercians!!!!!1!

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 9:03 am

Who would have thught there weren't enough old, white, angry, underpaid, under-educated, rural misogynist men to constitute an electoral majority?

weejee November 9, 2012 at 9:12 am

And that fading slice of the American landscape will continue to fade to young, non-melanin impaired, underpaid, over-educated, urban womenz. Note the common thread of underpaid. At some point absent change, hear us on that Hopey, that is going to lead to pitchforks and torches outside the McMansions of the 0.1%ers.

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 9:37 am

I am also buying stock in lightweight, portable ladders.

ThundercatHo November 9, 2012 at 9:37 am

Seems like there's plenty, doesn't it?

Toomush_Infer November 9, 2012 at 9:54 am

"….old, white, angry, underpaid, under-educated, rural misogynist men…"did I vote for the wrong guy? I must not have gotten the memo….

SpiderCrab November 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

It was funnier the first time I read it.

weejee November 9, 2012 at 9:04 am

Because it probably smelled pretty amazing at Romney HQ, right? All flop sweat and burning wires?

And don't forget the magical underoos! The room in which poopyheads were weeping probly also had a scent of lots of diapers needing changing.

UW8316154 November 9, 2012 at 9:31 am

And stale rich-white-lady perfume.

boskolives November 9, 2012 at 9:37 am

Official note from Utah, "It's time to set your watches back 200 years and swap out your magic undies for magic depends".

LesBontemps November 9, 2012 at 9:04 am

Mitt Romney’s campaign got its first hint something was wrong on the afternoon of Election Day

Jeebus, where had they been the previous six years?

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:18 am

IKR? That "first" just amazes me.

I guess life in the bunker IS different…

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Cashing his checks and trying not to smirk?

They sure weren't doing competent campaign work. The mind reels.

HempDogbane November 9, 2012 at 9:05 am

I just skimmed this. Who is this Mitt guy, and should I read up on him?

WABishop November 9, 2012 at 10:17 am

He was governor of … Rhode Island? Somewhere in New England. I think he does reverse-mortgage commercials too.

notgross November 9, 2012 at 10:50 am

Don't bother.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Nothing to see. Move along.

GuanoFaucet November 9, 2012 at 9:05 am

Groupthink is a helluva drug.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:23 am

Doubleminusbad/Doubleplus ungood in fact.

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 9:05 am

Best part of the election: NEVER HAVING TO HEAR AGAIN "Americans sent a clear message to Washington with the 2010 elections."

Terry November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

Let's edit that: Americans sent a clear message to Washington with the 2012 elections.

BoroPrimorac November 9, 2012 at 10:16 am

No more "silent majority" either.

1stNewtontheMoon November 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

There is a silent majority. It's just a non-screaming, (mostly) non-white majority.

Jerri November 9, 2012 at 9:05 am

Ha. Haha. Ha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah. Oh my sides!

I have read this article 3 times since last night and it gets better every time. While their pain and ignorance doesn't sustain me, it is making this win so much sweeter.

I'm going to go read it again.

PsycWench November 9, 2012 at 9:23 am

I lectured in my Psyc 101 class yesterday about cognitive biases. I resisted the temptation to use the Romney campaign to illustrate almost every one of them (Self-serving? Check. Illusion of control? Check Confirmation bias? Check…) but kept it to one or two. I did admit to how use of these biases lead to 1.5 billion dollars being spent without results.

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:38 am

It's pretty when it's spelled out, ennit?

"One and a half billion dollars."

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:49 am

But "$1,500,000,000.00" is also kinda attention-getting.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

How many Hoverrounds could've been bought with that money?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2012 at 11:06 pm

"One and a half billion dollars."

Pretty much all of it was removed from the bank accounts of billionaires, and pretty much all of it went promptly into the economy … that's a nice stimulus, from the very people who scream about Obama's stimulus program. Ohio should post some impressive numbers in the next BLM report.

starfanglednut November 9, 2012 at 10:42 am

You LibruL yOur IndotriNating ar ChiLrunz with yOuR gAy, SATan agEnda1!!!1!!111!!!

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Thank G-ddess! Keep it up Wench.

WABishop November 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

"…They all were thrust on that stage without understanding what had just happened. …"
*fapfapfap*

DemmeFatale November 9, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Try this: http://whitepeoplemourningromney.tumblr.com/
Keep refreshing, cause it gets better and better.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Woohoo.. my schaden is totally overfreuded.
Loved the guy with Mitt's toothpaste "R" tattooed to his face.

deanbooth November 9, 2012 at 9:06 am

In his concession speech, Romney said Obama deserves congratulations, not "I congratulate Obama." There are some human gestures that machines are not yet capable of performing.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Actually, it was "I want to congratulate" Obama.
Lies, lies, lies, right to the end.

Goonemeritus November 9, 2012 at 9:06 am

You left out the very best part, when cut loose staffers tried to buy tickets home the night of the election they found their Romney Campaign credit cards had already been canceled.

Texan_Bulldog November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

And the part where the SS unceremoniously dumped them & Mitt and Ann had to hitch a ride in Tagg's car.

ThundercatHo November 9, 2012 at 9:40 am

Oooh, I missed that part, delicious.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:19 am

It's the bottom-line, people, the bottom-line…

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:22 am

Oh, I hadn't heard that one. Last I heard was Monday, Mitt made staffers stand out in sub-freezing temperatures trying to hand out literature in Pennsylvania, even tho some had already developed frostbite.

PsycWench November 9, 2012 at 9:26 am

I read about that this morning. I can't even muster up snark. Use them up and spit them out. Who does that?

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:30 am

Who does that? Well, Mitt and just about every corporate greedhead in the country. People are an expendable resource.

Texan_Bulldog November 9, 2012 at 9:33 am

Really and compare that to Hopey's speech to his staffers in Chicago where he cried because he was so appreciative of their hard work.

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 10:37 am

Hey! Queen Egg cried, too ya know! Granted, it was entirely for herself, but still she cried.

Goonemeritus November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

It really is cartoonish, it reminds of that poor senior advisor to Ron Paul who died of cancer a few years back. The medical bills bankrupted his family, as bitter as I am about the tone of the last four years discourse I sometimes am left speechless. The Republican strategy for several decades has been to deny Democratic administrations the ability to govern as Democrats. I say not this time. This election was a clear referendum on two competing philosophies and they lost!

Chet Kincaid_ November 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

No, because we don't have the House.

Goonemeritus November 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

When Republicans don’t have the house you don’t see them acting like Democrats. Look the truth is I am to the right of many here at Wonkette. I ring my hands worrying that if we ever had a true progressive majority in government that we would over reach and sow the seeds of our own destruction. President Obama is far and away the most inspiring President of my lifetime. All that said when you negotiate you don’t jump to your compromise position and then get beaten even farther to the right.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:52 am

I seem to recall another GOP-class businessman, very similar to Rmoney, commenting that those who were of no use to him, personally, would be better off to just die and "decrease the surplus population." He then went on to ensure that the debtor prisons and municipal workhouses were still in full operation…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYHmQT_7a2c

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 10:47 am

Hey, I worked for that asshole. One year, instead of raises, he gave us each a fucking goose. Fucking thing shit all over my house.

tessiee November 9, 2012 at 9:58 am

I had a very nice co-worker who started working at Globalcompumegacorp right out of high school. By the time they decided they'd rather be doing something else with their money, and folded our team, she was in her late fifties, i.e., too young to retire anywhere but under a bridge, but too old to have much of a chance of getting hired anywhere else. I'm not saying this to be unkind to her, I'm saying this because she haunts me.

Oh, yeah, before they threw her in the garbage can, they wore her down to nothing. She looked completely unrecognizable from the smiling, sassy image of herself in the group picture on her desk. She was at work every day by 7 or so, but she was exhausted, had several health issues, shuffled when she walked, spoke in a submissive mumble, and looked sadly at the ground.

Sometimes, when things are going really badly, and I want to slouch and sigh, I stand up straight and tall and think, I won't be like her. I won't let the bad guys crush me. I won't.

Guppy November 9, 2012 at 12:25 pm

As Mitt's experience at Bain has taught him, failure is always the fault of the guys at the bottom, so it only serves 'em right to be stranded for building a failure of a campaign to begin with.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 12:38 pm

(deleted because I didn't read far enough, duh.)

Chet Kincaid_ November 9, 2012 at 9:52 am

"I like firing people who provide services to me!" Or in this case, didn't.

tessiee November 9, 2012 at 9:53 am

No offense, but this is exactly the kind of thing that every single person on the Romney campaign would have accused Jews and Asians of doing.
But then, all Republicans are big on projection anyway.

WABishop November 9, 2012 at 10:13 am

That reminded me of a story told by Gerald Ford's son. In 1977 he was sitting with his Secret Service detail watching Jimmy Carter being sworn in. As soon as Carter finished the oath, they stood up, shook his hand, and left. He noted that you rarely experience such a far fall from importance to obscurity.

GunToting[Redacted] November 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

There was a show on about a week ago called "Flipping the White House" and it covered the jarring transition that the First Family faces. SS detail changes instantly, as you say. WH staff moves on to the new crew. It has to be hard to deal with.

Guppy November 9, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I'm sure it's even harder to deal with when you truly believe that it belongs to you rather than the office.

BaronOGreymatr November 9, 2012 at 10:32 am

Smells like Willard was burning his bridges, doesn't it?

SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 12:54 pm

So the smart staffers who saw the writing on the wall and caught an early cab made it home okay, then.

oenspiek November 9, 2012 at 9:06 am

If you come to deliver a concession speech, when you only have a victory speech prepared, you just might have Romentum.

ElPinche November 9, 2012 at 9:07 am

No snark here. Thank Allah he lost. The world just dodged a disaster. Every old honky conservative tycoon threw billions of dollars at Romney's campaign and he still failed miserably. He probably did think unskewed polls was reality.
Can you imagine translating that into policy??

weejee November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

It was those typhoons calling Karl Rove, that lead to his meltdown on Faux Newz. His phone musta been vibrating so much he started to get a hard-on. If he gets those, obvs.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2012 at 9:41 am

I'm kind of hoping that Rove ends up disappearing in a very suspicious manner.

OneYieldRegular November 9, 2012 at 9:50 am

Adios, Liberty Valance.

ElPinche November 9, 2012 at 10:04 am

Those are gonna be some lucky fishes…all that yummy ham.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 12:42 pm

What? Another plane goes down?

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:21 am

I sincerely believe that America just dodged a potentially fatal bullet. Those people are genuinely dangerous.

tessiee November 9, 2012 at 10:03 am

And that's before you even BEGIN to consider how loony and racist the whole Mormon thing is. A friend's ex came from a family that was major bigwigs in the church (not the Romneys, though), and the inside view of them is creepy as hell.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 10:10 am

One of my bestest buds growing up (and my first secret crush) was the son of the local Mormon high priest. I'm very much aware of just how much of a literal cult the LDS church is and I'm going to be VERY interested, indeed, to see just how quickly the mainline churches return the Mormons to cult status, now that Mittens has failed them…

PennyDreadful November 9, 2012 at 12:22 pm

We've dodged a major bullet, for sure, but I am deeply concerned about the coming backlash. My optimistic side says that many of these people are keyboard warriors who will soon fade back into oblivion. I won't get into what my pessimistic side says, because, WE WON, BITCHIZ.

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:07 pm

right. good point.

but not until next week.

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:10 pm

i was going to be pretty fucking (butterbeer) upset if romney had won.

i'm beginning to understand exactly why i made all those phone calls and spent those days in WI and MI.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2012 at 9:07 am

Hey Mitt, people don’t like you. May I suggest taking up a hobby, say, like drinking?

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

Hobby suggestions for Mitt: skydiving or swimming with (real) sharks.

Veritas78 November 9, 2012 at 7:52 pm

And if you can't drink alcohol or caffeinated beverages, how about your own urine?

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 9:07 am

Just like ST:TNG, that emotion chip is gonna need reprogramming.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:24 am

I hope it hasn't fused to his neural net, or he's going to tell that "The Ferengi in the gorilla suit has got to go" joke over and over and over…

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

Data (at the helm as the Enterprise D was plummeting down to Veridian III):

"Oh shit!"

mille derps November 9, 2012 at 9:08 am

I've been thinking about what a narrow miss we had. Egg & Tagg were the ones who talked him into running again, then they had to take over the campaign last month when it became apparent that running against BHO wasn't sufficient- they decided to shelter him from certain voices so that Romney wouldn't always be trying to 'factor in' the opinions of the last person he spoke to.

This man must be one of the most credulous men on earth, but he tried to claim that Obama was naive?

Deep breaths needed here- we are lucky to escape that one- now we need to support our president as he has to still do battle with these people who make up their own realities & ignore those stupid facts.

Toomush_Infer November 9, 2012 at 9:59 am

Yeah, and wasn't he supposed to be the numbers guy, during his corporate piracy days? How can you not add up something so clear – does lying to others mean that, eventually, you'll convince yourself?….

mille derps November 9, 2012 at 10:10 am

Maybe he was still trying to figure out how to make those numbers profitable?

"Well, if we sell off NC, we can probably afford PA…"

James Michael Curley November 9, 2012 at 10:12 am

The most significant issue that people who are concerned about progress, bipartisanship, healing the country and fairness can do is to start promoting the idea that the Senate Filibuster must go.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I think the Filibuster can be kept, only they should make the threatener follow through and actually Filibuster. Once or twice going through that might make them think twice – or even actually make them think, period.

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:11 pm

yes.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Eternal vigilance, etc.

I'm already wondering if there's some part of the congressional candidate recruitment effort for '14 I could start working on now…

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:08 am

They all were thrust on that stage without understanding what had just happened.

Any chance this might help Republicans understand that whole rape thing better…?

boskolives November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

They should now have a clear idea of what anal rape feels like, and get a fresh reminder every time they sit down to make plans for 2016.

ThundercatHo November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

I'm all for letting them learn empathy on this issue from first hand experience.

Arishii November 9, 2012 at 12:48 pm

and we should force the candidates wives to carry that child to term and give birth to it.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:09 am

Sometimes I've wondered if we should feel bad for doing a little gloating…then I think on what *their* reaction would've been had they won.

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

Like plucking the petals from a daisy, ruminating: "I feel bad for them… I feel bad for them not!…"

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:26 am

I think of ShellyMIC's reaction, and stop feeling bad.

Living in Joy November 9, 2012 at 9:40 am

I thought that too. I normally feel bad for the loser, even John McCain (not Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods though, but I have to admit that I have a perverse liking for the stricken look on Ann Romney's face. It never occurred to her that they were less than entitled to the Presidency.

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

I agree—I was more surprised by Jana Ryan being stunned. I thought she was supposed to be reasonably intelligent. Apparently none of them knew how to read polls (or anything else).

starfanglednut November 9, 2012 at 10:53 am

Actually, she creeps me out even more than Ann. Total Stepford wife, that one.

Toomush_Infer November 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

Oh, my liberal kitty, no – let yourself go in this glee – it is positively therapeutic, and wonderful for the spine….also, it is the clean water which shrivels their witchery souls, so, please, gloat away….

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 10:45 am

Considering the level of fatheaded bloviating, personal insults and trolling we saw for weeks over ONE debate performance, I hae no doubt they would've brought shitty dickhead to an entirely new level.

I celebrate and feel zero sympathy!

memzilla November 9, 2012 at 9:09 am

Oh dear Editrix, when should we libtards stop gloating and laughing and wallowing in Blau Schadenfreude? Days, weeks, what?

Ruhe November 9, 2012 at 9:18 am

We'll stop gloating when they stop wallowing.

LesBontemps November 9, 2012 at 9:20 am

I'm giving it til Christmas, then I'm gonna start up again on Jan. 20.

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:41 am

Yes, we should all go to DC and watch the inauguration together.

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Yes, giving the liver a rest for a few weeks is probably a good idea.

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:20 am

Whenever a wingnut is crying bitter tears, I'll be there. Whenever a wingnut is pledging to disown any Democrats he may know, I'll be there. Whenever a wingnut throws a 24-minute tantrum on YouTube, I'll be there. Whenever the Fox News people bitch and complain about people wanting "free stuff," I'll be there.

Laughing my ass off.

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 9:46 am

"There ain't no mountain high enough. Ain't no valley low enough………."

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

I'm done Freudeing my Schaden. Now I'm just pointing in mild amusement and chuckling.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:50 am

I'm going to gloat, but I'm hoping one of these days very soon the Obama turnout machine will finally lend itself to winning us congressional seats, because that's been a major disconnect. All of the energy gets sucked up to the top. They say Dems can't win back the House in 2014, or any time we have an incumbent president of the same party. I say let's make history. Again.

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 10:04 am

Not to get all wonky on you here, but the main problem in Congressional races is that states, run by Republican legislatures, have gerrymandered the districts in such a way to guarantee that the GOP maintains an advantage. Look at the congressional map of my home state, Pennsytucky, for some guidance.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

Yes, but why is this? Because, Dems (state and national) don't ever really have a plan for legislative and congressional races. They just hope that they win, and sometimes it happens, and more times it doesn't. We aren't ever as prepared on this front. It's not luck on the part of the GOP.

Chet Kincaid_ November 9, 2012 at 10:23 am

Oh, I remember the days when you would wag your irritated finger in my face for saying the exact same thing! (wink)

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I never disagreed with the point, rather the priority. In presidential years, the energy has to go to the top for Democrats to win. BUT, we definitely need to start seriously contesting midterm elections. We hope to win midterms; Republicans plan to win midterms.

If it's a choice between Congress and the presidency for Dems, I'll choose the latter every time. But, it doesn't have to be an either/or…we can make this an "and."

MiniMencken November 10, 2012 at 3:43 am

I am planning on four full years of Schadenfreude, perhaps starting up a Schadenfruedebund in my town, where we will get together once a week to drink beers, sing Obama campaign songs and wear our old ACORN uniforms. But, really, every time I'll see a Romney/Ryan bumper sticker, a Rush Limbaugh billboard or simply look up into the night sky in the direction of the planet Kolob, I'll smile that little Shadenfreude smile to myself.

Mojopo November 9, 2012 at 9:12 am

We should be allowed to cut into their regularly scheduled programming to deliver some simple facts. FOX News lied to them. Their polls were failures. Their blogs were wrong. Their leaders left them emotionally unprepared for this loss, because they believed their own myths. They spent billions of dollars for a bag full of nickels and gave up FL for PA. People have got to get a grip – we DO know what we're talking about!

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 11:24 am

One (foolishly) hopes that they will blame the messenger and expand their sphere of information sources. But, I jest.

Terry November 9, 2012 at 9:12 am

Romney's campaign was so sure of winning that they spent $25K on fireworks to be shot off over Boston Harbor on election night. Had the city permit and everything.
http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/20

AutomaticPilot November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

Boston Harbor… over de Nile?

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

Wow. Just…wow…

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:27 am

Oh my god, this just keeps getting better. I'm going to OD on schadenfreude if I'm not careful.

Toomush_Infer November 9, 2012 at 10:06 am

I still feel like Jimmy Stewart standing in the front hall with the Christmas tree ringing, and envisioning the cut to old, crippled Mr. Potter in his dark, clammy hall, grimacing into the outer dimness – fuck him….

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Today we are all George Bailey. (Today, yesterday, and tomorrow).

SheriffRoscoe November 9, 2012 at 9:27 am

Couldn't blow his wad.

Jerri November 9, 2012 at 9:31 am

Hahahaha I just imagined the creepy one* finally giving in to that sweet demon caffeine and manically demanding they be set off anyway, "No? Then I'll do it. I'll set them off myself! I must avenge Father!" he'd say to the firework man in the dark on the harbor.

*Tagg? The one who looks like Bizarro Superman.

Mojopo November 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

He probably spends more for his backyard family BBQs, that cheapskate.

starfanglednut November 9, 2012 at 10:56 am

Omg I fucking live right near there. If I had been subject to Romney victory fireworks, I'd have gone postal.

imissopus November 9, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I saw that last night and thought wow, setting off a celebratory display over the capital of a state where you have wicked low approvals and which you just lost by 23 points? That, as the Big Dog would say, takes some brass.

WootInTarnation November 9, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I wonder if the chair money they charged the media will cover the fireworks? Who am I kidding? Rmoney's probably consoling himself right now by scrolling through an itemized list of media charges and listing the fireworks (and permit) on eBay. That's how stingy rich people soothe their woes. That, and laying people off.

AutomaticPilot November 9, 2012 at 9:13 am

We are afeared of the sciencez.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:14 am

This puts me in mind of my favorite song from "The Music Man."
♫ Seventy-six sad trombones led the big parade!! ♪

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Or ♪ Goodbye, Romneys, goodbye Romneys, we're glad to see you go! ♫

Great movie!

ph7 November 9, 2012 at 9:14 am

I like the story, but I don't believe it. Mitt's team essentially abandoned Ohio the last two days to shore-up FL (which should have been locked up) and made a bizarre new last minute push in PA, which had been ignored for months. The PA push told me they knew OH was lost, and they were grasping for a last minute replacement.

Kid_Charlemagne November 9, 2012 at 9:19 am

I thought the same thing when I heard Mittens was in PA.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:28 am

It may've just been me, but it seemed, in the last week or so of their campaign, they suddenly remembered "oh, yah, the browns" and started cranking out (poorly done) ads aimed at black and Hispanic voters. A bit late on your timing, there, kids…

Jerri November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

Did you see the African Americans for Romney Pac ad? A-mazing.

http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/11/blacks-

Toomush_Infer November 9, 2012 at 10:10 am

"The October Surprise Club" (I read the article)….isn't it usually the Cocktober Surprise Club?….I only ask because it seems a change of direction for the Republicans, and I like to keep on top of these movements….

mille derps November 9, 2012 at 9:28 am

I think it's quite possible that many campaign staff were recognizing that the math wasn't leading to a Romney presidency, but I find it very easy to believe that the campaign nevertheless wanted to shelter Romney & Ryan from the idea of defeat. Who would voluntarily offer to be the messenger who needed to be shot? Besides which, this is a crowd that genuinely believes that saying it makes it so.

And if the families/friends were in denial, what are the chances that they would allow any defeatist voices to get through to the candidates?

Toomush_Infer November 9, 2012 at 10:11 am

"Mein Fuhrer, ummm….ummm…I….ummmm….."

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:14 pm

one assumes the romney version is on its way?

or is it the rove version?

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Rmoney didn't seem to be too receptive to remarks from The Help that disagreed with his existing internal narrative…

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

I disagree: if you believe there was a bubble around him, then going after PA makes a lot of sense. Why not run up the score and take a traditionally blue state (I think the last time PA voted GOP was Bush in 88), really grind liberals noses in it?

Guppy November 9, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Exactly, "Mitt's team." The grand vizir didn't let the sultan know what was going on outside the palace walls.

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:16 pm

i don't know, sounds about right to me. i mean they had clint and that stupid chair.

but i do believe they bought into the 'democrats won't turn out'. hell i bought that.

C_R_Eature November 9, 2012 at 9:14 am

Submitted For Your Approval:

"It was eerie, you'd walk out of the press room, through the lobby out of the elevators, into the bar… There'd be a huge crowd in the lobby and only one person talking and you'd hear this voice saying, 'The mood at the McGovern headquarters… is extremely solemn and shocked… one of shock and depression… right now… Illinois has just fallen… California is gone, New York is gone…' They'd read this list of disasters and you knew their faces and what they were saying was on TV screens all over the country… It was like a televised funeral… I was feeling depressed… And John Holum came in. I could see that he'd been crying… and… he's not the kind of person you'd expect to see walking around in public with tears all over his face… That was the only time McGovern cracked. For about a minute he broke down and… and… and couldn't talk for a few minutes. Then he got himself together… He was actually the coolest person in the place from then on. Other people were cracking all around… Stunned, wall-eyed… there was nothing to say… just a helluva shock… you know…a fantastic beating… I remember, when Agnew came on, throwing something at the television set. It was a beer can… That was the last flight of the Dakota Queen and also last flight of the Zoo Plane. It was the trip back to Washington from Sioux Falls, which borders on one of the worst trips I've ever taken in my life… Jesus Christ… it was easily the worst scene of the campaign… There was something… total… something very undermining about the McGovern defeat… There was a very unexplained kind of… ominous quality to it… weeping chaos. People you'd never expect to break down… stumbled off the plane in tears… It was such a shock to me that although I'd gone back to Washington to analyze… I saw how ripped up people were… I decided to hell with this… So I just went right around to the main terminal and got on another plane and went back to Colorado."
- Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

You are, good sir, deservedly swimming in "Approval" for this~

C_R_Eature November 9, 2012 at 10:26 am

Many Humble Thanks.

I pull out '72 to read not only the uproariously funny stuff but to revel in his love for the descriptive possibilities of the English language and remind myself what a whip-smart political and social observer HST was.

He could also run wild for days, meet filing deadlines, eat Acid and make it down to the convention floor, something you don't see a lot of these days.

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

I miss the Good Docktor.

James Michael Curley November 9, 2012 at 10:16 am

Imagine the party and conversation he and Molly Ivins have each night in where ever.

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 10:53 am

Miss Molly too. Back in the '80s, at a conference of some kind, I spent a long afternoon and evening with Molly and and a couple of other folks drinking our faces off in a hotel bar in Delaware. We were all supposed to be in meetings or seminars or whatever. Instead, hung out in the bar. Woman was funnier than hell. As if you needed to be told that…

James Michael Curley November 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

I met her at College Station in ’81 or ’82 at a student think that my cousin’s husband professor got me an invite to. I was on a business trip to Houston and drove a rental Merc Cougar at 100 mph to get there, but, hey – Texas.

C_R_Eature November 9, 2012 at 10:19 am

Indeed, me too. He would have enjoyed this election season, I think.

vulpes82 November 9, 2012 at 9:15 am

I didn't think it was possible to have a more junior league campaign than McCain 2008, but somehow I think this one might have topped it.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:29 am

My fear is they'll know better next time.

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

And they managed to accomplish this without Palin!

Kid_Charlemagne November 9, 2012 at 9:15 am

They should have totally gone all Jonestown on election night.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:15 am

They'd have been better off diving from the entrails of goats.

But, honestly, as a candidate who hadn't held an office in years, he's going to slip away more quickly than you think.

mille derps November 9, 2012 at 9:36 am

For his sake, I hope he does manages to find some privacy in which to nurse his wounds.

And if his wife & kids get Romnesia again & insist that he should run for office again because the country NEEDS him, I hope he has the balls to finally tell them no.

Schmannnity November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

Rafalca, why the long face?

tessiee November 9, 2012 at 9:27 am

Ann, why the bitch face?
…Oh, right.

OneYieldRegular November 9, 2012 at 9:53 am

You try getting a dressage horse through the eye of a needle.

SheriffRoscoe November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

Look. Mittens really should have won this. Looking at the county map, our nation is a sea of red with small flakes of blue. The Mohave Desert is red, and that's practically half of California right there.

Terry November 9, 2012 at 9:22 am

OMG, I've been seeing essentially the serious version of that argument on Facebook now since the election. A friend posted census data about where people actually live, but the wingnuts will have none of those actual facts clouding their theories.

SheriffRoscoe November 9, 2012 at 9:33 am

And he won ALL of "Next Gas 200 Miles" Utah.

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 9:49 am

Last Chance?

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

Colbert made that same argument, that Mitt won more square feet than Bammerz and therefore should have been declared the winner.

ThundercatHo November 9, 2012 at 9:50 am

Amazing how many people don't understand that electoral politics is not based on square footage.

Toomush_Infer November 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

Well, it was, originally….people like us, dammit, changed it for those owners of land…

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

…and of people.

Texan_Bulldog November 9, 2012 at 9:18 am

"…refresh Wonkette dot com constantly for cruel Mitt Romney coverage." This made me LOL & LOL & LOL.

Botlrokit November 9, 2012 at 9:28 am

It's not as satisfying as the Sarah Palin coverage, in the wake of John McCain's plane crash, but it'll do.

SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Come on, it wasn't McCain's fault that Maverick drove their plane straight into Bammer's jet wash, causing them to punch out disastrously.

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

Especially coming from JFruh — who in person is as well-scrubbed boy-next-door charming and guileless that ever contrasted w/ his ability to crank out teh snark material in solid fashion~

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:19 am

[H]is wife Ann cried.

Who?

FNMA November 9, 2012 at 9:47 am

Oh, it’s so cute. She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise, and she’ll squirt it in her mouth, and then she’ll take an egg, and she’ll pop the egg in her mouth. She calls it a mayon-egg.

flipdraw November 9, 2012 at 12:12 pm

When are you going to introduce me to her?

weejee November 9, 2012 at 9:19 am

Come, Drink In Delusional Mitt Romney’s Election-Night Sadness With Us

One of the neighborhood saloons is serving a new cocktail, the Schadenfreude.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:28 am

It's mostly (victory!) gin with splashes of bitter conservative tears.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:40 am
Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 9:19 am

I imagine the greatest collective sigh of relief among those spent GOP staffers is from those who can finally come out of the closet for their hero The Boss, whom they are passionately convinced will join Governor Christie in 2016 as his running mate.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:19 am

I said to a conservative friend of mine "Welcome to 2004! Here's your sign."

He doesn't like me very much

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:22 am

Missouri Jesus, why have you forsaken Mitt, your most good and faithful servant?

TootsStansbury November 9, 2012 at 9:23 am

Hopefully he will just go away and not run around pretending to ne alternate President like Walnuts did.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

Three days and the end of my gloat is still not in sight.

Living in Joy November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

Mine either. I can't wipe the grin off my face.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Quelle Avatar!!

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

I hope someone does one of those Youtube parodies using that Hitler-meltdown scene from "Downfall."

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

Ha! Just missed your post. I was think the exact same thing. lol

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

Happens a lot here in The Hivemind.

Living in Joy November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

Me too.

Wadisay November 9, 2012 at 9:44 am

Awesome idea.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:48 am
Stevola November 9, 2012 at 10:47 am

At first I thought something was wrong with the subtitles. Great use of Trump twits!

Geminisunmars November 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Brilliant.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:26 am

I predict the end of Peak Wingnut

homoviper November 9, 2012 at 9:26 am

Romney and Ryan were found early in the morning of November 7th, spooning on a soiled Kluft Palais Royale mattress, a Kid Rock CD skipping in the stereo.

tessiee November 9, 2012 at 9:27 am

"Turns out Romney really did write it at the very last minute, because, as mentioned, he literally thought he was sure to win!"

Yup, yup, yuppers. This is who we want running the country; someone who is *completely unprepared* when things don't go his way.

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:31 am

I knew it as soon as Howard Fineman said the entire Romney campaign staff was locked away in a conference room.

I turned to my daughter and said "He didn't write a concession speech. Now he knows he has to"

This was before Ohio was even called.

iburl November 9, 2012 at 11:40 am

Also, wonderful to think that he surrounded himself with people who were ALL completely cut off from reality too.

Veritas78 November 9, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Cue the Hitler Bunker video, dubbed for Romney.

malsperanza November 9, 2012 at 9:28 am

And I thought McCain was clueless…

The first hint that Romney was actually living in the Fox bubble was when he called out Obama in the debate on the failure to use the word "terrorists," when Obama had in fact used that word. It was so weird. It was as if the campaign pros were only reading Rasmussen polls and only listening to their own spin doctors. Could that be what …. ? Nah, no one could be that stupid, not even Stuart Stevens.

The second inkling was when the Romney campaign threw itself into PA in the last week in a huge way: i.e., buying tons of ad time and blitzing the phones with robocalls sent indiscriminately to all phone numbers (including mine hahahaha). But not a single volunteer working the doorbells–no GOTV, at least not in the highly Republican districts where I was working.

Is it Reverse Schadenfreude for me to say that I doubt very much we can count on such fecklessness from the GOP next time?

actor212 November 9, 2012 at 9:50 am

I had the same reaction when I heard him do that, and then I thought, "well, maybe he just forgot," but when he doubled down on it despite the fact that Crowley was *trying* to help him by mentioning that, yes, in fact, Obama said "acts of terrorism", well,,,

SorosBot November 9, 2012 at 9:28 am

So Romney is such a congenital liar, he even habitually lies to himself. Wow.

boskolives November 9, 2012 at 9:28 am

Mitt has reached the age where he's required by the church to trade in his magic™ underwear for magic Depends®

eurobirdbrain November 9, 2012 at 9:30 am

Never trust anyone who doesn't drink coffee.

George Peterson November 9, 2012 at 9:30 am

"felt a need to fix it to conform to their inner emotional truth like some sort of woo-woo Californian new ager."

Or, perhaps, like some sort of… religious fundamentalist?

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 9:30 am

We should bear in mind that these people haven't gone away – they're still here and they're still just as dangerous.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 9, 2012 at 9:31 am

He did win King of the Butthurt, so there's that.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:31 am

You know, the Hitler "Downfall" parodies are often overdone, but one with Mitt on election night would fit like a glove. That is truly how self-isolated they were.

CrunchyKnee November 9, 2012 at 9:32 am

Q: Are they not men?
A: They are DEVOID.

Joshua Norton November 9, 2012 at 9:33 am

They based their own internal polls on turnout levels more favorable to Romney.

And heavy use of a Magic 8 Ball.

Chet Kincaid_ November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

"So, here’s a hint, future presidential candidates of all stripes: you’re going to get at least 35 percent of the vote in every state of the union, which translates to hundreds of thousands of people."

Thank you for saying that, let's remember that as we constantly snark on throwing the South and the West under the bus/out of the Union.

Mojopo November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

Chet, a small part of me feels empathy for the people who are taking this the hardest. I felt the same way they did in 2000 and 2004. I know it's not cool to feel sorry for people who choose to be a-holes, but a part of me does because I really do want to lift them out of their intellectual wasteland. It's hurting them, and it's bad for the country. This is just like watching an addict spiral to the bottom and I can't do jack shit about it.

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

In the end, people do have to take responsibility for their own "spiral". Years of personal experience on this one, for sure. If they don't want help, the can't be helped.

Mojopo November 9, 2012 at 10:12 am

I know – it never stops being frustrating, though.

mbatch November 9, 2012 at 10:07 am

Okay, I felt miserable and desperate in 2004, but I never thought Bush was the anti-Christ, nor did I claim he was part of some massive conspiracy run by the Illuminati. There's a difference in reaction here between the libruls in 2004 and the wingnuts today. These guys are truly scary.

Mojopo November 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

I agree with you, completely. It's just that…their kind of crazy can be helped, they don't have to stay crazy. But they want to. That's sad.

Indiepalin November 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

Fuck Mike Romney and the horse he rode in on.

UW8316154 November 9, 2012 at 9:46 am

I'll take Rafalca over Mittens any day of the week.

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

I'd take a photo of that.

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2012 at 10:34 am

Mike

ISWYDT~

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:36 am

You know who else didn't realize defeat until the very end?

Kid_Charlemagne November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

Allen West?

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:44 am

Andy Garcia in Soderbergh's "Ocean's 11"?

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

General William Westmoreland?

FlownOver November 9, 2012 at 10:00 am

Sauron?

C_R_Eature November 9, 2012 at 10:15 am
not that Dewey November 9, 2012 at 10:54 am
SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

That ski jumper from the Wide World of Sports?

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Dean Wormer?

mwittier November 9, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Suzanne Sommers?

Nostrildamus November 9, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Dick "De Feet" Morris?

Chet Kincaid_ November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

Republicans might also take to heart that if you play Race Politics for 4 years, basing your entire political strategy on coddling White Racial Animus, insulting and disrespecting the first non-White President and wearing your contempt for minorities like flag pins, people will get angry enough to endure any length of polling place line to stuff all of that garbage back in your face.

Mojopo November 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

Nine hours in line, in FL.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

The best personal quote I've heard so far is from a Latin bud in Miami: "I had to take a day off from work just to stand in line and vote. And it was worth every minute of it just to crucify that bastard."

Mojopo November 9, 2012 at 11:10 am

Don't you just want to buy that guy many beers? I do. As many as it takes.

Kid_Charlemagne November 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

What he said.

Jus_Wonderin November 9, 2012 at 10:04 am

Chet, that is a very succinct…WIN!

imissopus November 9, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Absolutely. Lesson for the GOP: people NOTICE that shit.

JaceWyatt November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

I can't help but think of Too Wong Foo! "Little girl in the dress, why are you crying?"

Poindexter718 November 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

At one point in this story it says that "Boston" –to use douchebag Halperin-speak one last time-was resisting capitulation because of bespectacled colostomy bag Karl Rove's brave stand against numbers on Faux. But the kicker is that Rove claims he was getiing his not-so-fast info from Boston!
Thus, ironically, an endless feedback loop of douchebaggery among the homenids that could only be closed by Mittbot finally becoming self-aware and crying "Uncle" …

BartStarrland November 9, 2012 at 9:42 am

Evaluating the electorate on its 'enthusiasm' is like evaluating a ball player on his 'scrappiness'. It means you have no fucking clue about evaluating anything.

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 10:59 am

Yeah. Not to mention, I can't imagine any better indicator of enthusiasm than standing in line for 8 hours just to vote

Wadisay November 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

Mormonism says no booze. Don't say nothing about Kool-Aide.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

We should remind them that Jonestown isn't just a place in Guyana; it's a state of mind.

SuspectedDemocrat November 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Mittenburg?

UW8316154 November 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

Mitt finally found something his money couldn't buy.

Kid_Charlemagne November 9, 2012 at 9:46 am

If only Mittens had been more conservative.

mbatch November 9, 2012 at 10:09 am

And the "nice" lady from Susan B. Anthony League is already making that argument.

carolinaswamp November 9, 2012 at 10:28 am

Now and then here in South Carolina we get a sane statement by one of our senators. It is Lindsey Graham of course, because DeMinted just doesn't do sane: "If I hear anybody say it was because Romney wasn't conservative enough I'm going to go nuts," said Graham. "We're not losing 95 percent of African-americans and two-thirds of Hispanics and voters under 30 because we're not being hard-ass enough."

vulpes82 November 9, 2012 at 10:30 am

Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel sorry for Lindsey Graham. He's not an idiot, he knows what's what. But he's trapped. Trapped in the closet, trapped in his party, trapped in that whole world. But, then, HAM BISCUITS and fuck him.

MUHAMMED_PBUH November 9, 2012 at 9:49 am

Do candidates actually plan their concession speeches in advance (WALNUTS aside)?

thank you – the american people have spoken – thank family – thank volunteers – heartwarming anecdote – now is the time to come together – brief prayer – thank you and god bless america

i yearn for the days of' " I believe [my opponent] has a heart, even though he believes I do not. I believe he is a good American, even though he feels I am not… The [people] have chosen his leadership, and I can only hope that that leadership will now become more decisive."

MosesInvests November 9, 2012 at 10:29 am

BHO did, yes. Just in case. Because he's a rational guy who prepares for all contingencies. Which is why he's a good president, and Mittens would have been a disaster.

Mittaplasia November 9, 2012 at 9:51 am

What? Leftover cold revenge again? Thanks; it goes great with my buttered Mitt toast…yummy! More, please!

Misty Malarky November 9, 2012 at 9:52 am

God sent Sandy to punish the gay, Yankees, and other perverts.

Sandy cost Romney the election.

Sometimes I wonder about God.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 10:03 am

Keen sense o' humor, that one…

ThundercatHo November 9, 2012 at 9:53 am

One of the many reasons why I have no respect for Rmoney is that as head of the Republican party he could have, at any time, stopped the voter suppression efforts and he did nothing.

BadKitty904 November 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

Did nothing and said nothing. They freely and gladly cast aside any pretense of supporting the electoral process mandated by the Constitution they constantly *profess* to love…

One_who_wanders November 9, 2012 at 10:13 am

Many people only love things when they work in their favor. . . .

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 10:19 am

Teh tea party doesn't take orders form anyone but their corporate overlords, and even then, only in code. For a party that once worshipped authority, their base has turned it into complete and utter chaos on the ground.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 9:56 am

You know, Mitt believed in his heart-of-hearts that corporations were people, too. Well, he learned that people are people, too, my friends…and these people vote…and, sometimes, you can't buy that.

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

"…and these people vote…and, sometimes, you can't buy that."

And sometimes you can't stop that!

WABishop November 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

Earlier that night, an opposition mole whispered in Romney's ear: "Logic is a little tweeting bird, chirping in a meadow. Logic is wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad. Are you sure your circuits are registering correctly? Your ears are green!"

PennyDreadful November 9, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Norman, coordinate!

OneYieldRegular November 9, 2012 at 10:06 am

This was all predicted in "The Turn of the Skew," that story in which a delusional governess, Republican Electorate, discovers that the strange children in her care, Mitt and Pauline, harbor some terrible secret they won't reveal and also appear to see ghosts. As she grows more and more deranged, Republican Electorate attempts to shield Mitt from his attempt to pay attention to one of the ghosts, Nate Silver, and a shell-shocked Mitt dies in her arms as she slides into insanity. The end.

Ground Zero Mostel November 9, 2012 at 11:11 am

What are you, an English professor?

Mahousu November 9, 2012 at 10:06 am

It occurs to me that Romney has been running for various offices for almost twenty years, and has only ever won once – and even in that case, didn't run for reelection, because he knew he would lose. So why did anyone ever think he had a great political organization?

zumpie November 9, 2012 at 11:03 am

And why was he so shocked that he lost and things didn't go his way?

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"So why did anyone ever think he had a great political organization?"
He paid them to think that?

dennis1943 November 9, 2012 at 10:08 am

There are whispers that Romney lost because the Democrats hacked his emotion chip……..

ElPinche November 9, 2012 at 10:09 am

Just think…there are five Romney boys lined up ready to prove their trustfund didn't go to waste. Break out the heroin.

Misty Malarky November 9, 2012 at 10:13 am

And since their parts are interchangeable, so they can keep at least one running for years.

Guppy November 9, 2012 at 12:51 pm

My money is on the Bush clan. I'm sure Daddy still has ties with Langley.

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:22 pm

yeah i think this clan's done. and don't think they really like politics.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:15 pm

It's not at all certain that they can learn anything from their dad's mistakes.

wnstnbabe November 9, 2012 at 10:10 am

The RR signs are still up in sad, silent, desperate protest here in sad, silent ol' southern Virginny. Every time I see one of those signs I laugh and hoot and cackle and holler "LA-LA-LA-LOSER!" and lose control of my vehicle. Yesterday I almost hit a ford pickup with a McCain sticker on it. wtf!

WABishop November 9, 2012 at 10:19 am

Tagg Romney 2054!

Yellerdawg November 9, 2012 at 10:19 am

I know the election is over, and I should be able to relax a little, but one nagging, unresolved loose end is still keeping me up at night; What happens to Lou Sarah now? How will she pull out of this? Will she and Rafalca ever overcome the social pressures keeping them apart?

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:43 pm

She is one step away now from swinging onto camera from a vine for her idiot fox interviews, dressed in leaves, big hair, and bondage shoes, gibbering and clawing and drooling like Cheetah with rabies.

Tio_Doidinho November 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Will she and Rafalca ever overcome the social pressures keeping them apart?

Neigh!

Severen13 November 9, 2012 at 10:23 am

I just love watching the right-wing zealots heads exploding.

James Michael Curley November 9, 2012 at 10:29 am

The most significant issue that people who are concerned about progress, bipartisanship, healing the country and fairness can do is to start promoting the idea that the Senate Filibuster must go.

This is a one shot deal that was blown on January 3, 2009 based on the idea that a few old blue dog democrats did not want to give up what they thought they may need some day.

But the reality simply is that the Filibuster has become tyranny of the minority. Sure it's escalation into the process it became now was started by a handful of democrats in the middle of Dubya's terms to curtail the massive amount of judicial appointments republicans had blocked during the Clinton years, but it has to go.

When the Vice President gavels the Senate into session on January 1 (May be two, I don't think the schedule has been set.) he must take rules motions from the floor and their disposition is handled with a SIMPLE MAJORITY. No possibility that the attempt to eliminate the Filibuster gets filibustered as occurs after the opening session.

Obama needs to bring a bunch of recalcitrant Senators into line and kill this monster; this time truly with votes. I have been told by a reliable source that Biden supported killing it in 2009 but Harry Reid would have none of it. The gridlock that began at least resulted in an attempt to do a modified filibuster rule in 2011 but that lost due to the hit democratic Senators took in 2010.

Guppy November 9, 2012 at 12:54 pm

But the reality simply is that the Filibuster has become tyranny of the minority.

You may be able to say that now, but that can't be said of a Republican Senate any time in the foreseeable future. The filibuster is a necessary evil in a Senate where seats aren't apportioned by population.

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:23 pm

then make it a real filibuster.

Negropolis November 9, 2012 at 11:05 pm

This one million times. A filibuster should be an actual filibuster. You should have to be physically present.

James Michael Curley November 11, 2012 at 9:26 am

Here is a statistic I was looking for the other day, but electricity phased out for 12 hours again.<p style='mso-margin-top-alt:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:11.25pt;margin-left:0in;line-height:15.75pt;background:white'>“According to the Senate Historian's Office, the number of “cloture petitions” – a procedural step that sets up a vote to end a filibuster – was 68 in the two-year session of Congress running from 2005 to 2006, the last time Democrats were in the minority.<p style='mso-margin-top-alt:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:11.25pt;margin-left:0in;line-height:15.75pt;background:white;orphans: 2;widows: 2;-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;word-spacing:0px'>But that number has exceeded 100 for each of the past three two-year sessions, all of which have seen Republicans in the minority, peaking at 139 in the 2007-2008 session. There have been 109 in the current 2011-2012 session, with several more weeks of lame duck meetings expected.” <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/11/filibuster-reform-democrats-republicans_n_2113285.html” target=”_blank”>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/11/filibuster-reform-democrats-republicans_n_2113285.html

WABishop November 9, 2012 at 10:42 am

I'll take it as a victory for secularism, caffeine, alcohol, and premarital sex.

bloggingbalkanistan November 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

Just in case your schoeden needs more frueden: Bush got a bigger share of the Mormon vote than the Bishop: http://politicalwire.com/archives/2012/11/09/bush

rebelyankee November 9, 2012 at 10:54 am

I keep thinking how awesome it is that I rewatched Buffy the Vampire slayer during this election, because I come back to the Buffy Bot zinger, "that'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!" anytime I see Romney try to react like a normal human.

Ground Zero Mostel November 9, 2012 at 10:55 am

Back in olden times, when I was a thirteen year old McGovern volunteer, I really believed we were going to win and was shocked and upset at the New York campaign Victory Party at the Biltmore Hotel. Of course I hadn't actually spoken to anyone outside of New York, nor had I even looked at those things called polls which barely existed back in ancient times, and I was THIRTEEN.

What exactly is their excuse?

ttommyunger November 9, 2012 at 10:59 am

"… all the low-level staffers for both campaigns start telling secrets to the reporters that they most want to sleep with." – With this particular crowd, I'm guessing Anderson Cooper's dance card is full to overflowing.

rebelyankee November 9, 2012 at 10:59 am

The problem is we've seen every election cycle trend towards more and more outrageous lies that aren't shot down by anyone but "fact checkers" who are themselves immediately dismissed as partisan. There is nothing wrong with pointing out the sky is blue, the grass is green, and China doesn't own 55% of our national debt. The problem is, if you point out these facts, you are biased and carrying water for the other team.
So on and so on it goes, until you come to an actual sociopath of a human being whose life was crafted by the money of his parents, whose career was made by leveraging government funds to downsize and sell off companies in trouble, and who actually thought he could spin that crap as "job creation." And he did! We had Democrats saying his private record was unassailable. It was most certainly.
This is a man who surrounded himself with lapdogs and croneys, moreso than anyone I've ever paid attention while campaigning, and whose genuine shock over the "reality" of these results really just tells me he's a flipping idiot who was fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family and thought that made him valuable to us.

Ground Zero Mostel November 9, 2012 at 11:06 am

That explains Romney's belief. It doesn't explain why conmen like Rove, Dick Morris, and all those other empty suits believed their own bullshit as well. My better-half was convinced that some kind of fix must be in for them to be so blithely ignoring reality and was expecting voting machine reversals. He's still thinking that Obama must have actually won by an even bigger margin than we will ever know which destroyed the vast right wing conspiracy. Me? I think they were just deluded idiots.

rebelyankee November 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

You make a good point. My initial thought was just that these guys believe partisan spin that is devoid of reality anyway, and they spin it out so furiously so as to confuse voters and influence news cycles as a way to help their candidate, and that's the spin Romney and his team believed (specifically from people like Morris).

bloggingbalkanistan November 9, 2012 at 11:00 am

They were already planning Mittens' re-election campaign:

Party leaders said they already had planned to poll voters in battleground states starting Tuesday night in anticipation of a Mitt Romney victory — to immediately begin laying the groundwork for midterm congressional elections and a Romney 2016 reelection bid.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/decision20

ManchuCandidate November 9, 2012 at 11:06 am

So… I take it there's going to be a Mitt Romney version of the famous Downfall meme coming out soon.

Chet Kincaid_ November 9, 2012 at 11:37 am

Hitler, the gift that keeps on giving!

proudgrampa November 9, 2012 at 11:09 am

Best two words I've heard in 18 months: "the end!"

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 11:10 am

Is it wrong of me to want to see video footage of Egg sobbing?

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

This is hard!

boy_genius November 9, 2012 at 11:23 am

Romney already had the fireworks loaded for a victory display over Boston Harbor. In my homestate. Which he had already lost by 25 points. Arrogant Ass: http://tinyurl.com/cjw2zsu

LibrarianX November 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

Karl Rove's next job: drumming for Spinal Tap

RufusTFirefly November 9, 2012 at 12:06 pm

"Math is hard." –Malibu Barbie.

DahBoner November 9, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Ah, yes. The familiar sound of Republican trophy wives weeping softly….

…as I quickly climb out the window as Papa pulls up in the driveway.

larrykat November 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

.. and in fit of inept and unexacting rage, Romney went out to his backyard and dug up the corpse of his dog Seamus and ceremonially beheaded and hung him, as the Royalists did to Cromwell.

mustangsavvy November 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I did start to feel bad for the conservatives but then my husband's friend's FB post this morning made me think better of it. He said that he, being a white male married to a woman and who loves Christ is now the minority. With lots of butt hurt.

I thought…hmm….well fuck you very much dickhead, welcome to the new America. Where the bitches, the queers, the blahs, the hispanics and the asians plus the Jews, the Hindus, the atheists, the Muslins, non-insane Christians and every other person who doesn't look or think like you get to have a say in how the country is run. Suck it.

bikerlaureate November 9, 2012 at 2:17 pm

So a half-white male married to a woman who loves Christ wouldn't count… particularly if he's still living in the White House?

rickmaci November 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Fuck Mitt. Now maybe he understands something of what it feels like to be one of the workers he fired. Egg can cry but screw her too. Twitt doesn't have a job but at least she doesn't have to face the morning worrying about how she will feed her family.

YankeeMacDoodle November 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Ha ha–for a good view inside RMoney H.Q. at the last minute, see this "Downfall" bunker scene parody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC64lwwggwM

reweni November 9, 2012 at 1:22 pm

The funny thing is that the unskewed polls guy's final predictions were *more* accurate than Romney's.

valthemus November 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I feel like I should have overdosed on schadenfreude by now, but this is all just SO. MUCH. FUN!

Note to self: If I ever feel compelled to spend a year+ acting like an insanely boorish, sexist, racist, elitist, homophobic, bible-thumping, self-deluded dickwad, be sure to join the Republican party.

lulzmonger November 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I CAME.

usuhname November 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Ah, to lick those sweet, sweet tears. Always best served from sacks of crap who've inexplicably made it their lifes work to piss over the little guy.

ChessieNefercat November 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Every other food or drink I have ever had in my life, no matter how tasty, at some point becomes too much. You get that old Alka-Seltzer feeling; Oooh, I can't believe I ate the whole thing…

But this delicious Germanic dessert treat? This Schadenfreude? It becomes tastier the more I help myself. The flavors ever more delicate and entrancing, the fragrance more mouthwatering, and oh, the appearance; lovelier than any childhood fairyland confectionery delight! I just can't get enough! Mmm, tasty!

Is it just me?

fuflans November 9, 2012 at 8:27 pm

oh no you devil, it's exactly like that.

evoshandor November 9, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Mitt Romney: The Thomas Dewey of the 21st century!

Troglodeity November 9, 2012 at 3:41 pm

My God. Can you imagine what a clusterfuck it would have been if the clueless people behind Romney had ever been in charge of a WAR or a HURRICANE RELIEF EFFORT or something like that? Oh, wait …

Nostrildamus November 9, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Doesn't bother to check whether the poll info he's getting is reliable. Doesn't bother to write a concession speech. Is Mitt perhaps one of those "lazy people who want free stuff" (like the presidency) we've all been hearing about?

JulemryBoston November 11, 2012 at 11:14 am

And YAY! just read in the Boston Globe that Willard Mittens had a huge fireworks display set up in Boston Harbor for the moment when he would be elected Prez. It would be seen from the windows of the Boston Convention Center. But -so sad (not really) – Willard had to tell the fireworks guys to go home. Waaaahhhhhhh!

Thanks for letting me know that Ann "You People" Romney cried. That's the cherry on top of the sundae. BWAA-HA-HA!!!!!!

eaglewon November 11, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I am so happy and relieved, in late october I got pretty nervous there for awhile, but I just relaxed myself and relied on Obama's team to figure it out, and to determine the right strategy. Well they did big time, those guys are some bad motherfuckers. They're much better than I thought. I really wish we could go for a third term, that would be really fun.

YankeeMacDoodle November 12, 2012 at 12:42 am

"Turns out Romney really did write it at the very last minute, because, as mentioned, he literally thought he was sure to win!"
Wow!
Nothing sums it up better than this Hitler in the bunker scene (with all-new Romney captions) from "Downfall" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC64lwwggwM
Key line–"Gentlemen, if you think I'm going to give a brilliant concession speech, you're mistaken."

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