We don’t want to get into any ugly stereotyping, but one of our major-party candidates for president is working very hard today, voting this morning and then flying to other states, while the other one is just chilling on the South Side of Chicago and playing some hoops with his so-called “home boys.” Do we really need four more years of a president who’s cool and collected? Or do we want someone who votes at the last minute when he could’ve done it weeks ago and then dashes off to states he can’t win just to look like he’s not wasting his donors’ money?
Mitt Romney voted this morning in Belmont, Massachusetts, where he “lives.” There’s no indication in the news coverage that he had his security goons kick ordinary humans out of line so he could vote, but our Editrix heard on Twitter that he did so obviously we’re going to go with that.
Meanwhile, the lamestream media is mum on exactly which ghetto thugs Obama played basketball with as part of his election-day ritual. We’re guessing the game included core members of his crew, like Rahm Emmanuel and Larry Summers. [ABC/WP]
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I'd pay a hundred bucks just to see Willard try to dribble twenty feet.
He's tall, so he must be in sport. No?
Yup, just the right height.
Do you reaaly believe that hoop is to scale??
You're asking the wrong white man. I can't dribble, shoot OR jump, so I wouldn't know dick about the hoop.
Oh please! He does that nightly after he takes his teeth out.
Now that's a picture I didn't need in my brain.
Or when Eggs is late with his meds.
Mitt and basketball is an even odder pairing than Utah and Jazz.
And just like the Jazz, he'll always be a runner-up.
"This basketball thing… it's very urban, isn't it?"
Muy.
Ryan/Compassion?
They don't have basketball in the Mormon enclaves of Mexico, so it's not like Mitt grew up on it.
Bring'em Young University libel.
I'd pay whatever just to see him GO AWAY. I'm all feisty and shouty today. I want a crying Ann who didn't get her way before the day is over.
If you don't get your way, I'll be crying right along with Ann.
Do you think she'll break down like Santorum's daughter in 2008? That would be worth this whole drawn out, wretched election.
I'm right there with you on the shouty thing, there will be random MF'ers thrown around me all day at the slightest provocation.
A Mad Scene would be delicious!
Obama in the low post and then…BAM! In your fucking face, Plastic Man!
Yeah, well, Mitt would like to see Barry pin down some dork and cut off his hair!
Mittens is about to get a major trim.
Wha–!? Oh, I didn't see your "a".
Now THAT would be a waste of good trim.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KD9d1KjuK8E&fe…
Perzackly!
Dribbling? Please. Everyone knows Willard's a pro at flopping.
…and the flipping, don't forget the flipping.
I'd pay a hundred bucks to see him drool for three feet.
He's been drooling over his Presidential prospects for years now.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
Twenty feet? Hell, Mitt's been dribbling for two years now.
Looks like for naught, too.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
Swoosh.
Nothin' but net.
Also, I hope we net a few more (D) congressmen and senators, too.
At least things are looking good for our petite, progressive Pocahontas in MA. Nate Silver has got a high prob (94% !) that she's taking over Scott Brown's seat.
SIDEBAR BAZAAR AD: "One of us. One of us."
Finally, wonkette! The longneck bud's I've been looking for. How much with shipping and handling?
It's hard to post up in the paint in magic underwear.
Who dat got their hands on mah Barry!
And why is it not me???
Me!
No, me!
K girls and boys, let's not fight. We can haz orgy.
Orgies for everyone!
Today, we ALL got our hands on Barry!
In the end if you aren't having fun, what's the point? And a president who hates is life his going to make the rest of us miserable indeed.
Golf later?
Rahm lost a fingertip slam-dunking.
Nah, he lost it in a long form improv.
Is it ok that I totally have a crush on Bamz?
Get in line, bub.
Ahem.
Orals to the left, anals to the right. Please have your orifice ready.
Only if you are a lady girl. If you are a boy, Mittens doesn't even know you people could *have* crushes!
Look, President Obama's been very busy, what with ruining the county, bowing to foreign leaders, being a Socialist/Communist/Kenyan, and divorcing Michelle. The poor man needs a break!
Your forgot apologizing and killing Ambassador Stevens.
And demanding revenge.
Plus golf.
. . . and something, something–Nazis.
Just skew it.
The President's team beat the Secret Service by twelve points, but they had to unskew it to shut Erick Erickson up, so he only won by two
Secrete Service Team = Washington Generals
me personally i hope he's ordering a drone strike to take out romney.
with votes.
Sanguine votes.
Doesn't he have any Presidentey stuff to do? Why won't Obama do President stuff?
He's still done more than either Bush did.
And without public puking.
Wait until he has to shake hands with and thank Romney for losing with dignity. Except for those two years of recounts and law suits of course.
Heh. Maybe once it's a done deal tonight, he'll get his party on and show us his human side. (Blaaaarkkkghhg!)
Naw, I I just don't see it.
I love a man who will palm a ball for freedom. Please don't talk about Larry Summers today, I am trying to feel good about what I've done.
For you, I will palm two.
Woohoo Booj! Look at you all bragging and making Lance Armstrong feel even worse! Hasn't he suffered enough?
You know who ELSE had only one ball? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler_Has_Only_Got_…
Romney prefers Monopoly to basketball.
With both a capital "M" and a lower-case "m"…
Oh, win.
He probably likes shuffleboard and running around in his gold-plated scooter, too.
…and dancing horse.
Jim Croce was full of shit.
Whatever. I still don't spit into the wind.
I keep saying this: Obama got this, bro.
I don't mean to stereotype people, but I'm pretty sure that Mitt Romney supporters can't jump.
Can they get out of their hoverounds?
That would be their government-subsidized hover rounds, ammaright?
Ted Nugent can jump over a moose after doing an 8ball, just sayin'
You don't *need* to jump when you're on a polo pony.
Or riding a unicorn.
Mitt has supporters even when he's wearing his magic underwear? Boy, talk about suspenders and a belt.
Meat Loaf certainly can't jump.
Basketball?! Why doesn't he ride around on the back of some monster boat off his lakefront estate like a real president would?
Just kidding, of course — if Mitt got elected, it would just crush my dream of smoking a doobie on the White House roof.
Willie Nelson been there, done that! (the smokin a doobie thing at the WH, maybe the monster boat thing too – but with a doobie also, too).
You have that dream, too?
Do we really need four more years of a president who’s cool and collected?
Is that a trick question?
Mitt's favorite pastime in fact his only hobby is running for President. Tomorrow is going to be the beginning of a very difficult time for Ann.
I thought his favorite hobby was visiting his money in Switzerland.
No, the Caymans, mon.
Maybe if she got him a metal-detector and some baggy bermuda shorts…
Now that Mitt's losing his full time job of 8 years (running for office), perhaps he'll turn his energies, like elder statesmen Clinton and Carter, to help out on worldwide charitable causes.
BWHAAA HAHAHAH HAHAAA!!!
I totally kill myself sometimes.
This is the same guy who laughed and cracked jokes after ordering bin Laden killed. Ice water freezes when it gets near his veins.
Take
it
to
the
hole
!
Yeah, that Romney talks a good game, but his shit don't go in.
I just realized that the best I can hope for today is 4 more years of the same shit we've been experiencing for the past 4 years. Ugh.
He's playing against Chris Christie, captain of the skins team.
And there goes my lunch.
I just threw up in my mouth, a little.
Thanks alot. Now I need a sharp stick to poke out my mind's eye.
Insufficient. We need to go back in time and kill the first ancestral vertebrate with photo-receptors. It's the only way to be sure.
He's not just captain of the skins team, he's the owner of the largest skin collection this side of Hoboken.
If I had the privilege of saying one thing to our President today it would be “relax dude we’ve got this”.
typed +1 for sheer awesomeness
Basketball, such an urban sport, unlike dancing horses.
I think he's just taunting the racists now; which is awesome.
Yep, gonna have some fried chicken and watermelon after the game.
Wash it down with a 40.
Don't let him intercept that blunt.
CHOOM!
Oh you guys think this is all just fun and games, but you won't be laughing when he shows up to work tomorrow wearing gold chains and a fedora, holding a cane.
Now that would rock.
And a clock.
I'm hoping Luther the Anger Translator gets to be the next WH Press Secretary.
Oh oh oh! Another Key and Peele fan!
Taunting racists is like throwing a ball to a labrador retriever. It's fun for the first five minutes but gets real boring for you but not the lab.
In event of an electoral tie, Mitt and Barry play a game of one-on-one to 11.
In which case Nate Silver gives Barry a 101% chance of winning.
Better yet, Barry and Mitt each field a team by rotating selections from the Supreme Court. Ruth Bader may be small, but she has a wicked three pointer.
But Romney would have Clarence Thomas, and he's probably good at basketball because he's, um,… tall.
Bamz brings a whole new meaning to "Now watch this drive"
It's gotta be the shoes!
Voted today in Atlanta, took 90 mins and I was only about 50th in line. We really need to fix out voting. They had the exact number of voting machines they had for the primaries (8)
And I split my ticket between straight Dem and Lizard People, for old time's sake. See image – http://imgur.com/h9Zup
Meanwhile, the lamestream media is mum on exactly which ghetto thugs Obama played basketball with as part of his election-day ritual. We’re guessing the game included core members of his crew, like Rahm Emmanuel and Larry Summers.
Bill Ayers and Frank Marshall, duh!
When did the U of Chicago become a ghetto, 'cause tht's Bamz's neighborhood.
Don't forget Saul Alinksy and Rev. Wright.
The starting five of Romney & Sons would get manhandled by the Facts of Life girls.
Yah. Whatz up with those kids? They are just about the girliest boys I've ever seen.
Lazy and shiftless, maybe, but can he make the free throws? That's the question that will decide this election.
*Free* throws? What are you, socialist? You turn those free throws in immediately so your betters can have them, the folks who deserve free throw cuts!
No, I'm a Kenyan Marxist, but I'm sure that given a chance Romney will monetize it, likely at least .25 a ball to play
47% of the population expect free throws.
He was pretty good off the pick Joe Biden set for him.
Off to vote now, y'all. Of course, I'm in Tejas, so my votes for POTUS/VPOTUS, Senate and House don't matter, but at least I can keep some sane people in the Lege and get some local stuff done. Then it's off to have lunch with the cutest 2nd grader in the world. Obamanos, Tejas!
your day will come moses, your day will come.
Update-I ended up going to lunch first, since the line to vote at my precinct was an hour long. Actually voted at my daughter's school-new rule in the People's Republic of Austin is that you can vote anywhere in Travis County. Looks to me like a bigger turnout than 2008, in a state where only Bubba's vote counts for national elections. Poll worker who was working the big early voting site on Friday said that they had people in there until midnight. Enthusiasm gap, my @ss!
I vote in TX too. First time in a long time that I just pulled the D lever and was done with it.
All you potheads will be glad to know I voted for medical marijuana here in MA.
You might rethink that when we all move there….
I got relatives in Lexing– huh?
Heck, I mailed in my ballot for COMPLETE LEGALIZATION OF THE POT two weeks ago here in sunny purple-mountained Colorado. What's taking you Commiewealth commies so long to catch up? Being a recovering Masshole myself, just curious.
This shit right here? You mean this shit right here? This shit right here!
I live in a write-in state, so so did I. For congress.
Woooow, maaaan.
Guy who encountered voting machine neafariousness: "Now this is troubleshooting I can believe in."
Per Kos: Chrysler is giving its entire workforce the day off to vote.
*Eat* it, Mittens!
That is brilliant. I wish more companies would do that.
Guess Rmoney's lying about all those Chrysler Jeep jobs being moved to China wasn't such a clever ploy after all…
The real reason is so that the Chinese can come in, and see the equipment that they're buying. Mittens told me.
Oh, would that be because this is the last time Chrysler workers will get to vote in a U.S. election as employees of said company, per Romney.
Indeed, eat it, Money Boo Boo.
Lazy unions!
OT
Earworm. Getcher earworm, here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH5Arbm47IQ&fe…
It has a beat, and you can dance to it!
If anyone has the stones, Memeorandum is a carnival of right-wing butthurt. But please don't go over if you're gullible or really worried about the election.
maybe tomorrow.
Are you worried, Actor? Please tell me not to worry so's I can get some work done…
Obama got this
*sniff* thanks.
Today I didn't even have to make an appearance in AK.
Today was a good day.
Tell your old man to drag Larry Summers up and down the court for 60 minutes and see how he feels…
We voted absentee–my wife had a medical procedure scheduled and I was accompanying her. On the way down Southfield Road we passed a school that had two polling places for the tiny suburb of Lathrup Village. Like Southfield, where we live and which surrounds it, it is majority African American, middle and working class.
At 8:30 AM there were lines out the door from each polling place–must have been 75 people in each line at the time waiting to get in. Four hours later, on the way back, there were still two significant lines. Most the early line looked like black people dressed for work, lots of retired white people later.
I wouldn't be surprised if the President got all the votes cast by those citizens.
I sent in my absentee vote a couple of weeks ago, so I wouldn't have to clog up a booth working my way through a four-page Florida ballot with constitutional amendments on medical methamphetamine and Homo Sapiens marriage.
They're letting Homo sapiens marry? The horror!
I heard that our so-called President slept over 4 HOURS last night, instead of creating jobs!!
Liz Cheney, is that you?
He stone-cold ballin'.
It only looks like a basketball game. Actually, it's a strategy session: picking out which foreign lands will be on "Apology Tour II," or whatever the Republicans will call anything that the newly re-elected POTUS does, the day after he is securely re-elected. Campaign 2016 starts 3 seconds after Romney makes his Concession Speech, or sends Rafalka out to tap out the words with his hooves.
I had no idea a man of Mittens' size could live comfortably inside a standard post office box.
Good thing he voted. Imagine if Romney had lost Massachussets by just one vote? Think of how foolish he'd feel.
Good thing you're good-looking.
Aw,shucks (hangs head, shuffles feet around) Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
If you take the name Obama, switch a few of the letters around and add some more it spells Hitler.
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